My Hoo-Ha Has Bad Taste in Music

I know right? I’m as shocked as you guys are.

Something I rarely talk about on the blog is music – even though it’s a huge part of who I am. I have a love affair with soul, R&B and Hip Hop. As a teenager, I read Vibe magazine religiously, spent hours holed up in my bedroom listening to the hip hop station from Seattle and spent most of my babysitting money on records. I daydreamed about one day moving to New York City to work at Vibe magazine (as their token white girl staffer) where I would spend my days interviewing the likes of LL Cool J & Mary J. Blige (in this fantasy I was also totally ghetto fab, rocked killer door knocker earrings and had a sweet nameplate necklace that said “Monie” in italic writing. A girl can dream right?) I have yet to work as a music journalist however, music is still a huge part of my private life. My heart moves to the sounds of Raphael Saadiq, Erykah Badu, Jill Scott, The Roots and Prince (among others). There’s also a whole slew of electronic & indie acts that I adore like Little Dragon, Cut Copy & Passion Pit. I get so excited whenever I discover new music or have the chance to see my favorite artists play live. If I don’t answer when you call my name it’s probably because I’m listening to my iPod.

So, when Katrina at Ohhh Canada asked me if I wanted to try the OhMiBod Naughtibod Music Vibrator – a luxury sex toy that vibrates along with the beat of your iPod (!!!!!), I jumped at the chance. Orgasm to my favorite music? Um, yes please.

The OhMiBod Naughtibod is body-safe, phthalates free and made of ABS plastic with chrome details. It is a smaller sized vibe with a grooved shape and a silky, velvety texture similar to a silicone toy. The toy features a double ended attachment that allows you to plug in your iPod and earphones. When you begin to play music on your iPod, the toy starts to vibrate along to the beat! You can control the intensity of the vibrations by increasing the volume of the music. You can also use the OhMiBod Naughtibod as a regular vibrator without the iPod attachment.

Before trying this toy I asked myself “I wonder what kind of music my vagina will like?” I assumed my hoo-ha would love the same kinds of soulful sounds that I like. I imagined orgasms to the sounds of Sade or Raphael Saadiq’s Skyy Can you Feel Me (which, is one of my favorite songs) or at the very least some Billie Holiday or Prince. My hoo-ha seems like the classy kind of broad that would be into this stuff, right? WRONG.

As it turns out my vagina has the musical taste of a gumsmacking teenager, permenantly tuned in to the HITZ 92.9 FM TOP 40 HOUR. My vagina likes Pitbull. And Lady Gaga. And bad dance music from the 90’s. Actually, when it came to using this vibrator, I discovered that the stronger the beat & the more obnoxious the lyrics, the better.

Songs my Hoo-Ha likes:

1. Pitbull “Give me Everything” (This was a good song to start with. Strong beat & a good build up)

2. Lady Gaga “Monster” (HE ATE MY HEART HE AYYY AYYY ATE MY HEART are weird lyrics to get off to but my hoo-ha really, really liked this one. MA MA MA MONSTER!)

3. Lady Gaga “Alejandro” (YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU BOY. HOT LIKE MEXICO. ALLE ALLE HANDROOOOO. This is a good build up song for round #2)

4. Pitbull “Pause” ( Onbnoxious beat plus these lyrics: MAMI YOU LOOK SO RIGHT. NOW GOOOOOO. STOP. DROP. PAUSE. NOW LOOK AT THE GIRL SHE’S LIKE OHHH. NOW LOOK AT THAT GIRL SHE’S LIKE AHHH – I think this one is self-explanatory)

5. Venga Boys “Boom Boom Boom” (This embarassing… but what can I say? It works! BOOM BOOM BOOM I WANT YOU IN MY ROOM!)

(*Disclaimer: I’m not saying that liking Pitbull or Lady Gaga means you have bad taste in music. I obviously like them enough to own all of their albums. It’s just that neither would be my logical go-to choice for “sexy time music”. However, if you do like get down to some Gaga & Pit, I’m not judging. However, if you’re getting down on the regular to the Venga Boys, first of all – congrats on making that work – but seriously, let me make you a mix tape.)

