Why You Should Buy a Woman Flowers & How to Do it Properly

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If you check out my Pinterest or Instagram, it’s pretty obvious that I’m kind of obsessed with flowers – especially now that so many of them are in bloom around here! When it comes to me & flowers, the brighter, the more vivid, the better.

Over the years I’ve learned exactly what kinds of flowers I do and don’t like – especially when it comes to romance. I love peonies, camellias, orchids and anything bright & tropical. I despise carnations and daisies have never been my thing. I love roses, but prefer the brightly coloured ones (deep red roses have always seemed kind of morbid to me.) I used to think it would be super romantic if a guy scattered rose petals on my bed, however the two times someone has done this for me I haven’t enjoyed either experience because it just seemed contrived and forced (hence, my aversion to rose petals.) However, pick me a single camellia while we’re out for an evening walk and I’m yours.

Although I have my preferences when it comes to flowers, I still believe any kind of flower is better than no flower. Here’s a few reasons why I think we should all send and receive more flowers in general.

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Seriously though, I don’t know why people don’t send more flowers. It’s such an easy way to make your loved one feel special and thought of. Any guy who takes the initiative to bring me flowers – even if they’re wild ones he’s picked himself – wins major points. Because, #ROMANCE.

Since Easter and Mother’s Day are coming up, I thought I would consult with Ola Balas, owner of EuroFlowers – one of my favourite florists located in Mississauga, Ontario. Here are a few of her flower giving tips. I’ve also piped in with a few of mine!

FLOWERS 2As you have probably surmised, flowers can be a very personal thing. Although I’m always happy when I receive any kind of flowers, it’s always nice when you can tell that the person took the time to choose something that suits me. For example, I think it’s pretty obvious from my blog that I love bold, bright colours like fuchsia and pink, and all things tropical. My personal style is classic with a bit of edge. Even if you don’t know what kind of flowers she likes, if you have a general idea of her favourite colours or her personal style, that’s always a good place to start. Also keep in mind that your florist is there to help!

FLOWERS 3If you don’t want disappointing flowers, Balas suggests sticking with a local florist. As she explains, the trick is to avoid using a large, discount, flower service like 1-800-flowers and the like.  “These flowers come in a box, dry, with a vase and a set of instructions. The recipient has to set it up herself. It’s awkward and cheap, and the flowers themselves look like they’ve been through a war. Never do this” says Balas. By cutting out the middle man and going directly to a local florist like EuroFlowers, you not only get to support a small business in your community, you’re also more likely to get an arrangement that’s high quality, unique and artful – in other words, you’re going to get a lot more bang for your buck.

FLOWERS 4Still not sure what kind of flowers to send the object of your affection? Fear not, that’s what your florist is there for! As Balas advises, if you can’t find something perfect on the website, don’t hesitate to call the store directly. As she explains, “always offer a few guidelines but let them use their judgment and expertise. “Something really spectacular”, “something different and edgy”, “romantic but not roses” “as unique and beautiful as she is” and trust that your florist will put together something awesome based on the budget you’ve provided and what’s in stock. As Balas likes to remind us, “florists are artists! Let them show off their talent!”

PS. If you think you might need a vase or container of sorts, make sure you let your florist know. Nothing kills the romance like a gorgeous bouquet that ends up slowly dying on her desk. 

FLOWERS 5And by personalized message, I don’t mean writing something like “Nice boobs, lol” (true story, unfortunately.) However, a sweet, thoughtful, personalized message goes a long way. As Balas explains, “Do NOT just have them add your name to the card. Say something. Imagine the state she’s going to be in when she opens the card after receiving the flowers–take advantage of it.” Also, it  never hurts to include a funny inside joke that only she’ll get. Keep it short and sweet. Be cool. Be appropriate. You’ve got this! 

