October 2012 - Skinny Dip

Looking to kick things up a notch in the bedroom with some sexy products but are overwhelmed by all the options? Love pampering yourself? Want to have a box of sexy, flirty, goodies sent right to your mail box every month?!

If you’ve answered “Yes, please!” to any of these questions, then the very cheekily named new subscription service LuvMyBox is for you!

When it came to shopping for sex toys, LuvMyBox Founder and CEO, Kim Kaplan, didn’t know where to start. Uncomfortable in sex toy stores and shy about introducing sex toys into her relationship, she started LuvMyBox a discrete monthly subscription service that sends you a box full of sexy, flirty goodies every month. LuvMyBox is convenient, discrete and a fun way to explore your sexuality with products which are hand selected by (s)experts.

The boxes come discreetly packaged in black but contain a variety of adult oriented products to incorporate into your relationship and the bedroom. Although LuvMyBox is marketed towards couples, I also think it’s great for singles (like me) who enjoy trying new products that make them feel sexy.

So, what exactly is inside the box? Well that’s part of the fun, it’s meant to be a surprise! However, since the lovely people at LuvMyBox sent me my very own box to try (thank you!!), I’ll give you a peek inside the October box:

(Clockwise right to left)

1. Eucalyptus and Spearmint Body Aromatherapy Wash & Bath Foam by Bath and Body Works: This cute little bottle of body wash smells fresh and is perfect for a relaxing night in. When I’m super stressed it can sometimes take me a while to wind down & get in a sexy state of mind. A leisurely bath or shower with an aromatherapy infused product like this body wash is good way for me to unwind…plus, if there is another person involved, even better!

2. I Rub my Duckie (Travel Size) by Big Teaze Toys: Okay, okay. I know I’ve made fun of the I Rub my Duckie in the past, however now that I have this cute travel sized one I can’t help but admire how cute it is. If you aren’t familiar, the I Rub My Duckie is not your average duck – it vibrates! The vibrations are not really strong enough to for me, however I can definitely see this being a fun bath-time accessory for solo or couples play. Because the vibrations are so tame it’s perfect for someone who has never tried an adult toy before or as a teasing “appetizer” before the main course. Although my “box” may not love this duckie, I do like the novelty aspect and the fact that it’s waterproof. I also like that I didn’t have to run out to the store for batteries before trying it because the LuvMyBox ladies are awesome and included some in the box!

3. Dona Bath Foam: I’ve been wanting to try the Dona line of products ever since I fell in love with their cute, lingerie inspired packaging. I was super excited when I opened my box and found this full sized bottle of Goji Berry Bath Foam. The product smells delicious and is infused with Aphrodisiacs to help get you in the mood!

4. Inttimo Aromatherapy Bath and Massage Oil in “Sensuality” and “Cucumber Melon”: I haven’t tried these yet however, I can’t think of a better way to follow a relaxing bath together than with a sensual massage 🙂

5. Bath Puff: I think there is something so sexy and intimate about washing your partner – I love it! Ideal for lathering up, this simple bath puff is perfect finishing touch to this romantic bath themed box. Plus, who doesn’t need a new bath puff?! If you’re flying solo like I am you can use it to exfoliate in the shower, giving you softer, smoother skin. It’s a win/win!

The box also includes a “do not disturb card” complete with a few sexy tips and suggestions.

The final verdict: I “luv” this box!

I think the concept of LuvMyBox is wonderful. Even the best relationships sometimes need a little spicing up. Each LuvMyBox is an intentional reminder to explore, have fun and be intimate with your partner. Plus, who doesn’t enjoy receiving surprise gifts in the mail?! If you’re single like me, receiving a LuvMyBox feels a bit like you have this secret admirer who just wants you to pamper yourself and feel good (No complaints here!)

At $34.95 per month, LuvMyBox is a bit of a splurge for me however, because I love the concept so much I’m actually considering sending a few months worth of boxes as a wedding shower gift to one of my close friends who is getting married soon.

What do you guys think? Would you try a service like this?

PS. I was given my LuvMyBox free of charge in exchange for an honest review of the product. All opinions are my own.

Greetings from Toronto!

I’m back in the big city for a few weeks to pack up the rest of my stuff that I have in storage so I can ship it back to Sleepytown and make my move back to the West Coast “official.” Although I’m really happy to be back in the city staying with one of my best friends, I’m less excited about dealing with the contents of my storage locker, moving and the subsequent back pain that usually comes along with that. I just want it to be over & done with so I can relax a bit and enjoy my time here!

