Ruffles, Bows and Naughty Ballerinas

The other day my best friend and I were browsing through Purdy’s chocolates, when she gives me this teasing look & says:

“So, Simone, in honor of Valentine’s Day are you going to buy yourself one of these giant heart shaped boxes of chocolates?”

“Yeah, if I was planning on spending the evening sitting in a dark room, watching Julia Roberts movies and gently sobbing”

FYI. In case you didn’t catch my sarcasm, this totally isn’t how I’ll be spending February 14th. Actually I don’t even have any plans and this doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I’m one of those people that doesn’t really get bummed out about Valentines Day. The only thing that bums me out is that there are people out there who do get bummed out & feel sad around this time year. I actually secretly love Valentines Day. I love seeing all my favorite colors (pink! red! brighter pink! hearts everywhere!). It’s also a good excuse to buy new sassy underwear (even if no one else is going to see it)

This year I’m sticking to my financial resolutions and won’t be making any new additions to my already bursting lingerie drawer. However, it’s still fun to fantasize about what I would buy myself for Valentine’s Day if money was no object. So, I’ve put together an imaginary wish-list (Yay! shopping with fake money!). Gents, this can also serve as a shopping guide if you need ideas for that fabulous lady in your life.

1. Jopen Vanity Vr3 vibrator:

Once my best friend and I left the chocolate store and were out of earshot of children, I said “On second thought, I think I’m just going to upgrade my vibrator collection”  If I was going to buy a new luxury sex toy, this bad boy would definitely be a contender. This toy is known for having very strong vibrations. If you don’t believe me, watch this video where they show the toy flapping around on a desk like it has a life of it’s own. Did you watch the video?! I’m now dying of curiosity to try this thing.

2. Cake Beauty products:

This trio of creamy and delectably flavoured lip gloss will nourish and hydrate lips giving you a wash of colour and loads of shine.Sweet scape desserted island set includes: desserted island velveteen hand creme & desserted island supremely rich bath & shower froth.
 I really like Cake products because they use 90-95% natural ingredients, are paraben free and smell delicious. It’s funny, I always end up buying Cake products for other people but I’ve never actually purchased any for myself. Maybe it’s time to change that! I think the Winter Wonder Lip Gloss Trio and the Sweet Escape Dessert Island Duo  would be perfect for whisking away the winter blues.

3. “Naughty Ballerina” Panties:

These cute undies by Booty Parlor had me at their name. I mean who doesn’t want to be a “naughty ballerina”?! It’s all very Black Swan. You know, like that scene where Natalie Portman & Mila Kunis do drugs and then go to town on each other & it’s like the hottest thing ever? Yeah, that. Plus, I think the see through back + the ruffle is cute. I was ready to buy these for myself until I read the fine print and saw that they are crotchless. I’ve never understood crotchless underwear. Wouldn’t it just be easier to wear no underwear at all? Am I missing something?

*Men, only buy crotchless underwear for women you’re actually dating & know very well. It does not make a good secret admirer gift…unless of course you want her to think you’re a sex criminal.

4. Lycra corset with ruffled trim:

Lycra corset with ruffled trim - Corsets and bustier - EdenFantasys.Lycra corset with ruffled trim - Corsets and bustier - EdenFantasys.
This outfit just screams out “Be my Valentine”. I’m totally feeling the vintage burlesque feel of the corset, the peekaboo ruffles and the bow accent on the garters. With the red lacing up the back, I’d feel like my very own Valentine’s gift just waiting to be unwrapped.

4. Kama Sutra Body Souffle and Honey Dust:

Smooth these delicately scented, lusciously flavored, water-based creams are also excellent as a silky hand and body moisturizer.Edible flavored powder in a silky bag with feather applicator
Kama Sutra products are made with the bedroom in mind however, as I discovered a few years ago they’re actually just really nice body products. I’m in love with their Vanilla body souffle – a delicious smelling body creme that goes on uber smooth. Use it for  massage or as a rich body moisturizer. I’m also a huge fan of their honey dust – a light body powder that will leave your skin soft, smelling & tasting like honeysuckle (it works great as a very light fragrance). Yes, both products are edible. This means that not only will they make you smell like a dessert, you’ll taste like one too. You’ll smell so good you might be tempted to lick your arm in public. Don’t do this. It’s just creepy & weird.
5. Polka Dot mesh corset:

FORGET SEX. This outfit screams out “musical theatre”. My whole purpose for owning this would be so I would have something to wear as I danced around my house re-enacting dance sequences from Moulin Rouge. Gitchi Gitchi Ya Ya Da Da!

What would you give yourself for Valentines Day if money was no object?

This post was sponsored by Eden Fantasys. I was given a gift certificate to fund my on-going obsession with lingerie and sex toys in exchange for this post. All opinions are my own because that’s just how I roll.

Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store

Inside my Bag 2.0

I don’t know about you but I never get tired of seeing what’s inside people’s bags. I find it fascinating what people carry with them on a daily basis. Maybe I am just totally nosy…

I did a post about what’s inside my bag two years ago so I decided it’s time for an update.

Meet my purse. I’ve been carrying this around everyday since I got it in December. You can read the story behind why I bought it here.

I like the orange and beige piping. I feel like it adds a preppy, nautical feel to the bag. Let’s take a look inside! (clockwise from the top):

1. Random pamphlets + my Christian LaCroix notebook (for jotting down blog ideas)

2. Gym lock: I always forget to take it out of my bag after I workout.

3. Kissaholic lip gloss by Booty Parlor: I got this from Ohhh Canada and I actually really like it. The lifestyle in Victoria is very laid back so this is just enough color to make me feel dressed up in a pinch.

4. Burt’s Bees lip-balm: My lips are always dry so I need to carry lip balm at all times. I love my Burt’s Bees because it’s made of natural ingredients and it doesn’t give a weird aftertaste.

5. Black Pilot hi-Techpoint pen: my favorite kind of pen. period.

6. Pink iPod shuffle: I love to workout to music but I don’t like running with my iPhone. This is perfect because I can clip it onto my shirt and keep my hands free.

7. iPhone 3GS: I love this phone. The pink case is from Aritzia where I used to work.

8. Camera case containing a Cannon Power shot camera: There’s so much beautiful scenery in BC that I like to carry a small camera with me whenever I am visiting.

9. My keys with their “Matryosh-key” key covers: The mini pink purse is my keychain and the other pink thing is my Menchie’s Frozen Yogurt points card (which encourages me to spend a disturbing amount of money on frozen yogurt)

10. Miu Miu wallet/clutch: I originally used this as a clutch but then when I was in Vegas I started using it as a wallet as well and it just stuck.

11. Cat eye sunglasses: After reading “The Help” this summer I desperately wanted a pair of 60’s inspired cat eye shades. I found this $7.99 pair from Joe Fresh at Superstore and have been wearing them instead of my usual Marc by Marc Jacobs pair ever since. Meow!

Let’s take a closer look…

These pamphlets are actually the 2012 Eden Fantasys sex toy catalog and an application form to join Denny’s frequent eater program. I feel these are very…telling.

{Two of my favorite things: sex and greasy breakfasts.}

Lastly, I need to show you guys a close up of my notebook. I bought this with a gift certificate I received for Christmas. I really enjoy Christian Lacroix’s paper products. The quality is really nice and they aren’t as expensive as you’d think they’d be. The pattern on this notebook grabbed me…it’s really pretty!

The inside is even more stunning. How could you not be inspired when you open this notebook?

(I love how it says “Belongs to” in French and gives you a space to write your name)

Now for the million dollar question: How many bags does a self-proclaimed purse addict bring with her for a 6-week trip? Answer: five. How many does she actually use while she’s on said trip? One. Go figure.

What’s inside your bag?

Learning to Spend on the Right Things

I didn’t make any real New Years Resolutions this year (except for one: “Learn how to drive” – more on that later). I already have a long list of things I have been working on since November. One of the things I do want to focus on in 2012 is “spending money on the right things.”

When I sat down in November to brainstorm on ways I could improve my life & love myself a little bit more, I noticed a lot of things were out of balance:

I had a brand-new, unworn Alexander Wang top in my closet but I hadn’t been to the dentist in over a year. I love my Prada eye-glasses that I wear in the evening but I can’t watch any films with subtitles because I have neglected to get the prescription updated (for like, 2 years).  I always seem to have money for nights out with friends but I can’t use my lap-top (the computer I use every day to write and work) without plugging it in because the battery has been dead for god knows how long. My daily wardrobe consists of a lot of white or light colored tops but the only flesh-toned bra I own died about a year ago. Since then I’ve just been wearing black bras with my white T-shirts in hopes that everyone will think I’m doing it on purpose to be “edgy and urban”. I have the confidence to pull this off but really, I just need to buy more bras. Of course there are also all the chiropractic appointments, doctors appointments and bills which were all put off because my mind and wallet always seemed to be elsewhere.

Yes, I have messed up priorities of the First World kind.

I’ve known these truths about myself for a long time but have just been in denial. Although I do enjoy the pretty things I am fortunate enough to own, by not taking care of other areas of my life I’ve created a lot of extra stress. A lot of the negative thoughts I have about myself relate back to how I manage my finances. I want to love myself more and part of that means changing the way I spend my money.

