The Skinny | How to Buy Your First Sex Toy

While I’m trying to wrap my head around everything that is happening in my life with work, packing & moving, I thought I would write a bit about one of my favourite topics. A couple of you have asked me for advice on sex toy shopping, so I thought it was time I wrote a post about it!

I truly believe that you have to know how make yourself feel good, before you can expect someone else to. Every woman deserves have at least one sex toy that totally rocks their world. However, shopping for adult toys can be a totally overwhelming and confusing experience – especially if it’s your first time! Between all the different colours, shapes, and functions (not to mention utterly bizarre sex toys that are available) – the options are enough to make your head spin.

Over the past two years I’ve been really lucky to have had the opportunity to try a bunch of different adult toys and write about them. Writing, discussing and trying new adult toys has become so common place for me that I often forget that other people aren’t as well versed on the subject as I am and don’t have an extensive collection of sexy goodies hidden under their bed.

When I was at Bloggers in Sin City this past spring, a few of the girls approached me and asked for my advice on picking out a new (or first) toy. Never one to shy away from a fun shopping adventure, I told them I’d totally help out (which sounded more like this: “OMG, we’re totally going to go shopping!!!! Yay sex toys!!!”). However, the shopping mission got thwarted by the killer hangover I woke up with on the final day of the conference. I think my exact words to Grace and Almie  that morning were:

“I need some Gatorade, Pepto Bismal and Coffee. I have no idea in what order, just that I need them ALL RIGHT NOW”

The last thing I wanted to do was loose my lunch at a adult store on The Strip (however, I’m sure I wouldn’t be the first person) so I conveniently didn’t bring up the subject of the proposed shopping trip. I still feel kind of bad about that so that’s why I’ve put together this post.

HOW TO BUY YOUR FIRST SEX TOY:

1. Find a store you’re comfortable with. I used to be dead-set on only buying toys from actual, physical stores, however over the past year my preference has definitely switched to online shopping. Although there are a couple of really awesome stores in Toronto that sell toys, I find that online stores tend to have a larger product selection. Plus, you can browse for however long you want without ever feeling like you’re under the watchful eye of staff. Nothing makes you feel like a pervert like having the staff repeatedly ask “Can I help you?” when you’re just trying to look at vibrators. I like EdenFantasys because the website is fun, sex-positive, user friendly and features tons of different product reviews. Whether I’m looking at vibrators or picking out a new piece of sexy lingerie, I like being able to read about other people’s experiences so that I can make an informed shopping decision.

2. Decide what kind of stimulation you’re looking for.  Most toys fall into one of three categories: external stimulation (clitoral), internal stimulation (designed to be used inside you) and dual action vibrators which offer a combination of external and internal (these are the toys often referred to as “rabbit vibrators”).

External Stimulation:

Most women need some clitoral stimulation in order to get off. If you’re not sure exactly what kind of toy you’re looking for (or the idea of buying a toy that looks like a brightly coloured penis totally freaks you out), an external vibrator designed to stimulate your C-spot is a great place to start. Often referred to as “bullets”, “massagers” or “discrete vibrators”, Clitoral vibrators come in all different shapes and sizes. Examples of this kind of toy would be the Picobong Ako, the Layaspot by Fun Factory, or the ever popular and very powerful Hitachi Magic Wand. All of these toys are designed to give you killer orgasms without ever entering your body. They’re great for couples play because they tend to be less phallic looking and they can be used to massage other parts of the body.

Silicone vibe with several functions and speeds that fits perfectly into the palm of your hand. Hitachi magic wand vibrator is a two-speed massager with a soft flexible head. Small discreet massager with three programs of speed

Internal:

Often referred to as “G-Spot vibrators” or “traditional vibrators” these toys are designed to be inserted inside you to stimulate the G-Spot and other internal nerve endings. You can also use these toys externally for clitoral stimulation. A lot of these kinds of toys are curved or feature interesting shapes and textures, designed to help you discover & stimulate the elusive G-Spot. Examples of these kinds of toys would be The Lelo Mona (a personal fave), The Slicone G-Spot vibrator and the Extase La Metropole (which sounds less like a vibrator and more like something out of a French spy movie.)

Mona 2 is the upgraded version of silicone G-Spot vibrator, now with 100% increased vibration power alongside fully-waterproof versatility. Sensually soft, ribbed, and pliable Silicone massager bends and flexes to move with you with 7 powerful functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation that resonate throughout. Discreet curved  vibrator made of plastic and aluminum that can be used for clitoral, G or P-spot stimulation.

Dual Stimulation:

If you went through a phase during college where you watched a lot of back to back Sex and the City episodes, you’ll remember the episode where Charlotte purchased (& became addicted to) her first rabbit vibrator. Girl had it bad. Although my friends have never had to stage a “vibrator-vention”,  dual stimulation, rabbit vibrators tend to be my favourite toys for getting the job done. Because they provide both external and internal stimulation, you get more “bang” for your buck. Examples of these kinds of toys are the L’Amour Premium Silicone Thumper, my beloved favourite vibe The Lelo Insignia Soraya, and the Lelo Ina (another toy box fave!)

Purple silicone dual action vibrator with 7 functions of powerful vibration, pulsation and escalation and 3 speeds of shaft rotation. Fully-waterproof multifunction dual-action vibrator made with an ABS core wrapped in the smoothest silicone. Dual-action waterproof silicone vibrator with 8 modes of vibration and two motors.

3. Materials: 

Always, always check the materials to before purchasing a toy. Unfortunately, there are still toys out there made of materials that contain phthalates and other toxic chemicals that have been linked to cancer and other health problems. Protect your girl parts and make sure the toy you are buying is labeled as “body safe and phthalate free”.

Also be aware of texture: Although harder materials like plastic & metal are said to transmit vibrations stronger, I prefer silicone toys because they usually have the silky, velvety feel of skin. It all depends on what you’re into!

4. Price, Features and Quality:  Although I tend to review a lot of high-end toys on Skinny Dip, you don’t need to break the bank to find a toy that makes you squeal with delight. Although I find that the higher end “luxury” toys tend to be better quality and offer more features, you can still find a lot of great body safe toys at a mid-level price range.

Here are a few questions you should keep in mind when you are shopping:

-How quiet is the toy? (You want to make sure that using this toy won’t make your roommates or neighbors think that you’ve suddenly taken a liking to creating late night woodworking projects).

-Does the toy offer multiple speeds and sensations or is it a one trick pony?

-Does the toy come with a warranty? (Sadly, toys do break. Higher end toys often come with a warranty. The last thing you want is for your toy to break right before you’re about to have a fantastic orgasm).

-How is the toy powered? Is it battery operated? Does it plug into the wall? Does it self charge with a wall plug-in like a cell-phone? Personally I prefer toys that are rechargeable because I hate buying batteries.

Figure out what you need & go from there!

5. Relax & have fun! Finding the perfect sex toy for you can take some trial and error. Plan some quiet, uninterrupted “me time”, pour yourself a glass of wine and have fun experimenting!

Did I miss anything? If anyone has any questions, or are feeling shy, please email me!

Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store

This post was brought to you by EdenFantasys. I received a gift card to support my on-going obsession with toys & lingerie in exchange for my honest opinions about the products mentioned.

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