Sex Archives - Page 7 of 18

For those of you who weren’t already aware of this, for the past six months I’ve had the pleasure of being the social media manager over at condom company extraordinaire, Lucky Bloke. You may remember Lucky Bloke from that time I made Skinny Dip Condoms – they were the lovely people who supplied those yummy smelling strawberry condoms that helped make this dream a reality. A few months later, I met Lucky Bloke’s CEO Melissa at Bloggers in Sin City 2012. We instantly hit it off and have been working together ever since.

People always ask me (cough. cough. my Mom. cough. cough.) what it’s like working for a company that sells condoms. To be honest, it’s great. Lucky Bloke is all about pleasure, safety and giving back to social causes. They’re on a mission to help people have amazing sex with condoms (yes, you read right!) through premium products, education and promoting healthy sexuality. They also give a portion of each sale to pressing social issues. It’s really nice to work with a company whose values are very much in line with mine.

Working with Lucky Bloke I’ve actually learned a lot about condoms, lube and safer sex. Here’s a few things that I think everyone should know about condoms & lube –

– Condoms are not one-size-fits all. Condoms actually come in three distinctly different sizes – small, medium and large. Furthermore, not all condoms are created equal – and while we’re all taught to USE condoms, we’re never taught how to CHOOSE condoms. (As someone who has spent time in the condom aisle feeling bewildered at all the different choices, I know this to be true.)

–A lot of people who hate using condoms are simply using the wrong size. To figure out you or your partner’s correct size, here is a fun & easy guide for condom sizing. It makes sense – would you buy a pair of shoes that were one-size-fits-all?! Of course not! Besides, as Cher from Clueless says about shoes, “Those only go on your feet!” The worst condom for one person, may be the best condom for someone else.

To help people find the condoms & lube they love, Lucky Bloke has created a line of sampler packs that feature some of the world’s best condoms and lubricants. If you’re not sure what size condom you need, they even have a Perfect Fit Sampler that comes with a variety of different sizes for you to try. Instead of buying a whole box of condoms that you may love or hate, the samplers allow you to try a bunch of different condoms or lube so you can find the perfect products for you.

Explore the thinnest condoms available from Japan; a tasty line of vegan and organic flavored condoms from Australia; condoms that vary from glow-in-the-dark to ribbed AND studded from North America; as well as the very best from Europe. Each condom and lube sampler is comprised of the top rated picks in its category and comes in an elegant clear plastic box.

(FYI, once you try the condoms that Lucky Bloke offers, you’ll never go back to most drugstore brands. The Glyde Strawberry Condom aka the “Skinny Dip Condom” has received very favourable reviews. Ahem.)

Because I am currently not in need of condoms, Melissa kindly sent me Lucky Bloke’s Ultimate Lube Sampler to test out. The Ultimate Lube sampler includes some of the sexiest lubes out there. From water-based, silicone based (and hybrids, of course!) to arousing, flavoured and stimulating — the lube sampler features a variety of premium, best selling formulas.

My sampler included 12 different premium lubes from brands like One, Sliquid, Uberlube, Good Clean Love, Wet, Please Cream and Pjur. I originally had 12 lube packets, but ended up using two (d’oh!) so, that’s why there are only 10 small lube packets in the photo. Luckily Melissa also sent me two jumbo samples of Good Clean Love that I have included in the photo as stand-ins for the missing lubes.

As someone who is really sensitive to products and additives, I love that none of these lubes irritated me and that many of them included organic, natural ingredients. If I had to pick a favourite, I’d have to say the Good Clean Love “Almost Naked.” It’s a great lube for sensitive people like myself and has a very delicate vanilla and orange blossom scent. Other faves include anything from Sliquid and the Please Cream – a light, creamy lubricant that feels fantastic.

It was fun having so many different lube options to try and was surprised by how many I really enjoyed. I also love that everything is in small, single use packages that are perfect for throwing in your purse or sleepover kit along with condoms (without having to worry about bringing a large bottle with you that could potentially leak all over.)

I’m totally in love with Lucky Bloke and I want you to be too. That’s why I’d like to give one reader the chance to try three different samplers – one per month, for the next three months. The winner can mix things up (i.e. two condom samplers and one lube.) Not currently using condoms?! If you use toys or have sex at all, I strongly recommend the lube samplers! Seriously, lube makes everything better.

If you’re ready to take your sex life up a notch over the next three months, you just need to leave a comment on this post letting me know that you’d like to win. Bonus points can be earned by following the prompts below –
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Contest runs until Thursday November 7th when I’ll pick a winner at random.

Good Luck!

Yours in pleasure & safety,

I finally got Dickbombed the other night.

