Last night I joined a Ladies Club!

I guess this is kind of a big deal for me because I’ve never been much of a “joiner” of anything really. While growing up I always did lots of activities (ballet, swimming, choir, cello lessons, public speaking, pottery & art classes) and in high school I belonged to our school’s drama group but other than that I’ve never really belonged to any official “clubs”. When I sat back and thought about it I came to the conclusion that things like book clubs, running groups and social activity clubs have always kind of freaked me out. So, I had to ask myself “why is this?”. I came up with a few reasons: #1: Although I have great group of close friends, lots of acquaintances and a decent social life, deep down I’m kind of a loner at heart. I love spending time alone and the thought of doing lots of group activities is kind of intimidating (what if the people don’t like me? What if I get there and realize I’d rather be alone?)
#2. Joining something means that I actually have to make a commitment to something and follow through with it. For someone who’s had her share of commitment issues this is also daunting.
#3. I don’t often find stuff that I want to join & that I really feel is “me”. But, maybe that’s an adjustment I have to make on my part. As I was saying before: I’m in a transitional period of my life and in order to get what I want out of it, I really need to get out of my comfort zone and expand my social network. And what better way to do this than in the company of other creative, motivated women?!

So, last night I took the first step and attended the event above….and it was a lot of fun! Although I arrived at the event late (I had to make a mad dash straight from work) and missed most of the introductions, I can tell that its a going to be a good group of people: lots of different backgrounds & things to share, lots of energy & positivity! Together we’re planning on doing a mix of events that focus on community service & personal growth. I’m really looking forward to getting to know some new people, learning & getting inspired by them.

I guess before I go any further I should mention that the event was co-hosted by Kristen Gale–a fellow Toronto blogger and author of one of my favorite blogs! –at the Queen West location of her beauty bar The Ten Spot. I’ve actually been meaning to send her an email for a while to let her know I enjoy her blog, however I’ve been chickening out because well, I didn’t want to seem like a “creepy stalker”. Meeting in person: way better and not creepy at all!!! And, Kirsten is just as lovely & sun-shiny in real life! I’m really excited to sit down with her at some point & talk about life and blogging. I also know there are a few other bloggers in the group so I’m looking forward to connecting with them as well. Once we get rolling with the activities I might even post a bit about some of the stuff we’re doing.

PS. No offense to the Guys, but I really think getting the hang of networking is going to be much easier amongst the company of like-minded women who already share some common interests. All women definitely eliminates the creepy pervert factor. In my limited experience when trying to “network” with guys there is always the question of whether they are honestly interested in helping you or whether they really are more interested in sleeping with you, or finding out if they could sleep with you, or imagining sleeping with you while they’re still talking to you .Yes, Creepy Photographer & the Weird Dude from Fashion Week who gave me the Pervert Googly Eyes when I handed you my business card, I’M TALKING TO YOU.

Are you a natural “joiner” or do you (like me) tend to shy away from organized group activities? What’s something that’s normally out of your comfort zone that you have recently tried or would like to try?

Its a rainy night here in Toronto and I’m experiencing a bit of writers block. Its not that I don’t have things that I want to write about but, rather I feel like I have too much to say and I’m not really sure where to start. Luckily, my friend Megan tagged me in this “Questions and Answers” exercise that she posted in her blog.
It’s basically like a mini “interview”–she asks me a set of questions and I post the answers here. A good way to kick start the writing process! If you’re interested in participating, here is how it works:

• You comment on my questions and I’ll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity
• Update your blog with the answers to the questions.
• Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions.

