Between work, going to events, seeing friends and finding time to read cheesy books written by MTV reality stars – life can get really busy. Lately, I’ve been trying to block out time each week to make sure I blog. What I’ve realized is that blogging is a bit like having sex. You can set aside time for it, put on something comfortable (my preferred blogging outfit is a T-shirt and my floral leggings – sorry to blow the fantasy) and try and set the mood perfectly but, sometimes despite the best intentions it just isn’t happening. Whether its the lack of an erection or orgasm OR a serious case of writers block – the same frustrating feeling prevails. What I’ve learned is that in either of these situations (writing or sex) you just have to accept that sometimes there is nothing you can do & go with the flow. When I’m having problems “getting in the mood” to write, my first thought is usually: “I NEED WINE!”. After one or two glasses, if inspiration hasn’t hit I’m like, “I NEED MOOD MUSIC! But, not just anything. I’m trying to write about sexy stuff so, I need sexy music“. The other night I ended up in this exact predicament. Bored with my usual collection of my go to “sexy music” (D’Angelo, the Black Keys, Sade & Prince are a few) I decided to go on Youtube, with the question “So, Simone what songs remind you of sex?“
If you know me you know that I’m kind of obsessed with 90’s R&B and hip hop. An hour and 3/4 of a bottle of wine later (how did THAT happen?) I ended up in this weird, hazy, wine-fueled-YouTube-90’s R&B-vortex where I listened to these 3 songs on repeat. As embarrassing as it is to admit, these tracks still do it for me.
To make your Monday a little bit more sexy (or maybe just induce laughter) I’ve decided to share some of my favorite “baby making music” from back in the day. (FYI. No one around here is actually trying to make any babies but, I do enjoy “practicing” ha.)
1. Love Scene by Joe
Joe – The Love Scene by sweet_love33
This song came out near the end of high school at a time when my boyfriend (at the time) and I were still trying to figure out how to actually have sex and make it last longer than 5 minutes. However, this song gave me hope that better things were to come. I figured that this was how grown-ups did it: with romantic music, bubbles baths, champagne and errr, video cameras.
Best lyric: “Every time I close my eyes, I wake up feeling so horny”
(Because, really – who hasn’t felt like that at some point?)
Questionable matching stage outfits and hip thrusting aside, whenever I hear this song I think SEX. I remember I bought buying this Jodeci album (“The Show. The After Party. The Hotel”) specifically to play while the guy I was seeing at the time & I fooled around. FYI. This was in the late 90’s. “The Show. The After Party. The Hotel” is a great concept album for naked fun times. You have “The Show” portion (Have a few drinks. Get comfortable), “The After-Party” (Time to make-out!) and “The Hotel” (Let’s get busy!). In the mid 2000’s I was seeing a guy who shared a mutual love of old-school Jodeci. One afternoon we decided to listen to the album while we had sex. Unfortunately, one of the songs on the “Hotel” portion includes a lot of simulated moaning sounds. At one point, the moaning and panting on the album started to drown out OUR sounds. We started to laugh hysterically and kept laughing so hard that we couldn’t finish. So, please note: Jodeci also works as birth control.
3. You Remind Me by R.Kelly
Best lyric: “Girl, you look just like my car“
Never have such utterly ridiculous lyrics sounded so good. This is one song that really should be experienced without watching the video because there is SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH IT. Girls playing basketball for no reason! Giant cellphones! All of R-Kelly’s hand gestures! Also, it brings up important questions like: Why is R.Kelly on the Phone for 50% of the video? And, what’s a JEEP-NIK-JAM? Why does it require a boxing ring full of jeeps? Is R-Kelly going to fight the jeeps in some kind of crazy Man versus Machine throw-down? I thought this song was about sex. Whenever I hear this song, I say to myself “I’m enjoying this but, I really don’t want to be“. I imagine this is exactly what I would be saying if I was hanging out with R.Kelly in person (that and “I hope he doesn’t try to pee on me“)
If that hasn’t made your day more sexy, hopefully you’ve been able to laugh at some of the horrible 90’s fashions or, at the very least my taste in music.
What’s your go-to sexy music?