Is That a Vibrator in Your Pants or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

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For my last sex toy review of 2015, I’ve decided to tackle that age old question “yo, why are your pants buzzing?” and review the Jimmyjane Form 1: a wearable, remote control vibrator designed to be worn inside your underwear.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve always been a bit skeptical of those vibrating panty sets that you often come across in sex toy stores. Either the panties look sketchy, the vibrator looks cheap or both. However, when I found out that Jimmyjane had come out with their own version – a vibrator that can be worn inside the underwear of your choice (*BYOP – bring your own panties?) I was intrigued. One of my favourite vibrators – the Form 2 – is made by Jimmyjane. I also like their massage candles. Lucky for me, my friends at Lovehoney hooked me up (thanks guys!)

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So, what exactly do we have here? The Jimmyjane Form 1 is a small, clitoral vibrator made of 100% body-safe silicone that is designed to sit inside your underwear (or as the Brits over at Lovehoney say, “knickers.”) It includes 10 different vibration modes, 5 different intensity levels and a small remote control that works remotely from 32 ft away (given that you’re in direct line of sight).

The Jimmyjane Form 1 is intended as a couple’s toy. You slip it into your knickers, hand them the controls and let the fun begin.

Here’s a few things this toy has going for it –

Quality materials & a remote that actually works.

Or, rather I should say, “a remote that Simone can actually figure out.” I’ve had bad luck with remote control sex toys in the past. Either the remotes don’t work or they’re too finicky, so I just give up and don’t bother using them. I’m happy to report that this isn’t the case with the Form 1 remote. I was able to figure it out right away and it worked great. Jimmyjane is known for it’s high quality toys and this one is no exception.

You can use this in the underwear of your choice. Alone or with someone else.

Although this is marketed as a couple’s toy, you can also use it solo. Why not? If you feel like stuffing a vibrator down your pants (even if you’re the only one around to enjoy it), go for it. I won’t judge you. Even better, with the Form 1 you’re not restricted to the (potentially) crappy underwear that comes with the toy. You can use your own. It’s *BYOP baby!

It’s relatively compact.

I don’t know if it’s “the world’s slimmest vibrator” like the makers say it is, but it is on the slim side. It’s about a centimetre thick and the length of a lipstick.

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Now here’s a few things that could be better –

The vibrations. 

I was expecting the toe-curling, super strong vibrations of the Form 2, but I found this one fell a little bit short. The vibrations are quite strong on the highest setting, but a bit buzzy. When placed inside my panties, the vibrations felt good (even more so when I walked around, versus stayed seated or standing) but they weren’t enough to really get me off. Outside of my underwear, I was able to get off if I applied a bit of pressure to the toy. My verdict: unless you’re extremely sensitive, this toy is more of a fun appetizer than a main course.

The bend-ability.

The vibrator bends in the middle so you can shape it to your form, however doesn’t stay bent. I’m not sure what’s up with that.

The tiny wetsuit. 

We can’t talk about the Form 1 without mentioning it’s “Stay in Place Panty Sleeve” aka the thing that looks like a tiny wetsuit. Made of neoprene, this little case is meant to keep the toy in place. When I first saw it, I was like, “Aw, how cute! It comes with it’s own little outfit! But, why?!” Good question. Although adorable, there’s a few issues with the “panty sleeve” (does anyone else find that name kind of creepy?)

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1. It’s unnecessary. The vibrator is made of body safe silicone and has a nice grip. I feel like the neoprene sleeve actually gives it less grip.

2. It mutes the vibrations. The neoprene sleeve lessens the feeling of the vibrations while (oddly enough) doing nothing to mute the sound. No, thanks.

3. Laundry issues. Instead of just cleaning the silicone vibe with toy cleaner, if you use the sleeve you  have to put it through the wash after each use. Washing Joe the Intern‘s clothes is enough for me. I don’t need more tiny laundry to do.

