Hey, remember when I said I had a really fun sex toy review up my sleeve? Well, my friends, this one is a doozy.

It all starts on a rainy, stormy night sometime last winter. I was at home, enjoying some solo Netflix and Chill time, when I stumbled across the show Frisky Business. A few hours later, I’d watched the entire first season. In case you haven’t seen it, the reality show provides a fly on the wall look at everything that goes on at Lovehoney headquarters. I’ve been working with Lovehoney for a few years now, so while I’m not usually a fan of reality tv (unless, we’re talking about the TV masterpiece that is Gigolos), it was pretty cool seeing on-screen some of the people I’ve interacted with over the years (hi Caz!)

So, anyway. There’s this great scene where the team is trying to come up with ideas for sex toys and someone suggests attaching a slim dildo onto an electric turkey carving knife. The result is a protype for a vibrator that mimics a giant thrusting finger (you can watch the teaser scene here.) Flash forward a few months and BAM! the ROCKBOX Finger Thrusting Vibrator is born.

A vibrator that was inspired by an electric turkey carving knife (hey, my grandma has one of those knives!) sounds like either the best or the worst idea ever (but most likely the latter.) Naturally, I was curious. At the beginning of the summer I finally got my hands on my very ROCKBOX Finger Thrusting Vibrator and I’m now ready to share my findings.

Let’s start by discussing what we have here. The ROCKBOX Finger Thrusting Vibrator is a finger shaped, silicone vibrator that vibrates and “thrusts”  (similar to Fun Factory Stronic Eins, which I reviewed earlier in the year.) The toy is described as “With a strong, thrusting finger that is perfectly shaped to stimulate the G-spot, it’s the ideal sex toy for adventurous women who are curious about the phenomenon of squirting.”

With 5.5 inches of insertable length and 3 thrusting speeds, the Fun Factory Stronic Eins promises to “kick-start your journey to an explosive G-spot orgasm.” Are you intrigued? BECAUSE, I’M INTRIGUED. 

Now that I have had a chance to ahem, satisfy my curiosity, I will say this: I was right about my initial assessment. The Rockbox Thrusting Finger is both the best thing and the worst thing all at the same time. Let me explain.

Here’s what it has going for it –

• Power. This toy is powerful AF. It feels like something that belongs in a hardware store, not your bedroom. I actually jumped a little when I turned it on for the first time! Don’t believe me? Watch this video. But, as someone who is perpetually  disappointed with lacklustre & weak-ass toys, the sheer power of Rockbox Thrusting Finger is a huge selling feature. Once you figure out how to use the toy (I’ll get to that in a minute) it feels like you’re getting the fingering of lifetime by the (neon pink) hands of Thor (or equivalent superhero.)  I mean, check out the video…

• G-spot stimulation. Hits the right spot. Enough said.

• Fun, cheeky, power tool inspired packaging. You’re either going to love the simple hardware store inspired packaging of this toy or you’re not. I personally think it’s kind of hilarious. The packaging isn’t anything luxurious, however it suits the experience of the toy (see above.) 

Here’s what’s needs improving –

• Awkward battery situation. I’m usually not a fan of battery operated toys. With that said, I wouldn’t mind the fact that the Rockbox Thrusting Finger is battery operated if the batteries weren’t so difficult to insert/remove. Batteries are inserted in the top of the toy, however getting the top unscrewed is nearly impossible. I had to use a pair of pliers. That’s taking this whole hardware store theme just a little too far…

• It has quite a bit of “drag.” I’m not even sure if drag is the right word. High school physics was never my strong point. Basically, here’s the problem: this is a mechanical toy. It thrusts. While this feels awesome, if you press the toy too hard against the walls of your vagina, the friction will cause it to either slow down or temporarily stop altogether. In order to get the most out of this toy, you have to hold it lightly and not bear down on it too much. This isn’t the worst thing ever – it just takes a bit of practice and getting used to. Now that I’ve figured out how to make this toy work for me, it’s great.

• IT’S LOUD AF. Oh my god, I cannot stress how loud this toy is. I’ve been reviewing sex toys for almost five years and this is by far the loudest toy I have ever encountered. It’s noisy in a way that will have your neighbours wondering why you’re using a chainsaw in your bedroom.

So, while the negative aspects make the Rockbox Thrusting Finger less than ideal (ugh, the batteries!), the sheer power and feel of the toy still outweigh the “cons” – at least for me.

While I’m certain that the Fun Factory Stronic Eins is a much higher quality of toy (rechargeable! German designed! Doesn’t require pliers!), the Rockbox Thrusting Finger is the one I find myself reaching for whenever I’m craving a toy that thrusts and pulsates. The Rockbox Thrusting Finger has more raw power. Plus, I find that the thinner, more finger-like shape of the Rockbox is easier to maneuver and better at actually reaching my g-spot.

I like to think of the two toys like this:

If the Fun Factory Stronic Eins and the Rockbox Thrusting Finger were sitting at a bar together, the Stronic would be the suave European guy  (handsome! good job! nice apartment!) confidently nursing a pricey Scotch. On the other end of the bar you have the Rockbox, drinking a Smirnoff Ice and yelling at the TV. You’ll flirt with the sexy European, but at the end of the night you’ll go home with Mr. Smirnoff Ice. Sure, he’s not as refined and you’re not certain whether his mullet is ironic or not, but gosh darn it, this dude has a way with his hands.

Yes, this is exactly the kind of situation we’re dealing with here, my friends.

So, while this toy isn’t perfect, I did have a lot of fun with it. The Rockbox isn’t as good quality as something like the Fun Factory Stronic Eins – but, the price reflects this. At $49.99, the Rockbox Thrusting Finger is an affordable option for anyone who is looking to try something new and different without breaking the bank. (this is compared to the Stronic’s nearly $200 price tag.)

What do you guys think?

This toy was provided to me free of charge by the awesome people at Lovehoney. All opinions are my own because that’s how I roll.