Sex Toys Archives - Page 14 of 14

In high-school I had this one girlfriend who was a year older and quite a bit more sexually experienced than I was. Although I had just started sleeping with my first boyfriend, at the time I was still pretty clueless about sex. One day while we were walking home from school she started to tell me about her new boyfriend:

“His penis is curved”

“WHAT?!”

“No, it’s a good thing!”

“WHAT?!”

“It hits my G-Spot”

I think this was the point in the conversation where I just stared at her blankly. Oh, the elusive G-Spot. As an avid teenage reader of Cosmo, I knew that the G-Spot existed however, it would be several years before I experienced the OH-MY-WOW factor associated with that special happy place.

My big G-moment happened when I was 21. I had just started seeing a guy my girlfriends later dubbed “The Magic Tongue” because of his fondness for performing oral sex. One night, while he was going down on me, he inserted one of his fingers and EUREKA he located the buried treasure. Suddenly, it was like I was in a whole new world. It was kind of like that scene in Aladdin, except my ex luckily didn’t have a thing for wearing white harem pant suits.

I was having my very own magic carpet ride. Birds were flying. Horses were running. Pyramids were visable in the distance. Peabo Bryson was singing “WHOAWHOAWHOA!” and Regina Belle was harmonizing “OHHH OHH OHHH”. This guy was a terrible boyfriend however, his ability to take me on magic carpet rides at the touch of a finger is probably one of the reasons I kept him around as long as I did.

When Eden Fantasys said they were planning on sending me my very own Siena Symphony G-Spot vibrator, I was excited and showed my friend a photo of the toy.

Friend: “It looks like a giant finger”

Me: “Exactly!”

The Siena Symphony by Mantric is a G-Spot vibrator made of food grade, silky, silicone. The toy is 100% body safe, hypo-allergenic, phthalates free and waterproof (hello bath & shower fun!). It has 4 different speeds (Escalating, Pulsating, Rollercoaster & Vibrating). The only thing that’s slightly awkward about the design of the toy is that it takes 4 AAA batteries which means I’m either going to have to make more awkward trips to the convenience store or a trip to Costco in the near future.

I think a lot of people might be initially put off by this toy because it has a really pronounced curve. However, it’s Siena’s dramatic curves that worked really well for me. I find that a lot of G-Spot vibrators just don’t quite reach my spot. I either need a lot of control like the Lelo Ella or a sharp curve like the Siena to really do the trick. Siena is curved like a finger…a giant, purple finger.

Did I mention the Siena Symphony is big? Because it is. At 8 1/2 inches, this toy looks massive. Keep in mind that only 4 inches is actually insertable however, the toy also has a hefty girth. I really enjoyed the larger size but, some people may find this a drawback. Regardless, I recommend using some lube.

Siena’s motor is fairly quiet and I’d say the strength of the vibrations are “medium”. My only actual complaint about this toy is that the clitoral nub is located in completely the wrong spot for my body which meant no clitoral stimulation for me. The vibrations might have been enough to get me off however, I got impatient and finished my magic carpet ride with the help of another toy. Although I enjoyed the experience, it would have been nice not to have to double team myself.

Who would enjoy this toy:

– Intermediate toy users looking for something different, in particular a really curved toy for the G-Spot

-Individuals looking to find their G-Spot

– Couples (I think this toy would be a lot of fun during foreplay or in conjunction with oral sex)

-Fans of large penises.

What do you guys think? What sex toys are you interested in seeing reviewed? Have a question but are feeling shy?! Email me at skinnydipblog AT gmail.com

{The Siena Symphony was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest assessment of the product}

I feel like my last few posts have been very “touchy, feely, let’s all go watch Oprah, hold hands and sing kumbaya” Writing about my feeeelings has left me craving a bit of snarky commentary. What better way to get the ball rolling than with another installment of When Sex Toys Go Hilariously Wrong?

If you think all of the weird sex toys are products designed for women, think again. From products that promise to be the best blowjob machines in the world to sex toys that are reminiscent of McDonald’s characters, it’s clear make some pretty bizarre stuff for men too. Here are some of my top pics of sex products for the gents:

BOYS WILL BE BOYS..

