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Attracting Your Extraordinary Love Giveaway

It’s Monday which means it’s time for another book giveaway!

This week I’m giving away a copy of Attracting Your Extraordinary Love by Ricky Cohen. If you’re looking to find love or just get to know yourself better, this book might be for you. The author brings together insights from the greatest thinkers and scholars to help empower readers so that they can live well and attract true love. Hey, sounds good to me!

More about the book: 

“Attracting Your Extraordinary Love, an intimate, uplifting work about knowing who you are and finding a love that will fulfill you. Ricky Cohen teaches us that love – true love – is the fiber of life. This wonderful book empowers you with the understanding that your ability to find your love mate exists within you.”

For someone who claims to have a hate-on for self help and inspirational books, I seem to be reading and writing about a heck of a lot of them lately. I actually read the book a few weeks ago and found it pretty interesting. My Mom has this saying: “Build a happy life on your own. Eventually you will attract someone who also has a happy life & you can be happy together” This is basically the premise of the book. Be happy with yourself first because after all, relationships are merely the chocolate sprinkles on top of the Pumpkin Latte of life. Or something like that.

I recently had the chance to interview the author and ask him about his views on love, soulmates &  sex (but of course!). To read my interview AND for information on how to win a copy of the book, please see below:

1. What inspired you to write “Attracting your Extraordinary Love”? Finding and keeping your forever or extraordinary love are two of the greatest challenges – and opportunities in life. There is no deeper joy than the joy felt with someone who has completely committed himself to you–and , and the pain of separation or loss of relationship is unparalleled as well. Having searched in my own life for the insights that would help me find my forever love, I had a personal sense of the challenges involved. Ancient scholars provided some remarkable and profound direction.

2. When it comes to finding love, how much does it have to do with your own actions vs. forces out of your control? (the universe, fate, destiny or what have you.) 
There is no guaranteed fate or destiny but there is a possibility, a potential. There is at least one person who is extremely well suited for each of us. Our positive actions will effectively access what has been earmarked for us – negative or no actions will shut down that possibility.

3. You write about both “Soulmates” and “Lovemates” in your book. How do you define a “Soulmate” and how does this differ from a “Lovemate”?  
A soulmate is someone who will know you thoroughly, guiding you and enriching your life. He or she could be a dear friend, family member, teacher or a stranger. He or she will come into your life for an extended period of time or just a few minutes. There will be a love felt for that person but it is a love of dear friends – the love felt for a mentor. A lovemate is your extraordinary love. He is the person to whom you will give yourself, in order to express the most deep felt possible passion and connectedness. A lovemate will pose the possibility, and provide the opportunity, to come most completely into your own true self and to build your legacy –whether that be through children or other ways to engage the world around you.


4. One of the things I really enjoyed about your book is that you place a strong emphasis on the need to find and love yourself before you can find and love someone else. Two of my favorite quotes from your book are “your love mate can only be your everything if he is not your everything” and “the key to finding your love mate is to find yourself first”. What do you suggest to people who are looking to find themselves and greater sense of self-love?
Go to a place that you cherish and where you’re inspired and happy, and ask yourself the question: If I could do anything at all, if I didn’t have to worry about money, the approval of others… What would I chose to do? Once you’ve answered that question, the next question is: When I think about spending my days doing this, how does it make me feel? If you feel energized and scared you know you’re on to it.


5. In your book you stress that it’s important to listen to your gut. How does this relate to relationships and finding your extraordinary love? People have the ability to think rationally and logically, and they have the ability to think beyond reason or rational with what ancient philosophers call: “The Higher Will.” The Higher Will is not bound by reason or logic and can approach issues without the limitations and the cynicism that logic brings. Without The Higher Will man couldn’t fall in love, nor could he undertake an ambitious goal or dream. For people to grow and engage life as fully as possible, they have to, from time to time, suspend logic and reason and go with the greatest capacity man has which is their gut or their intuitive sense.

6. I noticed that you often refer to finding “him” when discussing finding your lovemate which makes me assume your book is primarily targeted to women. Do you think your advice would just as easily apply to men also looking to find their lovemate? What about same sex couples? We’ve been fortunate in that thousands of people have read the book, a significant percentage have been men. It was simpler to write it with one reference, i.e “him,” rather than continually going back and forth. There’s no reason these insights wouldn’t apply to any and all relationships.

7. We discuss the topic of sex quite often on Skinny Dip. In “Attracting your Extraordinary Love” you refer to sex as “the greatest stumbling block” that needs to be overcome. Could you please elaborate on what you mean here and how it applies to finding true love? Sex is the most intense, deep felt and everlasting expression of the love one feels for another. Something as simple as a hug, as I mentioned in my weekly article, can penetrate to the core of a person – reshaping everything he/she thinks and feels. There is nothing more beautiful, with greater expressive potential, than physical relations. As a result of the power that sex has, there is no greater stumbling block. When insincere sex is shared with little emotion driving it, the message it sends is empty and dishonest. There are few things more hurtful than sex not inspired by love and caring. Often times “people fall in love with the loving” meaning what fuels their relationship is physical relations that masquerade as a real expression of love. A relationship can mistakenly continue long after the real love is gone – or where there was never real love, because people have mistaken loving (sex) for actual love. At a time in our country where such a large percentage of relationships fail, we have to make sure that the physical expressions of love that we offer – and that we accept – are sincere.

8. Is there any other advice, comments or words of wisdom that you would like to share with readers who are hoping to find their own extraordinary love in 2012? There is no greater challenge than finding and living true to what you want most out of life -what truly makes you happy. Finding you, will enable you to find him. This effort requires a lot of courage and some risk taking. Never be afraid. The more you challenge life, the more life will offer in return. In fact, most often life responds with much more than was demand of it. Be courageous, take risks, find what makes you happy… and your extraordinary love will be yours. It’s worked since the beginning of time and it will work for all time.

What do you guys think of Ricky’s advice?

If you’re interested in hearing more and want to win a copy of Ricky’s book, simply comment on this post before February 10th.

Hey @by_simone I’d love to win a copy of Attracting your Extraordinary Love by @rickyandmelive: http://su.pr/Af3VIz

PS. Make sure you check out the Ricky & Me Facebook page where you can also enter to win a resort getaway for 2!

Good Luck! xox

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