On Bromances, Breakups & The Stories That Bind Us

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When I start dating someone new I have to “come out” to them about a lot of stuff. For example, that I write about sex & relationships on the internet, that I live with my mother and that I have an anxiety disorder (I usually save the last one until I’ve had a chance to get to know them.) However, since bringing on Joe the Intern in 2013, if they’re OK with all of the above, then I have to add, “Oh and by the way…I also have an “employee”  who is a 12 inch tall half naked man.” You either get what Joe is about or you don’t. But, if you are going to date me, you need to know that me and Joe are a 2-for-1 package.

One of the things that initially impressed me about The Secret Agent was that he wholeheartedly embraced the presence of Joe the Intern, right from the beginning.

A few days after our very first date, The Secret Agent was scheduled to go on a business trip. He texted me from his destination and asked, “Is there anything that you or Joe need from the mainland?”

I told him I was good, but sent him this photo of Joe just for fun.


He came back from his business trip with a box of jellybeans for Joe and I to share. This was the start of what would be an epic bromance between the Secret Agent and Joe.

Actions speak louder than words. By accepting Joe into his life, The Secret Agent made it clear that he also accepted my quirks – a sign that he was the right person to have in my life.

After that initial offering of jellybeans, The Secret Agent and Joe would exchange messages on the regular.

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And, like any Step-Boss trying to impress his lady, he spoiled both of us rotten. He made sure Joe & Hammer kept their fanciness on fleek with a pair of jaunty top hats. He also purchased Joe a tiny pair of vintage cowboy boots and generously donated to the Skinny Dip vehicle pool, much to the delight of the interns.

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To show his affection for Joe, The Secret Agent even went so far as to get this T-shirt made for our adventure at the Squamish Music Fest.


However, it’s not about the material things that The Secret Agent brought into the relationship, but rather, the unending patience he showed for my unconventional hobby/intern. He travelled with Joe, helped me shop for props and never complained when I had to do multiple takes of the same photo just to get the perfect shot (doll photography is a lot harder than it looks!)

I know if you asked the The Secret Agent, he’d tell you that he doesn’t just tolerate Joe, he truly enjoys spending time with him and helping with the photos (& disposing of um, “personal items” in elaborate ways.)

While we were California, we used the bikes provided by our airbnb hosts and spent an afternoon riding around Venice beach & Santa Monica. When I looked up at The Secret Agent riding ahead of me on the boardwalk and saw Joe’s tiny head peeking out of the top of his cross body bag, I not only smiled – I felt grateful to have S.A in my life.

As I’ve explained before, The Secret Agent and I are alike in some ways, but also very different in others. Despite differences in lifestyle and ways of being, a shared affection for Joe was always a constant in our lives.

Whenever these differences became impossible to ignore or silence crept into our conversations, there was always Joe, standing by to break the tension.

The Secret Agent would ask me, “What do you think Joe’s up to right now?”

And I would reply with something like, “Shhhh, don’t break his concentration. He’s telepathically communicating with Hammer about all the margaritas they’re going to make tonight.”

That tiny 12 inches of muscled plastic was the glue that held us together, until it was no longer enough. 

I’ve always thought that the worst parts of breakups aren’t the actual moment of the split, but rather the weeks, days, hours leading up to it. When you stop holding hands in your sleep. When texts that used to be signed by “xoxox” are now signed with happy faces instead. When kisses on the lips are replaced with kisses on the nose. When you start feeling more like friends than lovers. You try and convince yourself that you’re just imagining these things; that you’re reading too much into it, despite the fact that evidence to the contrary is staring you right in the face.

These are the moments that suck the most.

This is all to say that The Secret Agent and I broke up about a month ago.

While it’s always sad when something ends, I don’t have any regrets when it comes to my relationship with The Secret Agent. Unlike my relationships in the past, which involved a lot of self-sabotage and trying to force square pegs into round holes, I’m proud of how I handled us being together. I committed, I was patient and I let the relationship evolve organically – we both did. We had a great few months together, but when those differences became too big to overcome, we parted ways as adults without any drama.