While I am on this topic – I’m pretty sure I’m not the only young professional woman who has felt like this at some point. I feel like we live in a culture where we’re told that it’s OK to make certain sacrifices in order to look good or have fun. When I used to work in high-end retail, several of my co-workers would routinely forgo real groceries and live on a ramen noodle diet just so they could afford the latest $750 handbag on a retail salary. A good friend of mine recently confessed that she owns 20 Marc Jacobs handbags (at $400 a pop) but feels sad that she’s never traveled internationally. I call this the “Carrie Bradshaw-ification” of society. It seems like somewhere along the line we lost our way and it became OK, even chic, cute & urban, to own a closet full of very expensive shoes at the cost of being able to do other things like own your own home. How did this happen and how do we make it stop?

Although I’ll never forgo good food for fashion (I love my veggies & whole grains too much) and try to travel whenever I get the chance, I’ve definitely been the girl at the party with the killer vintage Chanel handbag who has to demurely reach into her handbag mid-conversation to turn the ringer off her phone because creditors are calling about her  large unpaid phone bill. There’s nothing cool or glamorous about it. It’s actually just a shitty scenario that makes me feel like I failed somewhere while on the path to becoming a fully functioning adult.

The great thing about this situation is that I have the power to change it.

So, what does “spending on the right things” mean?

For me, it’s not just about spending money, it’s about spending the time to actually take note of what my real needs are. It means looking after myself, paying my bills first and only spending on experiences & things that will improve my quality of life.

This holiday season, with the help of loved ones, I’ve been able to get a few things that I actually need that will improve my life in small (but large) ways:

1. Matryosh-keys Key Covers: Following my move in October, I realized I had way too many keys on my key ring that all looked very similar. Opening the front door to my apartment building would always involve a few minutes of utter confusion trying to figure out what goes where. I saw these key covers at Nood in Victoria ($6) and decided they would be the perfect way to separate my keys and play up my Eastern European heritage at the same time. It may seem inconsequential but no longer having to spend that 2 minutes feeling frustrated every time I leave my house makes a big difference.

2. The Magic Bullet:  This sounds like it should be the name of yet another luxury sex toy but it’s actually a blender. I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited about a blender before but I love this thing! I like to make green smoothies but I have been avoiding making them because my blender is difficult to clean and it doesn’t fit in my new fridge so I can’t store leftovers. Now I can make a single serving smoothie with less fuss and waste. (Thanks Mom!)

3. Ombrello Black Riding Boots. These are probably one of the nicest gifts anyone has given me. My shoe collection is full of pretty high heels but the boots that I wear on a daily basis were worn out, hurting my feet and causing back problems. My Mom bought me these for Christmas and I absolutely love them. They’re incredibly comfortable, great quality, water-proof and I feel amazing whenever I wear them. I know I’ll have these boots for many years to come.

4. Michael Kors purse: This was my Christmas gift to myself. I know what you are thinking: THIS WOMAN CAN’T POSSIBLY NEED ANOTHER BAG. Yes, I do have a bit of a handbag “problem” but let me explain: I  love my purse collection but I realized something recently: a lot of my bags aren’t cut out for day to day wear. With the exception of my black Longchamp bag & a few summer purses, when loaded up with my daily essentials they hurt my shoulder (and this dominoes into back pain). My body was in pain all the time so I just didn’t notice. This purse isn’t as exciting as some of my other ones but it’s actually comfortable! Plus, it’s a bit smaller which will encourage me to carry less stuff on a daily basis. It was brand new but previously owned so I was able to get it at a very good price. No shoulder pain = worth every penny.

My Dad, instead of giving me a physical Christmas gift, decided to pay for some of my counselling sessions which is way better than anything he could have physically put under the tree.

Instead of hitting up the Aritzia winter sale (which I do enjoy oh so much) I’m using that money to book an appointment with a personal trainer.

Now when I’m faced with making a purchase I try and ask myself “Do I need it? Am I going to feel good about myself for spending my money on this?” If the answer is “no” and the money would be better spent on something I need more, I walk way. Taking control like this feels pretty amazing.

I’ve also started keeping a list of things I actually need and only shopping from that list. It takes a bit of discipline but it works! I already have my next purchase planned out: an electric toothbrush. It’s never too early to start preventing gum disease.

I wonder if Carrie Bradshaw ever worried about her gums?

What does “spending on the right things” mean to you?

A Holiday Gift Guide to Make you Say Ohhh

Something I’ve learned over the past year is that even when life is busy or you’re stressed, you need to take the time to do stuff that makes you feel sexy. Even if you’re the only one who’s going to enjoy it, get that that Brazilian wax, put on that sassy underwear, do whatever it is that makes you feel good – it makes a huge difference.

This is why I’m really excited to announce that Skinny Dip has partnered with Ohhh Canada to do some sexy product  reviews and blog posts. Ohhh Canada is a Canadian owned and operated online store dedicated to selling luxury body safe sex toys, lingerie and other fun items to make you feel good. I met Katrina, the owner and founder of Ohhh last fall and instantly liked what she was about – she’s super friendly, fun to talk to and all about promoting sex positivity and quality products. I’m really excited to be working with her!