I’d never even the heard the term “Dickbombing” until a fateful night in Vegas when I was having dinner with all the bloggers at the Paris hotel. Since I was sitting at a different table, I’m not exactly sure of the sequence of events – just that Maxie sent someone a photo of (what I believe was) an animated gif of a penis and then someone else blurted out, “You’ve been dickbombed!” and it stuck. “Dickbombing” became part of my vocabulary. Thanks Bloggers in Sin City!

I’m no stranger to the fact that people send photos of penises to each other. I’ve just never experienced a proper digital dick-bombing first hand or had a catchy phrase to go along with it. Considering a lot of these penis photos are “surprise attacks” dickbombing seems like a much better term than “cock shot.”

Unlike yours truly, I suspect the Queen of Pop is well versed in the art of dickbombing.

According to Dickbombing.com “Anyone can Dick Bomb! Dick Bombing is a very inclusive activity with no prejudice against sex or race. Men and women alike can Dick Bomb! School teachers and policemen can Dick Bomb! Waitresses and homeless people can Dick Bomb! Grandmas and uncles can Dick Bomb! Pagans and priests can Dick Bomb! Anyone can Dick Bomb!”

So yes, all you need is a phone, photos of a penis and a dream.

Although I have done many things with the opposite sex, I’ve never electronically sent and/or received a photo of someone’s junk – until now. Why is this a big deal you ask? Because, if you talk to anyone in the dating world these days, Dickbombing is like the new hello. Before I started dating again, I can’t count how many stories I read on other dating blogs that went something like, “I was chatting with this totally hot guy. We agreed to go get pizza sometime, then he sent me a photo of his dick.” Ok, so maybe’s it’s not the new hello, maybe the people writing these blog posts are just dating creeps, but it is a thing. There’s even a Jack in the Box commercial that spoofs the act of dickbombing.

Once again, I suspect Madonna enjoys a good dickbomb every now and then....

It’s a sign of the times. Now that almost everyone has a smartphone (or at the very least, a phone with a camera), people are swapping photos of their genitals with a frequency and ease, unmatched in history. As we speak, cellphone towers are likely transmitting iPhone sized images of penises, in all directions, all across the world. It’s quite incredible.

Under the impression that there are photos of penises lurking everywhere, I assumed when I re-entered the dating scene that I’d encounter some digital dicks of my own – likely, sooner rather than later. However, this hasn’t been the case at all. The men I encountered during my brief foray into online dating seemed way more interested in showing me photos of their boats & seafood they’d caught, than their genitalia – which is probably a good thing.

When I mentioned this to a friend, her response was:

“Really?! I feel like you’re the kind of person who’d get photos of dicks sent to them all the time. Why hasn’t this happened yet?!”

“I know, right?”

Your guess is as good as mine.

...and can you blame her?

When I first started dating again this fall, I was texting with this guy I was seeing at the time. He sent me a message asking if I’d send him a “pic” of myself. I decided to play it safe and send him the headshot I use as my Facebook photo. As I pressed send I thought, THIS IS IT. IT’S HAPPENING. HE’S TOTALLY GOING TO SEND ME A PHOTO OF HIS DICK.

However, much to my surprise he wrote back and said, “Nice! Thx, saved to phone”

Although I was relieved, it made me wonder “Where are all the dicks?!”

That is until the other night, when the thing I had been equally dreading and anticipating all this time, finally happened.

I looked at my phone and thought,

“Well, look at that!”

It could have been that I was looking at an exceptionally nice penis, or the fact that I am quite fond of it’s owner, but it was actually kind of a nice moment.

There in it’s slightly pixelated glory, was the penis – looking tall, proud and one might even say, sophisticated – like the kind of penis that might be known to drink scotch by a fireplace or wear a top-hat every now and then.

It was a flawless dickbombing if there ever was one.

Well, hello there.

However, what essentially made this dickbombing experience a positive one was the fact that it occurred between two consenting adults. No one likes to be surprised by a penis. Therefore, I stand by my belief that the same rules that apply to penises offline, apply to them online. In other words, contrary to what Dickbombing.com suggests, just because you can dickbomb, doesn’t mean you should. Showing your penis, or photos of other people’s penises to people who don’t want to see them is just creepy. Actually, to be on the safe side you should probably only show photos of your penis to people who have seen it in person and already given it the stamp of approval.

I think Joe the Intern sums it up quite nicely.

In other words, with great technology, comes great responsibility. Dickbomb wisely my friends.

Signed,

Dickbombing Virgin No More

Have you ever been Dickbombed?

Being single and having sex in your 30’s can be weird.

On one hand, your hormones are raging and you want to have as much sex as possible. However, after a decade of bad decisions in your 20’s you’re now way more selective about who you get naked with.

