Sex Archives - Page 10 of 18

When the nice people at Rocks-Off Toys offered to send me one of their Rock-Chick vibes I was super excited. I remember seeing the Rock-Chick at Come as You Are a few years ago when I bought my first luxury vibrator and have been curious about it ever since. With a name like Rock-Chick I thought the toy sounded totally bad-ass.

I was hoping that my first toy review for 2013 to be something amazing & totally swoon worthy. For that reason, I really wanted to like this toy. However after trying it twice, I have mixed feelings about it.

Here’s the skinny on the Rock-Chick massager:

Conceived as an alternative to the traditional rabbit vibrator, the Rock-Chick is a 100% body safe, dual function vibe made of silky smooth medical grade silicone. When inserted, the hooked end of the toy is meant to dig in to your g-spot, while the top ribbed portion sits directly on your clit.

The toy is powered by a removable, one speed, battery operated bullet vibrator and features approximately 4.5 inches of insertable length. In theory, if you move this toy inside you with “gentle rocking motions” it will help simulate the feeling of having sex with a real, live, partner.

Once again in theory, the idea behind the Rock-Chick is great. I mean, simultaneous G-Spot and C-Spot sounds awesome right? However, my experience with the toy didn’t exactly “rock.”

Using this toy while lying on my back was a complete FAIL. In this position the toy didn’t line up with my anatomy at all. When inserted, the top half designed for clitoral stimulation reached halfway to my bellybutton – which, contrary to what a guy I slept with in college believed, is NOT where my clitoris is located. Secondly, this toy is meant to be “hands free” however, trying to use this toy without firmly holding on to it was like trying to attach a paper-clip to an enormous stack of papers. As soon as I let go, the Rock-Chick flew halfway across the bed. Luckily I was alone, or this thing could have seriously given someone a black eye!

Because the toy doesn’t actually have it’s own motor and is powered by a small removable bullet, I also found the vibrations were very weak. The vibrations did not travel well throughout the toy and were barely perceptible where it counts: on the tip designed for G-Spot stimulation.

With name like Rock Chick I was expecting orgasms of the same magnitude as Axel Rose trashing a hotel room, the kind of orgasms that would make even Mick Jagger blush… but alas, no dice. The experience left me wondering why this toy is popular in the first place. Was I missing something?

Determined to make it work, I went on the EdenFantasys to read about other people’s experience with the toy. One of the reviewers suggested for best results you should try using the toy while sitting up and/or grinding against a pillow or the side of the bed.

Although the thought of humping a pillow seemed kind of undignified, as someone who enjoys being on top, I have to admit I found the toy much more pleasurable in this position. The toy fit much better with my anatomy and the rocking motion created a pleasurable sensations, especially along the ridged section designed for C-Spot stimulation. However, there’s still something awkward about the design of this toy. After a few minutes of “rocking out” the ridged texture of the toy just became annoying and felt like it was digging into my pubic bone – not fun.

I do think this toy would be really fun to use while pleasuring your partner orally. The vibrations are just enough of a tease to make things interesting while you uh, make things interesting for someone else. However, given the fact that I am still sifting through guys who own rotating tie racks and bizarre costume collections, I don’t see that scenario playing out any time in the super near future. Until then, in the toy box the Rock-Chick shall stay.

(Even if I did find myself in that situation, I think I’d probably grab the We-Vibe 3 – a smaller, more discreet toy with multiple vibration settings that I already know works really well with my anatomy.)

Edit: a couple of people asked me about the toy’s size. To give you an idea, here’s a photo of the Rock-Chick side by side with the We-Vibe and my favourite tube of NARS lipstick.

While doing some research online, I learned that reviews of the Rock-Chick have been overwhelmingly mixed. Some people love it. Some people hate it. My opinion falls somewhere in the middle. If it fits with your anatomy, this toy has the potential to be awesome. However, if it doesn’t – like my experience – the toy simply doesn’t rock.

The toy that was meant to make me feel like this:

Left me feeling more like this….

In other words, it wasn’t the epic guitar solo I was hoping for.

Has anyone else tried the Rock-Chick?

*I received the Rock-Chick free in exchange for my honest review of the product. All opinions are my own.

Making love on roses and panties on sex kittens
Bright silver dildos and vibrating mittens
Black and pink lace lingerie tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Pink coloured panties and crisp spanking paddles
Cock rings and geisha balls and locking suction handles
Orgasms that make you fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white negligees with blue satin sashes
Pretty makeup that stays on my lips and eyelashes
Silver white crotchless panties that make him melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When my love life bites
When the cold weather stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad!

