When I hit my mid-twenties and most of my friends started to get married, I was suddenly thrown into the new, strange world of Bachlorette Parties and Bridal Showers. I learned very quickly that Bachlorette Parties involve lots of things shaped like penises. I never understood what wearing matching pink sombreros adorned with tiny, sparkly penises had to do with celebrating life-long matrimony, but that’s beside the point. When it was time to plan my friend’s Bachlorette party, I went with the equation I was familiar with, “Bachelorette = Penis” and during one last minute, frantic, after-work shopping shopping trip, I cleaned out my local sex shop‘s entire supply of penis shaped drinking straws. Worried that I might not fill the “Penis Quota” for the party, I may have also purchased some other things.
I enjoy a crowd surfing blow-up doll as much as the next person, but I’m relieved that “as we have matured, the parties have matured with us.” The days of exploding penis cakes and tequila shots have been replaced with sexy lingerie showers, fine champagne & more champagne.
Even though most of my wedding related celebrations no longer involve me doing handless shots at the bar (this only happens when I go to Vegas for blogging conferences), I still find the gift giving process a little nerve wracking. For those of you who need a few gift ideas (or maybe just want to treat yourself!) I’ve perused the EdenFantasys website and put together a list of bridal shower gifts that are sexy, fun, non-cheesy and affordable (none of which resemble a penis!)
1. The Booty Parlor Intimacy Love Kit. ($24)
This cute and chic gift set from Booty Parlor, includes two vials (a scented massage oil and water based lube), condoms (just in case) and (gasp!) a vibrating cock ring. I have vague margarita-hazed memories of having a conversation with another blogger when I was in Vegas a few weeks ago, hailing the benefits of vibrating cock-rings. The bottom line of the discussion was, “You don’t just buy a vibrating cock-ring for him…you buy it for you.” Ideal for a romantic couples night, the Booty Parlor Intimacy Love Kit is a great introduction into the wonderful world of adult toys and sexual enhancement products. Plus, everything is wrapped up discretely in their signature black and pink packaging so it’s not obvious what’s inside.
2. Coquette Mesh Thong with Lace Waist. ($8.99)
Last spring I attended my first lingerie shower. I noticed during the gift unwrapping that this style of thong was a huge hit! Buying underwear for someone else is tricky. If you buy something too small or too large, you risk making the person feel bad about themselves. This thong is great because it’s “one-size-fits-most”. The scalloped lace waistband is super stretchy and feels almost like you’re wearing nothing at all. I own a few pairs like this and I’m a big fan!
3. Light my Fire Massage Candle ($27.90)
A candle and a massage oil in one, The Light My Fire Massage Candle provides a relaxing and heavenly hot oil body massage experience, with the gentle scent of honey. Dribble some on your partner for massage or just enjoy burning it to set the mood. Made in France, the candle is 100% natural and preservative free (& comes wrapped up in fun, retro-inspired packaging!)
4. Lelo Tantra Feather Teaser ($23.99)
No boudoir is complete without a luxurious feather teaser like this one by Lelo. Even if you don’t use it all the time, owning something like this just feels totally bad-ass. Lelo is known for it’s luxurious, high quality (& often very pricey) sex toys. At $23.99 you can give a little bit of luxury without breaking the bank. Also, this feather teaser is rated on as one of EdenFantasys “Top 10 Flogging Toys” (ha!)
5. Booty Parlor pin-up shorts ($19.49)
Also made by Booty Parlor, this comfy, booty flattering panty is perfect for anyone who is obsessed with all things vintage and burlesque. I kind of just want to put these on and perform my own burlesque show in my bedroom (even if no one is watching.)
I may be biased towards these products because the packaging looks very similar to the Skinny Dip branding, but what really sold me on Dona’s collection of body products is that they include lots of natural ingredients and come in yummy fragrances like Mangosteen, Blue Lotus, Pomegranate, Acai and Camu Camu. Their linen spray, kissable body drizzle and body butter are all infused with aphrodisiacs to help set the mood.
You know what sucks about shower sex? Getting cold! Unless you have one of those super giant shower heads (which most of us don’t), one of you always spends part of the sexy time freezing their butt off. The Sex in the Shower line has addressed this problem by creating a dual shower head, so you can focus on the sex and not on who’s turn it is to be under the water. Throw in a pair of their sexy knee pads (to prevent pesky “Tub Burn”) and you have a gift that is both sexy and practical. I would be totally psyched if someone bought me this. I’m being dead serious. No really, SOMEONE SHOULD BUY ME THIS.
Giving someone a vibrator as a shower gift has always struck me as slightly awkward like, “So, since you’re getting married, you’re going to need this.” If you’re going to go that route, why not get something that the couple can both enjoy?! The Lelo Insignia Tiani is a couple’s vibrator designed to be worn by the woman while making love (yes, you heard right!!) and includes a remote control that you can use to move through the different vibration settings. At $159, this is definitely a big ticket item however, I feel like with Lelo products you do get what you pay for. My Lelo Soraya is pretty much the. OMG. best. vibrator. ever. (review coming soon!) I would definitely consider adding this to my collection or getting it for my best friend when she gets married. It seems like it would be a lot more fun than a new set of pots and pans.
What are your thoughts on good/bad bridal shower gifts?
This post was sponsored by Eden Fantasys. I was given a gift certificate to fund my on-going obsession with lingerie and sex toys in exchange for this post. All opinions are my own because that’s just how I roll.