As I was telling a friend of mine the other day, “Most days I want to have sex with everyone and no one, all at the same time.”

It’s confusing.

As a 30-something, it’s likely you’re way more comfortable in your own skin and what works for you in the bedroom. Added to that, it seems like every magazine article written about women in their 30’s never fails to point out that you’re in your “sexual peak” (whatever that means.) In theory, you should be having the best sex of your life thus far – right?! As I’ve discovered, this isn’t necessarily the case.

People assume that because I’m a sex & relationship blogger that I must be having the hottest, steamiest, kinkiest sex, all the time. However, when I first started to date again following the big break-up in 2011, I had a string of awkward, bumbling, just plain bad, sexual encounters. Coming from a 6.5 year relationship where my partner knew my body almost as good as his own, I knew I was spoiled. However, I was totally not prepared when my love life turned into a living, breathing (panting?) version of this e-card.

Luckily, it seems as though the curse of bad sex has been broken (woo hoo!). However, for awhile I was getting worried. Up until very recently, I’ve been avoiding all contact with the opposite sex, for the sole reason that I just can’t bear to add another item to my growing list of “bad sex” stories (situations I thought I had outgrown when I bid my twenties farewell.)

Everyone weighs the importance of sex in a relationship differently. Having dated several people over the years with whom I didn’t have the greatest sexual chemistry with (but who were good people), I’ve come to the conclusion that a strong physical connection is really, really important to me. I even wrote a column for the Toronto Sun about whether bad sex is reason enough to break up (my answer: yes, yes, a thousand times yes!)

So, what exactly qualifies as “bad sex”?

Well, that’s really different for everyone. Personally, after extensive research in the field throughout my 20’s and 30’s (and some preliminary research in high-school) I’ve come to the conclusion that what I consider “bad sex” usually falls into one (or several) of the following categories. Let me know if any of these sound familiar:

1. “The Guitar Solo” – Really great sex is like music: there’s a give & take between the different instruments, crescendos, melody and a good use of rhythm. “The Guitar Solo” basically takes all of those principles and blows them straight to hell. It’s a one person performance that usually involves spastic movements reminiscent of an energizer bunny on meth, bizarre vocalizations (“Fuck Yeah! Score! Touchdown!”) and perhaps even some rodeo-style arm movements. Yee haw! When it comes to guitar solos, the second guy I slept with was a regular Jimmy Page. FYI, in my experience, the most prolific “soloists” usually have a sex face that looks like Steven Tyler having a seizure.

2. “Let’s Not Make Eye-Contact” sex – What’s the deal with people not wanting to make eye-contact during sex?! Do women do this too? I’ve slept with a couple of guys who seemed to only want to have sex in facially obscuring positions. I don’t mind a bit of doggy-style action, but if we’re having sex and it’s been 45 minutes since I’ve seen your face, that’s a problem. What’s even worse is when you try and make eye-contact and the person dodges you, looking away. It gets to the point where it feels like you’re in the sexual equivalent of a Larry David style stare-down. Make eye-contact with me! I DARE YOU.

(And yes, there really is a Larry David gif for every life situation)

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Although it’s sometimes nice to be able to sit around with your partner, pant-less, eating Dorritos, watching back to back episodes of Dexter while not talking; what I’ve learned from being in long-term relationships and writing about them, is this: Communication is really, really important and sometimes even the best relationships need spicing up.

Now enter The Fantasy Box – a monthly subscription service designed to help couples communicate better and explore their fantasies. The Fantasy Box was born when friends, Chris and Mariah, started talking candidly about the pitfalls of long term relationships and sex. The best sex was fun, adventurous, varied and based on a foundation of communication and trust. It was anticipated and prioritized, even when life got in the way. The worst sex was the opposite – monotonous, often full of judgment and something that was done out of obligation. To quote their website, “Sex is the glue that draws you back together when you can’t remember why else you are in this relationship.” My grandma recently told me, “You know what gets you through 50+ years of marriage to the same person? Good sex!” I think they’re all onto something.

With that said, even couples with a fantastic connection experience slumps and issues with communication when it comes to sex. Often couples are curious about wanting to try new things but don’t even know where to start. Recognizing this, Chris and Mariah started Fantasy Box so they could provide couples with an effortless way to introduce a new level of fun into their sex lives without stress, guilt, or judgment. Aka, no more missionary in the dark. (Amen to that!)

Everyone has fantasies – it’s totally natural. After consulting with focus groups and sexperts, the duo came up with over 60 of the most common fantasies for men and women. With The Fantasy Box, every month you will receive a different fantasy, instructions for how to play it out and all the goodies needed to turn fantasy into reality. I am super excited that Chris and Mariah kindly sent me a Fantasy Box of my own to test drive!

