Sex Archives - Page 15 of 18

My best friend and I always joke about our differing taste in men. She’s always liked the guys who were good at gym class (jocks) where I have always been more attracted to the guys who were smoking and setting stuff on fire when they should have been in gym class. As a kid I would watch re-runs of Happy Days and would reenact elaborate song & dance sequences from Grease and Westside Story. As a teen when most of my friends were hanging up posters of dimpled nice guys like Scott Wolf, I found myself gravitating more towards the likes of James Dean and Johnny Depp. If you want my lady parts to start tingling, give me a social outcast in a leather jacket that’s well-prepared for a knife fight. So, when I found out there was a vibrator named “Fonzie” (named after one of the most famous leather clad bad-asses around) I knew I had to try it. After all, the Fonz was always popular with the ladies.

The Fonzie G-spot and Clitoral vibrator is a dual stimulation toy from Feelztoys. This little purple guy is made of 100% of silicone – a body safe material that has the soft and velvety feel of skin. It is hypoallergenic and Phthalates free. Fonzie’s shaft is curved to help stimulate your G-Spot and also includes a little nubby bit for clitoral stimulation. The toy has seven different vibration settings that you can easily cycle through to experience different sensations. If you want to take this toy into the bath or shower you can because it’s completely waterproof! At approximately 5 1/2 inches long, Fonzie is a smaller sized (read: non-intimidating) toy that actually packs a lot of punch.

Fonzie took a little bit of getting used to however, once I did, I’ve really enjoyed using this toy. The important thing to understand about this toy is that if you are looking for a Rabbit Vibrator (dual stimulation toy that you can use inside and out) this probably isn’t the toy for you. Fonzie is not a classic Rabbit vibrator.However, if you want a good G-Spot vibrator, with a little bit extra, you will probably like what Fonzie has to offer.

I think we’ve all been in the situation where you’re in bed with someone for the first time and they’re totally hot, you’re turned on but yet somehow the sex just. isn’t. working. It’s like a big tangle of awkward limbs and even though you’re shifting your hips, moving your legs, trying to find a position that works, it just feels like maybe your bodies just don’t line up properly. This is kind of what my first experience using Fonzie was like. I think what threw me off was that the nubby bit that’s meant to stimulate your clit totally didn’t line up with mine. When I was finally able to get it to work for me, the clitoral vibrations weren’t really that strong. Unlike typical Rabbit vibrators where the clitoral stimulator usually has a motor of its own, Fonzie’s clitoral arm is attached to the shaft so you are basically just getting residual vibrations from the rest of the toy, not intense stimulation. If you need a lot of clitoral stimulation to get off, this toy might not be for you. You should instead check out something like this or like this.

The upside? As a G-Spot vibrator this toy is quite awesome. The curved shape hits all the right spots and the vibrations were strong enough to get me off several times in a row. Fonzie’s ribbed texture also feels really good. I love that you can cycle through the different vibration settings with ease – a feature I love about my Lelo Mona. Overall I was impressed with the design and quality of this toy, given it’s reasonable price point of $39.99.

Who I would recommend this toy to: This toy would be great for someone who maybe already has another vibrator but is looking to add something specifically for the G-Spot to their toy collection. It’s a great option for anyone who is looking for a vibrating alternative to the Lelo Ella but one that is more user friendly than the Candy Cane vibe. This would also be a fun toy for couples who are looking to mix things up a bit.

A Fonz FYI: This toy takes two AAA batteries (those little tiny ones that fit in your TV remote). Make sure you have some in stock. When Fonzie arrived on my doorstep, I immediately tore off all of his packaging only to realize once I was in the bedroom that I didn’t have the right kind of batteries. Before I could play with him I had to run out to the convenience store. As I was anxiously purchasing my AAA’s, the elderly Korean man who runs the place gave me a look that totally said “Honey, we know what you are up to.” Don’t do what I do. The more I spend time with Fonzie, the more I like him. My opinion has gone from: This:

to THIS: Thanks to Fonzie there have been some “Happy Days” over at chez Skinny Dip. Actually I think this accurately sums up my week of “rocking and rolling” (again & again & again) with Fonzie:

“The weekend comes, my cycle hums…ready to race to you!”

OK, now that I have officially shattered more childhood memories, which sex toys are you interested in seeing reviewed on Skinny Dip?

*The Fonzie vibrator was provided to me by Eden Fantasys free of charge in exchange for my honest assessment of the product.