(With that said, the neoprene sleeve makes an excellent carrying case. It’s great for when you want to pop the toy in your purse or overnight bag. You just don’t need to use it for it’s intended use.)

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The sound.

The people at Jimmyjane claim that this toy offers “silent vibrations.” LIES! This toy is actually quite loud. In fact, when I turned it on for the first time I actually scared my cat. I feel like this kind of defeats the purpose of it being “discreet.” Even stuffed down your pants, you can hear it. If you were going to wear this in public, you’d have to go somewhere that’s already loud to begin with. A sports bar on Superbowl Sunday? Union Station at Rush Hour? A Rammstein concert? Somewhere with a lot of screaming? Your guess is as good as mine.

The bulge. 

Of all the drawbacks, this is the one that weirded me out the most. This might not be an issue for everyone, but in order to get the vibrator to hit the right spot, I had to place it in a way that created a visible pants bulge in my skinny jeans. Not exactly the look I was going for. I guess for some of us this is  a “skirts only” toy or a “just don’t stuff this down your pants” toy.

The verdict.

After quite a bit of experimentation, the Form 1 just re-confirmed what I’ve always thought about “knicker vibrators” – they’re kind of awkward. The Form 1 isn’t the worst couples toy I’ve ever tried (ahem, I think the Embrace wins this title) but it’s not the best either.

If you’re looking to treat yourself to something sexy that you and your partner can both enjoy, I’d suggest you forgo the remote control vibrating panties all together, and instead invest in one clitoral vibe that works really, really well like the Jimmyjane Form 2, the We-Vibe Touch or the Crave Duet (all of which are awesome sex toys).

Thank you to Lovehoney for this review. I received this toy free of charge in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own because that’s how I roll. 

We Tried It | A Vibrator That Looks Like a Giant Robot Finger

Hey, remember when I said I had a really fun sex toy review up my sleeve? Well, my friends, this one is a doozy.

It all starts on a rainy, stormy night sometime last winter. I was at home, enjoying some solo Netflix and Chill time, when I stumbled across the show Frisky Business. A few hours later, I’d watched the entire first season. In case you haven’t seen it, the reality show provides a fly on the wall look at everything that goes on at Lovehoney headquarters. I’ve been working with Lovehoney for a few years now, so while I’m not usually a fan of reality tv (unless, we’re talking about the TV masterpiece that is Gigolos), it was pretty cool seeing on-screen some of the people I’ve interacted with over the years (hi Caz!)

So, anyway. There’s this great scene where the team is trying to come up with ideas for sex toys and someone suggests attaching a slim dildo onto an electric turkey carving knife. The result is a protype for a vibrator that mimics a giant thrusting finger (you can watch the teaser scene here.) Flash forward a few months and BAM! the ROCKBOX Finger Thrusting Vibrator is born.

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A vibrator that was inspired by an electric turkey carving knife (hey, my grandma has one of those knives!) sounds like either the best or the worst idea ever (but most likely the latter.) Naturally, I was curious. At the beginning of the summer I finally got my hands on my very ROCKBOX Finger Thrusting Vibrator and I’m now ready to share my findings.

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Let’s start by discussing what we have here. The ROCKBOX Finger Thrusting Vibrator is a finger shaped, silicone vibrator that vibrates and “thrusts”  (similar to Fun Factory Stronic Eins, which I reviewed earlier in the year.) The toy is described as “With a strong, thrusting finger that is perfectly shaped to stimulate the G-spot, it’s the ideal sex toy for adventurous women who are curious about the phenomenon of squirting.”

With 5.5 inches of insertable length and 3 thrusting speeds, the Fun Factory Stronic Eins promises to “kick-start your journey to an explosive G-spot orgasm.” Are you intrigued? BECAUSE, I’M INTRIGUED. 51899-06

Now that I have had a chance to ahem, satisfy my curiosity, I will say this: I was right about my initial assessment. The Rockbox Thrusting Finger is both the best thing and the worst thing all at the same time. Let me explain.

