*Disclaimer: Unless you want to get labelled as the office pervert, this post contains some photos that may be deemed inappropriate for work.
You guys. There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a very long time. I’m hopelessly in love with the Showtime reality series Gigolos. If you haven’t seen it, Gigolos provides an “extremely rare and uncensored look into the personal and professional lives of five hot guys in Vegas who like to hang out, have fun and get girls, but in their case they get paid for it.” Yes, Gigolos is a reality show about male escorts living in Sin City and it’s so horrible, it’s actually kind of amazing. It has everything you hope and wish for from reality TV: Sex, Cat-Fights, Spray-tans, blatant prostitution. What more could you ask for? It’s OK, you’re free to judge me all you want. My love for Gigolos is a personal shame I live with everyday.
Above is the gang from season 1-2: Jimmy (the sensitive one, who is undergoing an existential crisis), Vin (the laid back, token black dude who claims he’s a feminist), Steven (the single dad who I’m pretty sure is Gay), Brace (the orange guy who claims he’s in his 40’s but I suspect is actually 85 & lying to us) and of course my favourite – Nick, the cocky inked up guy with dreams of becoming a rapper. What did I tell you? IT’S REALITY TV GOLD. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
Questionable raps aside (you can watch his video here. OMG), Nick is pretty hot and I have a serious soft spot for dark haired guys with tattoos. If you read his bucket list, it’s strangely endearing and includes things like “see The Lion King on Broadway” and “own a wolf”. Don’t we all Nick, don’t we all. Anyway, the big news is that Nick recently launched his own line of sex toys.
When California Exotics asked me if I’d be interested in reviewing something from the Nick Hawk GIGOLO line as part of their Cal Exotics Certified Sexpert Program, I couldn’t resist. The Nick Hawk GIGOLO line includes everything from vibrators, penis pumps and fuzzy handcuffs to a blow-up doll (ha!). As you may have noticed, most of the sex toys I review here tend to be very pretty, brightly coloured objects. For this review I wanted to try something completely different, which is how I ended up with the Nick Hawk GIGOLO Genuine Cast Dildo.
Warning: NSFW Photos after the jump.
It’s exactly what it looks like: a Dildo which was actually made from a cast of Nick’s penis. The process of making the Dildo was filmed live & included in an episode of Gigolos. The Nick Hawk dildo, is made from Better-Than-Real® Plus material (Phthalate-Free PVC) which has been hand finished and colored for exacting detail. It has a suction cup at it’s base so you can attach it to surfaces (i.e., the edge of the bed, or bathtub) or use it in a harness. Because of the flared base, this toy can also be anally. As you can see by the box it also has “moveable balls” – I’m not sure why this is a selling point, but apparently this is a thing.
Nick’s virtual penis measures approximately 6 inches in insertable length, with a total length of 8 inches (including the balls.) When I told my friend and fellow Gigolos fan, Ange, about this her response was, “That’s it?!”
Truth be told, 6 inches doesn’t sound like much however, the average penis is said to be 5.0-5.7 inches when hard. However, what Nick lacks in extreme length, he makes up for in a nice, healthy girth of 6 inches. The toy is soft, flexible and slightly squishy – kind of like the real deal. However, because of the texture of toy and the ample girth, you’ll definitely want to use some lube for optimal pleasure.
This toy is a Dildo, not a vibrator which means that it has no motor. To use it you thrust and move it inside yourself, simulating intercourse. What I should mention about this toy is how eerily realistic it feels – even more so than my beloved Fun Factory Big Boss. The toy feels absolutely fantastic inside you. During an afternoon play session with “Nick”, I had one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had with a non-vibrating toy.
To understand the potential drawbacks of this toy, I must show you a photo of what it looks like in person. Behold Nick Hawk’s virtual penis!
Some of you may consider this an example of “when keeping things real goes wrong.” This Dildo is scarily realistic and veiny. So very, very veiny. I love real life penises, veins and all. However, somehow bright blue veins on a toy kind of freak me out. If that makes me a hypocrite, so be it.
Secondly, although this toy is made from body-safe materials, it has a fairly strong rubbery smell. When I was telling Ange about the toy, I mentioned this:
“The toy kind of smells like the camping aisle at Walmart.”
“Wow, I totally thought it would smell like his cologne, or at the very least Drakkar Noire.”
“I know right?! It would also be pretty awesome if it vibrated to the beats of his raps, but you can’t always get everything you want in life.”
Luckily I was able to solve the issue of the smell by using a strawberry flavoured lube, which immediately remedied the problem. With that said, I absolutely love the feeling of this toy – enough to overlook it’s minor shortcomings (no pun intended)
Here are a few more photos so you can get an idea of the size of the toy. Joe the Intern reluctantly agreed to stand next to it, “in the name of science.” Keep in mind that Joe is 12 inches tall.
Although I really loved this toy, Joe the Intern felt very differently:
So there you have it. This is my first “Genuine Cast” Dildo experience and although toy is out of my usual comfort zone, I don’t regret trying it at all. With that said, the Nick Hawk GIGOLO Dildo is not for everyone – and certainly not for anyone who is looking for a discreet toy. I’d recommend this toy for intermediate to advanced users or fans of the show who want an interesting “souvenir.”
On that note, I’m off to go find a hiding spot for this bad boy.
What do you guys think?!
This toy was provided for me free of charge by California Exotics in exchange for my honest assessment of the product. As per FTC guidelines, all opinions are my own because that’s how I roll.