{Epilogue} I’m fine. The Secret Agent is fine. Joe is fine. The Secret Agent & Joe have decided to stay in touch and continue being “bros.” Joe is handling it all like a champ, with his signature brand of stoic silence.

(Top photo is via Steven Henke‘s series, “Barbie Does Palm Springs“)

We Tried it | Virtual Bra Fitting With HerRoom.com

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I’ve yet to meet a woman who says, “I love bra shopping.” As much as I love lingerie, even I kind of hate bra shopping. Finding a bra that fits properly and actually feels sexy, is no small feat – especially if you’re shopping online. Although I do get a lot of lingerie online, the process still is a bit nerve wracking. If the piece doesn’t fit (or worse, makes me look like a tied ham), returning things from Canada can be costly and a huge hassle.

When the people at HerRoom contacted me about trying their virtual bra fitting feature to help me find the perfect bra I was both excited and skeptical. Could an algorithm really help me find lingerie?

Well, for starters, Herroom is not your average online lingerie retailer. Founded by Tomima Edmark in 1998, HerRoom has grown from bras and panties to swimwear, sleepwear, and intimate apparel and beyond. From petite to plus size they carry over 200 brand names – from Maidenform, Playtex and Wacoal to high-end luxury brands like Agent Provocateur.

One of the things I like best about the site is that they have tons of really great fitting resources, many of which are included in this Seven Bra Fitting Secrets  infographic. Seriously, check it out. There is also lots of other helpful guides and videos in their extensive Bra Fit Center.

What was truly eye-opening was the  Universal Cup Size (UCS) finder. For the ladies out there who are a D cup or larger, have you ever tried bras by different companies and noticed that they fit completely different even though they are labelled as your size? It’s not just you. Sizing can actually vary depending on the company. That’s why Herroom has an app that helps you find your Universal Cup Size (UCS) (see video below)

To find out your Universal Cup Size, you enter your bra size in your preferred brand (for example, I’m a 32DD at Victoria’s Secret). It will then translate it and display the corresponding size in all major brands.   This way, when you’re shopping you can actually find the right size. Life. Changing. Screen Shot 2015-11-10 at 7.26.06 PM

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So, while I’m a 32DD in Victoria’s Secret, I’m a 34E in another brand (and so on..) This has made shopping so much easier.

After taking their Know Your Breasts Bra Finder, which helps you choose the right style of bra for your shape, it was time to choose a bra based on the results.

My intention was to find the perfect black, lacy bra that was also supportive – something that was missing from my lingerie wardrobe. I was also hoping to grab something from the Agent Provocateur collection because it’s a brand that I’ve lusted after forever. However, when I went to the AP page, I realized that while their lingerie is gorgeous & sexy, the bra shapes probably wouldn’t work as well for me as other brands. In the end, I decided on the Le Mystere Isabella All Over Lace Bra in Black.


I would like to go on record and say that this is by far the nicest and most flattering bra I have ever owned. It’s beautifully made and fits me exactly like in the photo.. This is my perfect bra. GOOD JOB SCIENCE!


Le Mystere Isabella All Over Lace Bra is gorgeously detailed and features a black lace overlay atop of nude cups. I’m absolutely in love with the two-toned nude & black straps!


Functionality-wise, this bra has everything that I look for: lined cups without extra padding, thick supportive straps and a wide band in the back. It’s also shockingly comfortable. It’s rare that you find a bra that makes you feel both supported and sexy. This is that bra for me.



Along with being what is arguably the best bra I’ve ever owned, it’s also the most expensive. The Le Mystere Isabella All Over Lace Bra retails for around $12o Canadian, however HerRoom currently has it on special for $69 Canadian (probably less if you’re shopping from the States.)

While more expensive than your average bra; the quality of this piece is undeniable. It’s beautifully finished, made of gorgeous materials, designed with function in mind (supportive straps & a thick band = swoon!) and comfortable to boot. Honestly, I couldn’t have dreamed up a better bra if I’d tried.


