relationships Archives - Page 7 of 8

After the big break-up in the fall and some minor romantic set-backs in January, I’m finally starting to embrace my singleness. I haven’t been truly single in close to 7 years and even before that I was always dating some guy or another. Right now I’m working on getting to know myself better and trying to figure out what being single means to me. I’ve also been reflecting back on my past relationships, owning up to what failed and making a solid blue-print for what I want in the future (when I’m ready to date that is) I’m done with crying and have moved on to learning & reflecting.

This is why I initially gravitated to Eleni Zoe’s blog Hope Dies Last. If you haven’t checked out her blog, you’re missing out. Eleni writes about life, love and self-discovery with such honesty, clarity and vulnerability that I often catch myself saying “Oh my god, YES. I feel what she’s writing about. I’ve been there” while reading her posts. I love blogs that get inside my head like that.

{Eleni. Isn’t she lovely?}

Eleni is a total rockstar and has written a a book, Hope Dies Last: Lessons in Love. The book includes stories collected from some of her most powerful blog posts, organised into a narrative that will remind you of the best (and worst) parts of dating.

About the book:

“I wanted intimacy in capslock but I got it in parentheses”

Hope Dies Last is the true story of twenty-something Eleni Zoe’s pursuit of love, a boy who will sit still with her for a while and the perfect mantra. As a self-confessed perpetual singleton, she shares her tragicomic stories as if she’s whispering her heart out to you over a girly dinner. From first kisses and what sex is really like to bruised egos and broken hearts, Eleni asks the questions we each have on our quest for love. The difference is, she’s also got some answers.

The exciting news?! Because we could all use a little bit more hope in our lives, I’m giving away a SIGNED copy of the book to one of you!

To win a copy of Hope Dies Last: Lessons in Love here’s what you need to do:

Simply comment on this entry & let me know why you’d like to read the book.

Additional entries will be given for the following:

-Following me on Twitter.

-Following Skinny Dip on Facebook

-Each time you tweet “Giveaway alert! @by_simone is giving away a SIGNED copy of @elenizoe ‘s Hope Dies Last: http://su.pr/3TAfsx”

*Make sure you include in your comment some way of getting hold of you (ie. complete the email field or leave your twitter/blog address). Also make sure you mention in your comment if you’ve done any of the additional things above.

The giveaway is open to everyone regardless of where you live in the world. The giveaway runs from today until February 3rd. I’ll select a winner at random on the 4th.

Good Luck! xo

This post is sponsored by Break it Off — a Canadian Cancer Society campaign designed to help young Canadians end their relationship with smoking for good.

Today I’m going to talk about something I am passionate about: quitting smoking.

“But Simone, I thought this blog was supposed to be about sex, dating, relationships and your obsession with shoes & overpriced hand bags?!”

Smoking and dating are integrally connected – at least for me. Three of my “big loves” have been smokers. Having to watch the person you love slowly kill themselves by smoking (while harming your health in the process) is one one of the most painful and frustrating things to have to endure.

Besides, there’s nothing sexy about kissing someone who has been smoking. The taste of cigarettes is now a huge libido killer for me. If you smoke, we’re not getting it on.

This is why I thought the Break it Off Campaign was ingenious because they have likened quitting smoking to breaking up and ending a relationship. Because really, that’s what quitting smoking is all about. When you are smoking it’s like you’re dating a terrible boyfriend/girlfriend who’s super clingy. Your friends & family can’t stand them, they drain your wallet and they stink up your home & clothing whenever they come over. Oh yeah- and they secretly want to kill you. You wouldn’t stand for this kind of treatment from a partner! Why are you accepting it from cigarettes?! You’re worth more than that.

When you are going through any kind of break-up it helps to have support. This is why the Break It Off campaign has come up with some very helpful tools to help you kick cigarettes to the curb for good. Those of you who are interested in saying “Adios” to cigarettes can start by visiting the Break It Off website where you’ll find break-up methods from an unbiased source. Smokers can also upload their phone number to have a Quit Coach contact them. Quit coaches are specially trained counselors available to help you through the break-up process.

The website is divided up into different break-up stages such as “Get it over with”, “Stay Split Up” and “Move on with Life” and is packed full of information on how to survive your break-up with smoking.

