It’s been such a busy few weeks. So busy in fact that I have barely had a chance to mention that this week I’ll be attending my third Bloggers in Sin City un-conference (!!!!!) As you read this, I’m probably somewhere between Sleepy Town and Sin City (most likely camped out somewhere in LAX with my lap-top desperately trying to catch up on last minute work.) I’ve been working a lot of long, 10-12 hour days lately so this trip comes as a much needed vacation. I can’t wait to see my people, soak up the sun & create lots of new memories.

Luckily, while I’m gone for the week I have Joe the Intern looking after the daily operations of Skinny Dip. I trust he’ll do a good job. I only gave him one rule: no more gory battle stories while I’m out of office. I’ll be back to regular scheduled blogging as soon as I’ve recovered from my Vegas hangover which should be sometime after the 21st.

Have a good week lovelies! And, for those of you I’ll be seeing at #BiSC – see you soon!

xox

S.

I can think of very few things that I enjoy more at the end of a long day than coming home to pretty lingerie that’s been sent to me in the mail. My underwear drawer is pretty full these days, but I never, ever, tire of a new pair of pretty panties.

Meet Panty by Post  - a monthly subscription service for luxury panties. Every month Panty by Post sends you a new, gorgeous pair of panties based on your personal preferences  (you can choose thong, boys-cut or the bridal collection). When I first heard about Panty by Post, my thoughts were “Yay! A subscription service for people like me who love receiving pretty, lacy things in the mail!” So, when Panty by Post offered to send me a pair of their panties to sample, I was pretty excited!

Panty By Post started in Paris in August 2008 and is based in Vancouver, Canada (yay for Canadian companies!) Owner and founder Natalie Grunberg has always been inspired by Paris and it’s no surprise she’s built a company that has distinguished itself as a unique brand with a very French twist. She’s since made it her company’s mission to spread the pleasure of French lingerie all over the world. Each gorgeous Panty by Post package is meant to send a message of love and joie de vie!

Looking at Panty by Post’s gallery of photos, there’s a definite luxurious vibe (with just a hint of French flair!) to everything they carry. Featuring brands like Blush Lingerie and Hanky Panky, these are definitely not your run of the mill panties. Anyone who has ever worn a pair of Hanky Panky panties (which feel almost like you’re wearing nothing at all) can attest to that.  FYI, one of my best friends swears by their stretch lace thongs.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Blush Lingerie, it’s another fantastic Canadian company based in Montreal, Quebec. I adore their lingerie because it suits my style perfectly: it’s comfortable, a little bit retro and sexy without being over-the-top. To get an idea of what you can expect from their panties, here are a few images I pulled from the Panty by Post gallery.

(I’m totally obsessed with the black and white polka dot pair!)

I was delighted when I opened my Panty by Post package and found these beautiful violet hued satin panties with black lace trim.

Made of super soft stretch satin, the panties feature delicate stretchy black lace trim along the front and back, with a subtle black bow detail on the front.

To be honest, these are some of the nicest panties I have ever owned. Not only are they gorgeous, the quality is excellent and they feel luxurious as soon as you slip them on. I thought because of the cut in the back that these would be wedgie central, but you actually don’t really feel any of the seams when you have them on. Sexy and comfortable? I call that a Win/Win! The only downside (for my wallet) is that now I’m intent on tracking down the matching bra

I should also mention that the panties arrived beautifully packaged. They were shipped in a Panty by Post envelope printed with a delicate floral design and sealed with a silver sticker. Inside the panties were wrapped in gorgeous tissue with a cream and gold angel print. Along with the panties was a personal note from Panty by Post. The package was so beautiful I couldn’t bring myself to recycle it, so I kept it because I’m a nerd like that.

Panty by Post offers a variety of different subscription options which range from $15-$25/month. You can also purchase one or two panties a la carte. When I told my best friend about the service her reaction was probably the same as many of you are having: “That’s a lot for a pair of panties! Wouldn’t it just be easier to go to the store and buy a pair?!” Yes, in theory it would be, and I realize $15+ for a pair of underwear is on the expensive side for a lot of people (me included). However, part of what you’re paying for is the shipping and the element of surprise. It’s definitely an indulgent purchase, however when it comes to subscription services I’d much rather get one luxury item that I’m going to *love* adding to my collection, versus a whole box of small sized sample products, some of which I may not use. When you look at it that way,  Panty by Post is a nice way to pamper yourself.

I’d recommend Panty by Post to anyone who is looking to build a collection of high quality lingerie or as a bridal shower gift for one of your best friends.

Have you ever tried any lingerie subscription services?

Since taking a break from online dating, I’ve had an epiphany.

I need to meet more guys I actually have things in common with.