The only thing you should be aware of with the OhMiBod Naughtibod is that I found the vibrations were more on the “moderate” to “gentle” side. In order to get the vibrations to the highest level, I really had to crank the music to the max which meant I was literally getting ear blasted by Pit and Gaga while I was getting my rocks off. I was using my iPhone so, it might be slightly different with a different device. The upside to the vibrations not being super intense is that I got to lie back, listen to the song & enjoy the build up to some nice orgasms.

Who I would recommend this to:

The sheer novelty factor of this toy is a lot of fun & I think it would make the perfect sassy stocking stuffer for someone looking to buy their first vibrator, the tech junkie who already has everything or couples looking to have a bit of fun while listening to their favorite tunes (because the vibrations are gentle, this would make a fun teasing toy during foreplay!)

Has anyone else tried this? What are you interested in seeing reviewed on Skinny Dip?

*The OhMiBod Naughtibod was provided to me free of charge by Ohhh Canada in exchange for my honest assessment of the product.

A Holiday Gift Guide to Make you Say Ohhh

Something I’ve learned over the past year is that even when life is busy or you’re stressed, you need to take the time to do stuff that makes you feel sexy. Even if you’re the only one who’s going to enjoy it, get that that Brazilian wax, put on that sassy underwear, do whatever it is that makes you feel good – it makes a huge difference.

This is why I’m really excited to announce that Skinny Dip has partnered with Ohhh Canada to do some sexy product  reviews and blog posts. Ohhh Canada is a Canadian owned and operated online store dedicated to selling luxury body safe sex toys, lingerie and other fun items to make you feel good. I met Katrina, the owner and founder of Ohhh last fall and instantly liked what she was about – she’s super friendly, fun to talk to and all about promoting sex positivity and quality products. I’m really excited to be working with her!

Before I left Toronto, Katrina generously bestowed upon me some fun sexy items to try out while I was home on the West Coast. In return, I’ve put together a sexy holiday gift guide based on some of the goodies I tried.

(Can I just say, how cute is their name and logo?!)

1. Kissaholic Aphrodisiac Plumping Lip Gloss by Booty Parlor ($15.99): This lip gloss is infused with an actual aphrodisiac to make you irresistable to anyone who gets close to your lips. I tried the lip gloss in “Tremble” – a sheer “skinny-dip-esque” pink that has just the perfect amount of shimmer. Does this stuff actually work? Hmm, I’m not sure.  What I can tell you is that it that it feels nice on your lips, smells yummy and has a delicious bubble gum and peppermint taste! Aprodisacs are meant not only to stimulate amorous feelings but also just general “feel-good” feelings. I think I might have to gift this to some of my girlfriends and also subject the product to further testing 😉

2. Red Mesh Dress with Garters by Baci Lingerie. ($24.99) I’m just going to put this out there: I’m a bit of a lingerie snob. I’ve encountered my share of scratchy, ill fitting cheap lingerie. I’m also super petite with substandard sized, bird-like limbs, so I tend to shy away from brands I’m not familiar with, especially if I’m ordering online and can’t try it on first (There’s nothing less sexy than thigh highs that are too baggy to stay up!) I’ve never tried anything made my Baci so, I was curious (and maybe somewhat skeptical!) however, this red mesh outfit totally won me over.

Let’s just take a moment to acknowledge the obvious hotness of this little number. It’s RED. How can you not feel like a total vixen in red lingerie and garters?!

The front looks like your basic negligee however, it’s gathered in the back for some peek-a-boo action. You can wear it with a thong, or a pair of boys-cut panties. Katrina gave me a pair of these fishnet thigh highs ($6.99) to pair with the outfit. The best part of this whole ensemble?! (Besides feeling like a total sex kitten while I strutted around my apartment solo)

Everything ACTUALLY FIT ME! Also, the quality was very nice. The fabric was super soft, nicely woven and you can tell will keep its shape* This line has totally won me over. With the extremely affordable price tag ($24.99) Baci is a great option for those of us with Agent Provocateur taste and a Costco budget.

