Sex Archives - Page 8 of 18

I had an EdenFantasys gift card that was burning a hole in my pocket, so recently I decided to “live large” and treat myself to the G4 Big Boss vibrator by Fun Factory. Although I’d been eyeing it for awhile, this is first toy that I’ve tried by Fun Factory – the German design masterminds who are known for their innovative and aesthetically pleasing adult toys.

Friends, there is no dressing this one up. The Big Boss by Fun Factory is exactly what it looks like: a big, black (or orange!), penis shaped vibrator. With a long, thick shaft and a deep, rumbling powerful motor, this toy definitely lives up to it’s name.

The Big Boss has all the makings of a luxury adult toy. It’s made of velvety soft, medical grade silicone and is 100% body safe. It’s water resistant (meaning you can use it in the shower but you can’t fully submerge it in water) and is fully rechargeable (yay!) The toys is powered by three easy to use control buttons. Similar to my beloved Lelo Soraya, I love that the Big Boss has a looped handle, which makes the toy incredibly easy and comfortable to use.

As the name suggests, The Big Boss is a larger sized toy. It has an insertable length of 6.5 inches and a circumference of 5.5 inches, making it the longest and thickest of the vibrators that I own. Although, some people have told me they think this toy is “scary looking”, I don’t think it’s scary at all. Think about it, 6.5 inches really isn’t that big – at least not for me. Studies have shown that the average penis size is approximately just under 6 inches when erect. The Big Boss isn’t an Anaconda. A better way to describe it would be “average and then some.” With that said, you will most likely need to use some water based lube with this toy.

To give you an idea of the scale of The Big Boss, I had Joe the Intern pose casually next to the Jopen Vr12 and the Picobong Kaya. Keep in mind that Joe is approximately the same height as a Ken doll. As you can see, the Jopen Vr12 is slightly longer, however the Big Boss is thicker and has more actual insertable length.

When it comes to the Big Boss by Fun Factory, what’s a “pro” for one person, might be a “con” for another. What the Big Boss really has going for it is it’s size and shape. The toy will definitely give you a fuller feeling than a lot of other vibrators. Although I usually shy away from toys that look anatomically correct, I think this one is beautiful. However, the Big Boss isn’t just a pretty face. It also packs a lot of power. With multiple speeds and vibration patterns, the Big Boss is one of the most powerful toys I own. Considering how powerful this toy is, it’s exceptionally quiet. It only gets slightly louder at the very highest settings.

This is probably going to sound like crazy talk, but of all my toys, this one definitely feels the most “realistic” – i.e. like an actual penis. From it’s slightly flexible shaft to it’s flared head that stimulates the g-spot, if you’re looking for a good stand in for the real thing, the Big Boss will definitely fit the bill. Oh and did I mention it gave me great orgasms?! Because it did.

If you love a toy with some extra girth, length and power, or enjoy toys that stimulate the g-spot, you’ll probably love the Big Boss by Fun Factory. Plus, you’ll finally be able to check off “Own a large black dildo” off your life list (come-on, I know you want to.) However, if this doesn’t sound like you, this toy might not be your cup of tea. Although I really love how this toy feels, it’s not one that I would recommend for beginners. If you’re looking for something similar but smaller and more discreet, I would suggest checking out the Lelo Mona or the Picobong Zizo.

Because Joe the Intern so kindly posed for the photo above, I thought I would let him put in his two cents on this review.

Thanks Joe for sharing that (quite disturbing) personal anecdote. I knew it was a bad idea to let Joe watch The Hurt Locker with me the other night. Anyway, although this toy satisfies me like a boss, I think this just proves my point, that the Fun Factory Big Boss maybe isn’t for everyone. I think the Big Boss is one bad-ass vibrator and am quite happy to be it’s recent hire, but that’s just me.

What do you guys think?

This post was brought to you by EdenFantasys. I received a gift card to support my on-going sex toy and lingerie addiction, in exchange for my honest review of the product. All opinions and over-sharing are my own, because that’s how I roll.

To say I’ve been a bit sexually pent up lately would be the understatement of the century.