The reality is that I live in a small sized, very outdoorsy city where a huge segment of the population is into “CHFK” (Camping, Hiking, Fishing & Kayaking.) Most of the online dating profiles I’ve come across feature a guys posing in boats, in scuba gear or clutching a large salmon in their hands (like a bear.) Welcome to dating in Canada. Although I love spending time outdoors, being active and living a healthy lifestyle, I would never describe myself as “outdoorsy.” As my friend Kate recently pointed out, I have very “urban” interests. I love red lipstick, dressing up, wearing heels and being wined & dined. Jerk Chicken and Arroz Con Pollo are comfort foods to me. I read like a fiend, watch films in other languages, love underground house music, obsess over R&B new and old, and most days would much rather be at a concert watching an obscure hip-hop group than in a kayak. Most importantly, I prefer my salmon on my plate, rather than in the clutches of my date’s hands. You can take the girl out of Toronto, but it’s much harder to take Toronto out of the girl.

Whenever something falls through with one of the guys I’ve been dating, my Mom is always quick to point out,

“It’s understandable, you didn’t really have that much in common.”

Which of course makes me get defensive.

“Mom, of course we had stuff in common.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know…stuff! Like, I don’t know…eating. We both liked eating!”

Could my Mom be right?!

Although I like to think I’ve been really picky with the people I have chosen to go out with recently, the truth is I haven’t. I mean, not really. When I was online dating, I never even searched under common interests. I’d just base my dating decisions on whether I thought the guy was hot, had good spelling and didn’t look like a potential Dateline predator.

The irony is, being able to search under common interests is what actually makes dating sites like eHarmony so awesome. Instead of trying your luck at a bar or an event, you can actually tailor your searches to find people that you’re not only attracted to, but that you have common interests with. Maybe if I had taken advantage of this, I wouldn’t have made out with that guy whose entire music collection consisted of 12 “Now That’s What I Call Music!” compilation CD’s or ended up dating Fitness Guy, who confessed to me: “I’m not really into music at all. I mean, it’s nice in the background at a restaurant or something.”

When it comes to books or music or food, it’s not crucial that we like exactly the same things. However, to have no preference at all whatsoever, is weird to me.

I once dated a guy that I had so much in common with it was crazy. I’d never met anyone before who felt as passionately (if not more so) about the things that I was passionate about. We’d spend whole days in bed listening to music, making love and talking for hours. Our favourite songs stopped being just songs, but rather extensions of our feelings for each other. I remember the day he told me,

“I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re like the female version of myself. You’re my other half, my soulmate”

The feeling was mutual. We were in love. This is why it felt like I was being stabbed in the heart when I found out he wasn’t the person I thought he was, that he had been lying to me and sleeping with someone else on the side. The experience was so intense that it took me a long time to recover afterward. Is it possible that I’ve been purposely dating people I could never have that kind of connection with because I’m afraid of ending up in the same situation again?

I remember coming across this one awesome online dating profile back in December. The guy was cute, worked in online media and he also really liked author Douglas Coupland. However, when it came to music, he wrote all about his passion for rock and punk, adding at the end of his profile,

“If you don’t live and breathe rock & roll, we’re probably not going to get along. Rock is a huge part of my life and if it isn’t part of yours, you probably don’t want to message me”

I was disappointed but I had to respect the guy for really owning the heck out of who he is. It must have worked for him because when I checked back a week later he’d removed his profile.

I’m thinking maybe that’s what I need to do. I need to figuratively “Live and Breathe the Rock & Roll.” Instead of catering to other people’s interests, I should just put it all out there, own it and hope that the laws of attraction work in my favour. Or at the very least, start using the “interest search” feature when I start online dating again.

After all, it’s only fear until you face it.

This post was brought to you by eharmony.ca. For more dating tips and info, please visit eHarmony Canada on Facebook. All opinions are my own.

A few weekends ago I was hanging out with one of my girlfriends, when she said to me:

“Simone, I bet a lot of people send you weird stuff because of your blog”

“Define weird”

Then she brought up the photo of the Sqweel 2 that I posted on Instagram recently.

“Well, I’d say that thing that looks like wheel of tongues is definitely on the borderline”

I then went on to explain that the The Sqweel 2, “the world’s best selling oral sex toy” is actually kind of awesome. The nice people over at Lovehoney sent me a Sqweel 2 a few weeks ago (thank you!), so I’m really excited to finally give you the skinny on what this toy is all about.

It’s no secret that I’m a fan of oral sex. When a guy goes down on me, it’s pretty much a guarantee that I’ll get off. I only wish I could say the same about good old fashioned penis in vagina sex, but alas, I can’t. So, for those of you who like me and Kelly Rowland “like our kisses down low” the Sqweel 2 is made with you mind.

Sqweel 2 features a wheel with 10 lapping silicone tongues and an exciting ‘flicker’ mode for amazing clitoral stimulation and powerful orgasms. When you turn the toy on using the one touch button on the side, the wheel rotates, allowing the tongues to stimulate your clitoris & do their job! If you want to see what the toy looks like in motion, I suggest watching this short video.

The tongues are made of silky, soft body safe silicone which has the same velvety texture as real skin. To clean the toy, simply press the unlock button on the side of the toy, remove the wheel and clean it with warm soap & water or antibacterial toy cleaner.

