So, does this mean I'm a writer?!
Wed, Jul 14 2010 09:51
I've been a bad blogger lately. I'm still writing a lot...just not for my own blog. One of my goals when I started this blog a year ago was to eventually write for other sites as well. I'm happy that I am branching out however... I miss the blog! I miss you guys!
Here are a few things that I have done in the past 6 weeks:
1. Flown across the country and back, TWICE.
2. Witnessed my cousin get married.
3. Started a new job
4. Read all of Chelsea Handler's books (& kinda have fallen in love with Ms. Handler. Hi Chelsea, its me, Simone & I have a cupboard full of vodka. Wanna be friends?)
Somehow amidst all this chaos I have become a writer. I mean I think I'm a writer now.
Do you officially become a writer when someone pays you to write? Or have I always been a writer and now the only difference is that someone is actually paying me to do this? Or maybe the better question should be: why do I still feel awkward calling myself a writer when clearly that is what I do?
A few weeks ago I received my first cheque for some stories I had written. Even with the cheque in my hand, I still had this moment of disbelief where I said "Someone is actually paying me to do this?!" I guess I kind of feel the same way about writing as I do about being an adult. Even though I'm almost thirty, there are times where I still feel like a kid. Its like I am at the fair & I've managed to trick the Mullet-wearing-Carnie into letting me on the big kid's ride even though I clearly do not meet the height requirements. Does this feeling ever go away?
I've also realized that I don't give myself enough credit.
I look at the glass as half-empty instead of half-full. I let negative voices in my head discount things that I have obviously worked hard for ("Yes, I'm doing what I want to be doing but I'm still not making much money"...."The blog is going well...but its still not where I want it to be"....."Every time I'm filing a document I have to sing the ABCs in my head. What is wrong with me?!"....you get the idea). Its like I'm looking forward so much that I don't see what is happening in the now. For example -that I am actually doing what I wanted to do a year ago.
I look at the glass as half-empty instead of half-full. I let negative voices in my head discount things that I have obviously worked hard for ("Yes, I'm doing what I want to be doing but I'm still not making much money"...."The blog is going well...but its still not where I want it to be"....."Every time I'm filing a document I have to sing the ABCs in my head. What is wrong with me?!"....you get the idea). Its like I'm looking forward so much that I don't see what is happening in the now. For example -that I am actually doing what I wanted to do a year ago.
I don't want to ever get in the habit of having good things happen & not taking the time to really appreciate them. Achievements (however small) still need to be celebrated.
Celebrating means getting Ukelele Misfit to take a dorky photo of me posing with my first writing cheque (taken last week in Little Italy after we pigged out on Gelato)
Because this is me we're talking about- I've already squandered my earnings on shoes. Ralph Lauren patent leather platform sandals. (I don't think I've bought anything by Ralph Lauren since the 90's!) But, these shoes are simple & black & shiny & I fell in love as soon as I saw them.
And, they make me super tall. And, yes - I really am THAT white. And, because I am going to try and ride that "big kid ride" like I actually belong on it, I've decided to save the rest of my writing money for something really, really good.
Does anyone else have the same problem? How do you celebrate success?
