Take it away Casey!

One of the downsides of staying with my Mom is that I don’t have as much privacy as I did before. This only ever becomes an issue when nice people like my friend Katrina from Ohhh Canada send me cool stuff like new sex toys to try or books about penises to read. Although I’m open about my sex toy collection with the people I date, I’d be mortified if my Mom ever heard any funny noises coming from my bedroom. So, basically I have to wait until I am alone in the house to try anything. I feel like I’m part of married couple that has to wait to have sex until after the kids go to bed except there are no kids and I’m basically just having sex with myself. Welcome to my life!

A few weeks ago Katrina of sent me the Bath Kitten by Booty Parlor Gift Set.  I’ve been dying to give it a whirl but due to lack of “alone time” it’s been sitting on my desk, taunting me in it’s pretty pink box for a few weeks now. Earlier this week I FINALLY had some time to myself where I could indulge in a nice long bath & take the Bath Kitten set for a spin.

I’ve been a fan of Booty Parlor’s cheeky and cutely packaged products ever since Katrina introduced me to their Kissaholic Aphrodisiac Plumping Lip gloss (which has since become a favorite of mine) so I was excited to see what their Bath Kitten Gift Set had in store.

This cute little package comes with one “Purring Massage Mitt” and a bottle of “Naughty Bubbles Bath Milk” designed to help you transform your  bath time into a sexy, luxurious spa experience.

The Purring Massage Mitt is made of ultra soft terry cloth that helps slough away dead skin, while the tiny vibrator located inside sends pleasurable vibrations all over. The Naughty Bubbles Bath Milk is a decadent dessert inspired treat that smells like white chocolate & honey (yum!) and contains natural skin conditioning ingredients. Active ingredients in bath milk include kukui nut oil (moisturizer), macadamia nut oil (skin restorative), silk and milk proteins (improves elasticity) and vitamin E (antioxidant).

Soft skin AND a little bath time fun?! I like the sounds of that!

Unlike many things in life, the Massage Mitt comes with batteries! This means you don’t have to make any awkward runs to the convenience store before you partake in some “me time.”

The small vibrator that acts as the “purring” mechanism in the Massage Mitt is fully waterproof. This means you can just sit back, close your eyes and enjoy the experience…..which is exactly what I did!

First of all, I must mention that the Naughty Bubbles smell good enough to eat. As soon as I poured them into the bath the whole room was filled with a subtle vanilla-meets-white -chocolate fragrance. It was quite lovely!

Once my bath water was running, I turned on the little “purring” bullet vibrator and inserted into the side opening of the Massage Mitt. Once inside the Massage Mitt, the vibrations are very subtle. Running the Massage Mitt over your skin definitely feels good but the vibrations probably aren’t strong enough to get you off  - at least they weren’t for me (Yes, I checked.) They feel good in a “wow, this foot bath feels good!” kind of way, NOT in a “This feels so good I’m going to have an explosive orgasm” kind of way. With that said, the subtle vibrations definitely were a relaxing and definitely got me in the mood for something more.

My only complaint about the Massage Mitt is that I found it difficult to turn the vibrations on and off. In theory you’re supposed to be able to do this without removing the vibrator from the mitt however, I found I had to reach in and fully remove the vibe in order to turn it on or off. This is the only detail that makes the Massage Mitt slightly awkward to use.

Being the curious bath kitten that I am, I couldn’t resist removing the bullet vibrator from inside the Massage Mitt and having some post bath time playtime with it. On it’s own, that little vibe is actually quite powerful and perfect for a bath time quickie. The Massage Mitt also works well on it’s own to exfoliate in the shower.

With wedding season upon us, I would definitely think about giving this as a fun bridal shower gift. It’s chic and tastefully sexy. If you’re more conservative you get a cute bath gift set & some relaxing massage action or, if you’re a bit more of a frisky kitten (like me) you also get a mini vibrator to play around in or out of the tub all for the reasonable price of $39.99.

I would recommend this product to:

-Anyone who is looking for a cute gift & loves clever packaging.

-Someone who is curious about vibrators but wants to start by dipping their toes in the shallow end with a product that’s super non-threatening.

