So, this happened tonight:
I was walking out the automatic door of the supermarket, when this guy standing on the sidewalk called out to me:
“Hey! I was going to hold the door open for you”
“Why? It’s automatic”
“In case you got hurt”
“Why would I get hurt walking through the door?”
“It could happen”
As I walked away briskly, I could hear him calling him after me:
“Waiiiiiiiit Missssssss. The dooooooooooor”
Luckily I made it to the car, where my Mom and sister were waiting and we drove away.
Later, while I was contemplating all the different potential dangers involving doorways (smacked in the face with door? Catch foot in hinge of door? Purse strap amputation?), I decided to share the story with my Mom and sister.
As I started to describe the situation, my sister interrupted me and said,
“OMG, was it Nye?”
“Who the hell is Nye?!”
“He’s only the most annoying guy in the neighborhood. Was he short and wearing a soccer uniform?”
“Yes!”
“Did he follow you around the store first?”
“Come to think of it, yes. YES HE DID.”
After I finished telling the story, my sister responded by saying.
“Yep, that sounds like Nye!”
“Who is he?”
“Geez, Simone. I just told you. HE’S THE MOST ANNOYING GUY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD”
“Yeah, I get that but what makes him so annoying? I mean, besides the obvious.”
“He used to play on the neighborhood soccer team but I think he was acting weird, so he got kicked off the team. Now he just wears soccer gear all the time and crashes people’s house parties. He also used to babysit ______ ‘s kids but once I saw him accidentally burn one of them with a cigarette so, yeah, that’s not happening anymore”
“That’s a horrible story”
“Hey, I never said I had anything good to say about the guy”
So, there you have it. I finally met the most annoying guy in the neighborhood. It only took 8 months.
Thanks Friday the 13th! I knew you’d pull through with the blog fodder.
Happy Weekend xox