FLOWERS 6When is a good time to send flowers? Any time! Although flowers are always nice on birthdays, Valentine’s Day and other special holidays or anniversaries, you don’t need it to be a special day to send flowers. Want to make a memorable impression? Send your special person flowers during the day if you know you’re going to see them that night. I asked a couple of my girlfriends what their most memorable flower experience said and unsurprisingly, most of them said that it was when they received them “just because.” However, there is such a thing as overkill. As Balas reminds us, send flowers whenever “but not too often. Don’t spoil her too much!” 

Do you like sending and/or receiving flowers? 

*This post was brought to you by EuroFlowers, a Mississauga florist and flower shop that has been serving Mississauga, Oakville, Burlington and Toronto for over 20 years. All opinions are my own. Thanks for reading posts that support Skinny Dip

But, There’s Just This One Thing

I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine recently about dating in your 30’s. When she asked me about my dating life, I told her, “I feel like dating in your 30’s involves rejecting a lot of good people. I’m rejecting kind, smart, handsome men for the sole reason that I just know that they’re not right for me long-term. I mean, what is that?”

To which she replied, “I think that’s what they call progress.”

For the most part, dating in my twenties was very “exploratory.” I dated a wide variety of people. I was open to any and every new experience, and drank each one up with a straw. Although much of the same can be said about some of my dating experiences in my 30’s, when I was younger I had more time on my hands. Even if I knew someone wasn’t quite right for me, I’d date them anyways just for the story. When I had to reject someone, the signs were glaringly clear and lit up in big, neon, letters (which often I’d ignore anyways, once again for the story – or worse love.)

There's Just This One Thing: Dating in Your ThirtiesBack then, my reasons for breaking up with someone usually sounded something like, “He didn’t call me because he was in jail” or “I think I need to dump him. He keeps getting drunk and throwing up in my roommate’s car.” However, in your 30’s the impetus to reject someone is more like a whisper – the reasons often more subtle, but so much harder to ignore. 

Lately I’ve noticed a pattern in my dating life: I’ll meet someone I like, things will be going well until BAM! This one thing reveals itself – call it a fatal flaw or what-not – and it suddenly becomes abundantly clear that things won’t work out. It’s like that Amerie song, except the “one thing” that’s got you “tripping” is BAD.

For example, Donald was perfect on paper but I just wasn’t attracted to him, Donny was a dreamboat but unreliable, Young Guy didn’t want a girlfriend and The European already had one – and Fitness Guy, well, I don’t think there was ever any room for me in his life. With the exception of maybe Fitness Guy, none of these guys were bad dudes.

There was just this one thing….

There's Just This One Thing: Dating in Your Thirties

There's Just This One Thing: Dating in Your ThirtiesProbably the best example of this phenomenon would a person we’ll call Vancouver Guy.

Vancouver Guy and I met a few years ago through mutual friends and have since stayed in touch online. We met up for dinner this past summer when I was in Vancouver for a work function. I’ve always found Vancouver Guy cute, however all I was expecting from our night out was to get to know each other better as friends over some really good Chinese food – which is pretty much exactly what happened.

As we sat across from each other, chowing down on delicious handmade dumplings and noodles and discussing everything from startups to dating, I was overcome with how much I really enjoyed Vancouver Guy’s company. He was smart, driven, thoughtful and shared my passion for culinary adventures. It was an unusually warm, mid-summer night. Not wanting the evening to end, I suggested we go grab a drink at a local rooftop bar.

There's Just This One Thing: Dating in Your Thirties

There's Just This One Thing: Dating in Your ThirtiesBy the time Vancouver Guy walked me back to where I was staying, I knew that I wanted something to happen. However, before I had a chance to make a move, he grabbed me and kissed me. It was a good kiss. Very, very good.

The kiss wasn’t an anomaly. Half an hour later, we were back at his nearby apartment frantically making out on his couch. It was clear that we had undeniable chemistry.

When I went back to the island, we stayed in touch. Soon we were talking all day, everyday via text or the phone. Vancouver Guy made sure to text me every morning to wish me “good morning” and every night before I went to wish we “good night.” After things had ended in total radio silence with Young Guy, this man was refreshingly attentive. Through our correspondence I learned that we shared similar values, as well as a life-long fondness for the Muppets. When my phone would ping with a text from him, I remember thinking excitedly, “This. Could. Be. Something.” 

