Don’t Shop When You’re Hungry and Other Wise Advice

You know the saying, “Never go grocery shopping when you’re hungry?” It’s wise advice. Whenever I’ve gone to the grocery store hungry I always end up buying a bunch of stuff that I never would have bought otherwise, like a $30 wheel of brie, salted caramel vegan brownie mix and a 2lb package of Sriracha flavoured cocktail weenies. When I get home I realize I still don’t have anything to make an actual meal and end up ordering a pizza by default.  THIS is why I try not to avoid grocery shopping when I’m hungry.

I have a new one for you though: don’t shop for sex toys when you’re really horny. I speak from experience. A few months ago I was going through a bit of a “dry spell” sex wise. Coincidentally, this sexless interlude in my life coincided with having to select the next toys I would review as part of the California Exotics Sexpert Program. Hence, the reason I am now the owner of the Bendie Power Stud Clitterific aka a vibrator that looks like a giant, veiny, pink penis. I think it’s safe to say that this is the sex toy equivalent of the 5lb package of Sriracha flavoured cocktail weenies.

 When I chose this toy, clearly I had PENISES on my mind (big, rubbery, bright pink penises apparently). Just like one of those stories that you hear about people who’ve gone on benders only to realize when they’re sober that they’ve bought a shit ton of stuff from Sky Mall, I’d totally forgotten about the Bendie Power Stud Clitterific until it landed on my doorstep in a UPS box. “Oh right, so this happened” I thought to myself. What can I say? In my desperate state, this pink and veiny guy seemed like a good idea.

So what exactly are we dealing with here? The Bendie Power Stud Clitterific is 7. 5 inch long (6.5″ of which is insertable), flexible, anatomically inspired vibrator made of Pthalate-free PVC. It has three speeds that are easily controlled by a one touch button at the base. It’s powered by 2 AA batteries.

What makes this toy unique is that it features a flexible “bendie” shaft that you can bend and shape to the angle you prefer and spiky “studs” near the base that are meant to stimulate your clitoris, hence it’s name.

This is by far one of the most ridiculous toys I’ve ever owned so I had very low expectations for it. However, I have to say I was pleasantly surprised by how well it worked. Although it’s battery powered and only has three speeds, the vibrations are surprisingly powerful and rumbly. As someone who tends to enjoy larger toys, the Bendie Power Stud Clitterific actually has a decent girth and length to it. It works well as both a clitoral stimulator and as an insertable toy. There’s also the option of turning off the vibrations completely and using this as a straight up dildo.

Also, you can bend it into all kinds of weird shapes. Behold it’s bendiness!

After I tried the toy in it’s original shape, I bent it forward and found that this new shape was able to stimulate my g-spot nicely. The downside: a bent pink penis looks like a bent pink penis. In other words, it’s not the sexiest looking toy in the world. However, this didn’t stop me from bending it into all kinds of bizarre positions while I was writing this review. I mean, how could I resist? It was just too much fun.

What I didn’t like about this toy: 

1) The clitoral “studs” – These did absolutely nothing for me. In fact, they didn’t even touch my c-spot when I was using this toy. Also, as a friend pointed out – the studs give the toy a strange sea creature meets alien vibe – so much so that it almost deserves a spot on my when sex toys go hilariously wrong series.

( FYI if you’re craving some dual stimulation, I would suggest using a small bullet vibe on your clit while this toy is inserted. The results are good…very, very good.)

2) The texture and material of this toy – Although the Bendie Power Stud Clitterific is very smooth to the touch, it has a distinct rubbery vibe that’s different than the silicone toys I typically use and love. Although it says it’s made of body-safe materials, I think I’d enjoy this toy more if it were silicone. Also, when you bend it, it makes this weird crunching noise.

With that said, I still enjoyed testing this toy. One of the best parts about it? It’s only $25.95. So, if you’re in the market for a big, pink, penis as a gag gift (hello bachelorette parties!), or want to experiment with a toy that looks like this,  the Bendie Power Stud Clitterific won’t set you back much. It’s not the most amazing toy ever, but it gets the job done. If you want to grab your own, it’s available at Sex Toys Canada.

I received this toy free of charge as part of the Cal Exotics Sexpert Program in exchange for my honest review of the product. All opinions are my own because that’s how I roll.