Joe the Intern Archives

It’s “Wear Your Costume to Work” day and it looks like Joe the Intern and Hammer have totally outdone the Playboy Bunny ears I haphazardly threw on this morning. I don’t have any major plans for Halloween this year, but I thought I would share with you some fun tid-bits.

If you’re a regular reader of this blog you may have noticed some sexy new additions to the layout.

EMAIL SUBSCRIPTIONS –

Due to popular request, you can now subscribe to Skinny Dip by email. I often get so busy that I forget to check in with my favourite blogs. Subscribing by email is a great way to stay in touch and ensures that you never miss a post!

BLOGLOVIN’ –

When Google Reader folded, I went on a desperate search to find an alternative RSS reader to help me enjoy all of my favourite reads in one place. I discovered Bloglovin‘ in the process and to be honest, I love it 1000% more than Google Reader. I’m a very visual person and Bloglovin’ caters to this. I love that there are photo previews for each post and when you click on the post, you’re able to read it on the actual blog, with the pretty layout the blogger intended. Bloglovin’ is super easy to use and just way prettier than Google Reader. I’m “Lovin'” it! You can follow me here.

NEWSLETTER –

I get a lot of great discount codes and other goodies from the partners I work with that I would love to pass on to you my dear readers. So, after four years of blogging I finally decided to start a newsletter option for my blog. I thought this would be a fun way to stay in touch with my readers. If you sign up I promise not spam you. You will however receive an email from me every 2-4 weeks that includes discount codes for things like lingerie and sex toys, updates about my life outside of the blog & things that I’m digging, inspirational messages and maybe even the odd photo of Joe the Intern and his buddies doing something absurd. The sign up form is on the righthand sidebar. Don’t be shy, I’d love for you to join me!

SHOPPING DISCOUNTS –

Addicted to luxury toys and romantic products? All Skinny Dip readers get 15% their purchase at Sexcuse Moi when they use the code SKINNYDIP at checkout.

Did you miss out on the Jopen Vr16 giveaway? If you’re interested in grabbing one of your own from Nitetime toys (trust me, it’s awesome), today’s the last day you can purchase the toy for 20% off using the coupon code “VanityForMe” at check out.

GIVEAWAY –

Love condoms? Hate condoms? Never tried lube? If you want to take your sex life to the next level, make sure you enter my latest giveaway to win three months worth of sexy samplers from Lucky Bloke. Also, stay tuned for a super cool (but still top-secret) collaboration with Lucky Bloke that will launch closer to the holidays.

Happy Halloween!

May your costumes be comfortable and your sugar highs epic.

xox

A couple of people have asked me what it’s like travelling with Joe the Intern. Although I brought Joe with me to Vancouver Fashion Week in March, our recent trip to Las Vegas was his real “coming out voyage.” The answer I usually give: it’s interesting.

Although I never have to wrestle Joe for leg-room or access to the arm-rest, travelling with a 12″ tall naked man isn’t without it’s share of challenges and strange looks. However, being that I’m kind of shameless to begin with, I decided to embrace the weirdness of carrying Joe in my purse & just go with it. Because, Vegas.

A blogger & her Intern.

Things only got “weird” whenever I’d try and interact with guys other than Joe. When I went to Vegas last year, I was finally at the point after the big break-up where I was ready to embrace being single and maybe even flirt a little…and that I did! To quote Caryn, “You were on a roll!” Considering I’m still living in my hometown where everyone is either a hipster or a senior citizen and meeting people the old fashioned way seems next to impossible, I was really looking forward to interacting with members of the opposite sex and getting my flirt on.

When I sat down on the plane, I looked across the aisle and spotted an attractive guy in his 30’s. We made eye-contact. I smiled. He smiled. Just when I thought things were going well I felt something fall out of my tote bag. I looked down and there was Joe, lying spread eagle on the carpeted floor of the airplane looking quite pleased with himself. The guy’s reaction looked something like this:

I quickly grabbed Joe, sat down in my seat and didn’t make eye-contact for the rest of the flight.

When a called my ex a few weeks ago to tell him about my Grandfather’s passing, we stayed on the phone for a while catching up on the recent events of each other’s lives. The conversation eventually wandered over the topic of my recent trip to Vegas & Bloggers in Sin City. That’s when I confessed,

“I think Joe is kind of a cock-blocker”

To which he responded, “I think Joe is just a BLOCKER period.”