Last week I was sitting at home doing some writing when the doorbell rang. I opened the door to a UPS guy wearing questionably short, shorts and reflective aviator sunglasses.

“Are you Simone?”

“Yes, that’s me”

“I have big package here for you”

MY LELO ELLA FROM EDEN FANTASYS HAD ARRIVED! I thanked him for the delivery and excitedly went back inside my apartment.

(My boyfriend’s comment later that day: “You’re the only person I know whose life actually sounds like the opening scene of a porno“)

I was really excited to review the Lelo Ella because when it comes to function and beautiful design, Lelo sex toys really are the creme de la creme. Finding out you get to review one for free is kind of like someone telling you “Hey, we have this Rolls Royce we want you to test drive and don’t worry about ever returning it…ever”

The Lelo Ella is double ended luxury dildo designed to help stimulate the hard to reach G-Spot area. It’s made of 100% medical grade silicone (which means it’s completely safe for your lady parts…. or, man parts!) and it has a soft, smooth, velvety texture. This toy does not vibrate. Instead, it has two different ends which are made to stimulate different pressure points. The squared off end is designed specifically to reach your G-Spot, whereas the longer rounded end is for multipurpose stimulation. Because this toy is made of silicone, remember to always use a non-silicone water-based lubricant so as to not damage the texture of the toy. If you are looking for a great water based lube for sensitive lady parts, this one is totally awesome.

Like all Lelo toys, the luxury experience begins with the packaging. Ella is packaged in a minimalist black box and comes with a satin carrying pouch – both of which are elegant storage options. Considering most Lelo toys are in the $100+ range, the Ella which is priced at $39.99 provides the Lelo experience without breaking the bank.

So, I get that it’s pretty…what exactly do you do with it? One of the nice things about the Lelo Ella is that its incredibly versatile. It’s a great toy for solo play or for couples. It’s really up to you how you want to use it. It can be used on its own, in combination with a small clitoral vibe or while your partner goes down on you during foreplay. (FYI. If you can find someone who’s a good multi-tasker, I highly recommend option C).

At first I was a little skeptical about the Lelo Ella because I’ve never used a toy that doesn’t vibrate but I was very pleasantly surprised. This toy does an excellent job of stimulating the G-Spot. The squared off end of the toy took a bit more getting used to but I found both ends provided different but equal pleasurable results. Unlike the Candy Cane vibrator, the Ella is way easier to insert and maneuver. It’s not too big, its not too small, its just right.

I would recommend the Lelo Ella to anyone who is looking to discover the elusive G-Spot (its real! It exists! I promise!) You might have to play around with this toy a bit to figure out which end works best for you but once you figure it out..all I can say is “WOW”. I think one of the other Eden Fantasys reviewers said it best when describing this toy: “Hurricane Ella will likely result in earthquakes and tsunamis all across the southern seaboard” Because of the “extreme pleasurable weather conditions” associated with Ella, you might not want to use this little purple guy on your freshly washed sheets (I’m just saying)

Just as a heads up – if you are going to be experimenting with both ends, especially if you are using lube with this toy, I would suggest picking one end first and then switching only once you have had a chance to wash the toy off. Immediately switching from one end to the other is kind of like trying to play catch with a peeled banana that’s been dipped in cooking oil. It’s slippery. Very slippery.

Lastly, one more thing I love about this toy is its discreet design. Ella is great for people who don’t want a toy that looks like a giant purple penis. To quote the boyfriend:

“I’m not intimidated by this. It’s more like a giant, enhanced pleasure finger”

Well put.

Because it doesn’t vibrate, Ella is the perfect toy for traveling. You could stash this little guy in your carry-on luggage and never have to worry about any embarrassing moments in the security line-up like, having to explain why your luggage is vibrating. In fact, the Ella is so neutral looking, some people might not even think its a sex toy at all.

However, just in case you encounter a really nosy TSA agent who is dead set on ransacking through your luggage, before I played with this toy I came up with a few helpful tips on how to explain away your Lelo Ella.

“It’s not a Dildo….It’s….”

“Part of a balanced diet”

“Great for preventing writers cramp”

The latest pretentious looking phone: “Oh my god, I can’t believe he said that!”

“I was like NO WAY and he was like WAY“

or, my favorite: ” a post-modern shoe horn”

Did I mention the Lelo Ella is also dishwasher safe? Because it is. It’s also boilable, bleachable and it will make you a sandwich after you’re finished with it. I may be kidding about the last one however, I am convinced this toy has superpowers.