Why yes, I do have a lot of favourite things!

As many of you know, another one of my favourite things is the show How I Met Your Mother. Recently I was watching the episode “Stamp Tramp” and it dawned on me that I give out my “stamp of approval” often on this blog – especially when it comes to the adult toys and sexy lingerie that I review on a regular basis. I try to always keep things positive and upbeat on this blog and I actually do really enjoy most of the products that I review. However, tis’ the season for looking back over the past year, so I thought I would share with you some of my very favourite products – the ones that I LOVE with a capital “L” and have recommended to my very best girlfriends. Some of my choices probably won’t surprise you however, some might!

1. The Lelo Insignia Soraya: I couldn’t finish off 2012 without giving one more shout-out to my favourite vibrator of all time. Finding a vibe that works for you is sometimes hit and miss, but this one fits the contours of my body perfectly and hits all of the right places…. again & again & again. You can read my original review of the toy here. The Lelo Insignia Soraya is everything that I look for in a luxury sex toy and then some: It’s body safe, rechargeable, beautifully designed and offers a wide variety of deep, powerful vibrations. If I had to choose a sex toy to take to a deserted island, it would be the Lelo Soraya because the experience is always amazing every single time.

2. The Lelo Ina 2: Whether you are looking to buy your first vibrator or update your toy collection, this is the go-to vibrator that I recommend to all my girlfriends. It includes all the features that you come to expect from Lelo products: It’s body safe, rechargeable, beautifully designed and powerful. With the Ina 2.0, Lelo have updated their original design to include a more flexible clitoral arm and increased girth & length for a fuller experience; thus solving the minor issues I had with the Ina 1.0. Use it externally, internally or both at the same time…either way, you can’t go wrong with this one.

3. The We-Vibe Touch: Although I’m not a huge fan of the We-Vibe 3 couples vibrator (I find it a bit awkward to use during sex), I absolutely love The We-Vibe Touch, their small clitoral vibrator. At 3.75 inches long, this little guy is roughly the size of a tube of lip gloss, however it’s surprisingly powerful. It has all the hallmarks of a toy box favourite: it’s made of body safe silicone, is rechargeable and fully waterproof (holla!) I know what you’re probably thinking, “Didn’t she say the exact same thing about the Jimmyjane Form 2 just a few weeks ago?!” Yes, I did more or less. Whereas I find the Form 2 almost too intense on some of the higher settings, the vibrations offered by the We-Vibe Touch are just perfect: deep, rumbling, but never uncomfortable. This is the perfect toy to use for extra stimulation while having sex with your partner or for squeal inducing foreplay/after-play. If you can past the fact that it looks like a goofy cartoon tongue, this toy is a real gem.

4. Cake Dry Shampoo: The truth about being a freelance writer and working from home is that it involves a lot of unwashed hair. Given the option of meeting a deadline or hopping in the shower, I almost always chose to shower later. (I should put that on my resume: “will forgo bathing in favour of productivity”) Although I do shower daily (I swear!) I find my hair is way more manageable when I only wash it every 2-3 days. The Satin Sugar Hair and Body Powder by Cake is truly a godsend for people like me. The first time I used it I tested it on my hair that hadn’t been washed in 3 days. I shook out a small amount of powder, massaged it into my hair, focusing on the roots. It looked a bit chalky at first but within a few minutes it had turned my greasy, limp locks into tussled beachy waves that were delicately scented with just a hint of vanilla. This stuff is kind of magic.

(It comes in a formula for both light and dark hues. I obviously used the dark on my hair)

5. Striped boy shorts by Oh La La Cheri : I discovered the Oh La La Cheri line of lingerie this summer and fell in love with their pretty and affordable lingerie. My favourite piece by them are these cute boy shorts. With pinstripes and revealing white lace, these panties are all business in the front and a cheeky party in the back.

I was so excited when these arrived in the mail that I immediately showed my Mom. She looked at them and said, “The black tie thing kind of makes me think of…chicken” Then she explained what she had in mind:

I’ve since dubbed these my Colonel Saunders panties. As disturbing as that analogy is, I do have to admit they look really, really good on. One might even say “finger lickin’ good” – the Colonel’s words, not mine.

If you are interested in checking out the rest of my favourites, I’ve created an area on my righthand sidebar that features my “must-have” sexy products. It will be updated regularly as I discover new gems!