*The outfit was actually so comfortable that I threw a robe on top and kind of forgot I was wearing it while I watched a bunch of back to back episodes of 30-Rock. Welcome to my life.

3. Blossom Organics Moisturizing Lubricant: Lets get real here, sometimes you just need a little lube. The right lube can totally enhance the experience. My body is super sensitive so, for a long time I shied away from using lube because I’d always get really bad reactions from the stuff that’s sold at drugstores (this is because a lot of that stuff is full of all kinds of gross chemicals that really shouldn’t go anywhere near that part of the body!) Blossom Organics is a lube designed especially for women. It’s Ph balanced and made with organic ingredients you’d find on the shelf of your health food store. It’s safe to use with a partner or toys. The best part? It’s totally non-irritating! If the idea of giving someone lube for Christmas totally creeps you out, I still recommend picking some of this stuff up for yourself. Happy lady parts are the gift that keeps on giving!

What’s on your holiday list this year?

That Friday Afternoon I Spent Watching Strippers, Photographing Half-Naked People and Doing Other Weird Stuff.

On October 22nd I spent the afternoon at the Toronto Metro Convention Center covering the annual Toronto Everything to Do with Sex Show for The Hip & Urban Girl’s Guide. The ETDWSS is a huge event that features over 100 different sex themed vendors, workshops, live entertainment and special guests.

If you’re interested in learning more about the show you can read my very vanilla-ified review of the event here. As a blogger who tends to write a lot about sex & relationships, going to this event was a bit like being a kid in a  candy store….a giant stadium sized candy store full of lingerie, sex toys & tons of interesting blog fodder. I was in heaven. Here’s a look at what I saw:

Interesting Sex Toys & “Adult Themed” products:

I was only at the show for a few minutes before I located the Sqweel. You might remember this toy from my Christmas list last year. Yes people, that’s a wheel of tongues. It’s back on my Christmas list this year because apparently even Santa is weirded out by this thing. I think this is one of those toys that’s so wrong, it’s almost right (IT’S A WHEEL OF TONGUES, HOW COULD THIS BE A BAD THING?)

Oh hello there, Cobra Libre Hands Free Masturbator. Last time I saw you it was in this post about Sex Toys Gone Hilariously Wrong. You really do look like a vacuum cleaner in person.

Do you want to be that creepy person on the block that everyone suspects is a total sex criminal? DO YOU?! Then, I suggest purchasing this “Pornkins” pumpkin carving kit for next Halloween. I can only imagine the trick or treating conversations (“Mommy, why is that one Spiderman stabbing that other Spiderman with his hips?”) Um, yeah.

Stuff that just doesn’t belong:

Like this random Soft Serve Stand. Is this always there? Is it part of the show? Does anyone really want to eat vanilla soft serve in the middle of a sex show?! Wait, don’t answer that. Either way, the lady behind the counter was not impressed that I took a photo of her.

Oh snap, I didn’t realize The Everything To with Sex Show was also carrying birth control!

I’m all about condoms and safe sex but, fellas – if your underwear features an ode to safe sex in the form of dancing cartoon condoms and says “EL SUAVE” across the waistband, you’re doing it wrong (unless your goal is to never get laid – if that’s the case, carry on!)

Once again, I feel like these Ed Hardy shirts do more to impede sex than encourage it.

Nearly naked hot people:

After I spent a good chunk of time wandering around all of the booths, I headed over to the main stage to catch the Baci Lingerie show. This basically involved watching a bunch of hot people strut down the runway in fancy underwear. It’s a tough job but someone has to do it.  This is my favorite photo from the show:

I didn’t plan on spending the afternoon watching male strippers, it just happened. When it was time for male exotic dancing star Assassin to take the stage, the PR girl who was kindly showing me around, nudged me and said “You should stick around for this. He’s the biggest guy in the industry…and I mean BIGGEST. It almost hangs down to his knees” – naturally, my curiosity was piqued.