Here’s what it has going for it –

  • Power. This toy is powerful AF. It feels like something that belongs in a hardware store, not your bedroom. I actually jumped a little when I turned it on for the first time! Don’t believe me? Watch this video. But, as someone who is perpetually  disappointed with lacklustre & weak-ass toys, the sheer power of Rockbox Thrusting Finger is a huge selling feature. Once you figure out how to use the toy (I’ll get to that in a minute) it feels like you’re getting the fingering of lifetime by the (neon pink) hands of Thor (or equivalent superhero.)  I mean, check out the video…

  • G-spot stimulation. Hits the right spot. Enough said.
  • Fun, cheeky, power tool inspired packaging. You’re either going to love the simple hardware store inspired packaging of this toy or you’re not. I personally think it’s kind of hilarious. The packaging isn’t anything luxurious, however it suits the experience of the toy (see above.) 

Here’s what’s needs improving –

  • Awkward battery situation. I’m usually not a fan of battery operated toys. With that said, I wouldn’t mind the fact that the Rockbox Thrusting Finger is battery operated if the batteries weren’t so difficult to insert/remove. Batteries are inserted in the top of the toy, however getting the top unscrewed is nearly impossible. I had to use a pair of pliers. That’s taking this whole hardware store theme just a little too far…

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  • It has quite a bit of “drag.” I’m not even sure if drag is the right word. High school physics was never my strong point. Basically, here’s the problem: this is a mechanical toy. It thrusts. While this feels awesome, if you press the toy too hard against the walls of your vagina, the friction will cause it to either slow down or temporarily stop altogether. In order to get the most out of this toy, you have to hold it lightly and not bear down on it too much. This isn’t the worst thing ever – it just takes a bit of practice and getting used to. Now that I’ve figured out how to make this toy work for me, it’s great.
  • IT’S LOUD AF. Oh my god, I cannot stress how loud this toy is. I’ve been reviewing sex toys for almost five years and this is by far the loudest toy I have ever encountered. It’s noisy in a way that will have your neighbours wondering why you’re using a chainsaw in your bedroom.

So, while the negative aspects make the Rockbox Thrusting Finger less than ideal (ugh, the batteries!), the sheer power and feel of the toy still outweigh the “cons” – at least for me.

While I’m certain that the Fun Factory Stronic Eins is a much higher quality of toy (rechargeable! German designed! Doesn’t require pliers!), the Rockbox Thrusting Finger is the one I find myself reaching for whenever I’m craving a toy that thrusts and pulsates. The Rockbox Thrusting Finger has more raw power. Plus, I find that the thinner, more finger-like shape of the Rockbox is easier to maneuver and better at actually reaching my g-spot.

I like to think of the two toys like this:

If the Fun Factory Stronic Eins and the Rockbox Thrusting Finger were sitting at a bar together, the Stronic would be the suave European guy  (handsome! good job! nice apartment!) confidently nursing a pricey Scotch. On the other end of the bar you have the Rockbox, drinking a Smirnoff Ice and yelling at the TV. You’ll flirt with the sexy European, but at the end of the night you’ll go home with Mr. Smirnoff Ice. Sure, he’s not as refined and you’re not certain whether his mullet is ironic or not, but gosh darn it, this dude has a way with his hands.

Yes, this is exactly the kind of situation we’re dealing with here, my friends.

So, while this toy isn’t perfect, I did have a lot of fun with it. The Rockbox isn’t as good quality as something like the Fun Factory Stronic Eins – but, the price reflects this. At $49.99, the Rockbox Thrusting Finger is an affordable option for anyone who is looking to try something new and different without breaking the bank. (this is compared to the Stronic’s nearly $200 price tag.)

What do you guys think?

Free delivery on all orders over $40

This toy was provided to me free of charge by the awesome people at Lovehoney. All opinions are my own because that’s how I roll. 