My last piece of advice would be this: After you’re finished playing with the Bath Kitten Massage Mitt, REMOVE THE BATTERIES. After using the Bath Kitten Set, I cleaned everything off & put it back in it’s original box, which I then placed on my dresser. A few hours later I walked by my dresser and the whole box started shaking and vibrating. Fearing that it might be possessed, I did what anyone would do, I removed it from it’s box and stuck it deep into the back of my lingerie drawer. Everything was fine until I went in to grab a bra the next day, and heard a loud buzzing sound. I guess we’re to assume that the little vibe is either one very sensitive (& powerful) little piece of machinery or I’m like the Dr. Doolittle of sex toys – they just like to talk to me (and the people around me) whenever they get the chance. Either is a very real possibility.

Blogger. Bath Kitten. Sex Toy Whisperer.

I like the sounds of that.

What are some of your favorite bath products?

Remember that time Nicole Simone and I filmed an episode of a reality TV show for HGTV? Well, it finally aired in Canada and now I can share the link to the video with you guys!  (It actually aired in the States a few months ago and I only found out when a few American friends tweeted me “You’re on TV!”… which was slightly disconcerting to say the least)

Without further ado, here you go!

Click HERE or on our lovely faces to watch the episode.

Two Simones. One reality TV show. It totally happened.

(Unfortunately the video might only play if you’re in Canada. US and international viewers may have to go to the American HGTV website to watch it)

To further enhance your viewing pleasure I’ve come up with a “For Rent” drinking game you can play while watching the show:

- Take one shot every time I nod awkwardly at something Nicole says.

-Take two shots any time anyone says “I love that sink!”

-Whoever is still able to say “Over-mount sink in a compact condo bathroom” at the end of the game wins.

I know it’s not as good as my Jersey Shore Drinking Game but I tried.

Cheers!

PS. Thanks for bearing with me during my sporadic posting over the past few weeks. I’ve been working like a mad woman to make sure I’m all caught up on work before going to VEGAS next week, while simultaneously trying NOT to jump out of my pants with excitement because  OMG, I’M GOING TO VEGAS NEXT WEEK. I can’t wait for Bloggers in Sin City and all the stories I’m sure I’ll bring back for you guys.

xox

Last year when I was in Vegas, my room-mate Carly and I were discussing the differences between shopping in Canada and shopping in the United States. I mentioned to her that a few years ago, Canada finally got our first Victoria’s Secret stores. I remember her response was something like:

“What?! You mean you didn’t have Victoria’s Secret before?! HOW DID YOU LIVE?!”

Good question. Although I love to support Canadian retailers, nothing compares to the sweet guilty pleasure that comes from hearing that one of your favorite American brands is setting up shop. I know I’m not the only one who is not-so-patiently awaiting the opening of Target in Canada in 2013. Whenever I visit friends in the States, I’m always like “Um, can you just drop me off at a Target for a few hours so I can touch all the pretty bright colors & spend way too much money?!” 2013, we’re almost there!!!

(FYI American friends, we don’t have Target in Canada yet however, we DO have Marshalls and Chipotle….at least in Toronto.)

Giant Scissors: what happens when American brands come to Canada.

So where do Canadians buy underwear? As I explained to Carly, we have our places. There’s a national chain called La Senza which is kind of like a poor man’s Victoria’s Secret. It was recently purchased by Victoria’s Secret (so technically it’s no longer Canadian) and carries similar kinds of products at lower prices. We also have department stores that sell lingerie, specialty shops and the coveted Agent Provocateur (but only in Vancouver*)

*I’ve realized that part of being Canadian involves keeping a running tally of which American Brands we have, which are coming and which Canadian brands are coming to the States, which always sounds a bit like this: “We have J Crew now but only in Toronto not Edmonton. Did you hear Pink Berry is coming here? I think it’s just a myth. Good news! They just opened an Aritzia in New York City. Also I know there’s a Tim Hortons in Ohio because so-and-so saw it while they were on a road-trip” We  are also fiercely proud of our Canadian celebrities and like to point out their Canadianness whenever possible  Ie. “Did you know Madonna’s Mom is part French Canadian?”

Anyways, I’ve been a loyal La Senza shopper for years. The store’s not amazing but they carry some cute stuff. I always figured it was pretty much the same as Victoria’s Secret – until I shopped there for the first time while I was in Toronto last month.

Two things that impressed me about my first Victoria’s Secret experience:

Helpful service & tons of pretty bras that actually fit me!