View Post

Symphony for One: The Siena Symphony G-Spot Vibrator

In high-school I had this one girlfriend who was a year older and quite a bit more sexually experienced than I was. Although I had just started sleeping with my first boyfriend, at the time I was still pretty clueless about sex. One day while we were walking home from school she started to tell me about her new boyfriend:

“His penis is curved”

“WHAT?!”

“No, it’s a good thing!”

“WHAT?!”

“It hits my G-Spot”

I think this was the point in the conversation where I just stared at her blankly. Oh, the elusive G-Spot. As an avid teenage reader of Cosmo, I knew that the G-Spot existed however, it would be several years before I experienced the OH-MY-WOW factor associated with that special happy place.

My big G-moment happened when I was 21. I had just started seeing a guy my girlfriends later dubbed “The Magic Tongue” because of his fondness for performing oral sex. One night, while he was going down on me, he inserted one of his fingers and EUREKA he located the buried treasure. Suddenly, it was like I was in a whole new world. It was kind of like that scene in Aladdin, except my ex luckily didn’t have a thing for wearing white harem pant suits.

I was having my very own magic carpet ride. Birds were flying. Horses were running. Pyramids were visable in the distance. Peabo Bryson was singing “WHOAWHOAWHOA!” and Regina Belle was harmonizing “OHHH OHH OHHH”. This guy was a terrible boyfriend however, his ability to take me on magic carpet rides at the touch of a finger is probably one of the reasons I kept him around as long as I did.

When Eden Fantasys said they were planning on sending me my very own Siena Symphony G-Spot vibrator, I was excited and showed my friend a photo of the toy.

Friend: “It looks like a giant finger”

Me: “Exactly!”

The Siena Symphony by Mantric is a G-Spot vibrator made of food grade, silky, silicone. The toy is 100% body safe, hypo-allergenic, phthalates free and waterproof (hello bath & shower fun!). It has 4 different speeds (Escalating, Pulsating, Rollercoaster & Vibrating). The only thing that’s slightly awkward about the design of the toy is that it takes 4 AAA batteries which means I’m either going to have to make more awkward trips to the convenience store or a trip to Costco in the near future.

I think a lot of people might be initially put off by this toy because it has a really pronounced curve. However, it’s Siena’s dramatic curves that worked really well for me. I find that a lot of G-Spot vibrators just don’t quite reach my spot. I either need a lot of control like the Lelo Ella or a sharp curve like the Siena to really do the trick. Siena is curved like a finger…a giant, purple finger.

Did I mention the Siena Symphony is big? Because it is. At 8 1/2 inches, this toy looks massive. Keep in mind that only 4 inches is actually insertable however, the toy also has a hefty girth. I really enjoyed the larger size but, some people may find this a drawback. Regardless, I recommend using some lube.

Siena’s motor is fairly quiet and I’d say the  strength of the vibrations are “medium”. My only actual complaint about this toy is that the clitoral nub is located in completely the wrong spot for my body which meant no clitoral stimulation for me. The vibrations might have been enough to get me off however, I got impatient and finished my magic carpet ride with the help of another toy. Although I enjoyed the experience, it would have been nice not to have to double team myself.

Who would enjoy this toy:

– Intermediate toy users looking for something different, in particular a really curved toy for the G-Spot

-Individuals looking to find their G-Spot

– Couples (I think this toy would be a lot of fun during foreplay or in conjunction with oral sex)

-Fans of large penises.

 What do you guys think? What sex toys are you interested in seeing reviewed? Have a question but are feeling shy?! Email me at skinnydipblog AT gmail.com

{The Siena Symphony was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest assessment of the product}

Oh, Happy Day!

My best friend and I always joke about our differing taste in men. She’s always liked the guys who were good at gym class (jocks) where I have always been more attracted to the guys who were smoking and setting stuff on fire when they should have been in gym class. As a kid I would watch re-runs of Happy Days and would reenact elaborate song & dance sequences from Grease and Westside Story. As a teen when most of my friends were hanging up posters of dimpled nice guys like Scott Wolf, I found myself gravitating more towards the likes of James Dean and Johnny Depp. If you want my lady parts to start tingling, give me a social outcast in a leather jacket that’s well-prepared for a knife fight. So, when I found out there was a vibrator named “Fonzie” (named after one of the most famous leather clad bad-asses around) I knew I had to try it. After all, the Fonz was always popular with the ladies.