The most important thing to understand about the Sqweel 2 is that it’s a completely different sensation than your usual vibrator. Instead of relying on strong vibrations to get you off, it uses friction and flickering motions, much like a real tongue. Although it doesn’t feel exactly like real oral sex – the “tongues” are bit firmer than a real tongue – it definitely feels more like a finger or a tongue than a vibrator. The Sqweel is completely different from any sex toy that I have ever used before, so it took a while to get used to at first. However, once I did, I was able to just lay back and enjoy the ride – which I very much did!

It could just be that I’ve been feeling a pretty sexually frustrated lately (and could probably have an orgasm just by standing next to a washing machine) but the Sqweel got me off really, really good. Within less than a minute of turning the thing on I was having a pretty amazing orgasm…which then lead to several more before I had to shakily peel myself from the bed to catch my breath.

I enjoy the Sqweel because it is so different from any of the other sex toys I own and it works, for me. Because the toy relies on a touching/flickering sensation this is a great option for someone who is looking to experiment with sex toys that don’t involve intense vibrations. Personally I enjoyed the more intense speeds on this toy, however if you have a super sensitive clit you may find the slowest speed is more your pace.

Confession time: I actually own the previous incarnation of this toy “The Sqweel 1.” Having tried both toys, I really like the improvements they made with the Sqweel 2. Not only is it aesthetically a nicer looking toy, the tongues are made of a nicer material and they’ve added fun “flicker and “reverse” modes which the previous version did not have.

Here’s another photo so that you can get an idea of the scale of the toy. It’s roughly the height on a smartphone and easily fits in your hand.

The only thing I don’t really like about the Sqweel 2 is that it is loud, which is kind of a problem when you’re trying to be discreet about the fact that you have something that looks like a bunch of alien tongues rotating between your legs. If I were to redesign this toy, I’d also make the handle and controls more ergonomic. Trying to change the speed of the toy while you’re using the toy is slightly awkward. Lastly, I should mention that it takes 3 AAA batteries. This isn’t a big deal, however I’d love it if Lovehoney came out with a rechargeable version!

Because Joe the Intern has been begging me all week “Let me blog something! Pleeeeeaaaase!!!”, I thought I’d let him share his thoughts on the Sqweel from a man’s perspective.

Even though the Sqweel 2 looks a bit like a miniature shoe-shine meets alien tongue machine, I still give it the thumbs up. Not only does it get the job done, there’s nothing else like it which makes it an interesting toy to add to your collection.

Has anyone else tried this toy? What did you think?

The Sqweel 2 was provided to me free of charge by Lovehoney in exchange for my honest review of the product. All opinions are my own because that’s how I roll. 

In December I participated in the Stratejoy Holiday Council and loved it. One of the things I found extremely helpful about the workshop was it helped me break down my goals for the year into easy to manage pieces. I decided to set goals for two months at a time so that every 60 days I have a different theme and specific things that I’m working on. This has been my theme for March-April:

Why I chose this as a theme: I’ve realized that I’m the best version of myself when I make time to do the things I love: being creative, writing, dancing, pushing my body & getting in regular sweaty workouts, listening to my favourite music, engaging with the world and learning new things. I’ve learned that when I don’t make time for these things, I feel depressed and bogged down.

Have you ever had the feeling like you no longer recognize your own life? Where you think of the person you used to be when you were younger and think “Where did I go?”. Where you spend whole days feeling guilty and discouraged because it feels like you’re not living up to your potential? I’ve had many of these moments. Actually, I spent a huge chunk of my twenties feeling this way. These moments are sad and they’re hard, but they’re also sobering. I believe that if you can recognize something is wrong, you can change it.

When I was a child I had so many diverse interests and things I was totally nerdy about. I swam, ran track competitively, took pottery classes, competed in public speaking competitions, collected stamps, read voraciously, sketched, painted, sang in a choir, played the cello and spoke fluent French. I also danced ballet. I didn’t think so at the time but I was a classic overachiever. Although a lot of my other interests fell to the wayside (when was the last time I made pottery?!), ballet was the one that stuck. By the time I was in my pre-teens I was in the dance studio 4-5 times a week after school.

Although I loved ballet and had the right body type, I didn’t have the stomach for it: the long hours, the constant, never ending criticism, the impossible quest for perfection. Ballet is part art-form, part psychological warfare. It’s a lot to handle when you’re not a fully formed adult emotionally. At some point in my late teens, ballet  just stopped being fun. I wanted to feel like a normal teenager – go out on dates, join the drama club, have a life outside of dance – so, I cut back.

When I moved to Toronto as an 18 (soon to be 19) year old, I swapped the dance studios of my childhood for underground clubs, my pointe shoes for platforms, and piano solos for the bumping bass of house music. Compared to an hour and a half ballet class in pointe shoes, dancing all night in 5 inch heels seemed like a breeze. The upside is that I developed an abnormally high tolerance for foot pain. The downside is that I eventually reached a point in my mid 20′s, where I was working in an office job I hated, swilling vodka on the weekends and wondering “What have I become. Where did all my interests go?!”

