Skinny Dip, Author at Skinny Dip

I got the inspiration for this entry while sitting in a cafe with my Dad this morning, listening to the Jimi Hendrix record they were playing.

One of the rockiest relationships I’ve had in my life has been with the color purple. (And I mean the actual color, not the Alice Walker novel turned Oprah movie turned musical–which I’ve always liked). Purple has never been my favorite color, however I remember a point when we were at least on good terms. I think it was around middle school: I had these bright purple pointy toed oxfords that my Mom bought me in Seattle. I thought they were incredibly sophisticated because they were bought at an adult shoe store in the States no less. I would wear them with my floral pattern “Blossom” dress + a choker necklace and would feel pretty cool (it was the early 90’s after all). Purple was still my friend in high school: I painted my bedroom this pale violet color that matched my celestial theme bedspread (think late 90’s. Luckily this bedspread is long gone). Somewhere in the 2000’s I developed a total hate-on for all things purple and I have no idea why. I decided that purple made me feel angry and I’ve avoided the color ever since. Its weird, I know. Lately though, I am starting to notice the color purple everywhere…and I’m liking it. Actually its starting to freak me out a little bit. For the first time in years I am finding myself attracted to purple things: purple bags, purple shoes, clothing. Maybe this means that Purple and I can be rekindle our friendship?

And why not? Purple reminds me of lots of great things: Prince, Jimi Hendrix, that chubby purple guy who’s friends with the Hamburgler. It’s a shame our friendship had to end. So, today’s fashion post is inspired my some of those happy things.

Here is a brief list of some of the things I’m feeling these days:

+These two Marc by Marc Jacobs bags (above): I love the super soft leather and the extremely vivid colors. Most of my bags are either black, brown, grey or monogrammed so I feel like these would be a nice edition to my bag collection. The company I work for has MBMJ as one of their vendors. However, even with my discount I can’t justify buying either of these, not when I have to pay rent and you know.. eat & stuff. Still, I can lust from afar.

+Motorcycle boots: These ones by AE are surprisingly cute & affordable. I’ve been doing the whole riding boot look for the past two years, and I thought this style of boot would be a nice way to mix things up for this season. I’ve noticed some of the girls at work have been wearing similar boots with tights & silk dresses–a perfect mix of tough & pretty.

+Black lace tights: I’ve been wearing my pair several times a week and receiving a lot of compliments &inquiries about where I bought them. I really enjoy fun hosiery. Its an inexpensive way to add flare to an otherwise simple or basic outfit.

+Black lace tops: I’m really enjoying a lot of the lace detailing I’ve been seeing lately. Personally, I think lace shirts have the potential to go very, very wrong however I like the one above since it gives a bit of coverage. It has a early 90’s Madonna in “Truth or Dare” vibe that I really like.

+The Purple Dress above: I have the same dress in black and now I want it in purple. I can’t explain it. I just do.

What are you lusting after these days?

I’m not really sure why I agreed to go out with “H” in the first place.

H and I worked in the same building. When I met him I was just starting to get over “Dave the Rollerblader” (an over-tanned Juice Pig who broke my heart—which all seems laughable now because I can’t really remember why I even liked him in the first place). I figured it was time to “get back on the horse” so to speak. So, when H. came up to me one day and said “I just got some free movie passes. Would you like to go with me tomorrow night?”, I said to myself the 6 words that everyone always lives to regret:

“Yeah sure, what could it hurt?”.

I met H. after work the next day.

The first thing I noticed was his date attire. He had on giant, ass-sagging jeans and a massive hoodie that he’d pulled over his head and tightened so that his face was mostly obscured. HUH? When I met him he was wearing a suit. Was this even the same guy?! I had come straight from work so I was wearing a black short skirt, a matching cropped blazer and high heels (Fashion wise I like to call this my “Ally McBeal phase”). All I could think was:

This isn’t going to go well.

I was starving, so I suggested we go to this little Vietnamese restaurant right next to the movie theatre for some quick eats. Once we were seated I looked at him from behind my menu and asked him what he was going to order. He sipped on his water and replied,

“Uh, I’m not going to get anything. I’m kind of broke right now so I ate before I came”

(WHAT?)

“So, you’re just going to watch me eat?”

“Uh, yes I guess so”

“Do you want a coffee or something?”

“Is it going to cost more than two bucks?”