We Tried it | Désirables Porcelain Dildo & Massage Stones

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One of the best perks of writing this blog is discovering new products that I might not have heard of otherwise. From the utterly terrifying (the iRide and this thing) to the beautiful & luxurious (a gold plated vibrator necklace & dildos made of glass); it’s always cool to get an insiders first look at new products!

The porcelain intimate pleasure products from Désirables definitely fall in the beautiful and luxurious camp.

Désirables are designed by women and made in Montreal, Canada. To quote their website, “As industrial designers, but especially as women, we wanted to create stylish toys that matched our vision of sexuality.  That’s why we offer products that are respectful, functional and esthetically pleasing.” (A female owned, Canadian company that’s ultra stylish to boot? Yes, please!)

They’ve accomplished their vision by creating a line of body safe pleasure products that are made entirely of porcelain. Yes, porcelain – the same stuff used to make china, figurines & your Aunt Ethel’s treasured tea set.

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As an introduction, the lovely people at Désirables sent me the Dalia Explorer and the Adori Porcelain Massager Set to try. Before I opened the box I took a photo because I absolutely loved the chic and minimal packaging.

(FYI, for non-Canadians, all of our product labels here include both English and French, with English usually listed first. However, since Désirables is from Montreal, the French is first which is a treat to see. Explorateur Feminin just sounds sexy. I’m a total nerd for details like this!)

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First up is the Dalia Explorer, a double ended porcelain Dildo. As you can see, it’s beautifully packaged in a red satin lined box and comes with a chic carrying case, authenticity card and instruction manual. I absolutely love how chic and luxurious the packaging is. The raw silk bag is a nice change from the usual black velvet ones that usually come with most high-end sex toys.

I’m sure you’re wondering, “why make sex toys out of porcelain?!” Well, not only is the porcelain smooth and soft to the touch, it also comes with several practical advantages as a toy material: it’s highly durable, easy to clean, hypoallergenic, compatible with both water based and silicone lubricants and it’s free of nasty toxic chemicals like pthalates.

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With that said, similar to the first time I used a glass toy, I was still a bit nervous about putting something that’s porcelain inside me. However, I’m glad that I gave Dalia a try.

Dalia is very similar in shape and user experience to one of my favourite toys, the Lelo Ella dildo. It’s almost exactly the same length and has a similar pointed, rounded tip that is perfect for g-spot stimulation. Unlike some of my other dildos which are quite large, the Dalia hits all the right spots without being intimidating. FYI, the Dalia “explorer” is a dildo which means it doesn’t vibrate. You can use it on it’s own for solo play, in conjunction with a clitoral vibrator or with a partner. Expert suggestion: try sliding it in and out while your partner goes down on you.  The end result is good, very, very good. 

After you’re finished playing, the Dalia cleans off easily with soap, water or toy spray.

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Next up are the Adori Porcelain Stone Massagers – a set of three different ceramic massage stones designed to target different muscles and apply different pressures.

I’m not going to lie- when I first laid eyes on the Adori set, I had absolutely no idea how I was supposed to use them.

I remember showing them to The Secret Agent and saying something like, “Huh. They look like a collection of miniature Beluga penises.”

“How do they work?” he asked.

“I don’t know? Maybe you’re supposed to use them as anal probes?” I replied.

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Meet The iRide: The World’s Most Inconvenient Sex Toy

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of recording an audio workshop (podcast) with one of my favourite people on the internet, Nicole of a Life Less Bullshit. We spent an hour talking about career paths, being a writer and what it’s like to write about sex on the internet – and it was so much fun! You can listen to the audio workshop here.

As you probably know, when it comes to sex toys I’m fairly adventurous and will try almost anything once. I’m not opposed to taking one for the team if it might lead to a great story. So, when Nicole asked me to share one of the most bizarre experiences as a sex writer, I told the story of the time I decided to try the iRide by Doc Johnson – a monstrosity of a sex toy that has since become the bane of my existence. As I described it to Nicole, the iRide looks like a cross between a dildo and a rocking horse, dipped in Pepto-Bismal pink. In other words, it’s utterly terrifying and I’ll never live down the fact that I owned this item. It’s also the worst sex toy ever.