It’s true, Joe does have a way of impeding certain social interactions and generating stares from TSA agents, but he’s a damn fine intern which is why I keep him around.

While at Bloggers in Sin City, I was telling my friend Casey about the incident on the plane. I’m a huge fan of How I Met Your Mother and can never resist a good dare. So, while lounging by the pool I made the following proposition to Casey:

“This weekend, if you successfully introduce yourself to someone as Sean Patrick Harris, aka the guy from Save the Last Dance, I’ll pick someone up with Joe”

Casey & Sean Patrick Thomas. A close match? Hardly. However, I know from 10+ years of friendship that he's pulled this off in the past.

“How are you going to do that?”

“I’m not sure, but it’s going to happen”

“Ok, deal.”

If Barney Stinson can pick up women while dressed as an old man, I can surely meet guys with a 12″ GI Joe at my side.

I was totally prepared to fulfill my end of the bargain but then Vegas happened. Way too many margaritas & lots of awesomeness later, we’d forgotten about the dare.

On Monday afternoon, Casey, Jen, Michelle and I found ourselves in the All Saints Store at the Cosmopolitan Hotel. I’d persuaded them to come join me while I ogled all the pretty things, including the notoriously handsome sales staff. At this point of the trip I’d completely given up on trying to flirt and had gotten into the habit of allowing Joe’s head to peak out of the top of my trusty Longchamp bag. I was fondling a rack of gorgeous leather jackets when a dark haired (and very cute) sales associate approached me to see how I was doing. He immediately asked,

“Who’s that little guy?”

(Slightly flustered) “Oh, that’s Joe. He’s just along for the ride.”

When I explained that Joe had been travelling with me all weekend, the sales guy said:

“Wow! That’s so cool! So, you take photos with him and everything?!”

We both laughed as I showed him photos of Joe lounging in the pool and posing in front of Caesar’s Palace. The whole time I was thinking. “Seriously? Is this is really happening?!”

I told him about Skinny Dip and he said he’d love to read my blog sometime.

“I’m Jesus” he said as he handed me his card.

I didn’t have any cards on me, so I told him to look me up on the Internerd sometime.

Still slightly stunned, I walked over to Casey and the other BiSC-uits.

“I just picked someone up, with the help of Joe. I mean I think I just did.”

It’s very possible that Casey promised this guy that he’d buy an expensive belt in exchange for asking me about Joe, but I prefer to think of it as a Vegas miracle.

The problem? Ever since we came back from our trip Joe has been telling everyone:

“Simone and I went to Vegas and found Jesus.”

Oh Joe, I have so many things to teach you.

Hey Dudes. Joe the Intern here. Although we’ve been back from Bloggers in Sin City for just over a week, we’re still trying to recover and get back to normal life at Skinny Dip headquarters. For those of you who have read Simone’s previous posts about Bloggers in Sin City, you know that it’s the most epic of all epic weekends. Amazing people! Magic Guitars! Margaritas! Epic Dance Parties! Sore Feet! It’s Simone’s favourite weekend of the year and I should know – she never stops talking about it. The other day, Simone came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder.

“Joe, I think people are sick of hearing me talk about Vegas. Plus, I’m not really sure I can do three fabulous years of #BiSC justice. You should write the BiSC re-cap post this year.”

Although I’m kind of nervous about writing MY FIRST BLOG POST EVER*, I’m honoured to be of service. Besides, Simone says she’s OK, but the other day I caught her trying to pour cereal into a coffee mug, which leads me to believe her case of Vegas brain is way worse than she’s willing to admit. When I asked her about it, she just mumbled something like, “Because Vegas. All the feelings. Tequila. Sickness. Strugglebus. Bed.” So, it’s probably a good time for me to step in.