First of all, one of the girls measured me for my correct bra size (I thought this would involve flashing my boobs to a complete stranger however she was able to do it over my fitted tank top). I highly recommend getting properly measured for a bra. I discovered that I have actually been wearing the wrong bra size for most of my adult life (!)

The amount of bras VS carries is overwhelming so the girls there put together a “bra box” for me which included one of every style in basic black. I usually have the worst time finding bras so I was surprised at how many of the styles were not only flattering but also super comfortable and supportive!

After much deliberation & texting of creepy photos of the different bras to my BFF Ange (who eventually came and met me at the change rooms to help me make my final decision) I settled on three different styles that fit me perfectly:

 The Dream Angels Demi:

 The Body by Victoria Multi-Way:

& The Unforgettable Demi Bra:

 After I finished shopping, the sales girl wrote down the styles on a cute little card so I’d remember for next time.

One pink bag and way too much money later, I went home with a bunch of new bras that I love. My boobs are very happy and it’s safe to say that I am a Victoria’s Secret convert….so much so that I may have just ordered THIS to take to Vegas:

I think this could be the start of a new addiction. 

*By the way, Victoria’s Secret did not ask me to write this. I just thought I would share my experience because it was a positive one and it might be helpful to other women who have never been measured for a bra – it seriously makes the world of difference!

What are your lingerie shopping tips?

Are there things you feel like you should like but you just don’t?

Everyday I feel like I’m bombarded by things I feel like the universe really, really, wants me to like but I know in my heart that it will never happen. It’s like the universe is saying “Yay!” while I’m here saying “No freaking way!” Sometimes it actually stresses me out and I wonder, does not liking these things mean there is something wrong with me?

In an effort to get to know each other better, I thought I’d share my “Nay not Yay” list with you guys.

1. Team sports that involve balls (literally, not figuratively). So in other words, most sports. I have nothing against sports in the general sense, I’m just terrible at most of them. I used to run on the track team however give me a ball, a bat, a stick, a puck or an activity requiring any degree of hand-eye coordination and it’s basically a recipe for disaster. Wind sprints? Hurdles? Long-jump? Yes. Volleyball? Mini Golf? Hell no. Did I mention I throw like a girl? Because I do.

It’s funny, we’re told from a young age “Team Sports are fun! Go Team!” but I’ve never enjoyed them. I still have nightmares of being the smallest, scrawniest kid in gym class who somehow always managed to be the last one left on the Dodgeball court – a scene that usually ended with a kid twice my size whipping a ball at my face as my classmates eagerly cheered him on. To say I like sports would be to say I enjoy personal humiliation. Even I’m not that twisted.

I thought I’d be able to escape sports as an adult but it seems like I’m still expected to like them. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been at a job interview and sat across from some greying, 40-year old beer bellied guy in a suit as he asks me “So, do you play any sports?” This is such a loaded question – if you say you do they might actually make you play said sport (AHHH!) and if you say you don’t, they’ll assume you’re “not a team player”. (Never mind the fact that I could probably easily out run the guy in a  200 meter hurdle race). FYI Universe, the reason I don’t like sports isn’t because I’m an anti-social weirdo incapable of working with others, it’s because I’m legitimately horrible at them.

Sports, it's not you. It's me.

2. House parties. I feel like I’m supposed to like house parties but I just don’t. I grew up thinking that all house parties would be like a Kid & Play movie – full of crazy shenanigans, hilarious hijinx and lots of people doing The Running Man. Alas, from my experience most house parties involve bad music, a ubiquitous dilapitated plaid couch, lack of bathroom access and a guy named Larry (seated on said couch) who keeps asking you if you want to go smoke a Doobie. Also, what’s with people having house parties in really isolated locations that are not easily accessible by public transit? I don’t care who’s going to be there, I’m not coming to your house party in Vaughan or Ajax or Sarnia. How am I suppossed to escape when things go South and Larry asks me if he can give me a shoulder rub?

Kid and Play lied to me.

