Things I would Tell my 20-year old Self #4 – Skye

Hello Skinny Dippers!

Welcome to another installment Things I Would Tell my 20-Year old Self. I often wish I could go back in time and have a conversation with my younger self so I could tell her the things I’ve learned, give her a hug and let her know “don’t worry, everything is going to be OK”. Today I’m really excited to have my friend Skye Blue who will be sharing some of the things she’d tell her 20-year old self.

Skye is one third of the blogging powerhouse behind Met Another Frog – a funny, sexy, informative blog that offers both a male and female perspective on anything & everything related to dating and mating. Their blog is sassy & daring. From hilarious dating disasters to steamy sexual fantasies – they really do talk about everything (so much so, that most of the time they make my blog look like the Brady Bunch) If you love reading about sex & relationships and you haven’t checked out their blog yet you’re seriously missing out.

I love Skye’s confidence and fearless writing style so, I am really happy she’s decided to share some of her wisdom with us. I really like what Skye has to say and I hope you do too!

Take it away Skye!

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I’m on the cusp of my 40th year and clearer about my life than I ever have been. As lovely as being 20 was (I had a blast way back then), I am so thankful for all that I now know as a 39 year old woman.

As a 20 year old I was: a fearful and insecure secure girl who tried to mask it with false bravado; naïve enough to be convinced that I knew everything; blunt to a fault; and incredibly intolerant of anyone who didn’t agree with my social/political views. A lot has changed since then (though perhaps not as much as I’d like to think), so here’s what I would tell my 20 year-old self if I had the chance to sit her down for a long chat…

1. Love yourself… for real. Virtually every day for the rest of your life you’re going to hear/see/receive messages (commonly known as advertising) that tell you that in one way or another, you’re not attractive, thin, rich, smart, strong, good or whatever enough. Don’t buy it for even a second. As the very wise Ms. Eleanor Roosevelt said, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. So never ever give it to anyone or anything trying to keep you down.

2. Don’t waste time worrying about what people think of you. Take it from me, you’re probably not even on the radar of anyone you believe may be concerned with the goings on in your life. Truth is the vast majority of people (at least the ones who have anything at all going for them) are way too caught up in the mess of their own lives to be bothered with what you’re doing. So live and let live, and just do you.

3. Never forget that you teach people how to treat you. This applies to both your business and personal life – including your relationships with your family members, friends and love interests. So always ask for (and if necessary demand) the respect/treatment you know you deserve, because nobody else is going to do it for you. What’s more if you don’t, rest assured there will be plenty of people waiting in line to take advantage of your failure to do so.

4. Practice less judgment and more compassion. Nobody’s perfect. As a human being with many frailties you’ll make mistakes, occasionally disappoint people, and with more regularity than you’d ever care to admit, hurt the ones you love the most. So master the art of compassion…particularly for yourself.

5. Value your longstanding friendships. Don’t ever take your old friends – you know, the ones who’ve stood by your side, front and center even, in good times and bad – for granted. The trusted members of your inner circle are going be your bedrock for most, if not all of your life. So treat them well and let them know how much you appreciate them often.

6. Be fearlessly adventurous. Seek out new experiences. Spend time in conversation (more often than not listening) to people who are different from you. Travel every chance you get. Each new experience you have will teach you something about yourself and the world you live in. All you have to do is keep an open mind so you can soak all those lessons in.

What would you tell your 20-year old (or younger) self?

For more of this series, check out:

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