I ended up ordering the coffee for him anyways, because I figured it would give him something to do other than stare at me while I ate. But that’s exactly what happened anyways: he watched me, nursing his $2 coffee while I chowed down on a giant plate of coconut noodles & BBQ pork. We pretty much had nothing to say to each other. However to ease the tension he decided that now was the time to share one of his “freestyle raps/poetry pieces” that he had been working on. Because performing BAD freestyle raps, while eating at a quiet Vietnamese restaurant is surely going to make things LESS AWKWARD. Right. The restaurant staff were staring. I was cringing. I was suddenly overcome with the urge to slide under the table. To get out of there as quick as possible, I grabbed the bill.

I guess that $2 was burning a hole in his pocket because when we got to the movie theatre he says to me “Do you want some snacks?”

Of course I wanted snacks! If I was going to survive the rest of this date I was going to need some kind of corn syrup sweetened snack or beverage STAT. However I was kind of skeptical, can you actually buy anything at a movie theatre concession stand for less than $2?!

When he came back from the snack bar, he had ONE small popcorn and ONE small drink with ONE straw. He says to me,

“I thought we could share”

After his dinnertime rap performance I KNEW there wasn’t going to be a goodnight kiss– the last thing I wanted to do was swap mouth cooties with this dude over a communal straw. I politely told him not to worry about it and went and bought a second drink for myself.

I did get kind of hungry during the movie, but every time I looked over at the popcorn, I saw the edge of his grubby hoodie and his long tarantula-like bony fingers digging into the bag, stuffing big handfuls of popcorn into his mouth. Instead of taking the risk of accidentally touching hands, I decided to try and concentrate on the movie.

The movie we went to see was called “Very Bad Things”. Are you feeling the symbolism?! I am.

As we excited the movie theatre, H ran excitedly towards a man standing in the lobby: “OMG, A GUY GIVING A FREE BALLOONS! COOL! DO YOU WANT A FREE BALLOON?!”

(Well, they’re free aren’t they?!)

So, with my balloon that said “Very Bad Things” floating above us, he said:

“We should totally do this again sometime”

When I started to visualize what a second date with him would entail (Money Mart? a trip to the impound lot? Dog fighting? Bail money?) I blurted out:

“NO! I DON’T THINK WE SHOULD!”

That was how my date with H. ended.

Things we can learn from this date:

1) Guys, don’t ask a girl out on a date if you can’t afford to actually go on a date. I’m all about being wined and dined. However, if you’re broke, at least try and hide it from the girl. Don’t let the words “I’m broke” be the first thing you tell her about yourself. Get creative: go for a walk in the park, or the beach, or for dessert. Some of the best dates I’ve had cost little to no money.

2) Performing freestyle raps (for non-ironic reasons), especially if you’re not good at rapping is never a good idea. Sure, this kind of thing may work for guys like Jay-Z. However, Jay-Z can also afford to buy his own coffee. You’re not Jay-Z. You never will be. Just don’t do it.

Some of you may think I am being a bit hard on this guy, but here is the epilogue to the story:

About a year later, H. came into my place of work. When my teenage coworker saw him she whispered to me: “That’s the guy who broke my friend’s heart!”. As it turns H (who was in his early 20’s at the time) liked to invite High School girls to parties, get them drunk, de-virginize them and then dump them a few days later. He’d apparently done this with my coworker’s friend and several other girls at her school. I imagine me actually being legal age must have been an exception to his normal dating routine.

His behavior must have eventually caught up with him because 3 years later I saw him in the grocery store with a much younger looking girl and 4 small children who looked just like him. I managed to duck behind a display of soup before he was able to see me.

Not that things EVER would have progressed beyond that first date but, I’ll still consider this a MAJOR BULLET DODGED.

What’s the worst first date you’ve been on?

I really needed to read this quote this morning. (Thanks Tupac you always make me feel better)

Yesterday I had this really low moment where I said to myself:

“I feel like a failure”

I know its kind of harsh, but that was exactly how I felt at that moment.