Between packing up the contents of my life & hanging out with friends I’m going to be attending the Toronto Everything To Do With Sex Show (ETDWSS). I went last year and spent an interesting afternoon hobnobbing with male strippers, watching gorgeous lingerie models and browsing a wide assortment of weird and wonderful products. A few days ago the lovely PR people for ETDWSS sent me a care package that included this:

Yes, that’s a shortbread cookie that appears to have it’s very own set of pierced nipples. This arrived only a few days after the Spinster Catalog. See what I mean about “Mixed Messages”?!

The Everything To Do With Sex Show is taking place the weekend of November 2-4. The show features tons of different exhibitors promoting everything from sex toys, lingerie, to body care products and perfume. There will also be live entertainment, seminars, sexy body painting, a sexy fitness zone, and access to both an onsite Dungeon and a 50 Shades of Grey themed play room (ha!)

I’m particularly excited about the Celebrity Star Area because it means I might get to meet one of my favourite adult stars Tera Patrick. The only thing I’m sad about is that this girl won’t be joining me!

Oh and if you liked Magic Mike, you’ll love the Canadian equivalent: “Canadian Men International” which are fresh off of their on-going world tour. Bring on the shirt ripping and awkward hip thrusting dance moves! (or not)

If you’d like to check out the show, the good folks at ETDWSS have given me pair of VIP tickets to giveaway to a lucky winner. To enter to win the tickets, please comment on this entry. Get an extra entry every time you tweet the following:

Hey @by_simone I want to WIN a pair of VIP tickets to the Everything To Do with Sex Show #Toronto #YYZsex http://su.pr/7GEhkH

I’ll select a winner Wednesday October 31st (Halloween!!!)

Speaking of Halloween and boobs, if you need some costume inspiration check out my post from my archives on How to Make the Katy Perry Cupcake Bra. I shamelessly watched Katy Perry: Part of Me on the plane the other night & kind of loved it (Candy! Neon! Cats! KATY! What’s not to love?) and now am reminiscing about my old costume. There’s no way I’m going to top THIS for Halloween 2012.

Stay tuned for a re-cap of my adventures at the ETDWSS as well as reviews of some of the other goodies they sent me.

xox

Years ago, when I was still living in Toronto, I remember having a conversation with my friend Alex about the IKEA catalog. When I told him that I never received it in the mail anymore, he explained that apparently IKEA had set up these invisible borders in the city based on presumed income. If your apartment fell on the wrong side of the dotted line it meant that you didn’t receive the catalog. Lots has changed in Toronto since then. Neighbourhoods that were once rough around the edges have since been gentrified, making way for Yuppies and Hipsters alike. I assume that IKEA has adjusted their mailing policies. However, back then when I lived in an affordable “up and coming” neighbourhood where my “neighbours” consisted of a group of transexual prostitutes who conducted business in front of my apartment building, being told by IKEA that they didn’t I could afford a $29 bookshelf just added insult to injury.

I feel that similar, mysterious forces are at play here. The other day I received this in the mail:

Is it possible that my subscription to Fredricks of Hollywood got cancelled and no one told me? Inside the “Added Touch” catalog I found a wide variety of floor length night gowns, Christmas sweaters and all things related to cats. Universe, are you trying to tell me something? I know I’ve acting like a bit of a Senior Citizen lately now but come on, this is a bit much.

I’ve included some of my favourite pages from “The Added Touch” so you can see what I’m dealing with:

Readers, behold Exhibit A: “The Snuggle Popover Robe.”

Because nothing says “sexy” like a floor length turtleneck. If I ever decide to kill my sex life for good, I’m going to start rocking one of those bad boys. Like the catalog says, they are perfect for chilly nights…alone. Can’t decide between periwinkle or hospital pink?! No problem! There are plenty of other colour options in the same ultra body obscuring cut:

Personally, I’m a fan of the “Catnap Flannel Sleepshirt.” You can’t tell from the photo but theres actually a matching rhinestone studded cat T-shirt and coordinating pair of Christmas socks featured on the same page. It’s the perfect thing to wear if you plan to lure eligible bachelors into your poinsettia themed bedroom:

(PS. Throw on a “Sequined Glamor Cap” to keep things interesting!)

I’m not going to lie, I was actually impressed by the sheer volume of cat related merchandise they carry. Cat Face T-Shirt or coasters anyone?

The tie-dyed “Fluffy Felines Tee” (above) is actually kind of awesome. Oddly enough, it’s also kind of trendy. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the same T-Shirt being sold at one of the uber Hipster stores on Queen Street West for 3x the price.

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This post is sponsored by MyAKA a privacy protection service which allows you to signup for a second mobile number with a local area code. All opinions and comically tragic dating anecdotes are my own.