1. The Hand-Job Turbo Stroker: This product definitely puts the “hands” back in “hand-job”. The Turbo Stroker promises to deliver “life-like stroking action” with “plastic hands that stroke you up and down”….because every man fantasizes about having his junk stroked by tiny plastic doll hands. The fact the manicure matches the canister is no mistake people! I think what’s really creepy about this toy (besides the glaringly obvious) is that it says it includes a “realistic vagina opening” at the top of the shaft. Take a look at the photos. No really, check them out. I’m not exactly a vagina expert however, I’m guessing that neither are the manufacturers of this toy. FYI. THAT’S NOT WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE.

2. Carmen’s Voluptuous Lips Blow Job Imitator: A few months ago, my friend Lindsay was over at my house hanging out and drinking wine. Somehow we ended up looking at sex toys online. The following conversation happened as soon as we stumbled upon Carmen’s Voluptuous Lips:

“What is that?”
“It’s a blow-job imitator”
“Why is it frowning? It looks sad”
“It does! I also don’t understand why it’s purple? It kind of reminds me of something else”
“It kind of reminds me of this guy”
“It’s Grimace’s girlfriend”
“Totally”
“Grimace’s girlfriend…why you so sad?”
“I’m sure it has something to do with the Hamburgler”

3. The Cobra Libre Hands Free Masturbator: This is the latest toy for men from Fun Factory. If you’re not familiar with Fun Factory, they are known for their high quality and body safe line of sex toys. The Cobra Libre is a Hands Free Masturbator for men. You stick your penis in the open end and then you sit back and relax as the toy vibrates & pulsates. I’m sure this toy is fantastic however, I can’t shake the feeling that it also reminds me of something else…
Oh right! My Hoover S1361. Boy, that thing is good on carpets.

4. The Aria Cock Pleaser: Aria is a blow-job imitator that has a “vibrating and rotating tongue” designed to “stimulate your love rod” (their words, not mine). Why does this toy weird me out? Five simple words: IT. HAS. A. NOSE. WHY?

5. The Sukit Draft by Fleshlight. I consider this product today’s piece de resistance. I imagine somewhere, at some point the following conversation occurred between an executive and an industrial designer:

“What are two things men enjoy?”
“Easy: beer and getting head”
“Let’s combine both of those into one product!”

“Ok, but we need a theme”
“I have really fond memories of that weekend I spent on R&R in Cam Rahn Bay in ’67. I think we need to give the product an Asian twist.”
“Dude, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was born in the 80’s. The closest I’ve come to ‘Nam is that time I watched Apocalypse Now while totally baked on pot brownies”
“Fine. Just do your best…and make it discrete!”

And thus, the Sukit Draft aka, “Blow Job in a Can” was born.

Sure, this product is “discrete” until your buddy comes over, decides to grab a cold one and gets a very unpleasant warm surprise. If I really wanted to get into what I find wrong about this product (besides, once again…the glaringly obvious) I could re-hash for you one of my 4th year Anthropology lectures on the negative cultural impact of Orientalism however, instead I will quote Wayne and Garth: “It really SUKS!”

SOMETHING YOU BOTH CAN ENJOY…

6. Underwear Built for Two: the box says “Twice the Fun!” , Skinny Dip says “253646768797979769569 times the Awkward”

LASTLY…

7. 18 Again Vaginal Shrink Cream: The name really says it all. I don’t know about you but, I’m pretty sure my vagina does not want to be 18 again. I don’t remember my vagina being particularly satisfied at that age. I was still sleeping with guys who’d barely mastered missionary and thought making love meant pounding away on a girl like an out of control energizer bunny. It wasn’t exactly what I’d consider a golden era. So, this cream just makes me scratch my head more than anything else. How exactly does it work? How does the cream know when its tight enough?! I just imagine somewhere a vagina is crying out: “NOOOOO THE WALLS ARE CLOSING INNNNNNNNN. MAKE IT STOP!”

Even more bizarre, you can purchase this cream from Amazon. It’s great to know that if I ever decide I want to live out the nightmare I described above (not likely) I can purchase this product in the same shopping basket as the latest Glee box set and the complete works of David Sedaris. Now, that’s what you call modern convenience.

Maybe I am totally missing the point but do people actually use these products? Do my male friends secretly enjoy sticking their penises inside something that looks like a vacume cleaner? I don’t think I really need to know the answers however, I am going to think twice next time I grab a beer from their fridge.

Have you guys seen anything weird and wonderful lately? Please share!