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To quote the Doc Johnson website, The iRide is a “powerful new movement in sex toys” that provides clitoral and g-spot sensation, freeing your hands “for more exciting things.” Simply rock back and forth & enjoy the ride.

So, what exactly is wrong with the iRide besides the obvious? Oh, many, many things my friend. Here’s a quick summary –

It’s wildly uncomfortable. 

The insertable portion of the toy and it’s clitoral nub are made of ABS plastic – a material that although body safe, is notorious for irritating my lady parts. When I “mounted” this toy and inserted it, I immediately felt a familiar burning sensation that happens whenever I try to use ABS toys. Not fun at all.

It’s hard (and not in a good way.)  

As per the Doc Johnson website, “The naturally curved design [of the iRide] allows for sensual rhythmic movement, while the padded cushion makes for a soft, smooth ride.” Um, what padded cushion? This toy is made of hard plastic and the ride is anything but smooth. Although there is a bit of flexibility in the shaft, the large nubby bump that’s meant to stimulate your clit is rock hard. “Rocking” against it felt like I was about to bruise my pelvic bone.

It’s anything but ergonomic. 

Using this toy is awkward. If you try to use it on the floor you’ll inevitably end up with rug or floor burns. However, when I tried to use it on my bed, I nearly went flying.

It’s big…in all the wrong places. 

Hey, did I mention that the shaft on this thing is barely 4 inches long?! Although there are some smaller sized toys that I really love, this is not one of them. The penis portion seems inexplicably small and nubby compared to the rest of the toy which is massive. The total length of the “seat” is approximately a foot and a half. It also comes in the world’s biggest and least discreet box ever.

(I also have the sneaking suspicion that “Doc Johnson” isn’t a real doctor. Just a thought.)

IMG_0164Trying to store the iRide has been a royal pain in the butt. I keep most of my sex toys neatly organized in a cabinet with a bunch of different drawers. Unsurprisingly, the iRide doesn’t fit in the drawers…or any drawers really. The shaft isn’t long enough to be pleasurable, however it’s just long enough to make it impossible to fit under the bed….and there’s absolutely no way I’m leaving this thing out in public.

IRIDE 13 IRIDE 12Needless to say, Joe the Intern is very, very concerned about the storage issues the iRide has caused.

Frustrated, I eventually just put it in a large Marc Jacobs tote bag that has seen better days, stuffed it in the very back of my closet and promptly forgot about the iRide.

That was almost three years ago. Since then, I have moved to another area of the house and my former bedroom has been converted back to a guest room that my sister uses whenever she comes home to visit.

A few weeks ago, I was eating lunch with my sister when her face suddenly dropped.

“Simone, I need to tell you something” she said. “Mom and I were cleaning out the closet and well, we found something of yours. Mom is was really disturbed.”

The first thing that popped into my mind was, “OH GOD. THE IRIDE!”

Mortified, I decided then and there that the iRide had to go.

Although the disposing of the Nick Hawk Dildo was relatively easy, sending the iRide off to the big sex toy pile in the sky proved to be a lot more challenging. Along with being ridiculously inconvenient, the iRide is also nearly indestructible. Not to say that we didn’t try.

After a delicious Sunday brunch, I enlisted the help of my lovely boyfriend (more on him later!) to dispose of the iRide. High on coffee and omelettes, we were full of ideas of how to rid Skinny Dip headquarters of the iRide once and for all.

IRIDE 3 IRIDE 6However, we quickly learned that there is no way to dispose of the iRide discretely. When I mentioned to my Mom that I was thinking of just chucking it in the garbage, she was horrified.

“But, what if someone finds it and thinks it’s mine?!” she said, aghast at the possibility.

That’s when I suggested, “Maybe we could cut it up into pieces, wrap it in a trash bag and throw it out murderer style.”