Megan asked some really good questions & here are the answers:

1.Who was your favorite professor in university and why?
This is kind of a bit of a cop-out because I think almost everyone in my program loved the guy but, I’d have to say Professor Ivan Kalmar. He taught the Linguistic & Semiotic section of the first intro Anthropology course I took. He did a whole lecture about the cultural context of Hip Hop where he analyzed 2Pac lyrics and played Eminem songs for us. A few weeks later I switched my major to Anthropology and never looked back. Later in my degree I took his class on the Anthropology of Popular culture–one of my favorite classes from undergrad. We discussed everything from Wrestling, to Foucoult to Sasha Baron Cohen to Pornography to Strip Bars. The course also had a “field work” component where we had to go out into the community and conduct research on contemporary aspects of pop culture. My research group was sent to spend a week hanging out at The Brass Rail (a local strip club) & write about our observations. That was the first and only time I’ve ever had the chance to use the expressions “spread eagle” and “erection section” in an academic paper. That paper was also the first A+ I received at U of T. My prof published it on his website. I don’t know if it is still up but it used to be one of the first things that popped up when you googled my name. Try it if you’re bored and you want to read about me and strippers.

2. If you could go back and un-date one of the people you had dated in the past, who would it be and why?
This a toss-up between two people…

I) Dating THIS DUDE. I was around 18-19 when I got involved with him. My family and friends hated him– for good reasons. He was bad news: older, a player, manipulative, drug dealer…the list goes on. I was very naive when I met him. I thought he was “charming” (In retrospect he was just creepy and manipulative) and got lured in by his bad-boy appeal. He wooed me, I fell for him. Once he had me wrapped around his finger things got ugly. Without getting into the gory details, the fall-out of our relationship left me with both emotional and physical scars. I was really traumatized for awhile after we stopped seeing each other and I’d sporadically have nightmares & anxiety attacks related to the situation. This was years ago and now I rarely think of him. However, whenever I DO, I kind of feel like throwing up.

I know that you can learn a lot from painful experiences. But this is why I wish I had never dated him: there isn’t some big lesson to be learned here other than he was a shitty person and I shouldn’t have trusted him. I think learning NOT to trust people is a lesson that has hindered me more than helped me in some ways. After this experience I had difficulty trusting people–even the good people in my life. And it took a few years to really get past this–I still am working on this to a certain extent. Learning that you can’t trust everyone IS an important part of growing up however I’m pretty sure I could have learned the same lesson some other way without ever dating this guy.

II) The runner up: dating my co-worker a few years ago. I’d love to also erase that one. It was a rebound relationship that never should have happened. He was a nice person but we weren’t right for each other. Plus I wasn’t in the right place to be dating anyone at that time. In normal circumstances we would have just broken up and gone our separate ways. However, when things ended we still had to work together. All day. Everyday. So awkward. Plus there was the office rumor mill to deal with. We dated in secret, but a few people found out, then a few more….then people started asking me if the rumors were true…ugh. It just never went away. It was embarrassing. People were still asking me about it almost 3 years later. ERASE! DELETE!

(I did however learn an important lesson here: don’t shit where you eat)

3. If you were Tyra Banks (stay with me here) and it was a new season of Top Model, only better than the crap it currently is, what would be the first modeling challenge you’d assign?
Oh god, this is a tough one! Maybe this is better suited to a show like Project Runway or the Rachel Zoe show but, I would love to send the contestants to a store that is ridiculously unfashionable in the traditonal sense (ie. a store that sells works clothes, military surplus or a particularly decrepid thrift store) and then have everyone compete to come up looks like reflect current runway trends. My sister and I came up with this idea a few summers ago while wandering around Mark’s Work Warehouse while my cousin purchased a new hard hat and goggles for her husband. Maybe this could be an all new reality show of its own!

4. do you find yourself a procrastinator or do you plan ahead and get things done early?
I’m a bit of both. When it comes to doing stuff that I don’t enjoy (ie. calling call centers, dealing with money issues, confronting people) I tend to procrastinate until the very last minute. However when it comes to stuff I actually consider as “fun” (deciding what to pack for trips, planning my birthday party or doing my Christmas shopping) I plan ridiculously far in advance (that’s the Virgo in me I think). As a student I started off as a proscrastinator and pulled a lot of all-nighters during First Year University. However that got old fast. I started working on all my projects as far in advance as possible because it created less stress.