Although I took dance classes sporadically while I lived in Toronto, I never made it a priority. Even though I missed ballet, I think I was afraid of feeling of how I used to feel when I took ballet classes as a teenager: picked on, criticized, imperfect, never good enough. Instead of facing my fears, I made excuses as to why I wasn’t taking ballet classes: work, stress, school, relationships, money etc. When I was in my late 20′s I suffered a really bad back injury. My excuse then became “I’ll go back to ballet when my back is better.” However, since being diagnosed with Degenerative Disc Disease and arthritis, I’ve realized that my back is never going to be fully “better” and it seems silly to not do something that I enjoy.

To really be in love with my life, I need to dance. Just like I need to write. As I was telling my Mom the other day, I’d really like to take a ballet class where nothing is on the line, where the only person I’m trying to impress is myself. So, that’s what I have decided to do! I got so excited about the prospect of dancing again, that I the other night I dug out my old pointe shoes and took them for a whirl around the kitchen…

Since I haven’t taken a ballet class in a really long time, I decided to ease back into it by taking Barre Method. The classes are a blend of yoga, pilates and ballet exercises. I love it! As I was explaining to my friend Kate, “It’s like X-treme Ballet.” We do typical ballet moves but with weights, balls and lots of reps, all set to fun music. And oh boy, do you feel it. Like actual ballet, it’s hard work but the hard is what makes it good. In case you were wondering, it also gives you glutes and abs that could crush cans.

{Photo via Barreworks, Toronto}

It feels really good to move my body in this way again. Just like when I visit Quebec or France and immerse myself in French, doing ballet exercises again makes me feel like my body is remembering a language it learned many years ago. I’m starting with Barre Method so that I’ll be ready to take an actual dance class in the summer. Who knows, after that I may even brush up on my French!

Sometimes I wonder if maybe we get it right the first time. If what we are passionate as children is a reflection of our true calling in life. I was a kid who loved dancing, telling stories and learning about the world – which, essentially describes who I am now. I don’t think our essential selves really change that much from when were children, it’s just that life piles on so much bullshit that sometimes they get buried under other people’s expectations of who we should be. I imagine if we all peeled back the layers, we’d find our beautiful, shiny, awesome cores. That’s what I’m trying to do. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Do more of what makes you awesome: my new life mantra.

What makes you awesome? 

Sadly the word “Canadian” is not internationally synonymous with “Style” and “Sex Appeal.” Although we have some amazing Canadian designers, Canada is also associated with things like toques, hockey hair and the “Canadian Tuxedo.” When I mentioned to an American friend that I would be reviewing a piece from a Canadian lingerie line, I wasn’t surprised that their first question was “Is it plaid?” However, contrary to popular belief, when given the opportunity, us Canadians can be a stylish and sexy bunch.

Homegrown, Canadian company With Love Lingerie is proof of that. I’m always looking for new and unique lingerie, so when I found out that one of my favourite online boutiques, Ohhh Canada,  was carrying some items from the With Love  I was super excited! I was even more excited when the fabulous Katrina offered to hook me up with their black lace floral bra to try.

The Black Floral Lace Bra by With Love is a gorgeous, beautifully made soft cup (underwire-less) bra with a lacy, vintage inspired look. The bra is made of delicate nude mesh with black mesh and lace overlay. Trimmed with black satin, the Black Floral Lace bra has a cute gathered detail in the front and a hook & eye closure in the back.

I was really excited to try this bra for a couple of reasons. First of all, it’s totally gorgeous. As I mentioned before, I have a serious weakness for lingerie that has a vintage or pin-up inspired vibe and this piece definitely fits the bill. The lace and mesh combo give this bra a retro feel but with a modern twist.

Secondly, I wanted to try something new. Although I have a few girlfriends who swear by the cute, lacy, “bralettes” that are super trendy right now, I’ve always favoured more structured lingerie. I like bras with an underwire and usually a thin layer of padding to conceal my nipples from showing through. Sport bras aside, this is the first bra I’ve owned since middle school that doesn’t have an underwire. Crazy right?!

Sidebar – Has anyone else noticed that bras have become totally insane over the past few years?! Walk into any Victoria’s Secret and you’ll find an endless amount of extremely padded bras that promise to do things like “increase your cup size by three sizes!” – because apparently it’s not enough to have boobs, they need to also be pushed up to your chin. When it comes to lingerie, I can see why a lot of women are embracing a softer, more natural look. Lingerie like the Black Floral Lace Bra by With Love is a welcome respite from this insanity. It also doesn’t hurt that it’s really, really pretty.

Put on this bra and basically feels like you’re wearing nothing at all – it’s that comfortable. However, keep in mind that the bra offers very light support. If you’re a bit on the bustier side, this might be an issue for you. It’s also very sheer so, your nipples will show through. This is why I’m not modelling the bra for you guys today. To quote a conversation I had with my friend yesterday,

“Are you going to take photos of yourself in the bra?”