This post was brought to you by EdenFantasys. I received a gift certificate to fund the expansion of my already exploding lingerie drawer in exchange for this post. All opinions are my own because that’s how I roll.

Do you have any favourite products you’ve discovered this year? Do share!

It’s been over a year since I wrote an instalment of When Sex Toys Go Hilariously Wrong. Has it really been that long? It seems like just yesterday I was snickering at my laptop as a I wrote a description of the Sukit Draft Fleshlight. I review sex toys often which means I stumble across some pretty weird stuff on a regular basis. I’ve just been stock-piling all of these photos and links to share with you in one big creepy post.

It’s that time of year again when I start thinking about the Holidays and shopping for the people I love. I don’t really have anything on my own Christmas wish-list. I pretty much have everything I need (however, if Santa wants to bring me at home laser hair removal device I wouldn’t object) ‘Tis the Season to make fun of stuff, so here are a few things that I hope don’t find their way under my tree or yours (or anyone’s for that matter). I present:

When Sex Toys Go Hilariously Wrong: Holiday Edition.

1. Barry the Beaver.

I feel like Barry the Beaver almost belongs in a category all of his own, like one called “When Hipsters Make Sex Toys.” Barry the Beaver was created by design nerd Jeremy Fish to be your new “vibrating vinyl friend.” One turn of his tree stump base and he starts vibrating throughout his cute little tubular body. Oh, and did you notice his strategically placed vibrating beaver tail?! I think what’s most disturbing about Barry isn’t that he’s a beaver – I’m no longer surprised by sex toys shaped like animals. It’s that he’s a beaver wearing tightie whities.

2.California Exotics COLT Power Stroker.

Wow, so this seems a little violent. The Colt Power Stroker is a masturbation sleeve “designed for male pleasure”. Grenade. Pleasure. Not seeing the connection. It “blows my mind” (see what I did there?) why any guy would want to put his penis inside something that closely resembles an explosive device – especially when the box says “EXPLODE!” in big bold letters across the front. Why tempt fate?

3. Man Eaters.

Years ago I had this friend with benefits. We’d occasionally hook up, but most of the time we would spend hours on MSN Messenger talking about sex. In my defence, it was the early 2000’s and MSN was the cyber sex platform du jour. Anyways, one night we started discussing blow jobs. He described to me his worst blow job experience: “It was horrible. She used her TEETH!” Now enter the Man Eaters – a male sex toy described as “a unique product with revolutionary design.” To use the Man Easters you just place your johnson in the alien’s gaping, toothy red maw & rev ‘er up!

Seriously, what’s with all these terrifying toys for men? Guys, do you secretly desire to be pleasured by something that looks like it’s out of Little Shop of Horrors?! The way I see it, the Man Eaters is basically my former booty call’s worst nightmare all wrapped up in Toys R’ Us style packaging – teeth and all. Considering he and I are no longer on speaking terms, someone should really send him this for Christmas.

4. Oh Oui Pink Banana.

Why yes, that’s a vibrator shaped like a hot pink banana. Who am I kidding?! This is awesome! Or should I say utterly “appealing”

5. “Bodyfluid” Lubricant

I’m all about using lube in the bedroom and this one by innovative sex toy company Fun Factory is probably quite awesome – IF it didn’t have the worst possible name EVER. But don’t worry, as the packaging explains it’s “For Lovers” (not haters?) Seriously though, if I was over at a guy’s house and noticed he had a can of something labeled “Bodyfluid” in his bathroom I’d grab my panties and run for the hills. Two questions: Does it come with a free box of Kleenex? And, is this product associated with my local internet cafe?

6. Cock Cologne.

“I love how the muscled chicken lifting weights on the packaging of this penis spray makes me feel super masculine” – said no man ever. Containing purified water, Aloe extract and a bunch of other ingredients, this “intimate male lotion” is designed to freshen things up downstairs before you get down. Oh hey, I know something else that does that. It’s called a shower.

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There’s nothing like coming home after being away for a month to find new sex toys waiting for you!

Trying a toy made by the iconic company Jimmyjane has been on my “to-do” list for a while. I was super thrilled when Katrina from Ohhh Canada offered to send me my very own Jimmy Jane Form 2 vibrator to review for you guys (Thanks Katrina!!). Small in stature and shaped like a pair of bunny ears, this little vibe is quite the superstar. The Jimmyjane Form 2 won the Fleshbot Sex Toy of the Year Award in 2010, is the recipient of an International Design Excellence Award (IDEA) and was honoured by the The Chicago Athenaeum: Museum of Architecture and Design and the European Centre for Architecture Art Design and Urban Studies for Best New Product Design 2010. Good looking and an overachiever?! You almost want to hate her except she gives you really, really great orgasms.