5. What is the biggest/best difference between Vancouver and Toronto?
Definitely PHYSICAL ENVIRONMENT. As far as setting and natural beauty goes, Vancouver wins hands down: the mountains, the ocean, Stanley Park, the laid back atmosphere–all of this makes Vancouver really spectacular. And on a warm sunny day, there is nowhere else I’d rather be. However what Toronto lacks in beauty it makes up for in diversity: people, food, culture, things to do in the city. Also the night life is way better (in my opinion). You just have so many more options: hundreds of pubs, bars, clubs & countless events to choose from on any given night. What Toronto lacks in a laid back vibe, it makes up for in energy & spirit. Even on a night where the temperatures are far below zero, you’ll still find the clubs packed, often with line-ups out the door. I think we party more here to make up for how crappy the winter is. If I could live in Vancouver but also have access to all the things I love about Toronto (the people I love, the cultural events, the nightlife, the shopping) all in one city, THAT would be the perfect city for me.

Who wants to be interviewed next?

{Today’s photo was found via we heart it
and it totally reminds me of winter on the West Coast!}

Since I only wrote about one of the shows I went to for Toronto Fashion Week, I really wanted to write a full run-down of everything I saw. So, I sat down at my laptop this morning, wrote a full entry, (complete with photos that I took at the shows) only to realize later that it was long, tedious and the multiple photos caused a lot of spacing problems. I deleted the entry. Instead of boring you guys- here is the “Skinny” version of my adventures at Toronto Fashion Week.

Other highlights:

+The open bar @ Greta Constantine: All you can drink Martinis made with $50/ bottle premium vodka imported from

Poland. The nicest (&most dangerous) open bar I’ve seen yet. I restrained myself…barely.

+Having the chance to speak with one 1/2 of the Greta Constantine design duo!

+ Sitting in the second row, right behind Ben Mulroney. In case you were wondering, his hair doesn’t move in person

either. Like, AT ALL.

+Sitting right across from Jeanne Beker at the Evan Biddell show. Kind of cool- I grew up watching her show on TV.

+Spotting “Beach Guy” at two different shows. (Who is he?!! And why was he there?!). I didn’t have the nerve to go

up and say “Hey, remember me? You used me as Gay Deterrent” but I totally should have.

Awkward Moments:

+ Getting cornered by a fashion photographer (who looked like a bloated Gianni Versace) who spent 20 minutes

talking to me about how much he “loves young, hot girls”. To which I replied,

“That’s nice. I‘m not really into Daddy types. I’m more into corrupting the young ones”

(which caused my friend to burst out laughing).

+Having a moment of panic later in the night when I noticed the photographer was taking photos of my gorgeous,

slightly tipsy friend. Where was he hiding that camera?! CREEPY. I quickly grabbed my friend and left.

+Seeing the same guy at the three other shows I went to. I ducked behind my friend, and avoided eye contact.

Things I have learned from Fashion Week (or attending any kind of networking event):

+ Look your best but be comfortable. Don’t wear the Miu Miu purse with the wooden handle.

Yes, its a hot bag but carrying it around all night hurts. Literally. You’ll wake up the next day with bruised shoulders

like I did.

+ Bring enough business cards (I didn’t) and keep them somewhere really accessible.

+Bring hand sanitizer. You’ll shake a lot of hands. I ended up catching the flu. A true story.

+When networking follow these rules

( yes, I learned this from an episode of Ugly Betty–my new favorite show– but, its good advice):

When introducing yourself always say: your name, where you work/what you do and one memorable fact.

For example,

“My name is Simone and I’m writing a freelance article for Slice.

In my spare time I like to blog about my personal life over

at skinnydip.ca. Here is my card”

Find out the same info from the other person. Then you can assess how they may be able to help you. For his

personal “fact” Creepy Photographer revealed to me that he also enjoys hanging out with prostitutes, sleeping with

models and leather. Disturbing but memorable.

This year I went to 4 shows. Next year I want to attend the whole week.

After that: New York Fashion Week!

They say dream big right?!