The other day my best friend and I were browsing through Purdy’s chocolates, when she gives me this teasing look & says:
“So, Simone, in honor of Valentine’s Day are you going to buy yourself one of these giant heart shaped boxes of chocolates?”
“Yeah, if I was planning on spending the evening sitting in a dark room, watching Julia Roberts movies and gently sobbing”
FYI. In case you didn’t catch my sarcasm, this totally isn’t how I’ll be spending February 14th. Actually I don’t even have any plans and this doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I’m one of those people that doesn’t really get bummed out about Valentines Day. The only thing that bums me out is that there are people out there who do get bummed out & feel sad around this time year. I actually secretly love Valentines Day. I love seeing all my favorite colors (pink! red! brighter pink! hearts everywhere!). It’s also a good excuse to buy new sassy underwear (even if no one else is going to see it)
This year I’m sticking to my financial resolutions and won’t be making any new additions to my already bursting lingerie drawer. However, it’s still fun to fantasize about what I would buy myself for Valentine’s Day if money was no object. So, I’ve put together an imaginary wish-list (Yay! shopping with fake money!). Gents, this can also serve as a shopping guide if you need ideas for that fabulous lady in your life.
Once my best friend and I left the chocolate store and were out of earshot of children, I said “On second thought, I think I’m just going to upgrade my vibrator collection” If I was going to buy a new luxury sex toy, this bad boy would definitely be a contender. This toy is known for having very strong vibrations. If you don’t believe me, watch this video where they show the toy flapping around on a desk like it has a life of it’s own. Did you watch the video?! I’m now dying of curiosity to try this thing.
These cute undies by Booty Parlor had me at their name. I mean who doesn’t want to be a “naughty ballerina”?! It’s all very Black Swan. You know, like that scene where Natalie Portman & Mila Kunis do drugs and then go to town on each other & it’s like the hottest thing ever? Yeah, that. Plus, I think the see through back + the ruffle is cute. I was ready to buy these for myself until I read the fine print and saw that they are crotchless. I’ve never understood crotchless underwear. Wouldn’t it just be easier to wear no underwear at all? Am I missing something?
*Men, only buy crotchless underwear for women you’re actually dating & know very well. It does not make a good secret admirer gift…unless of course you want her to think you’re a sex criminal.
4. Kama Sutra Body Souffle and Honey Dust:
5. Polka Dot mesh corset:
FORGET SEX. This outfit screams out “musical theatre”. My whole purpose for owning this would be so I would have something to wear as I danced around my house re-enacting dance sequences from Moulin Rouge. Gitchi Gitchi Ya Ya Da Da!
What would you give yourself for Valentines Day if money was no object?
This post was sponsored by Eden Fantasys. I was given a gift certificate to fund my on-going obsession with lingerie and sex toys in exchange for this post. All opinions are my own because that’s just how I roll.