You know the saying, “Never go grocery shopping when you’re hungry?” It’s wise advice. Whenever I’ve gone to the grocery store hungry I always end up buying a bunch of stuff that I never would have bought otherwise, like a $30 wheel of brie, salted caramel vegan brownie mix and a 2lb package of Sriracha flavoured cocktail weenies. When I get home I realize I still don’t have anything to make an actual meal and end up ordering a pizza by default.  THIS is why I try not to avoid grocery shopping when I’m hungry.

I have a new one for you though: don’t shop for sex toys when you’re really horny. I speak from experience. A few months ago I was going through a bit of a “dry spell” sex wise. Coincidentally, this sexless interlude in my life coincided with having to select the next toys I would review as part of the California Exotics Sexpert Program. Hence, the reason I am now the owner of the Bendie Power Stud Clitterific aka a vibrator that looks like a giant, veiny, pink penis. I think it’s safe to say that this is the sex toy equivalent of the 5lb package of Sriracha flavoured cocktail weenies.

 When I chose this toy, clearly I had PENISES on my mind (big, rubbery, bright pink penises apparently). Just like one of those stories that you hear about people who’ve gone on benders only to realize when they’re sober that they’ve bought a shit ton of stuff from Sky Mall, I’d totally forgotten about the Bendie Power Stud Clitterific until it landed on my doorstep in a UPS box. “Oh right, so this happened” I thought to myself. What can I say? In my desperate state, this pink and veiny guy seemed like a good idea.

So what exactly are we dealing with here? The Bendie Power Stud Clitterific is 7. 5 inch long (6.5″ of which is insertable), flexible, anatomically inspired vibrator made of Pthalate-free PVC. It has three speeds that are easily controlled by a one touch button at the base. It’s powered by 2 AA batteries.

What makes this toy unique is that it features a flexible “bendie” shaft that you can bend and shape to the angle you prefer and spiky “studs” near the base that are meant to stimulate your clitoris, hence it’s name.

This is by far one of the most ridiculous toys I’ve ever owned so I had very low expectations for it. However, I have to say I was pleasantly surprised by how well it worked. Although it’s battery powered and only has three speeds, the vibrations are surprisingly powerful and rumbly. As someone who tends to enjoy larger toys, the Bendie Power Stud Clitterific actually has a decent girth and length to it. It works well as both a clitoral stimulator and as an insertable toy. There’s also the option of turning off the vibrations completely and using this as a straight up dildo.

Also, you can bend it into all kinds of weird shapes. Behold it’s bendiness!

Stud 1
After I tried the toy in it’s original shape, I bent it forward and found that this new shape was able to stimulate my g-spot nicely. The downside: a bent pink penis looks like a bent pink penis. In other words, it’s not the sexiest looking toy in the world. However, this didn’t stop me from bending it into all kinds of bizarre positions while I was writing this review. I mean, how could I resist? It was just too much fun.

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On Fresh Starts, Sexy Spaces & Living with Less

July 24, 2014

If you’ve been following my Instagram feed lately, you may have noticed that I’ve been busy working on a few offline projects, one of which is the re-vamp of my living space. A few months ago, I shared with you guys some of the frustrations I was having with my current bedroom situation (namely, it’s lack of sex appeal.) Since I’m still […]

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When Palm Trees Give Birth to Sex Toys

July 24, 2014

If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile you may have noticed that the majority of the sex toys I review are either purple or pink in hue. That’s no coincidence – I remember reading somewhere recently that sex toy companies tend to favour those colours because they are the ones that (apparently) sell best. I also have reviewed a lot of […]

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Review| The We-Vibe Touch: A Toy That Everyone Can Enjoy

July 14, 2014

A few years ago I mentioned how much I love my We-Vibe Touch vibrator (and more recently, the We-Vibe Tango), however I never wrote a full review. To summarize, The We-Vibe Touch is just an all around, really great small clitoral vibrator that can be used for solo and couples play. We-vibe recently released an updated version of the We-Vibe Touch and I’m […]

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Interview | Inside The Not-So Secret Life of an Escort

July 13, 2014

One of my favourite guilty pleasure TV indulgences from the past few years is The Secret Diary of a Call Girl. If you haven’t seen the British series, the show is based on the blog and memoir of the same name written under the pseudonym “Belle Du Jour.” The show follows the life and adventures of Hannah Baxter aka “Belle” (Billie Piper), a […]

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10 Things We Can Learn From a 1970′s Guide to Sensual Massage

July 7, 2014

We need to talk about massage – or more specifically The Art of Sensual Massage, a book from the 1970′s that I found while cleaning out my basement the other day. As the story goes, my sister procured this book at a garage sale to use as part of an art project, however I also suspect it was to horrify my Mom. […]

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On Dating, Chemistry and Rejection

July 1, 2014

Disclaimer: none of these gorgeous photos were taken by me. All have been found via One Sixth Avenue, Black Mountain Prophet &Steven Henke. Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time pondering love, dating and rejection. Why? Because if you’ve dated more than one person, most likely you’ve been rejected. Think back to the first time someone broke your heart. For me, it was […]

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Lingerie Review | Retro High Waisted Knicker & Bra Set by Rene Rofe

June 25, 2014

When asked to describe my personal style, my best friend said without hesitation, “Bold!” It’s true – when it comes to what I put on my body, I don’t like to fade into the background. With that said, I love bright colours and eye-catching prints as much as I love basic black (I’m pretty sure my alter ego is a goth.) My […]

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These Shoes Were Made For Wild Times

June 16, 2014

One of the really cool things about having the kind of blog that I do, is that I get to try products that I wouldn’t have picked up for myself. Occasionally, these products are just a tiny bit out of my comfort zone which makes things interesting. This is definitely the case with these Teeze Cheetah Platform Shoes from Ohhh Canada. It’s no […]

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The Swift Return and Departure of Fitness Guy

June 9, 2014

What I’ve learned recently, is that sometimes you need to fall completely backwards, in order to catapult yourself forwards. As you may have guessed from the title, this post is about Fitness Guy. You may remember him as the guy who stood me up, then pretended he didn’t see me/recognize me when we ended up at the same pool a few months […]

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