If most of your bra shopping trips end with drowning your woes in frozen yogurt and waffles in the food court (um, I’ve been there), I highly suggest you give HerRoom’s Know Your Breasts Bra Finder and Universal Cup Size (UCS) app a try. It’s changed the way I shop for bras and if anything, will make your next lingerie shopping excursion much less frustrating. Hey, you might even find your very own “perfect bra.”

Shop Lingerie from HerRoom and get FREE SHIPPING on orders $70+. Click Here!

I received this stunning piece of lingerie from HerRoom in exchange for my honest review of the product. All opinions are my own because that’s how I roll. ( I’m just really, really, really into this bra.) 

We Tried It | A Vibrator That Looks Like a Giant Robot Finger

Hey, remember when I said I had a really fun sex toy review up my sleeve? Well, my friends, this one is a doozy.

It all starts on a rainy, stormy night sometime last winter. I was at home, enjoying some solo Netflix and Chill time, when I stumbled across the show Frisky Business. A few hours later, I’d watched the entire first season. In case you haven’t seen it, the reality show provides a fly on the wall look at everything that goes on at Lovehoney headquarters. I’ve been working with Lovehoney for a few years now, so while I’m not usually a fan of reality tv (unless, we’re talking about the TV masterpiece that is Gigolos), it was pretty cool seeing on-screen some of the people I’ve interacted with over the years (hi Caz!)

So, anyway. There’s this great scene where the team is trying to come up with ideas for sex toys and someone suggests attaching a slim dildo onto an electric turkey carving knife. The result is a protype for a vibrator that mimics a giant thrusting finger (you can watch the teaser scene here.) Flash forward a few months and BAM! the ROCKBOX Finger Thrusting Vibrator is born.



A vibrator that was inspired by an electric turkey carving knife (hey, my grandma has one of those knives!) sounds like either the best or the worst idea ever (but most likely the latter.) Naturally, I was curious. At the beginning of the summer I finally got my hands on my very ROCKBOX Finger Thrusting Vibrator and I’m now ready to share my findings.



Let’s start by discussing what we have here. The ROCKBOX Finger Thrusting Vibrator is a finger shaped, silicone vibrator that vibrates and “thrusts”  (similar to Fun Factory Stronic Eins, which I reviewed earlier in the year.) The toy is described as “With a strong, thrusting finger that is perfectly shaped to stimulate the G-spot, it’s the ideal sex toy for adventurous women who are curious about the phenomenon of squirting.”

With 5.5 inches of insertable length and 3 thrusting speeds, the Fun Factory Stronic Eins promises to “kick-start your journey to an explosive G-spot orgasm.” Are you intrigued? BECAUSE, I’M INTRIGUED. 51899-06

Now that I have had a chance to ahem, satisfy my curiosity, I will say this: I was right about my initial assessment. The Rockbox Thrusting Finger is both the best thing and the worst thing all at the same time. Let me explain.

Here’s what it has going for it –

  • Power. This toy is powerful AF. It feels like something that belongs in a hardware store, not your bedroom. I actually jumped a little when I turned it on for the first time! Don’t believe me? Watch this video. But, as someone who is perpetually  disappointed with lacklustre & weak-ass toys, the sheer power of Rockbox Thrusting Finger is a huge selling feature. Once you figure out how to use the toy (I’ll get to that in a minute) it feels like you’re getting the fingering of lifetime by the (neon pink) hands of Thor (or equivalent superhero.)  I mean, check out the video…

  • G-spot stimulation. Hits the right spot. Enough said.
  • Fun, cheeky, power tool inspired packaging. You’re either going to love the simple hardware store inspired packaging of this toy or you’re not. I personally think it’s kind of hilarious. The packaging isn’t anything luxurious, however it suits the experience of the toy (see above.) 

