Here’s 10 Guys That I’d Like To Meet

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Hi, it’s me. Still single. Still 35 (at least for another 12 days.) A few weeks ago, authors Blythe Roberson and Jason Adam Katzenstein posted in the New Yorker an illustrated article titled Types of Guys I Would Like To Date, If Someone Could Please Introduce Me to Them. I couldn’t help but giggle. I mean, what 30-something woman hasn’t yearned to date a guy that owns a rug? (“a huge achievement, as rugs cost millions of dollars and require vacuuming“). The piece also made me ponder the kinds of guys I would like to be introduced to.

Because I don’t have the artistic skills of a New Yorker cartoonist, Joe the Intern and his friends have stepped in to help with this post.

So, gather around my friends while I cue up Michael Buble’s “I Still Haven’t Met You Yet” and press the repeat button. Here’s some men I’m interested in getting to know.

Online Dating in Victoria BC: 10 Guys That I'd Like To Meet

40-something Musical Yogis with 20-something rockstar dreams, need not apply. Whether it’s a full time job or a side-hustle, this guy likes making things and he wants to make things with you (websites! music! photos! smoked meat! pickles! A new fence! Stop animation with Joe the Intern!) I know you’re out there. If your idea of a great Saturday is brunch, followed by creating something together, I want to be your Ride and #DIY. (photo credit)

Online Dating in Victoria BC: 10 Guys That I'd Like To Meet

Sure, he mainlines kale juice and eats sandwiches that are made with thinly cut organic tempeh steaks instead of bread, but he doesn’t need to talk about it. He’ll never shame you for not drinking as many vegetables as he does, because he totally gets the concept of balance. I.e. there’s a time for kale chips and a time for diving face first into a stack of chicken and waffles.

Online Dating in Victoria BC: 10 Guys That I'd Like To Meet

When I was in university, it wasn’t uncommon to meet guys who’d say stuff like, “oh, you like 2Pac? I only listen to conscious hip-hop or stuff from the 80’s.” These guys are still around. They read Pitchfork and the only Kendrick Lamar song they think is relevant is the one you’ve never heard of because “it’s so obscure.”  The Guy Who Isn’t Afraid to Shamelessly Rock out to Lil’ Wayne is the opposite of that guy. He’s politically aware and understands why something might be offensive but isn’t opposed to dancing around the living room with you as Weezy chants “a milli a milli a milli.”

Online Dating in Victoria BC: 10 Guys That I'd Like To Meet

The stack of Prince LPs and his turntable are the only church he needs. He thinks “Call My Name” is one of the sexiest, most romantic, panty-dropping songs of all time and to your delight, insists that you go as The Kid and Apollonia for Halloween. When you fidget in your costume, he says, “I don’t care that you’re not an ingenue of indeterminate ethnic origin, you look amazing in that leather bustier.”

Online Dating in Victoria BC: 10 Guys That I'd Like To Meet

No, I’m not talking about one of those greaseballs on Millionaire Matchmaker that owns a yacht. I’m thinking of something more organic, like you meet at a record store in Silverlake and you catch each other’s eye because you’re both wearing the same Prince pin on the lapel of your matching leather jackets. Flash forward to the future where you’re sitting out by your backyard pool perched high in the Elysian Hills, eating tacos and writing dialogue for Joe the Intern.

Online Dating in Victoria BC: 10 Guys That I'd Like To Meet

He’s like Feminist Ryan Gosling, but he’s Idris Elba. He would never use the hashtag #NotAllMen seriously and often says stuff like, “Hey, girl, you’ve worked really hard today. Let me do the dishes while you kick back and photograph your collection of weird Ken Dolls.”  

Online Dating in Victoria BC: 10 Guys That I'd Like To Meet

He’s like Colin Miller meets Jesse Williams. He’s tough, but kind & empathetic, and he’s unafraid to stand up for what he believes in. He’s not the guy who “doesn’t give a fuck,” he’s the guy who gives all the fucks. You catch each other’s eyes across a crowded movie theatre after a documentary about a depressing social issue has just let out. When you walk towards him, you realize he’s wearing a t-shirt that says #FreeEdwardAtes. (photo credit)

“I thought you only existed on the internet” you say to him.

He smiles and replies, “I thought you only existed on the internet.”

You spend lots of time listening to wrongful conviction podcasts together and admiring how he looks good in hats that aren’t fedoras.

Online Dating in Victoria BC: 10 Guys That I'd Like To Meet

Recently I texted my friend, “So, if a man is in his late 30’s and he’s still sleeping on a mattress on the floor, that’s a deal breaker, right?” She responded, “please tell me that’s a rhetorical question.” A few years ago I went on a couple of dates with a smart, very successful 30-something man who kept all of this non-perishable food in a small heap next to his bed (which was also just a mattress on the floor) so he’d never have to get up while watching Netflix to grab snacks. I know there are lots of men out there who have mastered the art of #adulting, but clearly there aren’t enough to go around. If you own a dresser that isn’t covered in stickers and you don’t use a upside down laundry basket as a nightstand, let’s talk.