3. Corporate team building events: Does anyone like Corporate Team building events? I’m honestly curious because I’ve never been to one that wasn’t torturous. I already spend 8 hours a day in an office with you, we don’t need to go curling or go-karting together and standing around in a circle doing “trust falls” isn’t going to make me like you more. My old company used to be all about the corporate team building events. They even planned a “weekend retreat” where they whisked our whole office away to a isolated cabin in the woods where we spent the whole weekend “partying”, playing charades and participating in mandatory beach volleyball. In other words it was all of my worst nightmares combined into one. It was like the corporate team building version of The Shining, only with less bloodshed and more sharing circles. Yep, corporate team building events make Skinny Dip something…something.

A few years I asked my friend Ange:

“Am I a jerk for hating these kinds of things?”

Her response: “No, you’re not a jerk. You just have a low tolerance for bullshit”

Awesome. I’ll take it!

4. Video games: This all comes back to the hand eye coordination thing. Being the perfectionist that I am, I only like to do things I’m good at. I’ve never been good not good at video games*, online gaming or even card games. I’m probably missing out on hours of fun but something about gaming just never clicked for me.

*However, in 1988 I was known for playing a really mean game of Duck Hunt.

5. Period Pieces: If a story-line doesn’t take place after 1920 there’s a good chance I’m not going to be interested. I don’t know what it is about horse drawn carriages, crinolines, top hats & the like but they totally give me the heebie jeebies. Same with Renaissance fairs, antique stores and anything Medieval. I can’t explain it –  I love visiting historical places, however fictional stories about them usually make me cringe. This is why I’ll probably never watch Games of Thrones, the Tudors or take in a game of jousting at Medieval Times (shudder).

You're gorgeous but I still don't like you.

6. Book Clubs: It seems like everyone is part of a book club these days. Just don’t ask me to join one. I love to read but I hate having restrictions or boundaries put on my reading material. I like to read purely for my own pleasure and that means being able to read Brett Easton Ellis one day and Eric Jerome Dickey the next without having to ever explain my schizophrenic taste in literature to anyone.

What? Don't hate.

7. Matching T-Shirts. My dislike for matching T-Shirts probably stems from the fact that they are usually associated with other things that freak me out like sports uniforms and team building events. Plus, they are almost always ill-fitting thus making me look like I have the body of a twelve year old boy. Unfortunately, matching T-shirts seem to be an unavoidable part of life… but are they ever a good idea?

CASE...

and POINT.

8. WIZARDS:  Take my dislike for period pieces and multiply it by 100 and you get my phobia of Wizards. Maybe it’s the excessive beard length or the pointy hats but there’s something I find decidedly creepy about Wizards. It’s not that they scare me, it’s that they legitimately gross me out. I mean, what are you trying to hide under that star spangled robe?! I don’t trust you or your magic buddy! However, between all the LOTR and Harry Potter madness over this past decade, I feel like the universe is forcing me to confront my fear of wizards whether I like it or not. I saw the last Harry Potter movie recently and texted my friend:

“I’m about to watch Harry Potter for the first time”

Her reply: “Oh my god Simone. Are you going to be OK?”

The wizard thing is bad. Really bad.

Welcome to my nightmares.

I used to beat myself up for my dislikes and see them somehow as shortcomings. I’d often wonder what my life would be like if I was the kind of person who could play volleyball without embarrassing themselves, who would willingly join book clubs, and could watch the movie Braveheart without simultaneously wanting to wretch & pull their hair out, however if I was that person then I wouldn’t be me. There’s lots of stuff that I love that other people hate like the Muppets, Fish Burgers and Hip Hop with questionable lyrics. Part of growing older is developing an unwavering confidence that you are who you are.

A psychic once told me that in the after-life, if you’re a good person you get to be surrounded by all the things you love, whereas if you are a bad person you are subjected to everything you hated in life. If this is true, I’m sure my own private hell would consist of a giant gym class, taught by a legion of whistle blowing Wizards who would subject us endless Volleyball games while the movie Sense and Sensibility plays on repeat in the background. Of course, we’d all be wearing matching T-shirts. If that’s not motivation to be a good person, I don’t know what is.

What’s on your “things I should love but don’t” list?

