It’s funny, as someone who writes about love and sex, I’ve discovered there’s a big descrepancy between what people think I do and what I actually do on a daily basis. Spoiler alert: my average day probably isn’t anywhere as sexy as you think it is. Think less lying around in lingerie, musing about modern romance and more wearing real pants & getting shit done. However, yesterday was an anomaly. I spent the afternoon doing what I think people probably assume I do, which is watch hours of porn at my desk.
When people ask me for “good” porn suggestions I never know what to say because frankly, I don’t watch very much. It’s not because I have a problem with it (unlike Governor Gary Herbert, I don’t think porn is a “health hazard” as long as it’s made by consenting adults), I just find that the majority of mainstream porn doesn’t do it for me. Most of the porn I’ve seen seems really fake and mechanical. There’s way too many close ups of isolated body parts and not enough kissing and/or authentic passion. It’s just a bunch of parts going inside other parts.
Add to that the fact the majority of male performers aren’t people I’d necessarily be attracted to in real life, and well, I’m not exactly turned on. I mean, what does a girl have to do to see some regular, attractive people who are into each other boning on camera?!
Enter Erika Lust, the renowned, award winning erotic filmmaker known for creating unique female-led, sexually intelligent, cinematic adult films. Her latest project XConfessions is a crowdsourced website where fans post their fantasies and Erika chooses two to turn into short cinematic erotic films each month.

After listening to Erika’s TEDxVienna talk “It’s Time for Porn to Change” and checking out the gorgeous imagery on XConfessions, I could tell even before pressing play that this would be the kind of erotic content that I’d probably enjoy. Erika and her team kindly gave me a free month to enjoy the videos on XConfessions & I’m now ready to report back on my findings.
Let’s start by talking about the cover art. Notice something different? If you’ve ever perused adult videos, you’ll notice that these covers look completely different. They’re sexy without being raunchy; well designed and even a bit retro chic in some cases. Aesthetically speaking, the artwork for Smut on Speed (below) seems very Skinny Dip-esque, don’t you think?!



They’re pretty right? I also got a kick out of the quirky titles like Hello Pool-Boy, I Fucking Love Ikea and A Feminist Man (who hasn’t fantasized about that?!)
Erika’s motto is:
“I believe that sex is greater than porn, don’t you?”
And as she explains, “XConfessions strives to offer an alternative to the repetitive formula in adult film, creating a new wave of imaginative, artistic and explicit erotic film driven by sex-positive narratives. Unlike many other adult sites, at XConfessions you won’t find the same story or setting twice. Every short film is a story on its own, displaying a huge variety of situations, characters, fetishes and ways of having sex. It’s adult cinema like you’ve never seen it before.”
After watching more porn in the last twelve hours than I did last year, I can say that Erika nailed it (pun intended.)
The films you’ll find on XConfessions are actually good. They’re beautifully shot, well made and decently acted. Some of the films like My Moaning Neighbour (which features the adorable, handsome Mickey Mod) are actually humorous and giggle worthy. Whereas some of the other films like the sexy Pachisi play more like gorgeous, erotic music videos with good soundtracks. There’s enough of a storyline to keep you interested but not so much that it distracts from the purpose at hand, which is to show really hot sex.
For example, if you have ever fantasized about hooking up with your airbnb host (and enjoy boozy brunches) you’ll enjoy I Wish I was a Lesbian – a film about a woman who goes to stay with a lesbian couple. The threesome share what looks like a really delicious meal before going to town on each other. (The brunch looks really, really good. Like, almost as good as the sex. So, really you’re getting the best of both worlds here.)

What I liked best about XConfessions is that the performers seemed to actually be having fun with each other on screen. There’s an element of playfulness and spontaneity that I think is lacking in a lot of adult films. Also, the people in the films look like people I’d actually know or want to fuck in real life – which is huge.
As someone who tends to date outside of her own race more often than not, I also appreciated the diverse cast. There’s black men with white women, black women with white men and all kinds of variations in between. But, unlike mainstream porn, it’s not fetishized. Instead, it’s just presented as, “hey, here’s some sexy couples having sex with each other.” It’s modern, it’s inclusive and I like it.




Overall, I was really impressed with XConfessions. Not all of the videos are going to spark your fancy but there’s enough diversity that everyone is sure to find something they’re into. If you’re looking for an alternative to mainstream porn to watch either alone or with a partner, I definitely think Erika Lust is a great place to start.
If you’d like to experience XConfessions.com for yourself, Erika Lust would like to offer one of you a month’s free subscription!
To enter, all you need to do is sign up for my newsletter & leave a comment letting me know you’ve done so.
FYI, if you’re not already subscribed to my newsletter, it’s a lot of fun! Once or twice a month I’ll send you a message with updates on my book, special events & exclusive discount codes.
Get extra points overtime you tweet:
Hey @simone_paget! I want to #win a month of #XConfessions from @ErikaLust – http://wp.me/p1Yilp-2op
I’ll choose a winner Thursday August 18th.
Good luck!