It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! It’s a Super Dildo.

Final destination: Simone’s toy drawer.What do you guys think? What are you interested in seeing reviewed next?

As an FYI, your suggestions really do matter. Ella was sent to me because Teacher Girl commented that she was interested in knowing more about Lelo toys. So, if there is something you are interested in seeing reviewed on Skinny Dip, please comment or drop me a line!

Also, if you have any questions that you are not comfortable talking about in the comments section (regarding this post or a previous one), please email me! I’d be happy to chat & answer any questions you may have.

*The Lelo Ella was provided to me by Eden Fantasys in exchange for my honest assessment of the product.

When Eden Fantasy’s asked me if I would be interested in reviewing the Candy Cane G-spot vibrator, what popped into my head was: “It would be really funny if it actually looked like a Candy Cane” Then, I opened the link and voila….!

A few weeks later, the toy that looks like everyone’s favorite Christmas candy landed on my doorstep. Even though its the middle of summer, the festive packaging still got me as excited as a kid on Christmas morning.

The Specs:

The Candy Cane G-Spot vibrator by Doc Johnson is a multi-speed, waterproof, phthalates free vibrator made of Tempered Glass. Yes, you heard right. GLASS. My first thought was, “I’m supposed to put THAT…THERE?!” but, as soon as I held the toy in my hand I was less nervous. The toy has a similar sturdy feel to a Pyrex baking dish. I know that doesn’t sound very sexy but, this toy is made of food grade materials which means it’s completely safe for your girl parts and hypoallergenic – making it a great choice for people who are super sensitive.

The toy is controlled by one easy to use button, has three speeds, and takes only one AA battery. As you can see from the photo, it also has some red candy-like ribbing designed to hit certain pleasure points (I’ll explain about those in a minute!)

It retails at a very affordable $32.99.

Taking off the Wrapper:

The Candy Cane G-Spot vibrator is a very esthetically pleasing toy and I really, really wanted to like it. But, the first time I used it by myself I was a bit disappointed. The vibrations felt nice but they just weren’t strong enough to get me off. I’ve used other G-Spot vibrators before but I didn’t find that the Candy Cane did much for my G-Spot initially. The red ribbing that’s meant to increase the pleasure just felt kind of awkward and bumpy. If you are looking for a toy for solo play that has powerful vibrations and will get you off quickly, I wouldn’t recommend the Candy Cane. Instead, I would suggest something more along the lines of the True Love Honey Bunny. However, if you are super sensitive to vibrations and want something very gentle, you’d probably like what the Candy Cane has to offer.

Candy is for Sharing:

So, who WOULD enjoy this toy? COUPLES!

Woo’ed by this toy’s cute packaging, I was determined to give it a second chance. I called upon my boyfriend, who happily agreed to join in on the play session. Let’s just say- the Candy Cane vibe is much more fun with two people. I would suggest using it as a teaser during foreplay or inserting it while your partner goes down on you.

Just like you wouldn’t stuff a whole candy cane in your mouth and start to chew, this toy should be enjoyed at a leisurely pace. Don’t expect instant gratification- the more you move it around inside you, the more the pleasure actually increases. I can’t even explain exactly what the red ribbing does, except that its quite magical. After a lot of build up, I eventually just blanked out and was transported to la-la land. Sugar plum faeries were dancing and I was desperately clinging to my headboard. It was that good.

Now that I think about it, the Candy Cane G-Spot vibrator is actually a lot like Christmas. In November, the holidays still seem in the near future. Then, you notice a wreath here, a candy cane there. Whoa it’s snowing! Wait, when did the malls get so crowded?! Is that a plastic reindeer on my neighbor’s lawn? Oh god, Christmas is getting closer. Really, really close. Christmas is tomorrow! OMG, THERE ARE SO MANY PRESENTS UNDER THE TREE. PRESENTS! PRESENTS! PRESENTS EVERYWHERE! OMG, CHRISTMAS IS HERE! PRESENTS, PRESENTS EVERYWHERE! WRAPPING PAPER IS FLYING ALL OVER THE PLACE. RIBBON IS BEING PULLED. YEAH THAT’S RIGHT, RIP THAT PAPER. COME ON. RIP IT! FUCKING RIP IT! YES! YES! YES! IT’S AN IPAD! NO, ITS TIFANNY’S. ITS BOTH! ITS IPADS FOR EVERYONE! YES! YES! YES! IPAD. IPAD. IPAD. OH YES. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU. THANK YOU. breathe. exhale. After it’s all over there’s a huge mess to clean up but no one cares. Everyone is glowing and happy and then we all go to sleep.