The other day I was downtown shopping, taking my new pair of mint colored J-Brand jeans for a test drive, when I looked at my phone and noticed there was a missed call from Handsome Guy  (we’ve been speaking regularly ever since I got back to BC). When I called him later that evening he said:

“I have a funny story for you Simone”

As you may remember, when Handsome Guy and I arrived at the airport so I could catch my flight to BC, we discovered that my two suitcases were massively overweight. We had to remove a bunch of stuff just so that I’d be able to check my bags. Being the stand-up kind of guy that he is, Handsome Guy agreed to take everything home, pack it all up and ship it out to me so that I wouldn’t be without “daily essentials” like my summer wedge sandals, my Veronica Mars DVD box sets and my favorite sex toys (including my rabbit vibrator, the Fonz & the Sienna Symphony - my favorite  G-spot vibrators and the infamous Lelo Ella aka “Super Dildo”)  It’s clear that even though we are still getting to know each other, this guy knows me well. 

Here’s the story as Handsome Guy explained it to me:

The other day when he was getting ready to leave the house & drop my things off to be shipped, he heard his phone vibrate. However, when he put down the box to check his phone he realized that the vibrations weren’t coming from his pocket, they were coming from the box. ”That’s weird” he thought. He picked up the box and that’s when he felt the vibration again. What the hell? Was it possible that he had dropped his phone inside the box when he was packing it and now someone was trying to get in touch with him?! In a panic, Handsome Guy opened the box and began to tear the contents apart in search of whatever was making the noise.

At this point in the story I started to giggle uncontrollably.

“Oh, god! It was my adult toys right?!”

As it turns out, several of my favorite vibrators had decided to all start vibrating their little hearts out as some kind of weird send-off to Toronto.

“I’m sorry about that. That box basically contained a mini sex shop. However, I swore I removed all the batteries before I packed them away”

“I guess you didn’t because those things were definitely active. Don’t worry – I eventually managed to “deactivate” everything & turn them off”

“Oh crap. My Lelo Mona vibrator is in there. It doesn’t run on batteries. It’s like a cell phone and has it’s own charger. With a full charge that thing can vibrate for 4 hours or something. It’s crazy.”

“Wow, so basically it will be vibrating all the way to Winnipeg”

“Pretty much. That thing is nuts. I love my Lelo Mona”

“Well, you don’t have to worry. Your lovely vibrating box is packed tight and is coming soon”

“Wow. That really doesn’t sound good”

“Nope. It really doesn’t”

“I think I need to blog about this”

***

LESSON TO BE LEARNED:  Ladies, always remember to remove the batteries from your sex toys (or let them charge down to zero) before you attempt to travel or have your new love interest send them cross country. Otherwise, you risk receiving a note like this from a TSA agent:

Vibrating suitcase = pervy note. I was not the recipient of this note however, I kind of wish I was just so I could take credit for story.

 HAPPY WEEKEND! xox

This post was sponsored by EdenFantasys. I received a gift certificate to help fund my on-going addiction to luxury vibrators in exchange for this post. All opinions and awkward situations are my own. 

…or in my case, doesn’t happen any more!

Now that I don’t live in my Toronto apartment, it no longer feels creepy to show you guys some photos of my bedroom.

After the break-up in the fall, I moved into my friend Lindsay’s little purple spare bedroom. During a time when everything felt topsy turvy, I got blessed with the best roomie a girl could ask for (Lindsay!) and this cute little space to call my own. I never thought I’d enjoy having purple walls but they grew on me, as did the space. I’m kind of an interior design nut so I was really looking forward to decorating the space and making it my own. I bought a storage bed that I loved, a new mattress & duvet set, throw pillows and the softest 400 thread count sheets I could find. My little room was well on it’s way to becoming the perfect little oasis for a single girl in the city.

But, as the theme is with my life these days, things don’t always go as planned. I went to BC for what I thought would be a few weeks but instead decided to give up my apartment in Toronto and stay here longer. While I was in Toronto a few weeks ago I had so much fun staying at my apartment and hanging out with my room-mate (who really is the best room-mate ever) however, it was also bittersweet. I had big plans for that little room & the life I’d live there. Even though I’m onto new adventures, it was still a bit sad saying goodbye.

I seem to have this pattern in my life: I move into an apartment, I get obsessed with decorating it but only finish 80-90% of it before something happens and I have to move out. Very rarely do I ever feel like my space is “finished”. However, instead of dwelling on my shortcomings as an amateur interior decorator, I thought it would be fun to share some photos of my bedroom and some of the things I was planning on adding to it.