When I was still seeing Fitness Guy, sexy time was hard to come by. He’s a single dad with a child at home and I’m currently still living with my parents, which meant that to get some horizontal alone time, it usually required some creative scheduling. There’s only one thing worse than being single and sexually frustrated – it’s dating someone you’re attracted to and knowing you can’t have sex with them when you want to. There were a few times near the end where I needed it so bad, that it required all my willpower not to maul him in his car when he dropped me off at the end of the night.

Now that I’m 100% single, it’s like my hormones are officially running wild.

I know what you’re probably thinking, “But Simone, don’t you have like a bazillion amazing vibrators at your disposal?!”

Yes, it’s true – I do have a fairly impressive collection of sex toys. I also have tons of lingerie and massage oil and lube and so many condoms that I can only hope I’ll be able to use up before they all expire. I’m starting to become the creepy, bougie female equivalent of Seth Green’s character in the 90’s classic “Can’t Hardly Wait”.

Swap that backpack for a Louis Vuitton Never-Full bag, and that’s basically me in a nutshell – minus the tracksuit and goggles. To the outside observer I’m one step away from being one of those people who hoard cans of soup in their homemade backyard bomb shelter, however in my case it looks like I’m preparing for some impending Sexual Apocalypse where strawberry flavoured lube and crotchless panties will no longer be available for purchase.

Not that I’m complaining about my stockpile of goodies – I absolutely love, love, LOVE the perks of my job. However, after spending a huge chunk of my week writing about sex, dating and relationships, the piles of condoms and the sexy lingerie (that no one ever sees except you guys!) act as a reminder of how much sex I’m not having. For awhile I thought what I really needed was just hot roll in the hay. However, as much as a sexy fling sounds awesome right now, I’ve learned that casual sex really isn’t my thing anymore. I’m looking for a deeper, longer lasting emotional connection. I’d like to find the kind of chemistry I had with Fitness Guy, but with someone who actually wants to stick around.

Still, the hormones rage on. It’s gotten so bad that my mind has started to wander to interesting (inappropriate) places. As I was telling my friend over Skype the other night, I’ve never been one to date younger men. However, lately I’ve taken to checking out the cute young guy who works at the Polish Deli.

My friend: “How old is this said, young guy?”

Me: “I mean, he could be 17 or 18, but I think he’s closer to 19 or 20. You know, it’s hard to tell”

Her: “The fact that you’re not sure signals that something is very wrong with this situation”

Me: “No kidding, it all seemed pretty innocent until the last time I was in there and he actually checked me out. Then I was thinking, WHOA BUDDY THIS IS WRONG. I’M OLD. It also didn’t help that I was buying a large thing of Kielbassa.”

My friend is right. I’d never act on this situation, however I’m hoping if I keep bringing it up she might fly out from Toronto to see me under the guise of staging an intervention so, we can instead spend the weekend doing more important things like drinking champagne.

I thought maybe my troubles were coming to end after I went out on a couple dates last week with a new guy we’ll call “Small Town Cop.” Small Town Cop was nice, friendly, handsome, well-dressed and of course, an officer of the law. We went out for a nice dinner at a popular restaurant in town and had a good enough time for him to ask me out again. I told him that I’m a writer and about the blog. I didn’t really think this would be an issue until he texted me the next day.

“So, I’ve been reading your blog. Just one question: when I kissed you last night, did you feel it in your nether regions? ;)”

“Ha, what?!”

Then he mentioned that he’d read about this on my blog. To be honest I write for myself and clients, all week, every week and sometimes it’s hard to remember exactly what I’ve said before. Immediately, I started wracking my brain trying to remember when I had ever used the term “nether regions” in a post. Meanwhile I’m also just thinking:

“FUCK. So, this is what it feels like when your blog comes back to bite you in the ass”

Although the kiss goodnight was nice, I didn’t feel any butterflies and certainly not in my nether regions. In fact, I was mostly just distracted because I was still thinking of Fitness Guy. But was I going to tell him that? No. I liked the guy enough to see where this might lead. However, this wouldn’t be the last I’d hear about this.

