When you’ve been in a long-term, committed relationship you forget certain things about what it’s like to be single. For example, what it’s like to wake up in a guy’s bed for the first time with only last night’s outfit to wear home. My ex once told me that he liked how I dealt with our first “morning after” together:
“You were scrambling around my apartment trying to locate your underwear. When you realized you only had the pair you’d worn over to my place you said “fuck it!” – you flipped them inside out, and put them on anyways before calling a cab.”
“I did not do that?! Eww, I feel gross for my younger self”
“No it was actually kind of a turn on. I realized then that you were laid back and low-maintenance, which is a good thing”
Although my ex remembers the moment was sexy and humorous, I still cringe whenever I think about it.
In my advanced age I’ve realized that what was once bearable at 23 (sleeping in last night’s makeup, eyes scratchy from falling asleep wearing contacts, last night’s underwear) just isn’t cute at 32. Now that I’m older and marginally wiser, I hate being caught unprepared. I was reminded of this earlier this year when I stayed over at Handsome Guy‘s house, and had a moment of panic when I realized that I was without my trusty Dr Hauschka Moisturizer and Kiehl’s Avocado Eyecream. In my case, along with greater age and wisdom comes a higher maintenance beauty routine.
No one likes to wake up feeling gross, so I thought I’d share with you the “Skinny Dip Sleepover Survival Kit” I’ve put together. If I have the slightest inkling that I might not be sleeping in my own bed, I make sure I pack my toothbrush plus the following items before leaving the house.
1. Condoms: With the exception of a 35 year old guy I encountered who didn’t have any condoms because he thought they were “too impersonal” (and who was clearly living in the 1970’s), single 30-something guys who actually want to get laid tend to keep condoms on hand (hooray!) With that said, I still think it’s wise to bring your own just in case. I love the selection of top-of-the-line condoms that Luckybloke carries (the Glyde Strawberry Ultra aka, “The Official Skinny Dip Condom” is A-MAZING.) Because variety is the spice of life, I totally recommend picking up one of their Condom Sampler 6 packs to prepare for your next overnight mission.
2. Facial Cleansing wipes: If I could give any teen or 20-something skin care advice it’s this: always remove your makeup before bed. Your face will thank you in ten years. However, carrying around a bottle of cleanser can be cumbersome and messy. That’s why facial cleansing cloths that remove dirt and make-up in one sweep like these ones by Neutrogena
are great in a pinch. Not to mention, they’re flat and travel well.
3. Mini bottle of moisturizer: Although I’m pretty comfortable with how I look without make-up on, if I don’t moisturize before I go to bed I look ill in the morning. I recommend bringing a travel sized amount of moisturizer in your survival kit (this is a great way to use up all the free samples you get from Kiehls or another beauty counter!) Although I swear by Dr Hauschka Moisturizer, I’m also a fan of Neutrogena Naturals Multi-Vitamin Nourishing Moisturizer. It’s free of allergens and harsh chemicals, inexpensive, comes in a travel friendly container and doubles as a hand & body lotion in a pinch.
4. Contact Solution and glasses: There’s almost nothing worse than falling asleep while wearing your contacts because you don’t have the proper products to remove them (or are too drunk on orgasms or booze… or both… to care) Even if I’m just heading over to a friend’s place to watch a movie I always bring a small container of contact lens fluid, my contact case and my glasses in case my eyes get dry. Besides, girls in glasses are sexy.
5. Earplugs: Say what?! YES, I SAID EARPLUGS. Since I’ve already shared my inside out underwear story, I might as well admit that I sleep with earplugs all night, ‘errrrrry night. The habit started when I lived in an apartment located on a very busy street and I kept it up when I fell in love and moved in with a snorer. Now I can’t fall asleep without them in my ears. Feel free to judge and talk about me all you want, I WON’T BE ABLE TO HEAR YOU.
6. Medication: Oh wait! There is something worse than waking up with scratchy contacts: waking up and realizing that you are without your morning dose of birth control/acne medication/xanax/brain drugs/what have you. For your own sanity and peace of mind, don’t leave home without them.
7. Foldable shoes: If you insist on leaving the house in five inch heels, I would suggest packing a pair of foldable shoes like these Sidekicks Womens Foldable Ballet Flats to make your walk of shame a little classier.
8. Ahem, “personal” wipes: Straight talk ladies – if you’re in a rush or have the misfortune of hooking up with a guy whose shower actually scares you*, sometimes you just need a little something to “freshen up the bits.” For this kind of situation I would suggest the EdenFantasys Toy and Body Wipes. They’re convenient, affordable and will leave you feeling so fresh & so clean.
*If you’re scared to touch the soap in a someone’s bathroom, you should not be dating this person.
9. An extra pair of panties: As someone who likes to change her underwear multiple times throughout the day, I say that there’s no shame in making sure you have an extra pair of underwear on hand. For maximum comfort and transportability, might I suggest a stretch lace thong by Cosabella, Hanky Panky or a reasonable imitation. Super comfy & folds up into a tiny ball? WIN/WIN!
10. If you pack wisely, you should be able to stash everything away in a cute case that says “I’m not a slut. I’m sex goddess with discerning taste who’s prepared for anything”
( The Benefit Cosmetics Gabbi Makeup Bag – J’adore!)
PS. This isn’t a sponsored post. I just thought it would be fun and possibly helpful to share some of my favorite things!
Did I miss anything? What’s in your sleepover survival kit?