“No, because I don’t want to spend my Sunday night photoshoping out my nipples”

FYI. How it looks on the model is very true to how it looks in person.

This is the perfect bra to wear in the bedroom or for those days when I’m lounging around or writing and want to feel glamorous. However, I wouldn’t wear it under a fitted t-shirt or to do any kind of semi-strenous activity. Perfect for a retro-styled seduction? Yes. Hiking, jogging or dancing the night away? No.

The bra comes in three different sizes –  small (A cup), medium (B cup) and large (C cup) – however, it’s important to note that this bra runs big. I’m a 34 C  and ordered a size Large thinking it would fit, however when I tried it on I was swimming in it. The Large is definitely made for someone who is bigger than a 34 C. However, Ohhh Canada was super awesome about it and promptly exchanged it for a Medium. For this piece of lingerie I would definitely suggest going a size down.

Now for the big question – do I feel sexy in it? 

Yes! Although it’s definitely a change from my usual underwired, cleavage producing bras, I do feel really pretty and sexy in this piece. Because it is so comfortable, this is a great piece to wear in the bedroom. Unlike some of the other lingerie I own, you could easily wear this while you have sex without ever having to worry about chafing or accidentally jabbing yourself with an underwire when you change positions.

However I think my favourite thing about this piece of lingerie is that it is designed and made in Toronto, Canada! It feels really special to have something in my lingerie drawer that’s not only beautiful, but that’s unique and literally handmade With Love in Canada.

What do you guys think – do you have a favourite lingerie brand?

This review was brought to you by Ohhh Canada. I received the Black Floral Lace Bra free of charge in exchange for my honest review of the product. All opinions are my own because that’s how I roll. 

Over the past few years  I’ve poured my heart and soul into this blog, working on posts late at night, early in the morning, on lunch hours while I was still at my day job, blurry eyed and at times on the verge of giving up. There’s been blood, sweat and tears – but luckily not that much actual bloodshed, unless you count that time I cut my hand on a martini glass during a late night, vodka fuelled blogging session (a habit I’ve since given up) Skinny Dip has taught me about the transformative power of hard work, self-promotion and faith. It’s also taught me that I do my best work with a cup of coffee in hand.

However, today is a big day.

I’m really excited to announce that I am the new nationally syndicated Sex, Dating & Relationship columnist  for the Toronto Sun! My first column runs in today’s paper and you can read it here. The column will be syndicated across 140 different papers on a bi-weekly basis, so if you don’t live in Toronto you might just see me within the pages of your local newspaper talking about sex, dating and relationships.

(A preview photo from the pin-up style photo shoot I did this Fall)

I started this blog in 2009 with a specific purpose in mind:  to write, tell stories and use it as a online writing portfolio, in hopes of launching a writing career. Although having a specific focus has definitely helped me during my journey, I had some pretty naive expectations about how long it would take me to reach some of my goals. Three years ago I wrote down a list of goals, one of them being “After my first year of blogging, have my own column in a National publication.” Oh, Simone. What I wasn’t quite prepared for was how much hard work blogging and writing is – it’s fun and inspiring, but work none the less. There are no instant success stories. No one is just going to “discover you.” However, if you work hard and stay focused good things can happen.

In between then and now, my blog has taken me to all kinds of interesting places professionally. I’ve launched a freelance writing career, spoken at a conference held at my alma mater, been on a reality TV show and walked the red carpet at a movie premiere. I’ve written for The Huffington Post, Elle Canada, Canadian Living, the Kit, the Toronto Star and Slice.ca where I am a regular contributing writer. I’ve interviewed high ranking bank executives (while at home in my pyjamas), rubbed elbows with Canadian fashion designers at Fashion week & met D-List movie stars on the red carpet. I’ve also been fortunate to be part of a blogging community that full of some of the smartest, funniest most inspiring people I’ve ever met.

Now that I’ve accomplished the goal I set out three years ago, it feels less like an end point and more like the start of new, exciting things.

If you’re looking to write or take your blog to the next level, here are a few things I have learned over the past few years -

1) Have a specific goal(s) and focus – In other words, what do you want? I knew I wanted to use my blog as a portfolio and eventually turn it into a business – something that’s definitely helped me stay focused. Whether it’s writing a book, scoring that dream job or sharing with the world a super awesome digital scrapbook of your life – figure out what you want out of your blog and go for it.

2) Connect! – Don’t be a stranger. Get to know other bloggers. Reach out to people in your desired industry who are already doing what you want to be doing and find out how they got there. Send that email to that blogger to seems super cool & popular – more likely than not, they’re super friendly & sweet & will be excited to hear from you.

(PS. I love, love, LOVE receiving emails from readers!)