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Not sure what vibrator to choose? Got a relationship or dating question that’s keeping you up at night? I recently put it out there that I’d love to answer your sex, dating, relationship questions. The exciting news? Some of you actually sent questions for me to answer. Yay!

Here’s a question I received this week –

Hey Simone!

Your most recent post made me think of a question that I would love for you to address on your blog. Do you think it’s possible that using a vibrator (and thus becoming used to achieving orgasm by means of something that can never be replicated by a penis) can somehow make it harder to orgasm during sex? I don’t have sex super often (sadly!) but when I do I find it next to impossible to get off. Since I’m super used to my rabbit-style vibrator, I’m wondering if I’m somehow getting my body so used to one thing that another thing (i.e. a penis that is definitely not going to vibrate) just isn’t going to do it for me. Or am I just generally difficult to please? Thanks!

–A

Dear A,

First of all, I just wanted to say congrats on taking your pleasure into your own hands – literally! I truly believe that we need to know how to pleasure ourselves before we can expect someone else to do the same. However, with that said, I totally understand how frustrating it must be to not be able to have an orgasm with a partner.

As I mentioned to you in my response, when I first received your message I wasn’t sure how to answer. A panic button in my head immediately went off: “Is it possible that my love of sex toys is actually hurting my sex life rather than helping it?! Omg, what if it is?!” I wasn’t sure how to answer your question so I turned to Dr. Trina Read for some professional insight.

Dr. Read explained to me that what you’re going through is actually pretty common. As she explains, “Vibrators make orgasms quick and intense; once a person becomes accustomed to that feeling it can be difficult to achieve orgasm with manual stimulation. Especially during intercourse.” There’s no scientific evidence that suggests that you can become addicted to your vibrator, however some people do become mentally reliant on the instant gratification that a vibrator provides. When this happens, it’s just a question of training/re-training your body to enjoy other sensations too.

I think the first step is recognizing the difference in sensation between a vibrator orgasm and a manual orgasm because as you mentioned, a penis (or a hand, or lips for that matter) don’t vibrate. Here’s a few things you can do to mix things up:

– Whether it’s stepping away from your iPhone or putting your rabbit away for awhile, there’s definitely something to be said about “unplugging” and getting back to basics. Give your rabbit a break for awhile and instead try to have an orgasm the old fashioned way, by using your fingers. You may even remember how pleasurable exploring your body in this way can be.

-If you’d like to use a toy, try something that offers a different sensation. For example, you could try something like the Sqweel Wheel Oral Sex Simulator. I’ve nicknamed this toy “The Tiny Wheel of Tongues” because that’s basically what it is. Instead of vibrations, The Sqweel has a wheel of soft, tongue-like spokes that rotate and simulate fairly accurately the experience of a partner’s tongue during oral sex. It generally takes me longer to orgasm while using this toy but the sensation is much closer to what it feels like when I’m actually with a partner.

Another option is to invest in a good quality dildo like the Lelo Ella that’s designed to help you discover and stimulate your g-spot. G-spot orgasms feel slightly different than clitoral orgasms. Move the toy inside you and discover what feels good (you can also do this by just turning off your rabbit and inserting the shaft.) In my personal experience, once I figured out where my g-spot was and started to stimulate it regularly, I became much more aware of it during partner sex and it became easier to have internal orgasms. You could also try using a set of Ben Wa balls like the Lelo Pleasure Beads to help strengthen your vaginal muscles (which can lead to more powerful orgasms)

I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone hon. I love my Lelo Soraya like nobody’s business but even I sometimes have problems having a vaginal orgasm with a partner. Truth be told, most woman need to have some clitoral stimulation during intercourse to get off. I usually orgasm really easily through oral sex or finger stimulation, but when it comes to straight penis in vagina sex, sometimes the orgasm just doesn’t happen. This is especially true when I’m with a new partner. During the 6-years I was with my ex-partner we got to the point where we knew each other’s bodies so well that I knew exactly which positions would help me have an orgasm (being on top is basically a sure-shot for me. Always has been) With that said, getting to that point took time, patience and trust.