{The Bed}

 For my bed I chose the OPPDAL storage bed from Ikea  with drawers underneath to maximize storage space. Moving from a large 2 bedroom apartment into a room that was barely large enough for a dresser, made getting a storage bed a necessity. I’m a huge fan of storage beds! They’re great for small spaces and I love that it means I don’t have to vacuum under the bed!

I bought the matching headboard however, didn’t have time to assemble it before I left for Christmas. I love that it has extra storage space.

Perfect for holding all my bedside reading material & favorite magazines!

{Colorful shelves}

I adore colorful bookshelves. Even though my space was small (as you can tell by the distance from the bed to the bookshelf!) I needed shelving. I’m both sentimental and a bookworm. I feel best when I’m surrounded by my favorite momentos and books….the more colorful the better!

{Close-ups of some of my favorite things}

Jonathan Adler Pottery, Vintage Snoopy (my grandpa got him in the 1950′s and it got passed down to me when he passed away) & a book on Dim Sum.

{Art work and small details}

(via Made by Girl)

As you can see  by the first photo, the wall space above the bed looks extremely naked. I was planning on having a head board and putting some artwork. I’m totally obsessed with the blog Made by Girl and the author Jen Ramos‘ prints. I’ve had my eye on her Love print for some time and though it would look nice over the bed.

{Other contenders for art-work}

 

and this one for obvious reasons…

(also via Made by Girl)

{Bedside romance}

{The Vision}

(via Made by Girl)

If I’d ended up staying in my apartment, the idea was to eventually lighten up the walls and create an intimate space like the one above that was cozy and feminine with just enough quirky edge.

Although I’m a bit sad I never got to fully decorate my space, the upside is that I now have tons of ideas (all documented on Pintrest!) for when me & all my shoes eventually do find a permanent home.

{The favorites L-R: Nine West, Franco Sarto, Aldo, Ralph Lauren, Aerosoles, Pegabo, Ferragamo}

For more home decor musings, follow me on Pinterest! 

What kind of bedroom decor are you into? Any tips for decorating in a small space?

(Alternate title for this post: That time I made a movie that wasn’t  porn.)

Happy Weekend Skinny Dippers!

Boy, do I have a treat for you guys today. (Actually, you might not think its that cool but I do, so just indulge me for a few minutes!)

Remember that time I mentioned that I was in some student films in university and that I am distantly connected to Kevin Bacon? Yes, that. Way back in the early 2000′s when I was a freshman in college, I had a few small parts in some short films made by my friend Ryan. One of these films was a parody of SATC called “Sex and the University“. I saw Ryan a few weekends ago at my going away shindig in Toronto. While catching up over drinks, we both agreed that always feel compelled to provide the disclaimer “ITS NOT PORN” whenever we mention Sex and the University. It’s kind of become our little joke.

Thanks to Ryan who recently posted the film on Youtube, I can now prove that I had a very small part in a non-pornographic film called Sex and the University. I’ve posted it below so you can check it out. I’m only seen on camera for a few seconds around the 1:30 minute mark (blink and you might actually miss me!) but I’m there, in all my early 20-something glory giving the elevator eyes to the male lead as he passes me on the sidewalk.

Turn up your volume (the sound quality ain’t good) and please be kind because:

1) This was made in 2001 – Before things like HD, camera phones, flip cams and iMovie – by a bunch of 19 and 20 year olds.

2) I was going through a “shopping exclusively at the GAP” phase where I basically lived in capri pants and polar fleece jackets. IT WAS THE EARLY 2000′s.

(Parts 2 & 3 are available on Youtube)

Maybe you’re wondering why I even bothered posting this. The answer: selfish, nostalgic reasons. I haven’t seen the film in almost 12 years and seeing it now as a 31 year old brought back so many memories. The lush green campus of my alma mater! The dorm rooms! Early 2000′s men’s fashion!  That campus is seems so familiar now, however seeing it on film reminded me of how I saw it back then: with fresh eyes. I spend a lot of time reflecting on what I wish I could tell my 20-year old self….so, actually seeing her on camera for the first time in a decade was a little bit freaky.

I also shared the video hoping that it will encourage Ryan to post scenes from his other film “Porno Loving Freaks” (also NOT porn). I actually have a speaking role and a scene where I dance on top of a table in a bar before seducing an awkward virgin. In other words, re-enacting a typical weekend for me back then.