If this blog has taught you anything, it’s that I am a certified weirdo magnet – especially when it comes to the opposite sex. Between the Creepy Single Dad, The Nudist Barrista and dudes like Mr. Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire, my dating history has been “colourful” to say the least. I think this is part of the reason I am so hesitant to start actively dating again. I’m kind of afraid to see what I’d pull in if I tossed my net out, if you know what I’m saying. However, I wasn’t always this cautious. Back in the late 90’s & early 2000’s when I was just a young whipper snapper dating up a storm, I’d often give out my phone number when I met someone I might be interested in. This was in the pre-Facebook, pre-Texting, pre-Everyone-is-emailing-everyone era – how else were you supposed to get a hold of someone?! Giving out my real digits meant that after a night of partying, I often received phone calls from people I barely remembered (“I’m sorry, who are you again?”) or I’d end up with some creepy dude who’d call again & again & again even after I’d told him I wasn’t interested. As my friend Casey once said to me:

“If you wrote an autobiography it would be called “Simone’s Big Book of Creeps”

Casey is a wise man.

When it comes to dating, safety and peace of mind are key. This is why I was excited to hear about MyAKA a new privacy protection service which helps safeguard you from creeps by providing you with a second mobile phone number in your local area code. This is a service that I totally could have used when I was in early 20’s.

Here’s how MyAKA works: They give you a second number in users local area code, allowing two mobile numbers on one phone. Instead of giving out your real number when you’re online dating or meeting new people, you can give your “AKA” number until you feel comfortable with the person. When using the MyAKA system, those who you are corresponding with will only see your MyAKA number, keeping your real mobile information protected, safe and secure. Here are a few other fun features:

-Full voice and text message support in the United States and Canada

– Easy number blocking and unblocking

– Do Not Disturb feature which sends calls to voicemail and stores text messages when enabled.

– No apps, downloads or internet required. All features are controlled via text message.

– Because we all enjoy a freebie, you can enjoy a 7 Day Free Trial with no payment information required (woo hoo!)

Not only do you get feel safer while dating, there is something something kind of bad-ass and James Bond-y about having a second “identity” – even if it’s just a phone number.

If you want to give MyAKA a whirl, it’s simple! Just take advantage of the 7-day free trial. What’s the catch? None. Unlike a lot of dating situations, this one is no strings attached. You can spend 7 days flirting with MyAKA, without even entering your credit card. If you like the service, you can upgrade your number in two easy steps at the MyAKA site.

What do you guys think? Would you use a service like this?

One of my favourite movies is Garden State.

I saw it when it first came out in theatres. I was 24, going through the beginning phases of a quarter life crisis and like the characters in the film, I spent a lot of time feeling lost, disconnected, searching for answers & love. Garden State spoke to me on a deeper level. I fell in love with the movie and promptly purchased the DVD as soon as it was released. During that time in my life I’d watch the movie often – partly because I loved it, but also because I was super broke, couldn’t afford cable and it was one of the only DVDs I owned. There in tiny bachelor pad, on my tiny TV, I’d watch Andrew & Sam fall in love, and feel comforted.

I was researching the film recently for a writing assignment and found an interesting interview with Zach Braff (director and star of the film) where he said:

“I have this theory that your body goes through puberty in its teens, and the mind goes through puberty in your twenties.”

I came to a similar conclusion a few years ago. My mind (and my body to a certain extent) definitely went through a puberty of sorts in my mid-twenties. However if someone had read me that Zach Braff quote at the time, I’m sure I would have scoffed at it. This just goes to show that sometimes you need some distance from your experiences to really see them clearly.

I graduated university when I was 23 with a degree in Anthropology and English. I really loved my university experience and I wasn’t prepared for the shock to the system that happened when I graduated. Being in university allowed me to build this cushy bubble around myself. I went to class, I worked at my part time job, I studied really hard, I had fun dating and I partied with my friends on the weekends. When things went awry in my personal life I always had the consistency of school & studying to fall back on and keep me focused. When I graduated, this bubble burst and I suddenly had to deal with the “the real world”.

My room-mates and I went our separate ways and I rented a small bachelor apartment. I worked 40 hours a week, barely scraping by while looking for that illusive first “real job”. Aside from my bed, my furnishings consisted of a desk which no longer had legs, two lawn chairs and a couple of plastic storage bins. Also there was a weird scent like smelled like burning that wafted out of my kitchen cupboards for no particular reason. My life wasn’t exactly an episode of Cribs (unless there’s an episode where a girl discovers she’s living below a meth lab then yes, my life was totally like Cribs.)