Online Dating in Victoria BC: 10 Guys That I'd Like To Meet

Here’s a gentleman who is no stranger to having his hand all up inside some green felt. On Sunday mornings you like to create elaborate puppet shows that include lots of original songs and are heavy on  character development (“I mean, Barry the Sloth is basically a decent guy. He only drinks and bites people because he’s misunderstood – and that thing that happened when he was in the circus.”) 

Online Dating in Victoria BC: 10 Guys That I'd Like To Meet

It’s easy to find men who love dogs, but I’d like to meet someone who is crazy about felines just to see what he’d be like. I know he’s out there somewhere, happily whistling away as he meticulously cleans his couch cushions with a dust buster. Call me. 

  • Pawlo Seas

    I love Joe The Intern work. However nothing is more compelling that dapper Idris Elba with awesome specs. (also pecs?) I am just happy my spouse saved me from being one of the bizarro world alternatives to the men you want to meet.

    • skinny_dip

      Thanks! Joe the Intern has serious Idris Elba envy.

  • Fernando real

    FEMINIST…!!! for change the world….it is your courage time…

    THE MAGICAL WORDS …..for CHANGE THE WORLD……2016 – FEMiNiST…YEAR..!!

    YES…..!!!…..I AM FEMINIST…..and what….??

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    only tell the magical words for change the world…….YES…!! I AM ….FEMINIST….!!…sexy mind , sexy spirit and sexy attitude…!!

    write,paint,speak,share,edit,publish,involved your community,spread the word and make poesy with you….

    2016……F….E….M….i….N….i….S….T…..YEAR….!! ….now is the time…you can do it….THE LIFE…..and ….YOU…!! this is the theme

    ….i am……f.e.m.i.n.i.s.t…..!! for ” Change The World ”
    write,speak,share,spread the Word,make your own proposal,involved your work community,spread the Word and make poesy,with this Project…..of The United Nations ( U.N ) & UN WOMEN.
    The Project start on november with the speech below,by President of EE.UU, Barack Obama in New York,UN assembly, like John Kennedy on Berlin….i am…feminist…!! for change the world, women are the key for change,and the POPE Francisco, make the same speech on VATICANE, ROME.., surprising the people over world.
    ..you can change the world too, …be expeditive,be creative,be corageous,be altruist, be you….!!
    Thanks for your interested , and many thanks for your contribution to a bertter world, thanks for your creativity, for your intellegence and for your courage….thanks in my name , in the name of all iinvolved at this absurd, uthopic and fascinant project, thanks in the name of United Nations ( U.N. ) , and many thanks in the name of millions womens,girls and childs arround the world, you are an inspiration and example for us , and for them….
    Wellcome to he biggest net of activist for change the world, and the most global fith columne, the all countries,international institutions, religions institutions, governments administrations, think-tanks, finance world,univeristies, NGOS, foundations, human rights associattions, womens nationals federations, multinationals the all sectors, knowledges centres of each area, and particulars the all sexual, social and policy condition, sex, age, religion confession, ethic, philosophy, ethnic…
    You have a power, and this is well , but is a responsability too, the responsability of export your knowledges, creativity, intelligence, sensibility,empathy and resources at all you can trough an altruist way.
    The United Nations ( U.N. ) & UN WOMEN ; ” Change The World Programme ”
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    you can do it , only make it with passion, emotion,with soul….be expeditive, genuine, original, , dont make it the belive or think, try to translate how you sense, , let your mind free, and make it with tears, with fun, with sense, with horror, with happy…..be you…..and the theme is ” Change World ” or THE LIFE…..AND ……YOU .
    Change world is an attitude, not is laws, not is norms, not is policy, change world is an fall in love sense, not light or cursi sense.and the first is STOP wars, human traffick, ablacttion, rapes, killied womans, girls and childs,prostituion, and all of the MENS make at womens in all cultures, not is policy,culture,race,democrazy,education,…and all mens arround the world are guilty for make it , for silence, and for cowardice, and all we are guiltys, and in the name of all mens , i am sorry at all women i know, and all womens dont know, and now is possible start change world.
    Millions womens , girls and childs arround the world are look you, and are waiting for your courage, be them voice….
    remenber your old bravery….spread the world …and maie poesy…
    Now is the time, the new age is coming, the age of womens sense, the new woman, the iwomen…….now it the time for change this crazy realtion…..smile and fight for the new future…….cowardice not is an option way of life….of sense , of love of work….
    Fernando Real
    id – fernanreal@hotmail.com
    phone mobile – 0034627189681
    blog – http://www.fernanreal.blogspot.com