What are some of your favorite memories from college/university?

The internet is a wonderful place. As soon as I announced that I was looking for a company to help me make Skinny Dip Condoms, my inbox and Twitter were flooded with tips and recommendations. It wasn’t long before I was put in touch with the awesome people over at Lucky Bloke who kindly agreed to provide oodles of condoms for my sassy DIY project.

I’m really excited to be working with Lucky Bloke because I love what they are about: safe sex & doing good in the world. Their staff  are super sweet and came up with the perfect condom for Skinny Dip:

The Strawberry Glyde Ultra. 

(flavored with natural and organic fruit & nut extracts)

Yep, that’s right. Skinny Dip condoms will not only be pink, they’ll also taste and smell like Strawberries.

I could have asked for anything more perfect for my blog! I can’t wait to hand these out at #BiSC in May.

{FYI. When I spoke to Melissa from Lucky Bloke, she said you can actually smell the condoms through their wrappers….and she was right!  My home office smells pleasantly like a strawberry patch.}

The Strawberry Glyde Ultra is just one of the many varieties that Lucky Bloke carries. Lucky Bloke offers discreet, affordable international delivery of top-selling condoms and lubricants. It’s the ultimate condom subscription service! Remember back in the day when everyone joined the Columbia House Record Club and you’d get CDs sent to your house every month? Well, it’s sort of like that but way sexier. Instead of getting stuck with a bunch of Celine Dion and Bryan Adams albums you never wanted in the first place, Lucky Bloke lets you customize your order so that you only get the condoms and lube you want. They also ship everything in a discreet envelope so you never have to explain your purchase (unlike that time you tried to secretly order that NSYNC box set and everyone found out.) They also do individual orders if commitment isn’t your thing.

The best part about Lucky Bloke (besides the awesome selection of premium condoms & lube): they donate 10% of every sale to the Charity of your choice. Current choices include Clean Water, UNICEF and It Gets Better Project. It’s a win/win: have sex and save the world at the same time.

Lucky Bloke was sweet enough to also send a sampler package of condoms & lube just for me!

I’m particularly excited to try the Kimono Micro-Thin and the Night Light condom (which I have reason to believe is glow in the dark!) What’s also great – if I like any of these, I don’t have to worry about tracking them down at a specialty store. I can just order them through Lucky Bloke.

Now here’s the really good part:

Do you want access to your own free stash of top of the line condoms?!!

Lucky Bloke is looking for a few good men, and women to become official condom reviewers!

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Thank you to Lucky Bloke for making my condom dreams come true!

Between The Banker, the creepy single Dads that hit on me in Walmart and these dudes, it seems like all you ever get to read about on Skinny Dip is men behaving badly. I think it’s high time I told you a good story about dating (one that doesn’t end with me having to change my phone number). So here it is:

While I was in Toronto, I went on a date and it was awesome.

(CORRECTION: I actually went on three dates (with the same person) and they were all pretty fantastic.)

I met “Handsome Guy” about 2 years ago through mutual friends. We got along easily and had instant chemistry. The kind of chemistry that other people in the room can sense because it crackles in the air like electricity. Precisely the kind of chemistry you ignore when you’re already in a serious relationship with someone else. Handsome Guy got relegated into the “The Distant Facebook Friend Zone” – an obscure dimension Handsome Guys often get exiled to when girls already have boyfriends. Since I’ve been single I’ve allowed myself to indulge in a bit of a crush on Handsome Guy. After all, he’s charming, handsome and wears nice glasses. Let me just say, Handsome Guy has serious Clark Kent appeal.

Although I’ve been telling myself for months that I’m not ready to date anyone, when Handsome Guy asked me if I’d like to go to an art show with him while I was Toronto, I said yes.

A few days later we met for a drink. When I sat down, one of the first things I blurted out was:

“I’M LEAVING THE CITY IN 5 DAYS”

To which he replied, “Alright, I guess we’ll have to enjoy the time we have!”

When we got to the art show we had planned on attending, we discovered that it wasn’t a gallery exhibit, it was an adult “make your own art” event complete with a DJ and a make-shift bar.

We sat across from each other making paintings and sharing things about our lives. There were no awkward pauses in the conversation. Even when it came to our attention that my “South West inspired” drawing of a cactus really just looked like a giant penis, Handsome Guy gently teased me and I made a joke that unconscious phallic drawings are an occupational hazard of being a sex blogger.