Now that I’m single, I’m remembering what it’s like to get to know someone from scratch and it’s a different story. Sometimes you’re just not sexually compatible with the person you’re having sex with and no matter what they do, you’re not going to get off. Other times you’re so attracted to someone and it’s hot and thrilling, but you still are getting to know their body & how you fit together. I’ve experienced both scenarios over the past year.

You mentioned in your letter that you don’t have sex that often so I’m guessing that you’re not in a long term committed relationship. If this is the case, my guess is that once you do find someone you click with and trust (trust is huge) you’ll be able to work through the orgasm issue together. I’m fully confident that you can have earth shaking orgasms with a partner, it just might take some time, patience, and lots of naked sexy time to figure it out. In the mean time, have fun experimenting and exploring on your own.

By the way – if it’s vibrations you seek, you might really enjoy a vibrating toy that can be used with a partner like the We-Vibe or the Lelo Tor.

I really hope these tips help. Remember, you’re not hard to please. You’re just a normal woman who knows what she wants.

Love & Hugs,

Simone

What do you think – Did I miss anything? What advice would you give?

Got a question about sex, dating, relationships or sexy products?! Send it on over! I’ll do my best to answer it, or at the very least, find someone who can.

Today we’re going to talk about Dildos! Yay!

Ever since I wrote my review of the Lelo Ella Dildo, I’ve had readers email me with questions like,

“What do you mean it doesn’t vibrate?”

“How does it work?!

With so many adult toys on the market, trying to figure out what will work best for you and how to use it can be slightly overwhelming. Seeing as a reader emailed me the other day with the exact questions above, I thought this might be a good opportunity to explain the difference between Dildos and Vibrators. Although the terms are often used interchangeably, knowing the difference between the two can make the shopping process a lot less confusing.

A Dildo is phallic shaped sex toy designed to be used for masturbation or other sexual activity. Although many Dildos are made to accurately resemble an erect penis, this is not always the case. Many dildos have a suggestive phallic shape like the Lelo Ella. Although some people like to use “Dildos” as an umbrella term to describe other sex toys like vibrators, they are not exactly the same thing. The main difference being, that in it’s truest form, a Dildo does not vibrate.

When people ask me how a Dildo works, I usually tell them: “Like a penis!”

Whereas a vibrator relies on vibrations to get you off, most Dildos are designed for repeated penetration or thrusting – either vaginally or anally. By moving the Dildo inside you (like a penis during partner sex), the toy uses friction to get you off by hitting pleasurable nerve endings. Some Dildos are designed specifically to stimulate and/or discover a woman’s G-spot. This is where I feel like the classic Dildo really excels. Without the buzz of vibrations, you can use the toy to really explore and find those awesome pleasure points – at least this has been my experience. If you’re looking to explore your G-spot – either solo or with a partner -I would recommend checking out a G-spot dildos like the Lelo Ella, The Comet by Tantus, The Flowered friend by Don Wands or the ultra curved Key Comet G by Jopen.

You can also use Dildos for anal penetration. However, if you’re going to be using a Dildo for anal play, make sure you use a toy with a flared base like the The Comet. The flared base prevents the toy from getting lost inside you (something that can actually happen if you’re not careful. Yikes!)

There are also dildos designed to be worn in a harness, sometimes called a strap-on harness or strap-on dildo. Some Dildos also include a removable bullet vibrator for extra stimulation. Examples of these kinds of toys would be the Vibrating Champlette or the (kind of totally hilarious) Oh Oui Pink Banana. The Vibrating Champlette can easily be strapped on, while with the Oh Oui Pink Banana…well, if you can actually manage to use it without laughing hysterically, good for you.

There are also double-ended dildos, with different-sized shafts pointing in the same direction, used by women to accomplish both anal and vaginal penetration at once, or for two partners to share a single dildo. In this case, the dildo acts as a sort of “see-saw”; each partner takes an end and receives stimulation.

As you may remember, I really love my Lelo Ella Dildo. When it comes to playing with it, I personally prefer to use it with a partner. Ladies, if you’re looking for some fun inspiration, I would suggest having your partner use a G-spot stimulating Dildo on you (while going down on you, or on it’s own) during foreplay. Stimulating the G-Spot during foreplay will make the main event that much more explosive. Trust.

