Want to show me you’re interested? Pick up the phone and call me. Phone calls used to be the norm, but somewhere along the line with the advent of texting, they’ve become the exception. While I’d still prefer texting for most forms of communication, there’s something to be said about the phone call — especially when it comes to catching up with old friends or getting to know a new love interest. I love hearing the other person’s voice and their laughter instead of just their LOL’s. When someone I’m interested in calls me, I get butterflies and my spirits soar like I’m Drake dancing in the Hotline Bling video.
With that said, a lot of people still feel awkward talking on the phone. When the team at Livelinks approached me, I thought it was the perfect oppertunity to share some of my conversation tips for talking on the phone.
1. Invest in a headset.
The biggest complaint I hear from people re: phone conversations is that they “don’t have time to just sit and talk for hours.” I feel you, guys. Unlike texting, where you can distractedly watch back to back episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine while you send witty quips back and forth with your crush, talking on the phone requires a bit more mental focus and presence. My suggestion: get a phone that allows you to plug in earphones. I have an iPhone 8 and if I’m planning on making a phone call longer than a few minutes, I attach my headset. This allows me to do other things around the house or even go for a walk while I catch up with my favorite people.
2. Ask open ended questions.
Not sure what to say? Start by asking open-ended questions (I.e. questions that can’t be easily answered with “yes” or “no”) and let them take the lead talking-wise. What are you passionate about? Where have you traveled? This could even be as simple as asking, “what’s new and exciting with you?” In other words, if you’re not sure what to say, make it all about her. Not only will it take the pressure off, it will also send the message that you’re legit interested in learning more about them (always a good thing). If it helps, make a list of open-ended questions before you pick up the phone and keep them handy.
3. Listen actively.
Don’t zone out. If you’ve asked an open ended question and they’ve answered, follow it up with another open-ended question to show that you’re paying attention (“Oh, you traveled to Spain. What was your favorite part?”)
4. Don’t make it all about you.
Ugh. There’s nothing worse than having a one-sided phone conversation where all the other person does is talk about themselves. With that said, if you’re nervous or the other person isn’t saying much, it’s easy to default to stream of consciousness rambling. To avoid turning your phone chat into a therapy session, think back to those open-ended questions. Make sure you’re asking your phone date questions and giving them the chance to do the same.
5. Don’t overthink it.
Just because you have them on the phone, doesn’t mean you have to reveal your deepest, darkest secrets. Talk to them about stuff you’re comfortable about and just be yourself. Remember, it’s just a conversation.
6. Make her laugh.
There’s a reason why people always list “sense of humor” as one of their most desirable attributes in a partner. Laughter is a huge turn-on. While I don’t suggest you go into the conversation attempting to be a comedian, keeping things light and playful is a great place to start.
7. End the conversation with an ask.
So, the conversation has gone well and now it’s time to sign off. Don’t hang up the phone without locking down the next steps. Whether it’s asking her out on a date or scheduling your next phone chat, make the other person feel like the conversation was a good use of their time by setting up future plans.
8. Channel your inner Winston from New Girl.
Lastly, it all comes down to confidence. I love the show New Girl and my favorite character Winston. While Winston is kind of awkward in real life, we learn in the later seasons that he’s inexplicably good on the phone (and well, it’s pretty hilarious). The point here is that you can be awkward in real life and still have good phone etiquette. Stick to the tips mentioned above and channel your inner Winston. You’ve totally got this!
PS. If you’re looking for a place to try out these new tips, try Livelinks (1-888-507-1136). Thanks for supporting the posts that support Skinny Dip.