(Although, I’m kind of concerned that my date persona as a 30-something is the female version of that kid from Superbad)

The event was in a chic loft space downtown. When we’d finished creating our masterpieces (I’d filled my canvas with lighting bolts and hearts, he’d managed to cleverly turn my penis/cactus drawing into a guitar which still kind of looked like a penis) we stepped out onto the loft’s fire-escape to get some air. The wrought iron railing of the fire escape was decorated with white Christmas lights and the downtown Toronto skyline shimmered in the background. This is when Handsome Guy kissed me.

It was one of those perfect romantic moments.

We ended the night as all great nights out in Toronto should end: by sharing late-night eats at a 24 hour Pho place in Chinatown.

He pulled out chairs, opened doors, helped me with my coat and after we finished eating, walked me to my subway stop the way a gentleman should.

When I got home I squeeled excitedly to my roommate:

“I went on a date with a hot guy…and it wasn’t horrible! In fact, he was the perfect gentleman!”

Date #2 included more of my favorite things: an oversized leisurely brunch, tacos, more kisses and a long walk through the Annex.  I dragged Handsome Guy into my favorite used bookstore (that I can never leave empty handed) and he kindly carried my purchases all the way back to my friend’s place in Kensington Market.

Date #3 was bittersweet and involved Handsome Guy driving me to the airport to catch my flight home. Everything was going great until we arrived at the airport, checked my bags and were told that they were massively overweight. The Air Canada agent told us that we needed to re-pack the bags and/or remove items or they wouldn’t be able to accept them.

I was grateful when Handsome Guy volunteered to help with the re-packing however, I knew that once I unzipped those suitcases he’d be privy to all my secrets. I looked at him and said:

“In about 2 seconds you’re going to get to know me a lot better. Are you ready for that?”

I unzipped the suitcases and suddenly it was like the contents of my life had barfed all over Pearson International Airport. Everything was on display and I mean EVERYTHING.

The Sock Monkeys. The Muppet Paraphernalia. The plastic guitar. More underwear and shoes than any one person requires. So. Many. Sex Toys.

Oddly enough, he didn’t seem phased by any of it.

We worked quickly and got my suitcases down to an acceptable weight. When I flung the largest suitcase back on the scale for what was hopefully the final weigh-in, the agent said to me:

“Looks like you’re good to go. I knew you guys could do it!”

Me: “Would you believe this is our third date?!”

Her: “You guys seem really good together”

I looked at Handsome Guy smiling back at me as he loaded my Prada tote bag overflowing with shoes and a big bag of vibrators back onto the luggage cart (to be shipped to me at a later date) and said:

“Yes, yes we do”

When Handsome Guy and I said goodbye at the gate I told him:

“Thank you for restoring my faith that there are good people out there”

To which he replied, “Thank YOU for restoring my faith”

A few days after I arrived home in BC, I finally decided to crack open the book I had purchased to read on the airplane and out fell an envelope. It was a card from Handsome Guy wishing me a safe trip home & letting me know how much he had enjoyed the time we spent together. He must have slipped it in my bag sometime between arriving at the airport and kissing me goodbye. I smile every time I see the card sitting on my dresser.

Ever since the break-up my heart and sexuality have been on lock-down. I’ve been telling myself that I’m just not ready to get close to anyone (and for a long time this was true). However, before I went to Toronto I had recently graduated to saying “Maybe in 6 months I’ll be ready for a fling but not before then” I saw dating as something I’d do in the distant future however, things don’t always go as planned. Even though I’ve been telling myself that I am not ready for anything, I was so, so ready for this. I was ready to feel sexy again. I was ready to enjoy spending time with someone who enjoys spending time with me. Now that I’m back on the other side of the country I don’t know what the future holds for Handsome Guy and I, but I’m really grateful for the time we’ve been able to spend together.

I was ready to get my groove back.

This is all to say…

Women: Even though this blog often suggests otherwise, there are good guys out there – guys who are sexy AND thoughtful and who’ll hold doors open for you (if you are into that kind of thing… which I am)

Men: Take note, this is how it’s done.

So, now that I sort of feel like I’m back in the blogging groove, what did I miss? What’s new with you guys?! Tell me something good!