Back to Basics: Meet the Jopen Envy 3

One of my favourite movies is Slums of Beverly Hills. For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, it’s a quirky comedy about a lower middle class teenager (played by Orange is the New Black‘s Natasha Lyonne) living in 1976 Beverly Hills. I saw it when I was in my late teens and it’s remained a fave ever since.

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There are so many awkward and hilarious coming of age moments in the film that occur between Vivian (Lyonne) and her oddball family- including one where Vivian discovers her older sister’s vibrator.

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Although the film takes place in the 70’s, it came out in the late 90’s. Looking back, I realized that this was one of the first times I was ever exposed to anything to do with sex toys. The Sex and The City “Rabbit Habit” episode hadn’t aired yet and it would be years before I bought my first sex toy. However, the image of the large, ultra-straight, vibrator from Slums of Beverly Hills definitely stuck with me.

When I first saw the the Jopen Envy 3, I immediately thought of that scene from the movie. Most of my vibrators are either really small, curved, or rabbit style. So, when the lovely folks at Jopen offered to send me a Jopen Envy 3, I couldn’t resist. How would this toy compare to my other beloved sex toys?

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First of all, here are the specs:  The Jopen Envy 3 is a classic vibrator made of 100% hypoallergenic, body-safe, silky smooth silicone. It’s approximately 7″ long, with 6.5″ of that which is actually insertable – making it a fairly sizeable toy. It offers 7 different vibration settings with incremental speed control and a 100% playing surface – this means that the whole thing vibrates and you can experiment with touching different areas of the toy on different areas of your body. It’s also fully rechargeable by USB and waterproof for bath-time fun.

One of the cool features about this toy is that it includes a state of the art memory chip that keeps track of the last function you used, so that it’s ready to go when you turn it on for your next play session. You can use the Jopen Envy 3 as a clitoral vibrator or you can insert it – or you can alternate between the two (which is what I found I preferred) – it’s totally up to you!

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Playing with this toy was interesting because this is the first toy I’ve owned that is shaped in this classic tall & straight style. Here’s a few things I liked about it:

It’s super easy to use: The Jopen Envy 3 has a flat base (which means you can stand it up on your nightstand if you want!) which has two buttons: one for vibration patterns and one for speed increments. To turn it on, press either button. To turn it off: press both at the same time and the toy stops immediately. Considering I live with other people, this “one touch” off button feature is a real selling point.

It’s pretty – I love the smooth, simplicity of this toy. Yes, it obviously looks like a vibrator, however it’s still neutral. If you don’t enjoy toys that actually look like penises, this is a really elegant option.

The vibrations – They’re deep, rumbly and can be felt all over the toy.

Versatility – Because this toy is long and straight, you can decide how much or how little you want to insert. It also works nicely as a clitoral stimulator.

However, there are a few things Jopen Envy 3 could improve upon:

Intensity – Although it claims to be “the most powerful vibrator” – it’s not. It’s strong, but it’s definitely not the strongest. In fact, when it comes to clitoral stimulation, the We-Vibe Tango does a much better job and it’s less than half the size.

The motor – I’m not sure what the deal is with the motor in this toy, but it makes some pretty funky sounds. On a couple of the settings I could hear the motor clicking and rattling. Considering this is a luxury toy with a corresponding high-end price point, the Jopen Envy 3 definitely doesn’t provide as smooth and quiet a ride as some of my other pricey toys. The motor just seemed slightly unpredictable, like my vagina was riding the yellow Little Miss Sunshine van, careening off towards some uncharted destination.

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(Can you tell I’m a fan of quirky family comedies?) 

With that said, the inconsistent motor doesn’t make the toy “bad”, it just makes it less than perfect. In fact, if I had received this toy as my first vibrator I would have really, really enjoyed it. The vibrations feel great and it’s definitely enough to give you some really nice orgasms.

To get an idea of the size, I had Joe the Intern reluctantly pose next to it.

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Who I would recommend this toy to: 

*First time toy users who aren’t quite sure what they are looking for but want a toy that’s both versatile and luxurious.

*Couples that want a chic, neutral looking toy that can be used internally or externally to add another element to their bedroom play.

*Friends who are looking for a elegant, luxurious bachelorette gift that the bride-to-be will be able to enjoy for years to come (the Jopen Envy 3 comes with a 1 year warranty.)

If you’d like to grab your own Jopen Envy 3, it’s currently available at Sex Toys Canada, where it’s currently on sale for much lower than it’s usual price (yay!)

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Thank you to Jopen for making this review happen! I received this toy free of charge in exchange for my honest opinion about the product. All views are my own because that’s how I roll. 

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