There's Just This One Thing: Dating in Your Thirties

There's Just This One Thing: Dating in Your ThirtiesHowever, then life happened (as it does.) I went on a trip to visit my family. While staying with my relatives, I noticed my text correspondence with Vancouver Guy was cutting into family time, so I pulled back a bit. Soon after, I got really sick with bronchitis and my asthma kicked into high gear. My daily focus became work and literally, breathing. During this time, Vancouver Guy’s bi-hourly texts, became difficult to keep up with. However, when I pulled back, it seemed like he just tried harder.

When I was well enough to catch up with friends, and Vancouver Guy knew I’d be out for the evening, he’d text me trying to initiate conversation. Sometimes he’d send me messages that said stuff like “Don’t drink too much, Missy!” (ugh) or worse, inappropriate sexts when he knew I was going to be out with my girlfriends. When I wouldn’t reply to him within a few hours, he’d send a “Did you forget about me??” message accompanied with an emoticon of a happy face bawling it’s eyes out. (Which, I might add isn’t exactly a turn on – especially from a man in his mid-thirties.)

There's Just This One Thing: Dating in Your Thirties

 

There's Just This One Thing: Dating in Your ThirtiesLong story short, what had once seemed sweet and romantic, started to feel annoying and smothering. I like attentive guys, but I also need some breathing room. We weren’t even in the same city and yet, I felt completely cornered.

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A Year of Lust, Life Lessons & Labours of Love

2014- year in reviewAt the beginning of 2014, I decided that my theme for the year would be “GO ALL IN”: with my work, but also with my heart. My intention was to live life without holding myself back or sitting on the sidelines. I think I definitely lived up to this theme because 2014 was a year full of lots of hard work, romantic adventures and consequently, some meaningful life lessons.

I kicked off January with what would be one of my favourite memories of 2014. I took my fourth trip to Vegas in three years and finally had a chance to meet my long time internet friend and colleague Liz. I also tried my hand at online dating again and discovered that Ok Cupid is a totally different scene than Plenty of Fish (Spoiler alert: more beards and less actual fish = proof that maybe I’m not Hipster Kryptonite as I once suspected.)

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, February is peak season for sex and relationship bloggers like myself. I spent my Valentines Day weekend with my best friend and her fiancé hanging out in Vancouver. I also wrote one of my most popular posts ever about the 20 guys you’ll meet online dating in Victoria. The article went viral in my town, which lead to being interviewed by the CBC and a series of radio appearances on Kool FM. It’s funny, because so many people saw the article that whenever it comes up, people are like, “that was you?” I’ve since become known at parties as “that girl that wrote that thing about dating that everyone read.”

In March I shared the 10 things I learned from How I Met Your Mother, waxed poetic about some of my favourite female centric books and reviewed some very sexy pink lingerie. While continuing to date, I shared the 18 photos that you should remove from your online profile immediately – a favourite post of mine that was featured in Business Insider.

April was an introspective month for me. I shared with you guys why I can’t have sex in my own bedroom and other things that I have learned about love, sex and dating at 33. I reviewed more pink lingerie and had the Interns help me with my critique of Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines video (another favourite post from 2014)

May was National Masturbation Month, so I devoted the entire month of posts to reviewing sex toys. Writing this many reviews back to back made me realize that I was suffering from sex-blogger burnout and needed to scale back on the products I showcase on the blog in order to focus on other writing projects. May also marked the swift return and departure of Fitness Guy – an experience that reminded me that lust be damned, the right guy isn’t the one who disappears. 

One of the highlights of July was that I got a sexy, new work/living space that I totally adore. I also mused on what we can learn about “sensuality” from the 1970’s and wrote about the positive side of rejection & why chemistry is so, so important. I also started dating a younger man and learned a few things along the way.