The Jimmyjane Form 2 is a luxury vibe par excellence – extremely powerful, and extremely well made. Designed to be used externally as a clitoral stimulator, the Form 2 has TWO motors (one in each “ear”) which allow it to offer vibrations and pulsating patterns with intensity unlike any other toy on the market. This is all very impressive considering the toy is barely taller than a tube of lipstick.

Before I tried the Form 2, I initially wrote it off as “just another clitoral vibrator” but was I wrong! The Form 2 packs some very serious punch. What’s interesting about this toy is that different areas of the toy offer different sensations. You can use one ear or two, just the tips or gently pinch your clit between the ears, for a sensation that feels pretty freaking amazing.

The toy features 4 different vibration modes (I’m personally a fan of the “pulsating” vibration settings) and 5 different power levels that range from pleasant to extremely intense. As someone who usually has to crank their toys to the max, the 2nd level of the Form 2 is more than enough to get me off…and then some. Here’s a breakdown of how I experienced the different levels of the Form 2:

Level 1: “This feels nice”

Level 2: “Oh yesssssss”

Level 3: “SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS”

Level 4: “OMFG WTF”

Level 5: “OMFG JIDHRTUBN WHATTT FMBSRVDB$%$%% LOST. ABILITY. TO. COMPUTE. 45WR3RY###”

I noticed that there’s a huge jump in intensity from level 2 to level 3, with the higher levels being extremely intense and well, kind of insane. Need a lot of stimulation to get off? The Form 2 has got you covered.

I should also note that not only is the Form 2 free of phthalates and made of body safe silicone, it’s also completely waterproof which means you can take it with into the bath or shower – either alone or with a buddy (woo hoo!) It’s also completely rechargeable and comes with a cute little recharging dock.

My Form 2 next to my beloved NARS “Red Lizard” lipstick.

Who I would recommend this toy to:

– Owners of lacklustre vibrators who are looking for a serious upgrade.

– People who enjoy strong vibrations and/or already own something like the Hitachi Magic Wand but want something smaller and with more finesse.

-Couples! The Form 2 is ultra discreet and non-phallic looking, which makes it the perfect toy to introduce into your bedroom play. A lot of women aren’t able to come from penetration alone. The Form 2 is great to use while you go down on your partner, or while you have sex doggy style (or in any other position really!) You can also use it to stimulate male parts, nipples and other erogenous zones!

-Anyone who wants a well-rounded clitoral vibrator that’s beautifully designed, ultra discrete, has lots of vibration options, and comes with a three year warrantee.

At $129 the Jimmyjane Form 2 is on the slightly more expensive side, however as someone who has amassed quite the toy collection I would say that it’s worth it’s price tag. This toy is sure to make you feel good things in your bathing suit area. The Form 2 has now joined the ranks of my Lelo toys as one of my favourite playthings.

Has anyone else tried the Form 2? What did you think?

The Jimmyjane Form 2 was provided to me by Ohhh Canada free of charge in exchange for my honest assessment of the product. All opinions and awkward anecdotes are my own. PS. If you’re looking to score some awesome deals, make sure you check out Ohhh Canada’s Black Friday & Cyber Monday Deals! (Lelo products, lingerie and premium lube for cheap…um, count me in!)

When you’ve been in a long-term, committed relationship you forget certain things about what it’s like to be single. For example, what it’s like to wake up in a guy’s bed for the first time with only last night’s outfit to wear home. My ex once told me that he liked how I dealt with our first “morning after” together:

“You were scrambling around my apartment trying to locate your underwear. When you realized you only had the pair you’d worn over to my place you said “fuck it!” – you flipped them inside out, and put them on anyways before calling a cab.”

“I did not do that?! Eww, I feel gross for my younger self”

“No it was actually kind of a turn on. I realized then that you were laid back and low-maintenance, which is a good thing”

Although my ex remembers the moment was sexy and humorous, I still cringe whenever I think about it.

In my advanced age I’ve realized that what was once bearable at 23 (sleeping in last night’s makeup, eyes scratchy from falling asleep wearing contacts, last night’s underwear) just isn’t cute at 32. Now that I’m older and marginally wiser, I hate being caught unprepared. I was reminded of this earlier this year when I stayed over at Handsome Guy‘s house, and had a moment of panic when I realized that I was without my trusty Dr Hauschka Moisturizer and Kiehl’s Avocado Eyecream. In my case, along with greater age and wisdom comes a higher maintenance beauty routine.