3) Stop comparing your self to others and keep it classy – The internet can be a catty place, so always, always take the high road.  Write fearlessly, but always create work you’re proud of. Look to other bloggers not as competition, but as potential mentors. Do. Your. Own. Thing.

3) Don’t give up!  It can take a while to get where you want to go, but if you put yourself out there, your hard work will eventually pay off. Hang in there. To quote one of my favourite authors, James Baldwin:

“Talent is insignificant. I know a lot of talented ruins. Beyond talent lie all the usual words: discipline, love, luck but, most of all, endurance”

I wanted to do something to celebrate my new column, so last weekend I decided to treat myself to a pretty dress that I’ll wear to the White Party at Bloggers in Sin City this May (which is happening in a month. Oh my!)

I tried it on while I was out shopping with my Dad. As soon as I slipped it on I knew it was “the one.” My Dad, who’s recently become my sounding board for my dating troubles, was hesitant at first about the dress.

“It looks great Simone, but it’s a lot of money for one dress”

“I know Dad, but you’ve heard me describe the bachelor selection in this city. This is probably the only white dress I’ll be buying for a while”

“Well, you’re probably right.”

If these three years have taught me anything, it’s that sometimes the best things in life take time to arrive.

What have you guys been up to? Tell me what’s good!

The last time I was single for an extended period of time 7+ years ago, “sexting” wasn’t really a thing yet. Heck, many of us didn’t have smart phones, which meant sending a text that said “R U There Yet?” required that you to press multiple keys, like, 18 bazillion times. Telling someone over text “I want to bend you over the conference room table, pull up your skirt and cover your mouth to muffle your screams of pleasure” was a major time commitment, and something only reserved for people that were worth risking developing Carpal Tunnel syndrome over. However, now it seems like texting and it’s (at times) creepy cousin sexting, is the primary mode of communication in the dating arena. After Small Town Cop asked me over text about my “nether regions” following our first date, I’ve come to the conclusion that  maybe all this technology is actually harming our love lives more than anything. Seriously, what’s the deal with sexting?!

To get to the bottom of this issue, I’ve decided to call on my friend Liz from No Strings Dating to give her take on sexting. Take it away Liz!

Truth be told, I’ve never really been that big a fan of sexting. Maybe a little bit here and there, when stuck at work or in traffic I’d send off a racy text, or more likely when the guy on the receiving end of said sext is in an important meeting or hanging out with the boys. What can I say? It keeps things interesting. Interesting, yes. Sexy? Not so much. I’m actually of the belief that sexting regularly can ruin your real life sex life. Here’s why.

First of all, some people are big talkers. It’s super easy to pick up your phone and type out what you want to do to someone when you see them.  But all too often people simply can’t deliver on the sexts they send. It might seem like a really hot (and sexy!) idea to text your guy and tell him that you are going to rock his world all night long, baby or that you just love giving head more than life itself, but after a long day of work maybe you just want to cuddle-which would have been perfectly ok if you hadn’t promised otherwise. My general life rule-sexual or otherwise-is to manage not just my expectations but the ones of those around me. In my opinion, it is WAY hotter to have my fiance’ walk through the door thinking it’s going to be another boring night of Modern Family on the couch and surprise him with a can of whipped cream and naked twister, than it is to just talk about it all day and then fall short of his expectations.

Sexing also harms your connection as a couple. Technology is great for maintaining a connection with family and friends, but it doesn’t do much for a relationship-granted, if you’re in a long distance romance that is another story. But generally speaking, if you see your partner everyday, you shouldn’t feel the need to text them all that much about things other than asking if they could pleasepleaseplease stop by the store for tampons and a snickers bar-just me? But I mean, why wouldn’t you just talk to them face to face? Or at least call them on your lunch break if you’re horny and have phone sex in the car like a civilized person. (PS while I am a total sexing hater, phone sex is something I can totally get behind). While it might feel otherwise, sexting actually builds a false sense of intimacy. It feels like a “safe” way to express yourself sexually, but hiding behind an iPhone isn’t going to get you a one way ticket to orgasm city.

These days, relationships start via text and end via text. I have friends who get into intense arguments with their boyfriends via text, and it never seems to occur to them to pick up the damn phone and call each other…or even better, suggest meeting somewhere face to face to hash it out. The best sex is the kind that strips you bare and leaves you a bit vulnerable. If you feel like sexting is the easy or safe  way to let your partner know what you like or what you want, try whispering it in his ear instead. Or better yet, showing him exactly what you mean.

It’s not to say that sexting can’t be a fun add-on to an already satisfying sex life, and there is nothing wrong with texting your boyfriend a naughty one liner (just make sure you send it to the right person) as long as you put more, much more, emphasis on your face to face interactions. Think of sexting as the sprinkles on an already delicious cupcake. It’s just a little something something extra…but you really don’t need it, and it’s not what you notice when you take a big bite. Yes, I did just compare sex to a cupcake. In related news, why yes I am pmsing.