My best friend and I always joke about our differing taste in men. She’s always liked the guys who were good at gym class (jocks) where I have always been more attracted to the guys who were smoking and setting stuff on fire when they should have been in gym class. As a kid I would watch re-runs of Happy Days and would reenact elaborate song & dance sequences from Grease and Westside Story. As a teen when most of my friends were hanging up posters of dimpled nice guys like Scott Wolf, I found myself gravitating more towards the likes of James Dean and Johnny Depp. If you want my lady parts to start tingling, give me a social outcast in a leather jacket that’s well-prepared for a knife fight. So, when I found out there was a vibrator named “Fonzie” (named after one of the most famous leather clad bad-asses around) I knew I had to try it. After all, the Fonz was always popular with the ladies.

The Fonzie G-spot and Clitoral vibrator is a dual stimulation toy from Feelztoys. This little purple guy is made of 100% of silicone – a body safe material that has the soft and velvety feel of skin. It is hypoallergenic and Phthalates free. Fonzie’s shaft is curved to help stimulate your G-Spot and also includes a little nubby bit for clitoral stimulation. The toy has seven different vibration settings that you can easily cycle through to experience different sensations. If you want to take this toy into the bath or shower you can because it’s completely waterproof! At approximately 5 1/2 inches long, Fonzie is a smaller sized (read: non-intimidating) toy that actually packs a lot of punch.

Fonzie took a little bit of getting used to however, once I did, I’ve really enjoyed using this toy. The important thing to understand about this toy is that if you are looking for a Rabbit Vibrator (dual stimulation toy that you can use inside and out) this probably isn’t the toy for you. Fonzie is not a classic Rabbit vibrator.However, if you want a good G-Spot vibrator, with a little bit extra, you will probably like what Fonzie has to offer.

I think we’ve all been in the situation where you’re in bed with someone for the first time and they’re totally hot, you’re turned on but yet somehow the sex just. isn’t. working. It’s like a big tangle of awkward limbs and even though you’re shifting your hips, moving your legs, trying to find a position that works, it just feels like maybe your bodies just don’t line up properly. This is kind of what my first experience using Fonzie was like. I think what threw me off was that the nubby bit that’s meant to stimulate your clit totally didn’t line up with mine. When I was finally able to get it to work for me, the clitoral vibrations weren’t really that strong. Unlike typical Rabbit vibrators where the clitoral stimulator usually has a motor of its own, Fonzie’s clitoral arm is attached to the shaft so you are basically just getting residual vibrations from the rest of the toy, not intense stimulation. If you need a lot of clitoral stimulation to get off, this toy might not be for you. You should instead check out something like this or like this.

The upside? As a G-Spot vibrator this toy is quite awesome. The curved shape hits all the right spots and the vibrations were strong enough to get me off several times in a row. Fonzie’s ribbed texture also feels really good. I love that you can cycle through the different vibration settings with ease – a feature I love about my Lelo Mona. Overall I was impressed with the design and quality of this toy, given it’s reasonable price point of $39.99.

Who I would recommend this toy to: This toy would be great for someone who maybe already has another vibrator but is looking to add something specifically for the G-Spot to their toy collection. It’s a great option for anyone who is looking for a vibrating alternative to the Lelo Ella but one that is more user friendly than the Candy Cane vibe. This would also be a fun toy for couples who are looking to mix things up a bit.

A Fonz FYI: This toy takes two AAA batteries (those little tiny ones that fit in your TV remote). Make sure you have some in stock. When Fonzie arrived on my doorstep, I immediately tore off all of his packaging only to realize once I was in the bedroom that I didn’t have the right kind of batteries. Before I could play with him I had to run out to the convenience store. As I was anxiously purchasing my AAA’s, the elderly Korean man who runs the place gave me a look that totally said “Honey, we know what you are up to.” Don’t do what I do. The more I spend time with Fonzie, the more I like him. My opinion has gone from: This:

to THIS: Thanks to Fonzie there have been some “Happy Days” over at chez Skinny Dip. Actually I think this accurately sums up my week of “rocking and rolling” (again & again & again) with Fonzie:

“The weekend comes, my cycle hums…ready to race to you!”

OK, now that I have officially shattered more childhood memories, which sex toys are you interested in seeing reviewed on Skinny Dip?

*The Fonzie vibrator was provided to me by Eden Fantasys free of charge in exchange for my honest assessment of the product.

When Eden Fantasy’s asked me if I would be interested in reviewing the Candy Cane G-spot vibrator, what popped into my head was: “It would be really funny if it actually looked like a Candy Cane” Then, I opened the link and voila….!