(of course this all came about while I was sitting alone in a coffee shop, listening to the bad Lionel Richie CD they were playing—which I’m sure made everything seem worse than it really was. Lionel Richie is good for that)

I feel a bit better this morning. And reading this quote reminded me of a few things:

I’ve wasted so much time in the past worrying about things I have done, things I should have done but didn’t, school courses I should have tried harder in, people I maybe shouldn’t have slept with, substances I ingested but probably shouldn’t have, people I shouldn’t have loved but did, friendships I let unravel, opportunities I should have gone after, my LSAT score, not getting into Law school the first time around… and the list goes on. This is the kind of stuff that can seriously keep you up at night. What I’ve realized is its all just a huge waste of energy. Yes, there are things I could have done differently in the past, but you can’t change the past. The past is over. And really all any of us really have is today. So, be kind to yourself, keep moving forward and make today a good day.

And with that said, I’m going to be spending part of today cleaning my house and getting ready for my Dad’s visit. He’s coming to visit from BC and will be staying with me for 6 days. So, if you don’t see me online its probably because I am out with my Dad, walking around the city, going to our favorite restaurants, drinking coffee and checking out museums. I always find it refreshing experiencing Toronto through the eyes of someone who doesn’t live here so, I’m really looking forward to the next few days.

{quote found via We Heart It}

Do you ever have these moments of doubt like I do? What do you have planned for today?

My best friend asked me a really good question the other day:

“Is it weird revealing so much personal stuff online in your blog?”

Yes & No.

Sometimes after I publish a post I’ll have a moment of panic where I’ll think “Oh my god, I just wrote THAT online”. But that moment usually subsides. I always console myself with the false sense of security that hardly anyone reads this anyways (which I know is not true).

To be honest, writing about my life in a public forum feels really liberating. I started this blog because I wanted a place to record and reflect on everything that’s happened to me since I’ve moved to this city. I’ve had a lot of experiences, however I also feel like I’ve carried around the emotional weight of these experiences. Especially as I head towards 30, I don’t want to do this anymore. This is where the idea of “Skinny Dipping” comes in. My intention is to write about these experiences and let them go. I guess you could say Skinny Dip is about catharsis: stripping down, diving in & coming out the other side feeling refreshed.

There is something to be said about letting go. The more I write about my life, especially the experiences that were painful or just embarrassing, the lighter I feel. By letting go of where I have been, I now have more room to think about and discuss where I am heading, my goals and my future. It feels great.

I’ve already shared on here my thoughts on marriage & children, the complete details of a one night stand, my “quarter life crisis”, why tequila and dating Yorkville douchebags do not mix, how I fell out of love with my ex and why I didn’t sleep with my high school crush. Yes, some of these experiences are really personal, but they are mine and they are part of who I am. I don’t really want to hide that anymore.

There are a few things I will not blog about:

+ Any “drama” that’s going on with friends, my family or BF’s family. That’s not the point of this blog.

+ My current job (unless its a fun anecdote like this) or my former employer (although they gave me tons of blog worthy material to work with, I just won’t go there for legal reasons).

+ Anything I wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing with friends over a couple of drinks…

I’ve also come to the conclusion (in particular while writing this list the other day) that I’m a bit of an exhibitionist (sex on cars, cage dancing, unabashed lip sync performances, anyone?). When I mentioned this to my best friend she agreed, adding that she considers me:

“A Classy Exhibitionist”

With all this talk of figurative skinny dipping, there is one thing that this classy exhibitionist has never done: gone Skinny Dipping in real life. Since my “To-Do before 30 List” is seriously lacking in the fun department, I’m adding skinny dipping to the list. Sometime before my 30th birthday I’m going to take it all off, jump in and just do it. –Preferably somewhere warm and NOT Lake Ontario (I’m brave, but not that brave). I can’t wait. I think its going to be great.

{Today’s photo is from Parasol magazine}

What are you/aren’t you willing to reveal on the internet?

I’m very excited to announce that the lovely SandyB has bestowed upon me my very first blog award! (“The Honest Scrap Award”) I’ve seen these on other people’s blogs but have never been a recipient– until now. Thanks SandyB, you’re awesome.

Once you’ve received the Award, you need to complete the following responsibilities:

1) List 10 HONEST, personal (or bizarre? interesting?) things about yourself that you wouldn’t normally tell people (except maybe a therapist who is paid to listen to this kind of stuff?)

2) Pass this award on to 10 other bloggers that you love to read & think others should too.

3) Tell your friends to check out the award giver’s blog–In this case SandyB because her blog is a lot of fun. Remember to tell the giver that you’ve completed these steps so that they can go read your lists.