Liz is the social media manager at We Love Dates and No Strings Dating. She writes, tweets and thinks about love and sex all the live long day. In her spare time, she watches way too much reality TV and has a slight obsession with chips, salsa and margaritas. 

What do you guys think about sexting?

I had an EdenFantasys gift card that was burning a hole in my pocket, so recently I decided to “live large” and treat myself to the G4 Big Boss vibrator by Fun Factory. Although I’d been eyeing it for awhile, this is first toy that I’ve tried by Fun Factory – the German design masterminds who are known for their innovative and aesthetically pleasing adult toys.

Friends, there is no dressing this one up. The Big Boss by Fun Factory is exactly what it looks like: a big, black (or orange!), penis shaped vibrator. With a long, thick shaft and a deep, rumbling powerful motor, this toy definitely lives up to it’s name.

The Big Boss has all the makings of a luxury adult toy. It’s made of velvety soft, medical grade silicone and is 100% body safe. It’s water resistant (meaning you can use it in the shower but you can’t fully submerge it in water) and is fully rechargeable (yay!) The toys is powered by three easy to use control buttons. Similar to my beloved Lelo Soraya, I love that the Big Boss has a looped handle, which makes the toy incredibly easy and comfortable to use.

As the name suggests, The Big Boss is a larger sized toy. It has an insertable length of  6.5 inches and a circumference of 5.5 inches, making it the longest and thickest of the vibrators that I own. Although, some people have told me they think this toy is “scary looking”, I don’t think it’s scary at all. Think about it, 6.5 inches really isn’t that big – at least not for me. Studies have shown that the average penis size is approximately just under 6 inches when erect. The Big Boss isn’t an Anaconda. A better way to describe it would be “average and then some.” With that said, you will most likely need to use some water based lube with this toy.

To give you an idea of the scale of The Big Boss, I had Joe the Intern pose casually next to the Jopen Vr12 and the Picobong Kaya. Keep in mind that Joe is approximately the same height as a Ken doll. As you can see, the Jopen Vr12 is slightly longer, however the Big Boss is thicker and has more actual insertable length.

When it comes to the Big Boss by Fun Factory, what’s a “pro” for one person, might be a “con” for another. What the Big Boss really has going for it is it’s size and shape. The toy will definitely give you a fuller feeling than a lot of other vibrators. Although I usually shy away from toys that look anatomically correct, I think this one is beautiful. However, the Big Boss isn’t just a pretty face. It also packs a lot of power. With multiple speeds and vibration patterns, the Big Boss is one of the most powerful toys I own. Considering how powerful this toy is, it’s exceptionally quiet. It only gets slightly louder at the very highest settings.

This is probably going to sound like crazy talk, but of all my toys, this one definitely feels the most “realistic” – i.e. like an actual penis. From it’s slightly flexible shaft to it’s flared head that stimulates the g-spot, if you’re looking for a good stand in for the real thing, the Big Boss will definitely fit the bill. Oh and did I mention it gave me great orgasms?! Because it did.

If you love a toy with some extra girth, length and power, or enjoy toys that stimulate the g-spot, you’ll probably love the Big Boss by Fun Factory. Plus, you’ll finally be able to check off “Own a large black dildo” off your life list (come-on, I know you want to.) However, if this doesn’t sound like you, this toy might not be your cup of tea. Although I really love how this toy feels, it’s not one that I would recommend for beginners. If you’re looking for something similar but smaller and more discreet, I would suggest checking out the Lelo Mona or the Picobong Zizo.

Because Joe the Intern so kindly posed for the photo above, I thought I would let him put in his two cents on this review.

Thanks Joe for sharing that (quite disturbing) personal anecdote. I knew it was a bad idea to let Joe watch The Hurt Locker with me the other night. Anyway, although this toy satisfies me like a boss, I think this just proves my point, that the Fun Factory Big Boss maybe isn’t for everyone. I think the Big Boss is one bad-ass vibrator and am quite happy to be it’s recent hire, but that’s just me.

What do you guys think?

This post was brought to you by EdenFantasys. I received a gift card to support my on-going sex toy and lingerie addiction, in exchange for my honest review of the product. All opinions and over-sharing are my own, because that’s how I roll.

To say I’ve been a bit sexually pent up lately would be the understatement of the century.

When I was still seeing Fitness Guy, sexy time was hard to come by. He’s a single dad with a child at home and I’m currently still living with my parents, which meant that to get some horizontal alone time, it usually required some creative scheduling. There’s only one thing worse than being single and sexually frustrated – it’s dating someone you’re attracted to and knowing you can’t have sex with them when you want to. There were a few times near the end where I needed it so bad, that it required all my willpower not to maul him in his car when he dropped me off at the end of the night.

Now that I’m 100% single, it’s like my hormones are officially running wild.

I know what you’re probably thinking, “But Simone, don’t you have like a bazillion amazing vibrators at your disposal?!”

Yes, it’s true – I do have a fairly impressive collection of sex toys. I also have tons of lingerie and massage oil and lube and so many condoms that I can only hope I’ll be able to use up before they all expire. I’m starting to become the creepy, bougie female equivalent of Seth Green’s character in the 90′s classic “Can’t Hardly Wait”.