A few weeks later, the toy that looks like everyone’s favorite Christmas candy landed on my doorstep. Even though its the middle of summer, the festive packaging still got me as excited as a kid on Christmas morning.

The Specs:

The Candy Cane G-Spot vibrator by Doc Johnson is a multi-speed, waterproof, phthalates free vibrator made of Tempered Glass. Yes, you heard right. GLASS. My first thought was, “I’m supposed to put THAT…THERE?!” but, as soon as I held the toy in my hand I was less nervous. The toy has a similar sturdy feel to a Pyrex baking dish. I know that doesn’t sound very sexy but, this toy is made of food grade materials which means it’s completely safe for your girl parts and hypoallergenic – making it a great choice for people who are super sensitive.

The toy is controlled by one easy to use button, has three speeds, and takes only one AA battery. As you can see from the photo, it also has some red candy-like ribbing designed to hit certain pleasure points (I’ll explain about those in a minute!)

It retails at a very affordable $32.99.

Taking off the Wrapper:

The Candy Cane G-Spot vibrator is a very esthetically pleasing toy and I really, really wanted to like it. But, the first time I used it by myself I was a bit disappointed. The vibrations felt nice but they just weren’t strong enough to get me off. I’ve used other G-Spot vibrators before but I didn’t find that the Candy Cane did much for my G-Spot initially. The red ribbing that’s meant to increase the pleasure just felt kind of awkward and bumpy. If you are looking for a toy for solo play that has powerful vibrations and will get you off quickly, I wouldn’t recommend the Candy Cane. Instead, I would suggest something more along the lines of the True Love Honey Bunny. However, if you are super sensitive to vibrations and want something very gentle, you’d probably like what the Candy Cane has to offer.

Candy is for Sharing:

So, who WOULD enjoy this toy? COUPLES!

Woo’ed by this toy’s cute packaging, I was determined to give it a second chance. I called upon my boyfriend, who happily agreed to join in on the play session. Let’s just say- the Candy Cane vibe is much more fun with two people. I would suggest using it as a teaser during foreplay or inserting it while your partner goes down on you.

Just like you wouldn’t stuff a whole candy cane in your mouth and start to chew, this toy should be enjoyed at a leisurely pace. Don’t expect instant gratification- the more you move it around inside you, the more the pleasure actually increases. I can’t even explain exactly what the red ribbing does, except that its quite magical. After a lot of build up, I eventually just blanked out and was transported to la-la land. Sugar plum faeries were dancing and I was desperately clinging to my headboard. It was that good.

Now that I think about it, the Candy Cane G-Spot vibrator is actually a lot like Christmas. In November, the holidays still seem in the near future. Then, you notice a wreath here, a candy cane there. Whoa it’s snowing! Wait, when did the malls get so crowded?! Is that a plastic reindeer on my neighbor’s lawn? Oh god, Christmas is getting closer. Really, really close. Christmas is tomorrow! OMG, THERE ARE SO MANY PRESENTS UNDER THE TREE. PRESENTS! PRESENTS! PRESENTS EVERYWHERE! OMG, CHRISTMAS IS HERE! PRESENTS, PRESENTS EVERYWHERE! WRAPPING PAPER IS FLYING ALL OVER THE PLACE. RIBBON IS BEING PULLED. YEAH THAT’S RIGHT, RIP THAT PAPER. COME ON. RIP IT! FUCKING RIP IT! YES! YES! YES! IT’S AN IPAD! NO, ITS TIFANNY’S. ITS BOTH! ITS IPADS FOR EVERYONE! YES! YES! YES! IPAD. IPAD. IPAD. OH YES. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU. THANK YOU. breathe. exhale. After it’s all over there’s a huge mess to clean up but no one cares. Everyone is glowing and happy and then we all go to sleep.

Yes, the Candy Cane vibrator is totally like that.

To recap…

People who would enjoy the Candy Cane G-Spot vibrator:

-People who are very sensitive or have allergies & want something gentle
-Couples looking to spice up their bedroom activities with fun some sex toys.
-The toy user who already “has everything” and wants to try something totally different.
-Christmas enthusiasts.

*The Candy Cane G-Spot vibrator was provided to me by Eden Fantasys in exchange for my honest assessment of the product.

What do you guys think? What are you interested in seeing my review next?

Symphony for One: The Siena Symphony G-Spot Vibrator

When Sex Toys Go Hilariously Wrong #4

Oh, Happy Day!

Christmas "Comes" in July

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