No one likes to wake up feeling gross, so I thought I’d share with you the “Skinny Dip Sleepover Survival Kit” I’ve put together. If I have the slightest inkling that I might not be sleeping in my own bed, I make sure I pack my toothbrush plus the following items before leaving the house.

1. Condoms: With the exception of a 35 year old guy I encountered who didn’t have any condoms because he thought they were “too impersonal” (and who was clearly living in the 1970’s), single 30-something guys who actually want to get laid tend to keep condoms on hand (hooray!) With that said, I still think it’s wise to bring your own just in case. I love the selection of top-of-the-line condoms that Luckybloke carries (the Glyde Strawberry Ultra aka, “The Official Skinny Dip Condom” is A-MAZING.) Because variety is the spice of life, I totally recommend picking up one of their Condom Sampler 6 packs to prepare for your next overnight mission.

2. Facial Cleansing wipes: If I could give any teen or 20-something skin care advice it’s this: always remove your makeup before bed. Your face will thank you in ten years. However, carrying around a bottle of cleanser can be cumbersome and messy. That’s why facial cleansing cloths that remove dirt and make-up in one sweep like these ones by Neutrogena
are great in a pinch. Not to mention, they’re flat and travel well.

3. Mini bottle of moisturizer: Although I’m pretty comfortable with how I look without make-up on, if I don’t moisturize before I go to bed I look ill in the morning. I recommend bringing a travel sized amount of moisturizer in your survival kit (this is a great way to use up all the free samples you get from Kiehls or another beauty counter!) Although I swear by Dr Hauschka Moisturizer, I’m also a fan of Neutrogena Naturals Multi-Vitamin Nourishing Moisturizer. It’s free of allergens and harsh chemicals, inexpensive, comes in a travel friendly container and doubles as a hand & body lotion in a pinch.

4. Contact Solution and glasses: There’s almost nothing worse than falling asleep while wearing your contacts because you don’t have the proper products to remove them (or are too drunk on orgasms or booze… or both… to care) Even if I’m just heading over to a friend’s place to watch a movie I always bring a small container of contact lens fluid, my contact case and my glasses in case my eyes get dry. Besides, girls in glasses are sexy.

5. Earplugs: Say what?! YES, I SAID EARPLUGS. Since I’ve already shared my inside out underwear story, I might as well admit that I sleep with earplugs all night, ‘errrrrry night. The habit started when I lived in an apartment located on a very busy street and I kept it up when I fell in love and moved in with a snorer. Now I can’t fall asleep without them in my ears. Feel free to judge and talk about me all you want, I WON’T BE ABLE TO HEAR YOU.

6. Medication: Oh wait! There is something worse than waking up with scratchy contacts: waking up and realizing that you are without your morning dose of birth control/acne medication/xanax/brain drugs/what have you. For your own sanity and peace of mind, don’t leave home without them.

7. Foldable shoes: If you insist on leaving the house in five inch heels, I would suggest packing a pair of foldable shoes like these Sidekicks Womens Foldable Ballet Flats to make your walk of shame a little classier.

8. Ahem, “personal” wipes: Straight talk ladies – if you’re in a rush or have the misfortune of hooking up with a guy whose shower actually scares you*, sometimes you just need a little something to “freshen up the bits.” For this kind of situation I would suggest the EdenFantasys Toy and Body Wipes. They’re convenient, affordable and will leave you feeling so fresh & so clean.

*If you’re scared to touch the soap in a someone’s bathroom, you should not be dating this person.

9. An extra pair of panties: As someone who likes to change her underwear multiple times throughout the day, I say that there’s no shame in making sure you have an extra pair of underwear on hand. For maximum comfort and transportability, might I suggest a stretch lace thong by Cosabella, Hanky Panky or a reasonable imitation. Super comfy & folds up into a tiny ball? WIN/WIN!

10. If you pack wisely, you should be able to stash everything away in a cute case that says “I’m not a slut. I’m sex goddess with discerning taste who’s prepared for anything”

( The Benefit Cosmetics Gabbi Makeup Bag – J’adore!)

PS. This isn’t a sponsored post. I just thought it would be fun and possibly helpful to share some of my favorite things!

Did I miss anything? What’s in your sleepover survival kit?

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Review | Size Doesn’t Matter: Meet the Jimmyjane Form 2

The Big Girl’s Sleepover Survival Kit