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However, after much pulling and tugging we realized that there was no way the iRide was coming apart. Instead, we decided we might as well skip the dismemberment and just bury it in the shallow grave it deserved – an idea that was later vetoed out of fear that it would eventually rise like a bright pink phoenix (errr, penis) to terrorize future generations.

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Review | Shopping at Cupid Boutique

Although I now do most of adult product shopping online, I probably never would have become interested sex toys had it not been for actual brick and mortar sex shops. Long before I was sex and relationship blogger with an enviable toy collection, I did all my adult product shopping at the stores that lined Yonge Street in Toronto. Cupid Boutique was one of these stores.

With five locations in Toronto, Brampton, Etobicoke and Mississauga, as well as a comprehensive website, for many people (like myself) stores like Cupid Boutique are their first introduction into the magical world of sex toys and adult products.

It’s been a few years since I stepped into a Cupid Boutique, however when I visited their website I was excited to see that they carry a bunch of my favourite luxury brands like Lelo, Jimmyjane and We-Vibe. So, when Cupid Boutique asked me to share some of my top product picks I couldn’t resist. Here’s a few of my favorite finds from Cupid Boutique –

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1. Tango Pleasure Mate Collection by We-Vibe –  I absolutely adore my super tiny & super powerful We-Vibe Tango. This handy set includes a We-Vibe Tango (if you don’t already have one or need an extra one just in case..) and two silicone attachments that turn this powerful external vibrator into an internal one. Buy the set or buy each attachment separately here. 

2. Hello Touch by Jimmyjane – As you probably know, I love my Jimmyjane Form 2 and my Jimmyjane Massage Candle. So, naturally I was super curious when this awesome brand came out with the Hello Touch – an innovative vibrator that allows you to deliver internal or external vibrations from the tips of your fingers. I’ve been curious about this toy for awhile because it looks like something straight out of Blade Runner. For all of you sci-fi nerds, the Hello Touch is perfect for turning your fantasies of hot, futuristic, robot sex into reality.

3. The Layaspot by Fun Factory – Fun Factory is another great brand known for it’s high quality, innovative toys. I’ve been wanting to try the Layaspot ever since City Girl reviewed it a few years ago.

4. Earthy Body “Naked in the Woods” Summer Skincare Bag – I have Earthy Body’s “Skinny Dip” skincare kit and love it (obviously.) So when I saw they have a “Naked in the Woods” collection, my interest was piqued. This is another great company that uses tons of yummy, skin-nourishing natural ingredients like Hemp and Argan oils in their products.

5. Sexy books – Cupid Boutique carries a decent selection of LGTB books and sex guides, including classic 1950’s Lesbian pulp fiction titles like Three Women and Twilight Girl, and When I Knew – a collection of coming out stories (I love the cover art!)

6. Hathor Aphrodisia Exotic Love Oil – I’m obsessed with all Hathor Aphrodisia products, so I would love to give their Exotic Love Oil a try (sounds prefect for a romantic massage!)

7. Ruffle panty by Coquette – I own tons of lingerie by Coquette. These panties look cute and comfortable!

8. Leaf by Swan Vitality Massager – I haven’t tried any products made by Leaf yet but I love that they’re a environmentally friendly Canadian company. This leaf-like dual stimulation toy looks like an innovative spin on the classic rabbit style vibrator!

9. Rechargeable Smart Wand by Lelo – Confession: I’m not a big fan of the notorious Hitachi Magic Wand because it’s materials irritate my skin and you have to plug it into the wall. However, I am a big fan of Lelo products. I’m curious to try their version of the wand that’s fully rechargeable and made with skin-friendly silicone.

10. Intensity by Jopen Pelvic Exerciser – Here’s another toy that I’m super curious about. The Intensity by Jopen is a pelvic floor exerciser and vibrator in one. The fact that it also looks like a hairstyling tool makes it too weird not to try.

 Which products are you most curious about? 

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This post was brought to you by Cupid Boutique. Please note that all opinions are my own because that’s how I roll. 

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