Review of The Womanizer: Great Sex Toy, Terrible Name

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Hey, remember when I wrote about dildos all the time? If you’ve been reading for a while, you may have noticed that there’s been a steady drop off of sex toy reviews over the past year. That’s because (following a bout of sex blogger burnout – it’s a thing, really) I made a promise to myself that I’d only review products that are really unique/amazing and/or totally absurd. Well friends, I have a toy that meets all three criteria. Meet the Womanizer W500: an amazing clitoral stimulator that just happens to have the worst name ever. The lovely folks over at Lovehoney sent me one for review and I’m actually super excited to share my findings with you.

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Before I get started on the review, let’s take a moment to address the obvious:

  • The name is bad. Really, really bad. When I hear the word “womanizer” I think of some middle-aged white man who enjoys stepping out on his wife/girlfriend with Becky from accounting and Rhonda from marketing, while also furiously swiping on Tinder during bathroom breaks. We’ve all met this guy – maybe we’ve even been groped by him in the copy room – he’s a total dick and doesn’t deserve to have an orgasm machine named after him.
  • The design is a weird mix of Jersey Shore meets Golden Girls. There’s skulls. There’s leopard print. There’s lace. Any of these options look like they could be found in the nightstands of Snooki or Blanche (I like the think Rose favours the rose motif like I do. It’s weirdly feminine in a “I’m a 50+ year old from South Florida” so, just my style.) Each Womanizer comes encrusted with a Swarovski crystal – something I never needed or wanted from a vibrator and still don’t.

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Ridiculous name and packaging aside, there’s a lot to love about the Womanizer. First of all, to quote Wayne’s World, “it certainly does suck.” Yes, the Womanizer uses suction – not just vibrations – to get you off. The Womanizer sucks and flutters your clitoris resulting in very quick, very powerful orgasms.

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The Womanizer fits in your hand is made of 100% body safe materials with a silicone head that you can remove & clean after play. Press the crystal button to turn on/off and use the controls below to cycle through the different intensity settings. It’s also rechargeable – always a plus.

Already in it’s second iteration, the Womanizer has developed cult like popularity. Oh Joy Sex Toy’s Erica Moen describes it, as a “tiny clit blowjob machine” and says “it forces your clit to get a raging erection without the usual arousal lead up, it’s the closest I’ve ever empathized with having a spontaneous teenage boner.” (awesome image below via Oh Joy Sex Toy.) 056c026d-1c66-4d42-9fae-a8e96df290c5-1020x8541

And she’s right. This toy feels like nothing else I’ve ever tried. Because of this, it also takes a bit of getting used to. Unlike other clitoral stimulators, you have to place the head so that it surrounds your clitoris. I found this toy worked best for me while I was laying on my back, but you might have to play around a bit until you find exactly the right position (FYI, Elle Chase and Sunny Megatron did an awesome video review where they address this exact issue. It’s a must-watch if you’re considering this toy.)

Once you get used to it though, whoa. This toy delivers.

Even on the lowest setting, this toy is able to make me orgasm in about 30 seconds.

In fact, if you’re looking for a lengthly build up to your orgasm, don’t look to this toy. The Womanizer is more of a wham, bam, thank you ma’am kind of deal – at least it was for me. And boy, is it delightful.

The end verdict: I love the Womanizer. I’ve found myself reaching for it often over the past six months and it’s since become one of my go-to toys. The quality is excellent and it feels fucking fantastic.

However, here’s a few things to consider:

  • If you don’t like a lot of direct clitoral stimulation, this might not be the best toy for you. If you think this might be an issue, I would suggest reading Jo Ellen’s post about her experience with the Womanizer. I personally enjoy direct clitoral stimulation and usually crank my toys to their highest settings, but I actually prefer the Womanizer on it’s lower to mid-range settings. I find the higher settings are just too intense for me.
  • It’s not the quietest of toys. It doesn’t sound like a chainsaw, but it’s also not whisper quiet.

Would I recommend this toy? Definitely. After trying a heck of a lot of toys over the past 6 years, the Womanizer really does offer a unique experience. As long as you like the idea of having your clit directly stimulated, enjoy quick, powerful orgasms & are willing to play around with the positioning of the toy, I think you’ll love this one two.

My first review of 2017: two enthusiastic thumbs up!

Sexy Valentine's Lingerie

Thank you to Lovehoney & Womanizer for providing this toy for review. I received the product free of charge in exchange for my honest opinion. All views are my own because that’s how I roll. 

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