One of the really cool things about having the kind of blog that I do, is that I get to try products that I wouldn’t have picked up for myself. Occasionally, these products are just a tiny bit out of my comfort zone which makes things interesting. This is definitely the case with these Teeze Cheetah Platform Shoes from Ohhh Canada.

It’s no big secret that I love animal prints. So, when the lovely people at Ohhh Canada started carrying these sexy shoes, they offered to send me a pair to try (thank you!)

I should start off my saying that although I love animal prints, most of the heels I wear are more of the traditional stiletto pump variety. So, these are not shoes that I would normally wear outside of the house. However, if my lingerie reviews are any indication, I am a fan of dressing up in the bedroom from time to time. Why? Because it’s fun and re-connects me with my background in theatre. When it comes to dressing up in the bedroom we often overlook one crucial accessory: shoes. I often just throw on my favourite pair of very high patent leather stilettos that go with everything & call it a day. So, although you won’t catch me wearing these shoes for a night on the town, they’re perfect for some dress-up play. They kind of remind me of something “Stripper Lily” from How I Met Your Mother would wear. And if you can’t dress up like your favourite HIMYM doppelgänger in the privacy of your own bedroom, where can you really?

The pin-up worthy Teeze Cheetah Platform Shoes are made of man-made cheetah print patent leather material (giving them a slight sheen), have a built platform and 5.75″ stiletto heel. The strong toe is accented with a sassy cut-out and adorned with a bright red bow. The Teeze Cheetah Platform Shoes are made by Pleaser (a company known for making stripper shoes & sexy footwear) and are part of their Bordello collection – a line that’s inspired by a retro, pin-up and burlesque styles. The shoes come packaged in one of the cutest shoe boxes I have ever seen and include a cloth dust bag for storage & travel.

Although I was a little apprehensive about the height of these shoes (almost six inches!), as you can see I “got into character” and had fun strutting around the house in them as I took them for a test drive.

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What I’ve learned recently, is that sometimes you need to fall completely backwards, in order to catapult yourself forwards.

As you may have guessed from the title, this post is about Fitness Guy. You may remember him as the guy who stood me up, then pretended he didn’t see me/recognize me when we ended up at the same pool a few months later. Yes, that guy.

I hadn’t heard from him in over a year, until a few months ago when a random person texted me info about an upcoming Crossfit program. Not recognizing the number, I promptly texted back:

“Thanks for the training info, but I’m not sure who this is.”

“Sorry, it’s Fitness Guy. Hope you’re doing well!”

(I assume he sent the message out to his whole address book. Who does that in 2014?)

I thought that was the last I’d hear from him, however about a month later, I received another message saying that he’d been walking by the pub near my house the other night & had been “thinking of me.”

Reluctantly, we began to chat back and forth.

“Truth be told, a couple of my friends emailed me your post about the 20 Guys You Will Meet Online Dating in Victoria. It was hilarious and I have been debating whether to reach out to you ever since” he revealed to me.

Although I vowed to ignore Fitness Guy if he ever contacted me, I’m human and my ego got the best of me. Here was the guy who used to send emails that just said “K” in response to my questions, initiating a full on discussion about my writing, the recent attention my blog has received on social media and my freelancing business. It was equal parts flattering and completely perplexing.

Eventually though, he cut to the chase. “I know this ship has probably sailed Simone, but I’d love it if we could grab a drink and catch up sometime.”

Although I know better, I couldn’t help but wonder if the leopard had changed his spots. Against my better judgement, I agreed to meet him for a drink.

My rationale for saying yes can be broken down into three parts: a) I was curious to see what his intentions were and if an apology was on the menu b) I wanted to confront him about the pool incident c) he had mentioned that he’d injured himself 6 months prior and hadn’t been able to keep up with his intense fitness regimen that kept him looking like the human incarnation of Joe the Intern when we were dating. On the other hand, I’ve been working out like a beast. I figured he was probably feeling a bit insecure. I couldn’t resist seeing him, knowing that I’d have the upper hand. Evil, I know – but who hasn’t at some point wanted to stick it to an ex?

Cue to a quiet Tuesday night in Victoria when I met Fitness Guy for a drink at Ferris’ Oyster Bar. I dressed for the date like I was going into battle: a black pencil skirt, fitted black sleeveless top and black, pointy-toed, patent leather pumps. Purse: Alexander Wang, heavily studded. I was prepared to go in there, let him say his piece & not budge an inch. But, the Universe (or should I say, my raging hormones) had other plans.

Have you ever met someone that you know is terrible, but your body just intuitively responds to them whenever they’re around? Unfortunately, that person for me is Fitness Guy.

When we saw each other and he wrapped his arms around me in a giant hug, I knew I was in trouble. However, luckily my Pheromone-high (“Oh my god, I’m touching a real, live, sexy human!”) came crashing down almost immediately once we sat down at our table.

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Remember when I reviewed the Pleasure Purse aka that really sexy leather gym bag designed to store and carry all of your sexy time goodies? Owning a bunch of sex toys is a lot of fun, however figuring out how to store them (especially if you have little ones or are trying to be ultra-discreet) can be a bit of a challenge. With that said, I am pleased to announce that the really lovely people at Pleasure Purse have offered to send one of my readers their very own bag to enjoy!

To re-cap, here are a few things I love about the Pleasure Purse –

-It’s roomy. You can store a bunch of toys, lubes and other fun goodies in this luxurious bag, safely and discretely.

-It’s made of soft, black leather (not vegan friendly)

-It can double as a gum bag or an overnight bag for a sexy getaway.

–Pleasure Purse is a Canadian Company! 🙂

If you’re curious about learning more, make sure you visit my original review. The Pleasure Purse is a premium product and retails for $119. So, I’m super excited to be giving one away!

 To enter, leave a comment on this post & follow the prompts below. I’ll pick a winner next Wednesday! Giveaway is open to all Canadian and USA residents.

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