Yes, the Candy Cane vibrator is totally like that.

To recap…

People who would enjoy the Candy Cane G-Spot vibrator:

-People who are very sensitive or have allergies & want something gentle
-Couples looking to spice up their bedroom activities with fun some sex toys.
-The toy user who already “has everything” and wants to try something totally different.
-Christmas enthusiasts.

*The Candy Cane G-Spot vibrator was provided to me by Eden Fantasys in exchange for my honest assessment of the product.

What do you guys think? What are you interested in seeing my review next?

At the end my last year of university I was given the task of writing a 40 page paper on the film Menace II Society as a final project for a 4th year Linguistic Anthropology course. I had to transcribe portions of the film, do a linguistic analysis of them and then relate them back to Anthropological theories. I don’t think anyone should have to watch the film Menace II Society more than two or three times, let alone the 40 times I had to watch the movie in order to write this paper.You know what repeated viewing of this film does to a person? It drives them insane.

So, what’s a girl to do when her head is full of images of gunshot wounds and sociopath teenagers killing each other?

Watch back to back episodes of the show SCRUBS.

Spending some time within the sterile walls of Sacred Heart Hospital with its goofy doctors and even goofier janitors, was the perfect escape from my personal hell of academic papers and fictional urban violence. I’m also of the firm belief that the solution to most problems can be found within one of Zach Braff’s voice-over monologues.

About two months ago I was going through this phase where I had a ton of freelance work to finish but, I felt totally lethargic and uninspired. The solution to this problem was clear:

SCRUBS.

I went online and discovered that there was actually 2 seasons that I had never seen before (SAY WHAT!) which was basically like discovering the TV holy grail. I downloaded all of them and prepared myself to be healed. Eight Zach Braff inspirational monologues later, I felt much better.

The episode that inspired this blog post is called “My Cuz“. In this episode J.D and Elliott discover that their respective exes, Kim and Sean are dating each other. Things are super awkward until J.D says to Sean:

“We’ve slept with the same woman, therefore we are Wiener Cousins”

{The Wiener Cousin handshake. “It’s a bond closer than family”}

Later, Elliott decides that this makes her and Kim “Bajingo Sisters“

{Bajingo Sisters. It doesn’t have to be awkward. Or, does it?}

Despite having dated quite a few people, I have only ever met two people who have slept with people I have slept with (that I know of). The first one I don’t really count as a true Bajingo Sister since she dated an ex of mine when they were 14 (I’m pretty sure there wasn’t a whole lot of “quality sex” happening at that age). I met my first real Bajingo Sister when I was in third year university.

On the night in question, I was at a club hanging out with an ex-boyfriend that (at the time) I was trying to maintain a friendship with. It should be noted that after we had broken up, I had a super awkward one night stand with one of our mutual friends, a guy that we will call Chandler. At one point during the evening my ex grabbed my arm and pulled me towards a group of people. He then introduced me to a very pretty girl with long dark brown hair.

“Simone this is Natalia”

Natalia was Chandler’s ex – a girl he’d often reminisce about, giving me the impression that she was “the one who got away”. We had never met.

My ex, never one to be known for his tact, added:

“Natalia, this is Simone…SHE’S HAD SEX WITH CHANDLER TOO”

I was a deer caught in headlights. If there was ever a moment where I wanted to be teleported out of my own life, it was this one.

Once the awkward laughter subsided, Natalia and I started talking and we hit it off right away.
We made plans to hang out in the near future.

A few weeks later, we went for dessert & coffee in Little Italy.

Natalia was exactly as Chandler had described her: gorgeous. She had long dark brown hair, olive skin and big brown eyes. She is still one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen in person. Natalia was well-spoken, intelligent, thoughtful and all around, quite lovely. Over dessert, we chatted about our lives until eventually we could no longer ignore the elephant in the gelato shop:

her: “So….how was he?”

Me: “Some of the worst sex I’ve ever had. It wasn’t just him. It was also me. It was just awkward. You?”

her: “To be honest, we dated so long ago, I don’t really remember”

We both burst out laughing.