My parcel arrived in discreet packaging but when I opened it up I found this gorgeous red box adorned with funky black and white designs. I love all the cartoon lips, panties and hand-cuffs!

Inside the box I found note cards with instructions for the “Leader” and the “Follower” The couple gets to decide “who’s who” and can always switch it up depending on the mood.

Underneath the cards I found the mother load of goodies! Ahhhhhhh so many fun and cute things!

Here’s what was inside:

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The last time I was single for an extended period of time 7+ years ago, “sexting” wasn’t really a thing yet. Heck, many of us didn’t have smart phones, which meant sending a text that said “R U There Yet?” required that you to press multiple keys, like, 18 bazillion times. Telling someone over text “I want to bend you over the conference room table, pull up your skirt and cover your mouth to muffle your screams of pleasure” was a major time commitment, and something only reserved for people that were worth risking developing Carpal Tunnel syndrome over. However, now it seems like texting and it’s (at times) creepy cousin sexting, is the primary mode of communication in the dating arena. After Small Town Cop asked me over text about my “nether regions” following our first date, I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe all this technology is actually harming our love lives more than anything. Seriously, what’s the deal with sexting?!

To get to the bottom of this issue, I’ve decided to call on my friend Liz from No Strings Dating to give her take on sexting. Take it away Liz!

Truth be told, I’ve never really been that big a fan of sexting. Maybe a little bit here and there, when stuck at work or in traffic I’d send off a racy text, or more likely when the guy on the receiving end of said sext is in an important meeting or hanging out with the boys. What can I say? It keeps things interesting. Interesting, yes. Sexy? Not so much. I’m actually of the belief that sexting regularly can ruin your real life sex life. Here’s why.

First of all, some people are big talkers. It’s super easy to pick up your phone and type out what you want to do to someone when you see them. But all too often people simply can’t deliver on the sexts they send. It might seem like a really hot (and sexy!) idea to text your guy and tell him that you are going to rock his world all night long, baby or that you just love giving head more than life itself, but after a long day of work maybe you just want to cuddle-which would have been perfectly ok if you hadn’t promised otherwise. My general life rule-sexual or otherwise-is to manage not just my expectations but the ones of those around me. In my opinion, it is WAY hotter to have my fiance’ walk through the door thinking it’s going to be another boring night of Modern Family on the couch and surprise him with a can of whipped cream and naked twister, than it is to just talk about it all day and then fall short of his expectations.

Sexing also harms your connection as a couple. Technology is great for maintaining a connection with family and friends, but it doesn’t do much for a relationship-granted, if you’re in a long distance romance that is another story. But generally speaking, if you see your partner everyday, you shouldn’t feel the need to text them all that much about things other than asking if they could pleasepleaseplease stop by the store for tampons and a snickers bar-just me? But I mean, why wouldn’t you just talk to them face to face? Or at least call them on your lunch break if you’re horny and have phone sex in the car like a civilized person. (PS while I am a total sexing hater, phone sex is something I can totally get behind). While it might feel otherwise, sexting actually builds a false sense of intimacy. It feels like a “safe” way to express yourself sexually, but hiding behind an iPhone isn’t going to get you a one way ticket to orgasm city.

These days, relationships start via text and end via text. I have friends who get into intense arguments with their boyfriends via text, and it never seems to occur to them to pick up the damn phone and call each other…or even better, suggest meeting somewhere face to face to hash it out. The best sex is the kind that strips you bare and leaves you a bit vulnerable. If you feel like sexting is the easy or safe way to let your partner know what you like or what you want, try whispering it in his ear instead. Or better yet, showing him exactly what you mean.

It’s not to say that sexting can’t be a fun add-on to an already satisfying sex life, and there is nothing wrong with texting your boyfriend a naughty one liner (just make sure you send it to the right person) as long as you put more, much more, emphasis on your face to face interactions. Think of sexting as the sprinkles on an already delicious cupcake. It’s just a little something something extra…but you really don’t need it, and it’s not what you notice when you take a big bite. Yes, I did just compare sex to a cupcake. In related news, why yes I am pmsing.

Liz is the social media manager at We Love Dates and No Strings Dating. She writes, tweets and thinks about love and sex all the live long day. In her spare time, she watches way too much reality TV and has a slight obsession with chips, salsa and margaritas.

What do you guys think about sexting?

Review & Giveaway | Three Months of Pleasure From Lucky Bloke

Dickbombing is the New Hello

When Bad Sex Happens to Good People

Review | The Fantasy Box – Sexy Subscription

How Sexting Can Ruin Your Sex Life

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