The Fonzie G-spot and Clitoral vibrator is a dual stimulation toy from Feelztoys. This little purple guy is made of 100% of silicone – a body safe material that has the soft and velvety feel of skin. It is hypoallergenic and Phthalates free. Fonzie’s shaft is curved to help stimulate your G-Spot and also includes a little nubby bit for clitoral stimulation. The toy has seven different vibration settings that you can easily cycle through to experience different sensations. If you want to take this toy into the bath or shower you can because it’s completely waterproof! At approximately 5 1/2 inches long, Fonzie is a smaller sized (read: non-intimidating) toy that actually packs a lot of punch.

Fonzie took a little bit of getting used to however, once I did, I’ve really enjoyed using this toy. The important thing to understand about this toy is that if you are looking for a Rabbit Vibrator (dual stimulation toy that you can use inside and out) this probably isn’t the toy for you. Fonzie is not a classic Rabbit vibrator.However, if you want a good G-Spot vibrator, with a little bit extra, you will probably like what Fonzie has to offer.

I think we’ve all been in the situation where you’re in bed with someone for the first time and they’re totally hot, you’re turned on but yet somehow the sex just. isn’t. working. It’s like a big tangle of awkward limbs and even though you’re shifting your hips, moving your legs, trying to find a position that works, it just feels like maybe your bodies just don’t line up properly. This is kind of what my first experience using Fonzie was like. I think what threw me off was that the nubby bit that’s meant to stimulate your clit totally didn’t line up with mine. When I was finally able to get it to work for me, the clitoral vibrations weren’t really that strong. Unlike typical Rabbit vibrators where the clitoral stimulator usually has a motor of its own, Fonzie’s clitoral arm is attached to the shaft so you are basically just getting residual vibrations from the rest of the toy, not intense stimulation. If you need a lot of clitoral stimulation to get off, this toy might not be for you. You should instead check out something like this or like this.

The upside? As a G-Spot vibrator this toy is quite awesome. The curved shape hits all the right spots and the vibrations were strong enough to get me off several times in a row. Fonzie’s ribbed texture also feels really good. I love that you can cycle through the different vibration settings with ease – a feature I love about my Lelo Mona. Overall I was impressed with the design and quality of this toy, given it’s reasonable price point of $39.99.

Who I would recommend this toy to: This toy would be great for someone who maybe already has another vibrator but is looking to add something specifically for the G-Spot to their toy collection. It’s a great option for anyone who is looking for a vibrating alternative to the Lelo Ella but one that is more user friendly than the Candy Cane vibe. This would also be a fun toy for couples who are looking to mix things up a bit.

A Fonz FYI: This toy takes two AAA batteries (those little tiny ones that fit in your TV remote). Make sure you have some in stock. When Fonzie arrived on my doorstep, I immediately tore off all of his packaging only to realize once I was in the bedroom that I didn’t have the right kind of batteries. Before I could play with him I had to run out to the convenience store. As I was anxiously purchasing my AAA’s, the elderly Korean man who runs the place gave me a look that totally said “Honey, we know what you are up to.” Don’t do what I do. The more I spend time with Fonzie, the more I like him. My opinion has gone from: This:

to THIS: Thanks to Fonzie there have been some “Happy Days” over at chez Skinny Dip. Actually I think this accurately sums up my week of “rocking and rolling” (again & again & again) with Fonzie:

“The weekend comes, my cycle hums…ready to race to you!”

OK, now that I have officially shattered more childhood memories, which sex toys are you interested in seeing reviewed on Skinny Dip?

*The Fonzie vibrator was provided to me by Eden Fantasys free of charge in exchange for my honest assessment of the product.

Instagram

Latest pins

Follow on Pinterest