August found me attending my best friend’s wedding, as well as taking a mini-vacation to Kelowna and Seattle. The month was a heady mix of writing and socializing…and yes, I’m writing a book.

September (my birthday month!) was absolutely gorgeous and I fully took advantage of it with this poolside bikini review. I also discussed how when it comes to dating, everyone has their hardboiled non-negotiables.  This was also the month that I took another trip to Seattle where I met up with Berrak & Kelly.

In October I decided to try eHarmony only to realize that it’s the online dating equivalent of a Jane Austen novel  ( & apparently the computer thinks that my “soulmate” is a guy who dresses up in blackface for Halloween. Shudder.) I may have struck out on eHarmony, but I was chosen as one of Vancouver’s Most Eligible Bachelorettes (wahoo!) which still seems surreal to me. I also shared a story about my fling with the sexy Russian.

In November I wrote about my affair with The European and one of the big lessons I’ve learned this year: that it’s possible to have meaningful, respectful, good sex that’s also casual, without losing your heart or your head.

Although December was a blur of writing and holiday activities, I’m happy that I finished off the year by sharing the story of what I learned from falling for Donny: that chemistry is ridiculously important, however it can’t be everything.  I got my heart knocked around a bit with that experience, but it helped me get a better picture on what I really am looking for.

When came to “going all in” this past year I learned one really important lesson: “going all in” definitely pays off, however you can’t go big in all areas of your life, all at the same time. When I went big with my writing, my social life suffered. When I threw my heart and body into my relationships, (while fun and exciting) my feelings and sense of peace often suffered. I opened my heart, worked hard and took some blows both personally & professionally, however I’m happy with how the year turned out. I rang in the New Year exactly as I hoped I would: with a great group of friends, dancing with champagne in hand to Notorious B.I.G. It doesn’t really get any better than that in my books.

I have even bigger goals I plan on accomplishing in 2015. I’ll need to keep my wits about me, so I‘ve decided instead of another year of going big in all areas of my life, I’m going to place a greater focus on balance and consistency. To make it easy for you to join me on this journey, I’ve finally broken the seal on the newsletter subscription for this blog. If you’d like to get weekly-ish updates from me designed to make your day a little bit more fun and sexy (think links to cool stuff, discount codes & other goodies), you can sign up for the newsletter here or via the opt-in banner on the righthand sidebar of the blog. I hope you’ll join me! It’s going to be an interesting ride.

What’s your theme for 2015?

Things You Will Learn From Dating a Younger Man

On July 1st you receive an email from your ex in Toronto – the one you left behind when you moved back to the West Coast – letting you know that he’s met someone and in a few months he will be a father.

The news throws you – not because you aren’t happy for him – you are (he will be a kick-ass dad) – but because this is his dream. The dream he wanted for the two of you. The dream that you couldn’t deliver on for him.

Clutching your smartphone, you break down in tears in the garden section of Capital Iron, while your Mom strokes your back and asks you what’s wrong.

You haven’t lived in Toronto in nearly three years, however you cry because in this moment it feels like the life that you used to have there really is over. Although the future is exciting and exhilarating, it’s also kind of fucking scary.

The future is happening right now.

Although you feel slightly untethered, you decide to slap on some make-up, put on that new dress and go to a Canada Day BBQ that you’ve been invited to.

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Your friends pick you up in a 1950’s mustang convertible. Disclosure is playing on the stereo. Driving along the beach as the warm air rushes past you, life feels oddly perfect.

At the BBQ is where you meet him. You notice him right away because he has what some people might call “swagger.” He’s tall and athletic looking with a strawberry blonde Macklemore haircut. Acne scars faintly dot his chin.

You hear him talking to some other people about Toronto, at which point you join in on the conversation. It turns out that he used to live there, on the same street as you – just a few houses down from the gorgeous brownstone that you used to share with your ex. What are the odds? This must be kismet.