(*SIMONE SAYS IT’S OK TO USE ALL CAPS SOMETIMES, ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT VEGAS)

Finding out I was going to Bloggers in Sin City was one of the most exciting non-danger fighting moments of my life. It was 5:30 on Tuesday morning and Simone was getting ready to head out to the airport when she said to me: “Guess what Joe?! There’s room in my carry-on. You’re coming too!” I couldn’t believe it! I was going to Bloggers in Sin City! I was going to meet all the people I had only seen on Simone’s computer screen! I started to do a happy dance around Simone’s bedroom just like I had seen her do when she registered for the event in January. As a guy who doesn’t really “do” clothes, I pack light and was able to jump into Simone’s purse just in time for her Dad to drive us to the airport.

I was kind of nervous about going to Bloggers in Sin City for a couple of reasons. First of all, I’ve heard that everything is bigger in AMERICA which, obviously is kind of a concern for me. Secondly, I’m not your typical guy. Yes, I have amazing cheekbones but I’m also a bit on the short side and am currently clothing challenged. Would the people like me?! Would I have to spend the whole weekend explaining to people the tragic story of how I lost my pants?!

When I walked into the BiSC registration suite, my palms were slicked with sweat and I felt more naked than I ever have in my life. However, when I looked around everyone was laughing, smiling and tackle hugging. I instantly felt better! Some people even knew who I was and said they were looking forward to meeting me! Some of the bloggers even wanted me to pose for photos. Yes, ME! I couldn’t believe it. Soon everyone gathered around and wrote their Twitter handles on their forearms so we’d all remember each other. They even gave me one! Bloggers in Sin City had just started and I already felt like I was part of the gang.

The next day was pool day. Given my current wardrobe situation, public swimming pools make me a bit nervous. Especially when I walked through the gates and immediately saw a sign that said “Proper Swimming Attire Required” It’s hard to find a decent swimsuit when your underwear is fused to your body. I’m glad I pushed through my fear though because pool day was actually a lot of fun.

The only thing that made me mad was when a guy named “Rocco the Sex Criminal” came up behind Simone and started grinding his man parts into her without asking. When he pinned her against the bar and forced her to dance to “Hip Hop Hooray” I balled my fists up in anger. Dude, let her go! She just wants to order a margarita! My battle instinct kicked in and I suddenly wanted to throw a million grenades at Rocco’s eyeballs. However, without any explosives at my disposal, I did the next best thing. I waited until the coast was clear, then I ran over to the Sex Criminal’s cabana and put a bunch of rocks in his shoes. Don’t tell Simone – but, when no one was looking I also peeled off a used bandaid from the bottom of a deck chair and dropped it into his beer. That should teach him!

The weekend was full of doing and seeing lots of interesting things. I went to fake Venice, fake Paris, ate my first In & Out Burger and hit up happy hour at Carlos and Charlie’s (I enjoy their reasonably priced drink specials.)

I got glamorous and had delicious cocktails at the Cosmopolitan Hotel, saw Caesar’s Palace, did shots at Gilly’s and went to see Cirque du Soleil’s “O” (a real defining moment for me. So many unitards!)

I watched Simone ride the mechanical bull at Gilly’s which was really cool except for the fact that the operator was a pervert and set the bull to the “humping setting.” Once again, I was overcome with the urge to launch grenades into someone’s eyeballs, but instead I talked myself down from the ledge. I told myself “Joe, think of what you learned in anger management class. You’re in Vegas with people who love you. Have a drink and chill” – which is exactly what I did.

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It’s been such a busy few weeks. So busy in fact that I have barely had a chance to mention that this week I’ll be attending my third Bloggers in Sin City un-conference (!!!!!) As you read this, I’m probably somewhere between Sleepy Town and Sin City (most likely camped out somewhere in LAX with my lap-top desperately trying to catch up on last minute work.) I’ve been working a lot of long, 10-12 hour days lately so this trip comes as a much needed vacation. I can’t wait to see my people, soak up the sun & create lots of new memories.

Luckily, while I’m gone for the week I have Joe the Intern looking after the daily operations of Skinny Dip. I trust he’ll do a good job. I only gave him one rule: no more gory battle stories while I’m out of office. I’ll be back to regular scheduled blogging as soon as I’ve recovered from my Vegas hangover which should be sometime after the 21st.

Have a good week lovelies! And, for those of you I’ll be seeing at #BiSC – see you soon!

xox

Because, Halloween.

On Flirting & Finding Jesus. No, Not That Jesus.

The Best Weekend of My Life

Next Stop, Sin City

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