If you are ready to have “The Talk” there is a section where you can upload a video of you breaking it off with smoking (something you can do even if you don’t smoke but like me, want to end your relationship with smoking) Quitting smoking can be a lonely experience. By sharing break-up videos we can all motivate each other. I’m actually considering making my own video (if I can get over my fear of my web cam) and I encourage you to do the same!

Because no relationship or break-up is really “official” these days until it’s on Facebook, you can change your relationship status with smoking by going to the Break it off on Facebook App that can be accessed via the website.

There is also a smartphone app that you can download for iPhone and Android. The app includes a list of typical “triggers” for smoking and tips on how to overcome them. It also provides the option of calling a Quit Coach.

Feeling jittery and like you can’t relax? The app gives you some tips on how to mitigate this & directs you to a free yoga video! (Can we just take a moment to acknowledge how awesome this is? I wish I had an app that showed me yoga videos whenever I was feeling stressed!)

The app also shows your “break-up timeline” and allows you to track your wins, cravings & slip ups.

For all the smokers out there I hope you join us in “the world’s biggest break-up” and tell cigarettes “It’s not me. It’s you.”

Because not smoking is sexy.

xox

Following the big break-up this fall, my romantic interactions with the opposite sex have not proven to be successful. This post is just a small fraction of the whole story. There’s lots more. Too much to share on the blog at this point. I prefer to air my dirty laundry only once it has been hung out to dry for a long time and is considered old news. Long story short, on Monday night I had my heart stomped on. That’s all I’m going to say right now. I know that whatever I write at this point is probably going to be tinged with anger. I don’t want to put something up here that I’ll regret later. I prefer to write about matters of the heart once I’ve had time to reflect.

If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, you know that I am no stranger to romantic disappointment. It’s just that with everything that’s happened over the past few months, I’m emotionally exhausted.

Monday should have been the happiest of days – it was Bloggers in Sin City registration day! Remember that amazing event that I went to last year that I couldn’t stop blogging about?! Yes, THAT. I was super psyched to sign up this year but then over the weekend my excitement started to wane. My anxiety kicked into overdrive (making me feel sluggish yet wired at the same time) and I got a terrible headache that wouldn’t leave me alone no matter how many Advils I popped. My body always knows when something is up. It just does.

I started to wonder whether going to Vegas again was a good idea. I told myself “Should I really be doing this now? Maybe I should just save the money? Didn’t I just write a post about personal finances?!” Even on Monday morning, while I was sitting at my computer, head pounding, waiting for registration to open, I was on the fence. Is this really a good idea? But you know what?! I’m so, so glad I signed up again.

There is something slightly magical about Bloggers in Sin City. After the disappointment on Monday night, I was huddled on my bed, wrapped in a blanket and feeling pretty fucking hurt. One of the only things that made me feel better was when I decided to go on the BiSC website and read through all the profiles and tweets from the other attendees. I said to myself:

“How I feel right now fucking sucks…but I’m going to Vegas. In a few months I’ll be with my tribe of crazy, glittery, hilarious, wonderful bloggers”

I woke up yesterday morning and everything looked different – literally – I looked out my bedroom window and saw my Mom’s backyard which is full of bamboo and palm plants, dusted in a thick layer of snow (a West Coast rarity). I took a deep breath and finally started to process something I hadn’t been able to wrap my head around until that moment:

I am single.

There is nothing or no one holding me back from doing whatever I want from this point forward. There is so much I want to do….

Travel to Latin America. Travel to Asia. Drink sangria in Barcelona. Live in New York and LA. Travel the world and write articles from every corner of the globe. Write a book. Be perfectly happy being roaming gypsy for awhile sans any kind of attachments.

I called my best friend yesterday morning to let her know I was feeling better. I told her “I feel like I have my whole life ahead of me”Her reply: “You always did Simone”

& I’m starting by going to Vegas.

(PS. If you too are suffering from Wanderlust, check out my post I wrote about Toronto over at my friend Abby’s fabulous travel blog The Jungle Princess.)

Thank you to Astroglide and Single Edition for sponsoring this post. All opinions are my own.