My Honest Facts:

1) Following the death of a close family friend when I was in Junior High I became very, very depressed. I could barely function and my Mom had to send me to a therapist for teens. My therapist was awesome and the she helped me tremendously.

2) I hate extra oil on my skin or in my pores. If I see any oil in my pores or anything that looks like it will develop into a blackhead I have to squeeze it out. I read in an interview with Lisa Left Eye Lopez of 90’s R&B group TLC, that she also had the exact same weird habit. This made me feel less alone. (I also enjoy collecting trivia on washed up R&B groups from the 90’s)

3) I often relate everyday happenings in my life to specific episodes of How I Met Your Mother. Like “So and So, would be off the charts on Barney’s Crazy/Hot Scale” or “I think _____ is actually the Sexless Innkeeper”. BF actually started to watch a few episodes with me (probably so he could figure out what I’m talking about half the time).

4) I think I must have this weird electro-magnetic energy that flows through my body because whenever I wear a watch the battery always dies, within a few days to a few weeks. BF has given me two fancy watches since we’ve been together. Both were dead before the 3 week mark. Also my wrists are so small its hard to even find watches that fit me (outside of shopping in the children’s department). I’ve just gave up on watches all together.

5) The most interesting place I’ve ever had sex is on the roof of a parked car. Now, THAT is a good story. (What can I say? Danger and hard surfaces turn me on)

6) Years ago I was seeing a guy who had erectile difficulties. Out of sexual frustration I decided to see another guy on the side. The first night we were together I discovered he also had erectile difficulties. It was a shady thing to do in the first place and you could say that I got what I deserved. Guys who’ve heard this story have reported that for a week afterwards THEY had problems getting it up. Obviously its contagious.

7) FYI. Viagra doesn’t make sex better. It just makes bad sex last longer.

8) In Junior High I performed a very embarrassing lip sync and dance routine to Michael Jackson’s “Beat It”. I even wore a costume, memorized dance moves and loaded my curly hair up with gel to simulate a Jheri curl. People actually clapped.

9) Whenever I’m walking around town listening to my ipod I’m usually choreographing dance routines or writing stories in my head. I’m really surprised I haven’t been hit by a car yet.

10) I danced in a cage one night while at a club in Italy. It was a dare but honestly I didn’t need much coaxing. That Grappa is really strong stuff.

Ten Blogs I think are great:

(As I mentioned yesterday, I only read a handful of non-fashion blogs. I’m sure some of the bloggers listed here will not read this however I will me mention them anyways because I enjoy their blogs)

1. Reinventing SandyB (This girl is awesome. She’s made a “To-Do List before 30” and she’s blogging about the process as she completes each item. We’re pretty much exactly the same age. When I discovered her blog I could relate right away to everything she was writing about)

2. Makeunder My Life (Jess has her own business & blogs about “MakingUnder” her life. An amazing blog full of inspiration on how to live life to its fullest)

3. Dating Myself by Kristen Gale (She’s Dating herself & blogging about it! She’s also quirky and adorable and she had me at the Chuck Norris pick-up line.)

4.I’m Boy Crazy (Comments on dating that are STRAIGHT UP, no chaser. Hilarious and always truthful. Full of pearls of wisdom)

5. Ramblings of a Fab Brunette (I envy this author’s baking skills & shoe collection! She always keeps things Fab but also still very down-to-earth.)

6. Daily Work-It (A great fashion blog written by someone who works in the Fashion Industry, photographs her co-workers outfits & posts photos of her own fabulous outfits she’s styled on a budget.)

7. Amber of the Moment (Amber is my friend so I am bias! I think she’s done a great job with her blog. Its full of photos, anecdotes and book reviews & it reads like a scrap book of her day to day life)

8. Ukulele Misfit (Ange is one of my best friends and she just started her own blog. Its full of quirky design, art, and of course Ukulele’s!)

9. We’ve Got Paper (I’ve known Julie for years now too. She’s one of the most honest & open-minded people I know. She also has her own stationery design biz, takes tons of beautiful photos and has a very adorable son!)

10. Greta’s Guide (This blog has a little bit of everything: straightforward and intelligent comments on Fashion, Beauty, Life and Culture)

YOU: Go forth and read blogs!

BLOGS MENTIONED: I gave you 10, now you have to give me 10 more.

Let’s Be Friends Again

Blind Date

Me Against Me

Skinny Dipping

10 Confessions about Myself

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