Before I left Toronto, Katrina generously bestowed upon me some fun sexy items to try out while I was home on the West Coast. In return, I’ve put together a sexy holiday gift guide based on some of the goodies I tried.

(Can I just say, how cute is their name and logo?!)

1. Kissaholic Aphrodisiac Plumping Lip Gloss by Booty Parlor ($15.99): This lip gloss is infused with an actual aphrodisiac to make you irresistable to anyone who gets close to your lips. I tried the lip gloss in “Tremble” – a sheer “skinny-dip-esque” pink that has just the perfect amount of shimmer. Does this stuff actually work? Hmm, I’m not sure.  What I can tell you is that it that it feels nice on your lips, smells yummy and has a delicious bubble gum and peppermint taste! Aprodisacs are meant not only to stimulate amorous feelings but also just general “feel-good” feelings. I think I might have to gift this to some of my girlfriends and also subject the product to further testing 😉

2. Red Mesh Dress with Garters by Baci Lingerie. ($24.99) I’m just going to put this out there: I’m a bit of a lingerie snob. I’ve encountered my share of scratchy, ill fitting cheap lingerie. I’m also super petite with substandard sized, bird-like limbs, so I tend to shy away from brands I’m not familiar with, especially if I’m ordering online and can’t try it on first (There’s nothing less sexy than thigh highs that are too baggy to stay up!) I’ve never tried anything made my Baci so, I was curious (and maybe somewhat skeptical!) however, this red mesh outfit totally won me over.

Let’s just take a moment to acknowledge the obvious hotness of this little number. It’s RED. How can you not feel like a total vixen in red lingerie and garters?!

The front looks like your basic negligee however, it’s gathered in the back for some peek-a-boo action. You can wear it with a thong, or a pair of boys-cut panties. Katrina gave me a pair of these fishnet thigh highs ($6.99) to pair with the outfit. The best part of this whole ensemble?! (Besides feeling like a total sex kitten while I strutted around my apartment solo)

Everything ACTUALLY FIT ME! Also, the quality was very nice. The fabric was super soft, nicely woven and you can tell will keep its shape* This line has totally won me over. With the extremely affordable price tag ($24.99) Baci is a great option for those of us with Agent Provocateur taste and a Costco budget.

*The outfit was actually so comfortable that I threw a robe on top and kind of forgot I was wearing it while I watched a bunch of back to back episodes of 30-Rock. Welcome to my life.

3. Blossom Organics Moisturizing Lubricant: Lets get real here, sometimes you just need a little lube. The right lube can totally enhance the experience. My body is super sensitive so, for a long time I shied away from using lube because I’d always get really bad reactions from the stuff that’s sold at drugstores (this is because a lot of that stuff is full of all kinds of gross chemicals that really shouldn’t go anywhere near that part of the body!) Blossom Organics is a lube designed especially for women. It’s Ph balanced and made with organic ingredients you’d find on the shelf of your health food store. It’s safe to use with a partner or toys. The best part? It’s totally non-irritating! If the idea of giving someone lube for Christmas totally creeps you out, I still recommend picking some of this stuff up for yourself. Happy lady parts are the gift that keeps on giving!

What’s on your holiday list this year?

Oh, Hello Lover!

I have lots I want to blog about but, the weather has been so beautiful in Toronto the past few days that I am having a hard time tearing myself away from the sunshine. I made a promise to myself that I would write more of the Ex-Boyfriend letters (since some of you asked) but, to be honest I’ve been in too good a mood lately to “go there”. When faced with the choice of window shopping on Queen St & writing silly posts where I make fun of sex toys OR documenting details of a past painful relationship, the former two have been winning out lately. The Ex-Boyfriends can wait.

A while back my friend Cristina of the Shoe Tease fame came over to document a love of mine that will always remain true: My shoe collection.

Cristina took some fantastic photos & you can read the rest of the post here.

Cristina got me to do something I’ve never done in bed before: roll around in a pile of shoes.

I had a lot of fun working with Cristina. This is partly due to the fact that we seem to share the same mind-slightly-in-the-gutter sense of humor. Whenever she’d say stuff like:

“Ok, Simone its time to try a new position”.


“Lets try it with you on your back”


“Could you just move your legs a tiny bit further apart?”

…we’d both be laughing.

I don’t know if it was the way I had to contort my body to make some of the poses work or the lunges I did that morning while I was working out but, I was really sore the day after our photo shoot. Modeling and posing (especially if you’re not a model) is hard work!

(Pssst. If you love shoes as much as I do, I suggest you check out Cristina’s blog for your daily dose of shoe porn. I am lusting after these hot pink beauties this week)

What have you guys been up to? Tell me what’s new!

What are YOUR favorite pair of shoes?

Latest pins

Follow on Pinterest