Here’s what’s needs improving –

  • Awkward battery situation. I’m usually not a fan of battery operated toys. With that said, I wouldn’t mind the fact that the Rockbox Thrusting Finger is battery operated if the batteries weren’t so difficult to insert/remove. Batteries are inserted in the top of the toy, however getting the top unscrewed is nearly impossible. I had to use a pair of pliers. That’s taking this whole hardware store theme just a little too far…

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  • It has quite a bit of “drag.” I’m not even sure if drag is the right word. High school physics was never my strong point. Basically, here’s the problem: this is a mechanical toy. It thrusts. While this feels awesome, if you press the toy too hard against the walls of your vagina, the friction will cause it to either slow down or temporarily stop altogether. In order to get the most out of this toy, you have to hold it lightly and not bear down on it too much. This isn’t the worst thing ever – it just takes a bit of practice and getting used to. Now that I’ve figured out how to make this toy work for me, it’s great.
  • IT’S LOUD AF. Oh my god, I cannot stress how loud this toy is. I’ve been reviewing sex toys for almost five years and this is by far the loudest toy I have ever encountered. It’s noisy in a way that will have your neighbours wondering why you’re using a chainsaw in your bedroom.

So, while the negative aspects make the Rockbox Thrusting Finger less than ideal (ugh, the batteries!), the sheer power and feel of the toy still outweigh the “cons” – at least for me.

While I’m certain that the Fun Factory Stronic Eins is a much higher quality of toy (rechargeable! German designed! Doesn’t require pliers!), the Rockbox Thrusting Finger is the one I find myself reaching for whenever I’m craving a toy that thrusts and pulsates. The Rockbox Thrusting Finger has more raw power. Plus, I find that the thinner, more finger-like shape of the Rockbox is easier to maneuver and better at actually reaching my g-spot.

I like to think of the two toys like this:

If the Fun Factory Stronic Eins and the Rockbox Thrusting Finger were sitting at a bar together, the Stronic would be the suave European guy  (handsome! good job! nice apartment!) confidently nursing a pricey Scotch. On the other end of the bar you have the Rockbox, drinking a Smirnoff Ice and yelling at the TV. You’ll flirt with the sexy European, but at the end of the night you’ll go home with Mr. Smirnoff Ice. Sure, he’s not as refined and you’re not certain whether his mullet is ironic or not, but gosh darn it, this dude has a way with his hands.

Yes, this is exactly the kind of situation we’re dealing with here, my friends.

So, while this toy isn’t perfect, I did have a lot of fun with it. The Rockbox isn’t as good quality as something like the Fun Factory Stronic Eins – but, the price reflects this. At $49.99, the Rockbox Thrusting Finger is an affordable option for anyone who is looking to try something new and different without breaking the bank. (this is compared to the Stronic’s nearly $200 price tag.)

What do you guys think?

Free delivery on all orders over $40

This toy was provided to me free of charge by the awesome people at Lovehoney. All opinions are my own because that’s how I roll. 

Review | All’s Fair in Love & Wardrobe

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(A book review by Contributor, Suzanne Paddock) “To all the girls who’ve ever wanted to shop, dress, eat, party, travel and Instagram like a fashion editor. Now you can date like one.” So starts off All’s Fair in Love and Wardrobe: A Fashion Editor’s Rules on Shopping for Love by Stephanie Simons, “fashion editor, television beauty expert,Continue reading

California Dreams + Evolving as a Blogger

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Two weeks ago, I did something that I have been daydreaming about for the past 5 years. In 2010 I went to Los Angeles for the first time and have been dying to go back ever since. Some girls love Paris. Others are obsessed with New York City. Maybe it comes from growing up on the West CoastContinue reading

Interview | Living a Sexy Life With Dr Rebecca Rosenblat

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The word “sexpert” gets thrown around a lot these days. Heck, I’ve even had the word featured under my byline. However, Rebecca Rosenblat is the real deal. Call her an “OG” Sexpert if you will. Rebecca’s credentials are impressive to say the least. She’s a Toronto based Certified Psychotherapist, Relationship & Sexuality Educator, Author, Talk ShowContinue reading

Single Is The New Black? Um, Not So Much


(photo credit via handmade charlotte)  Last month I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell, a renowned psychologist, relationship expert and author, for a Toronto Sun article. She was lovely to work with and kindly offered to send me a copy of her new book, Single is the New Black: Don’t Wear White ‘Til it’s Right toContinue reading