My view on lube has changed over the years. When I was younger and having a lot of awkward sex, I’d often reach for the lube to help make the process smoother ie. when the guy was larger than normal, I wasn’t turned on enough* or when I was no longer really enjoying myself because my partner was pounding away on me like a jack rabbit on meth. Clearly, these are bigger issues that probably could have been solved with a bit of communication but I was young and didn’t know any better. In my youthful ignorance I saw lube as a utilitarian product used to make sex that wasn’t really working “work”

(*never a good reason to use lube, ever. Actually, if you’re not turned on you probably shouldn’t be having sex in the first place but that is a whole other blog post)

As I got older, became more comfortable with myself, and the sex got better, I decided I no longer “needed” lube. It wasn’t until I was in a stable relationship and started experimenting with sex again while writing this blog that I realized lube isn’t about necessity…it’s about FUN! Sex with lube can make something that’s already good even better by enhancing your intimate play.

You also don’t need to be in a steady relationship to enjoy the benefits of lube in the bedroom. Single ladies can have fun with lube too! I recommend trying some lube next time you have shower sex – it seriously makes the whole thing much easier so you can just relax and enjoy the experience while you cling to that shower rod for dear life. Plus, having a well stocked collection of condoms and lube on hand, makes you one bad-ass chick. Any guy who doesn’t agree should be kicked out of your bedroom and to the curb (you can tell him Skinny Dip told you so.)

You can also use lube for one of my favorite uses: TOYS! If you haven’t tried using your sex toys with lube, you are seriously missing out. It just makes. everything. better.

Astroglide is a leading brand recommended by Doctors (OB/Gyns, GP’s and other specialty practices) and was actually the first lube I ever tried because it was available at my local drugstore. Astroglide has expanded their product line since the days when I first tried it to include more options:

Astroglide original: Astroglide Original feels the most like the body’s own natural lubrication and is designed to make sex better. You can use it in the bedroom, in the shower, or take the fun outdoors -it’s really up to how creative you want to get!

Astroglide X Premium Silicone: This is the lube that will allow you to totally roll like the female Notorious B.I.G – you know, “watch a movie in the jacuzzi, smoke L’s while you……” well, you get the rest. This lube is great for making water play extra special (shower sex! pool sex! Jacuzzi sex! Ocean sex! – why not?) and is made with ingredients that act as natural skin conditioners. Although this lube is awesome for H2O activities, don’t use it with your silicone toys. Silicone and silicone don’t play well together. Instead, choose Astroglide Original to use with your silicone playmates.

Astroglide Natural: I’m really sensitive so I like to keep things as natural as possible. I was happy to see that there is now Astroglide Natural which is made with botanical ingredients like Aloe, Chamomile Flower Extract, Vitamins C&E and free of Glycerin, Parabens & Alcohol. If you are sensitive as well, you might find this one works best for you too.

If this was an episode of Oprah, this would now be the moment where I say:

“Look under your chairs!”

If you’ve never personal lubricant before you now have no excuse! As part of their “Wetter is Better: Single Ladies Love Lube too” campaign, Astroglide is giving away free samples to all of my readers. You just have to click on this link and they will send you your very own sample of Astroglide.

Yay, free lube for all!

I saw a post like this on Teacher Girl Blogs and loved the idea. 2011 was full of so many twists and turns that I thought highlighting some of my favorite posts would be a fun & useful way of re-capping everything that has happened. Here we go!

January: 2011 got off to a rough start with me bawling in front of the TV while watching Teen Wolf with my Mom on New Years Eve. As low as I felt at that moment, my crappy NYE lead to some much needed self reflection and one of my favorite blog posts of the year. After 7 long years apart, I reconnected with my good friend Chris and we had a fun, vodka fueled night on the town. I wrote about the importance of feeling sexy and I signed up for Bloggers in Sin City – an event that later would turn out to be one of the highlights of the year.

February: I got food poisoning and my blog temporarily crashed. Despite those set backs, this was still a good writing month for me. I came to the conclusion that one of the best parts of being 30 is being able to say “NO” to stuff without feeling guilty. I re-read the book Wifey by Judy Blume and reflected on how I learned about sex. I put my home decorating skills to test and I created the perfect boudoir/dressing area in my bedroom.