I think Natalia and I hung out a few times that summer before we drifted apart – something that happens when two people have really busy schedules and don’t know each other well enough yet to keep up the momentum of a new friendship.

Our bond may not have been “stronger than family” like Dr. John Dorian suggested it would be but, I like to think my Bajingo Sister was pretty cool.

***
I came to realize that the ex who had introduced me to my Bajingo Sister had a knack for creating awkward situations. A year later I received the following phone call:

“Hey Simone, I want you to come for dinner with me, my Gay Lover and my Mom“

SCRUBS DID NOT PREPARE ME FOR THIS!

I panicked.

What would I call my ex’s new boyfriend? Would we be WIENER SISTERS? BAZINGO BROS? PENIS COMRADES? SISTERHOOD OF MY EX-BOYFRIEND’S TRAVELLING SEXUALITY?

In this case, “So…how was he?” was a question I wasn’t ready to hear the answer to. Oh & HIS MOM WAS GOING TO BE THERE.

As much as I wanted to be supportive with this new direction his life was taking, even I have limits for how much awkwardness I can endure.

I decided that this was one dinner invitation that I would have to politely decline.

Meeting your Wiener Cousin or Bajingo Sister doesn’t have to be awkward, but it inevitably is to a certain degree.

What do you guys think?

It’s time for another episode of “When Sex Toys go Hilariously Wrong“. The theme today is “just because its more expensive does not mean it’s better or any less creepy”

Recently, a company called Scarlet Armour launched a new range of very high end “sex toys for bold women”. The limited edition collection features dildos, vibrating eggs, ticklers and whips made out materials such as gold, platinum, diamonds, precious gems, oak, and human hair. (Yes, you read that right – don’t worry, I’ll get to that). Prices range from $38,000 for the Eternity Dildo to a more affordable (ha) $2500 for one of the whips.

I don’t think any of these toys top the tiny hot pink penis from a few weeks ago but, I can’t afford anything on this page so, I’m going to make fun of them anyways….because some of this stuff is just CRAYYY-ZAYYY.

1. I’m not sure what the exact name of this product is (since there was no description in the initial article) but, it seems to be a vibrator that is made of gold and encrusted in pearls and jewels. This product made me furrow my brow with questions. Will the metal of the toy warm to the body? Isn’t this going to be a bit um, “chilly” going in? Those jewels don’t look very secure. Will I have to go fishing around up there after for precious gems? It’s pretty but, why is it shaped like a bullet? If you had 40K to spend on a sex toy, wouldn’t you want something like this that was designed to contour a woman’s body & is soft like skin? Then, I read that it was designed by a man and it all made sense.

2. Whips. Made of human hair. Maybe I am over-reacting here but, these kind of creep me out. Here is a conversation I’m not looking forward to having: “Hey honey. I love it when your long hair brushes against my chest when we’re having sex but, you know what I’d like? I’d like you to whip me with someone else’s hair. Preferably, someone we’ve never met…..

…and if you could find something in a nice shade of Clown Hair Red, that would be best“

Looking at these products is like doing a Rorschach test. As soon as I see them I immediately think of something else.

AHHHHHHHHH!

Lastly, we have these two toys:

3. The Eternity Dildo that’s made of oak, platinum & diamonds. My Grandma is naturally a feisty woman who likes take her frustrations out in the kitchen. This object looks almost identical to something I’ve seen her use to violently pit cherries whenever she’s making homemade jam.

Last but, not least there is THIS. Finally, a cock-ring that you can also use as a throwing star when ninjas break into your bedroom. The great thing is that after you’ve defeated the ninjas, you can put it on as jewelery and wear it to a Nine Inch Nails concert.

In other words, its like the sex toy equivalent of the Spishak Snoorpk:

After I added these last two photos into this post I thought; “Hey! I have something in my kitchen that reminds me of both of these things!”

What’s that you ask? That’s the Philip Starck juicer. Sometimes when I actually feel domestic on Saturday mornings, I’ll use it to make fresh squeezed orange juice. It never goes anywhere near anyone’s genitals but, it does make a nice glass of OJ.

That wraps up another episode of “When Sex Toys go Wrong”! What do you guys think of these products? Does anyone else have any bizarre finds that they would like to share?

Oh, Happy Day!

Meet the Lelo Ella aka “Super Dildo”

Christmas "Comes" in July

Bajingo Sisters and Wiener Cousins

When Sex Toys go Hilariously Wrong #2

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