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The Art of Pickle Pleasing

It’s the moments when I catch myself saying things like “Sorry, I can’t come out tonight. I have to read an instructional manual on penises for tomorrow” that I realize my life is completely absurd.

Thanks to the lovely Katrina of Ohhh Canada who sent me a copy of Dr. Sadie Alison’s book “Tickle His Pickle: Your Hands-On Guide to Penis Pleasing”, I spent the majority of Monday evening reading about penises. Now I’m ready to share my thoughts with you guys.

Something you should know about me is that I’m a bit of a perfectionist. If I can’t do something well, I tend to avoid doing it at all (for example, any sport involving a ball, stick or any degree of hand-eye coordination I avoid like the plague). When I was younger, I was this way when it came to blow-jobs. I hated giving them because I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. I’m sure I’m not the only woman who has felt like this at one time or another.

I never thought of picking up a book to learn more about the subject, instead I turned to my group of gay boyfriends for advice. Want to learn how to give really good head? Ask a gay guy!  It might just change your sex life. Now whenever a guy has asks me “OMG, where did you learn to do that?!?” I reply confidently, “A drag queen named Suzie

Don’t have a group of sassy gay friends who like to get drunk and over-share? No problem! This is where the book “Tickle His Pickle” comes in. Dr. Allison says that her book is designed to answer any dangling penis questions you may have such as the big one: “What does he really want me to do with it?!”

At first I was a bit apprehensive about this book. Could I really read a whole book devoted to learning how to better pleasure men?  I was pleasantly surprised that the book wasn’t all about him. Dr. Allison says one of her goals with the book is to help empower women to enjoy sex because they want to please themselves and not just their guy. I can totally get with that. When you feel confident in the bedroom and are in charge of your own pleasure, it’s empowering.

Along with techniques on how to give great blow jobs and hand-jobs  ( You’ll be introduced to “moves”  with memorable names like “The V-Spotter”, “The Knob Polisher” and my favorite “The Upside Down Sausage Wrap”), the book also includes tips on how to better communicate with your partner, build intimacy and practice safer sex. This book is definitely targeted at beginners however, even if you already feel pretty confident with your penis pleasuring skills you might still learn a few things (I did.)

Now for the things that made me cringe: The drawings (the book is full of cheesy cartoon diagrams that kind of remind me of the illustrations in my grade 8 Math textbook except with SO MUCH PENIS EVERYWHERE), some of the language (I shuddered – and not in a good way – every time Dr Allison used the words “love juice” ) and lastly a few tidbits of her advice (to keep things sexy with your partner, the Dr suggests “leaving a pair of your perfumed underwear inside your man’s briefcase before he goes to work for the day” – because nothing says “I love you” like forcing your partner to untangle his iPad from your leopard print thong while in the middle of an important board meeting.)

Sure, some of these details are a bit cheesy however, I think they are meant to keep the book light and accessible. The tone of the book is conversational (like one girlfriend talking to another) and at 140 pages, you won’t need to go digging through it to find the information you need. Overall, I think this book is a good starting point for anyone who wants to “raise their Penis IQ”. If you’re interested, you can purchase the book from the Ohhh Canada website for the very very reasonable price of $12.99.

*Thank you Ohhh Canada for providing a copy of the book for review! As always, all opinions are my own.

What are some of your favorite books about sex and/or relationships?

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