I should also mention that different materials provide different sensations. Dildos made of silicone have a similar silky, soft feel of real skin, whereas Dildos made of glass or metal, have a harder texture that can either be heated or cooled for added sensation. There are also wooden Dildos which are great for people who like to keep things as natural and environmentally friendly as possible. FYI. Toys made of Silicone, Glass, Stainless Steel and Wood like The Tsunami by Tantus, The Amazing Swirls Dildo, Fling Ergonomic Two Finger Dildo and the The Pure Wand by NJoy are all 100% body safe.

Although there are an infinite number of possibilities when it comes to the products available, Dildos themselves are nothing new. Evidence suggests that people have been making and using sex toys since the beginning of time. The world’s oldest known dildo is a siltstone 20-centimeter phallus from the Upper Palaeolithic period that was found in Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm, Germany, and dates back 30,000 years. The first dildos were made of stone, tar, wood and other materials that were firm enough to be used as penetrative sex toys. Dildos were were known in Ancient Greece prior to the 5th century BC and Chinese women in the 15th century used dildos made of lacquered wood with textured surfaces. There have also been many references to dildos in literature – from Shakespeare to William Burroughs!

In comparison, the vibrator is relatively new. They didn’t arrive on the scene until the 1880’s when Dr. Joseph Mortimer Granville patented the first electromechanical vibrator. If you’re looking for a feel good movie (literally), the film Hysteria offers a fun glimpse into the story behind the invention of the first vibrator.

If it’s actually a vibrator that you’re looking for, check out the Lelo Mona (love this toy!), the Picobong Moka or the Lelo Liv which all have the shape of a Dildo with the added benefit of killer vibrations to rock your world.

So, here is what you should take away from this:

Dildos don’t vibrate (unless there’s a vibrating bullet inserted inside)

Vibrators do vibrate (and often look like Dildos)

Some people consider Dildos and vibrators the same thing, however I prefer to think of them as separate but closely related – sort of like cousins. Similar but different and both a lot of fun.

And lastly, when people (ie. Perez Hilton – who really should know better) use the terms interchangeably it can get both confusing and annoying for this sex blogger.

Because I promised he’d be able to give his 2 cents, I’ll let Joe the Intern sum things up:

Um, thanks Joe – that’s actually a very succinct analogy!

This post was brought to you by EdenFantasys. I received a gift card in exchange for this post. For better or for worse, all opinions are my own because that’s how I roll.

Got any sex toy questions? Ask me here!

If you’re following me on Twitter or Facebook you might have noticed that I recently did my first live video chat for Sun Media – Canada’s largest newspaper publisher. On February 13th I teamed up with Dr. Trina Read for a live Sex and Relationship Chat where we answered readers questions about sex, dating and relationships – just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Relationship and sexual health expert, Dr. Trina Read, is the founder of VivaXO.com, Eat Drink Love and is CBC radio’s Relationship Columnist. She is a mom of two boys, a best selling author, a go-to media expert, magazine columnist, spokeswoman and award winning international speaker. In other words, she’s amazing. It was a real pleasure working with her! I really admire her confidence, professional insights and just general hutzpah. I’m still getting used to being on camera and doing these kinds of events, however I hope to one day live up to her gold standard 🙂

I was initially really afraid to watch the footage because I was worried I’d come across as a bumbling mess, however I’m surprisingly coherent! ha. Aside from a few “ummms” and the fact that I still haven’t quite learned how to look directly into my web cam, I’m really happy with how the chat turned out. What do you guys think?

Thanks to Dr. Trina Read, Victoria Revay, Monique Beech and Sun Media for putting this chat together & being so fabulous to work with. I really hope we get to do it again soon!

Do you have any sex, dating or relationship questions you’d like answered? Send them on over. I’d love to make answering your questions on camera a regular thing!

Review | Like a Boss – The G4 Big Boss by Fun Factory

Nether Regions

Ask Simone | Can Using a Vibrator Make it Harder to Orgasm During Sex?

Sex Ed | Dildos vs. Vibrators

My First Live Sex & Relationship Chat with Dr. Trina Read