Swap that backpack for a Louis Vuitton Never-Full bag, and that’s basically me in a nutshell – minus the tracksuit and goggles. To the outside observer I’m one step away from being one of those people who hoard cans of soup in their homemade backyard bomb shelter, however in my case it looks like I’m preparing for some impending Sexual Apocalypse where strawberry flavoured lube and crotchless panties will no longer be available for purchase.

Not that I’m complaining about my stockpile of goodies – I absolutely love, love, LOVE the perks of my job. However, after spending a huge chunk of my week writing about sex, dating and relationships, the piles of condoms and the sexy lingerie (that no one ever sees except you guys!) act as a reminder of how much sex I’m not having. For awhile I thought what I really needed was just hot roll in the hay. However, as much as a sexy fling sounds awesome right now, I’ve learned that casual sex really isn’t my thing anymore. I’m looking for a deeper, longer lasting emotional connection. I’d like to find the kind of chemistry I had with Fitness Guy, but with someone who actually wants to stick around.

Still, the hormones rage on. It’s gotten so bad that my mind has started to wander to interesting (inappropriate) places. As I was telling my friend over Skype the other night, I’ve never been one to date younger men. However, lately I’ve taken to checking out the cute young guy who works at the Polish Deli.

My friend: “How old is this said, young guy?”

Me: “I mean, he could be 17 or 18, but I think he’s closer to 19 or 20. You know, it’s hard to tell”

Her: “The fact that you’re not sure signals that something is very wrong with this situation”

Me: “No kidding, it all seemed pretty innocent until the last time I was in there and he actually checked me out. Then I was thinking, WHOA BUDDY THIS IS WRONG. I’M OLD. It also didn’t help that I was buying a large thing of Kielbassa.”

My friend is right. I’d never act on this situation, however I’m hoping if I keep bringing it up she might fly out from Toronto to see me under the guise of staging an intervention so, we can instead spend the weekend doing more important things like drinking champagne.

I thought maybe my troubles were coming to end after I went out on a couple dates last week with a new guy we’ll call “Small Town Cop.” Small Town Cop was nice, friendly, handsome, well-dressed and of course, an officer of the law. We went out for a nice dinner at a popular restaurant in town and had a good enough time for him to ask me out again. I told him that I’m a writer and about the blog. I didn’t really think this would be an issue until he texted me the next day.

“So, I’ve been reading your blog. Just one question: when I kissed you last night, did you feel it in your nether regions? ”

“Ha, what?!”

Then he mentioned that he’d read about this on my blog. To be honest I write for myself and clients, all week, every week and sometimes it’s hard to remember exactly what I’ve said before. Immediately, I started wracking my brain trying to remember when I had ever used the term “nether regions” in a post. Meanwhile I’m also just thinking:

“FUCK. So, this is what it feels like when your blog comes back to bite you in the ass”

Although the kiss goodnight was nice, I didn’t feel any butterflies and certainly not in my nether regions. In fact, I was mostly just distracted because I was still thinking of Fitness Guy. But was I going to tell him that? No. I liked the guy enough to see where this might lead. However, this wouldn’t be the last I’d hear about this.

On our second date I addressed the topic of my blog:

“So, I take it by the fact that we’re hanging out again that you’ve read the blog and you’re not horrified?!”

“Well, not horrified, but it’s definitely concerning.”

I’ve realized that I take it for granted that the people I date are going to be accepting of my blog and what I do.  After all, only a few months ago, following one of our afternoon romps, I sat naked at my desk reading some of my blog posts to Fitness Guy after he had inquired about my writing. When I asked him if he was horrified, he replied by saying:

“No, not at all. I don’t judge people”

Which made me like him just a little bit more. Although Small Town Cop’s comment was awkward, I decided to laugh it off.

Later, when he kissed me goodnight he asked:

“So, Simone how are your nether regions right now”

I burst out laughing:

“OMG, YOU NEED TO STOP CALLING THEM THAT RIGHT NOW”

However, as much as those two words were mortifying to hear out loud, I decided to play along adding,

“For the record, my nether regions are fine. How are yours?”

“Good. I think you’re thinking about things to do to my nether regions”

“That’s plausible, but I refuse to comment on that”

Maybe this nether regions thing would be our little inside joke?! Or not. A few days later, Small Town Cop texted to let me know he just wasn’t feeling it. I’m not too torn up about it. There were obvious things we didn’t have in common – for example, he doesn’t really drink and I have been known to drink a margarita out of a plastic guitar. At the end of the day, I think me and the blog totally freaked him out.

After this experience, I’m not sure whether I’ll start dating again right away. I might just take a break until the ordeal of Fitness Guy is 100% out of my system.

One thing I do know for sure is that I will never, ever, use the words “nether regions” in another piece of writing again.

Has your blog ever come up in your dating life?