March: After receiving a Facebook friend request from an ex, I came to the conclusion that broken hearts are sometimes a good thing (especially when they save you from dating a dude who wears mandals). I shared my story about coming out as a blogger. This month I started two new recurring features: Things I would Tell my 20-Year Old Self (where I give advice to my younger self) and When Sex Toys Go Hilariously Wrong (where I introduced the world to the “tiny neon pink penis”)

April: I left my job at the anonymous fancy Canadian business school and attended Toronto Fashion Week to celebrate. I worked with WIND mobile to promote the movie Textuality. I learned that there are only six degrees of separation between me and Kevin Bacon (I KNOW right?) I attended the red carpet the premiere of Textuality and I met Jason Lewis (Hollywood’s most leathery man under 50) Although my photo opp with him was comically botched, it still ranks as one of my “coolest moments as a blogger” thus far.

May: I started what I thought was my “dream job” – working as a Communication Manager for my alma mater. My shoe collection was featured on my friend Cristina’s shoe blog and I wrote about creepy animal shaped sex toys. I ended May with a bang by flying to Vegas to attend Bloggers in Sin City where I met tons of awesome people, drank booze out a guitar and realized that I’m becoming the person I was always wanted to be. It was an amazing, magical, glitter filled weekend.

June: Still on a high from Vegas, I created a Las Vegas Survival Guide, learned important life lessons from the cast of Beverly Hills 90210 and discovered that my razor looks like a penis. June was also the month I started reviewing sex toys and kicked things off with a review of my first rabbit vibrator.

July: When my “dream job” turned into a living nightmare, I looked to my favorite female TV characters for inspiration. Even though things were rough at work, I spent a lovely night filled with champagne, chocolates and books at the launch for “The Single Girl’s To-Do List” where I met the author Lindsey Kelk. I reconnected with my friend also named Lindsay (who would later become my room mate) and wrote one of my favorite posts ever.

August: With things settled down a bit at work, I was actually able to enjoy the rest of the summer in Toronto. My friend Ellen came to visit Toronto and there were lots of weekends spent outside at the beach or the pool. My blog turned two in August and started a series of Flashback posts to celebrate. I also wrote about how hairdressers are like boyfriends. At the end of the month I left my job at the university and decided to try freelancing full-time.

September: I turned 31 on September 11th! I wrote about why I don’t like the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) and I remembered 9/11. I continued writing the Flashback posts and talked about letting go of your 20’s.

October: I like to think of October as my “lost month” The blog was offline for most of the month due to technical issues. In retrospect, this was probably for the best because most of the stuff that happened this month was sad. I broke up with my long time boyfriend of 6 years and moved out of our house into a new apartment. I was mostly running on fumes but still somehow I managed to film a reality show and speak at a conference. I’m so glad I decided to do both of these things because they kept me from completely falling apart and losing my mind.

November: The blog came back! I launched a new design and made the decision to come home to BC for awhile to spend time with my family. I discovered that even when things feel like they are falling apart at the seams, the universe will give you exactly what you need. This was also the month I started working with Ohhh Canada – a partnership I’m really excited about!

December: It’s been a fun and busy month of working on myself and spending time with friends & family. I also reignited my Muppet fandom and came to the startling realization that my hoo-ha has really bad taste in music. The highlight of the month was going to see Prince with my Mom – one of the best concerts I’ve ever seen & favorite moments of 2011.

Last year I spent the turn of the New Year feeling sad, worn down and broken. The only resolution I made was “I don’t want to feel that way again” when 2012 rolls around (sounds kind of like a Red Hot Chili Peppers song doesn’t it?) and I don’t…at least not at this moment. Although everything still feels uncertain, I feel at peace and optimistic, looking forward to all the surprises that await in 2012. This year I’ll be ringing in the New Year my favorite way: All dressed up, with my best friend by my side and a cocktail in my hand.

I have a dress (a black vintage 1960’s cocktail dress suitable for Joan Holloway). I tried to resist but at the last minuted decided to buy the perfect pair of shoes to match (a pair of sky-high BCBG pumps) – proof that as much as everything changes, some things never do.

Happy New Year Lovelies!

I wish you all a fabulous 2012. As always, thanks for reading xox

Hope Dies Last Giveaway

Break it Off with Smoking. So I Don’t Have to Break it Off with You.

Fuck Broken Hearts. I’m Going to Vegas.

Here’s to a Wetter & Better 2012

Up, Down, Turn Around. 2011: A Year in Posts