You’re on your third hot dog of the evening. He’s eating ribs. When you notice him scrambling with his hands full to pick up another beer, you politely offer assistance.

“Would you like me to hold your bone?” you ask.

“Yes, please” he replies.

You talk some more. You laugh. He comes with your friends to watch the fireworks from a cliff overlooking the ocean.

It’s only later that you learn that he’s six years younger than you and went to junior high school with your baby sister.

A few nights later you go for drinks at a chic wine bar. He insists on ordering a nice bottle of wine to share and picking up the cheque. You’re impressed.

You laugh. You kiss. You have sex. You wake up wrapped in his sinewy tanned arms and think,

“I could get used to this”

By midsummer you’ll change your mind and you will no longer be dating. However, before that happens you’ll learn a few things along the way.

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You’ve never dated a younger guy before. After attempting to date a variety of divorcees and single dads, you’ll find this guy’s total lack of relationship baggage utterly refreshing. However, you’ll soon realize that the flip side of this is that he seems to have no serious relationship experience whatsoever. This starts to reveal itself quickly.

Dating someone younger often means that their exes are young too. When you stumble across a photo of his ex-girlfriend on Facebook, you discover that she looks like a younger, firmer, more proportional Kim Kardashian. It gets worse when he tells you that they broke up six months ago – right before her 19th birthday. Now, you know you look good for a 30-something, however when you don’t hear from him for a few days you start to wonder if maybe he finally noticed the fine creases on the corner of your eyes and promptly got freaked out.

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Things You’ll Learn About Love & Sex at 33

When it comes to love and sex, being 33 is both totally weird and awesome.

On one hand, your hormones are raging and you want to have as much sex as possible. However, after a decade of bad decisions in your 20′s you’re now way more selective about who you sleep with…well, sort of. Most days you want to have sex with everyone and no one all at all the same time.

You’ll tell yourself that marriage isn’t really on your mind, but that it would be nice to meet someone that you could actually settle down with. However, some days you’ll catch yourself saying stuff like,  “At this point I don’t even care about finding ONE, I’d be happy to meet someone who is nice and reasonably normal that I can have regular, good, sex with.”

(gorgeous photo found via Keiko Lynn)

Your Pinterest account reveals your true feelings though. Amongst boards devoted to home decor, lingerie and whimsical vintage imagery, lurks one called “Creepy Imaginary Wedding” where you pin to your hearts content all things nuptial related. For someone who is always saying she isn’t even sure whether she believes in marriage, you sure do know what you want. (FYI, you’re thinking a classic, old school Hollywood vibe, bright fuchsia flower arrangments, a modern multi-cultural menu, somewhere like the Ace Hotel in Palm Springs. It will be hip and quirky, but still very classic and you’ll wear something Reem Accra or Elie Saab -ish obviously. Your groom will look elegant and handsome and won’t be wearing wrap-around sunglasses)

You spend more time than you’d like to admit wondering what your future dates will find more off-putting: The Creepy Imaginary Wedding, your professional relationship with Joe the Intern or the fact that you write about your vagina on the internet. You decide to stop worrying about it and instead just own it. After all, someone who doesn’t accept you for who you really are isn’t worth your time.

You’ll have good sex, “Okay-ish” sex and sex that is so bad it’s comical. More often than not you’ll have sex with yourself. You’ll come to the conclusion that you can go without sex for a long time, however going without an orgasm is another story. Your collection of sex toys will grow exponentially to the point where you start to run into storage issues.

When you get the urge for actual human contact, you’ll date people.

You’ll meet a 40-something single dad, whom your attraction to defies logic. However, when you go to have sex, you’ll be reminded that some people will use ridiculous excuses to get out of using condoms. He’ll insist that instead of using a condom, you should “just trust him.” This will also remind you of something you learned in your 20’s: that anyone who uses the line “just trust me!” should absolutely not be trusted. Later you watch an episode of Portlandia and determine that this guy must liken himself to be some sort of “pull out king” – albeit, a rather unsuccessful one: he has three kids.

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