Like my living situation, my love life left something to be desired. After dating a wide assortment of unpredictable characters during university, I settled on the kite-boarder because he was older, stable, nice to me (most of the time), and seemed like a good choice on paper. Plus, dating him gave me an excuse not to hang out in my apartment. However, with 11 years between us we just weren’t right for each other for many reasons. It wasn’t entirely his fault. Around this time I started my emotional hoarding. Although I was dating him, I was still obsessing over dudes I had dated before him who weren’t really worth my time to begin with. During this period I often felt lonely, frustrated and “stuck” (and I can’t help but wonder if he didn’t feel the same way when he was with me.)

While my mind was stuck in a mid-20’s angst death spiral, my body decided to go through a second puberty – literally. Shortly after my skin started to break out painful chin acne. At a time when I desperately wanted to feel pulled together and adult, it felt like I was wearing a bandana made of pizza. It was a huge karate chop to my self-esteem. I spent many nights sitting on the tupperware bin I used as a desk chair, eating a large bowl of ramen noodles, fervently researching severe acne removal techniques.

(I never connected the ramen noodles to the acne, however I later found out that I’m extremely sensitive to gluten and dairy. One of the symptoms: terrible break-outs. Go figure.)

The worst part about this period of my life wasn’t that most of my furniture was made from items that you could find at an abandoned construction site or that my diet mostly involved two food groups (“macaroni” and “cheese”) – it was that I became envious of the people around me who I thought had better jobs, nicer clothes, more exciting relationships, clearer skin and what I perceived to be better lives. I’d lie awake at night thinking, “When will it ever come together for me? When will it be my turn? When will my real life begin?”

I knew I had to take action but I didn’t know where to start. I think that’s part of the post-university 20-something conundrum – there are so many choices, options and challenges, that it can seem completely overwhelming and insurmountable. It’s enough to make you just go numb. That was my solution to the problem, until it wasn’t.

I’m not going to try and sugar coat this and tell you guys that there was this one “aha” moment that forced me out of my quarter life crisis. To be honest, it actually took several years of experiences, learning and work to really put my quarter life crisis behind me.

A few years later I went back to school to take some part-time classes. I remember the day one of my profs told the class:

“Don’t measure yourself against someone else’s yardstick”

It’s stuck with me ever since.

When you’re in your 20’s you’re trying to establish your place in the world as an adult and it’s so easy to look to other people to gage your progress. I can’t count how many times I allowed myself to feel bad about myself because I didn’t have my “dream job” yet, or an advanced degree like so & so, or own a condo like ______, or make as much money as ____ who worked in _____ career. Did I actually want a career in ________ ? NO. So why was I allowing myself to feel bad about it?! Everyone is on their own individual path. What’s right for one person isn’t necessarily right for you. Keeping a running tally of who has what doesn’t do you any justice. Once I truly embraced this, I felt a lot better.

By not constantly comparing myself to other people, I had so much more energy to actually. do. stuff.

A few things that have also become really apparent as a 30-something: Things change. What’s true in your mid 20’s might be totally different in your early 30’s.

My friends who struggled in their 20’s like did, are now thriving. They’re now designing, creating, writing & starting careers in fields they are really passionate about. The couples with the enviable “perfect relationships” – a lot of them are still together, however an equal amount are getting divorced and finding greater happiness with new partners that they are way more compatible with. Many of my friends who had their “dream job” at 25, are now looking into new options: embracing parenthood, switching careers, opening yoga studios – you name it. I still have friends who make infinitely more money than I do, however when it comes to my career they are supportive & encouraging beyond belief. This makes me realize it was never a competition to begin with.

You’re probably wondering why I’m thinking about all this right now. The truth is I’m selling my couch that I have in storage in Toronto. Some history on the couch: when I finally got that first “real job” and received my first bonus cheque, I bid my lawn chairs goodbye and invested in some actual furniture. My 25th birthday present to myself was a pretty black leather couch from Ikea. I was so proud of that sofa so much because it made me feel like I was finally a real adult. I was no longer sitting on lawn chairs! I had real furniture! I had arrived! The other day my friend texted me to say that she’d found a guy who was willing to buy the couch for $70 and I winced slightly. It’s weird to put a price on something that once meant so much to you, however I know I need to let it go. For a long time I used things – bank account balances, furniture, fancy purses, jewelry – as a way to bench mark my success and compare myself to people around me. However, in the end there is something to be said about letting go of “keeping up with the Jones'” and just doing your own thing. I no longer need the physical “stuff” to remind me I’m an adult. I’m enough on my own. Maybe that’s what growing up is all about: realizing this & throwing away the yardstick.

xox

Review | Flirty, Sexy Surprises Every Month with LuvMyBox

Sex, Boobs, Toronto & a Giveaway

Welcome to Spinsters ‘R’ Us

How To Date Safely: Get a Second Mobile Number

Stop Comparing Yourself & Other Lessons From My 20’s

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