Review | Joe the Intern Tries Sexting with Arousr

A few weeks ago, the creators of Arousr got in touch with me about test driving their new app and service. Arousr is a “sexting community” for adults over the age of 21. According to their website, “Arousr is a safe place where adults can connect with other consenting adults to chat, talk, exchange pictures and engage in video call sessions over their smartphone, computer or tablet.”

How it works is that you create an account and immediately receive 100 free credits to chat with anyone on the system. Android users can access the service through the app. iPhone users can access Arousr through their tablet or desktop and by using regular text messaging.

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Although I’ve been known to enjoy a good Sext, since I’m a hetero female currently in a relationship with a man, I’m not exactly the ideal customer for this service. I decided to pass the task of reviewing the app onto Joe the Intern, the resident single male at Skinny Dip headquarters. Take it away Joe…

“Hey dudes. Joe the Intern here. My girlfriend Milly and I are currently on a break ever since she started spending a lot of time at Malibu Ken’s beach cabana and changed her Facebook status to ‘it’s complicated.’ I’ve been feeling a bit lonely lately, so I was happy when Simone assigned me this mission. 

First thing, first – I like that I can use this service on Simone’s iPhone. I prefer using a smartphone vs. a computer or tablet because of hand-size issues. However, I was a bit disappointed that Arousr only had an app for Android. I hope they create one for iPhone users like myself, because the app looks pretty and more fun to use than just regular texting. How about it, guys?

Anyway, regardless I found the service super easy to sign up for and use. I created a profile with my pseudonym “12inchJoe” (because I heard height is really important to women), entered the activation code and then was brought to a page on the website where I could see all of the available ladies online. I chose to chat with a girl named CeCe because in her photo it looked like she was doing Yoga without any pants on – something I sometimes like to do on Saturday mornings. 

CeCe was really friendly and immediately got really excited when I told her I was 12 inches tall. 

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When CeCe asked me where my hands were, I told her I was touching my head. 

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After receiving my photo, CeCe asked me what I was doing. I was honest and told her that I was playing with one of my balls. 

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She asked if I wanted her to put my ball in her mouth, which I thought was a weird question. I told her, “No thank you, Ma’am. I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s already been in a dog’s mouth at the park.”

She then started to tell me that she had just been working out (an activity that we have in common!) 

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When I asked Cece to tell me about herself, she started talking a lot about her cat and how it was soaking wet. I know that cats aren’t supposed to get wet, so I told her “Maybe you should stop talking to me and go dry it off.” However, she had other ideas.

When she told me she wanted me to stick my head in her cat, I thought DANGER! I told Cece, “NO THANK YOU MA’AM!” I immediately threw Simone’s iPhone off of the balcony and ran inside to call the SPCA. 

In summation, I enjoyed using Arousr for the first time, however it was also a deeply confusing experience.” 

Ok, so maybe Joe the Intern also wasn’t the idea candidate to try Arousr, however I think his feedback gives you an idea of how the service works. After your first 100 credits run out (10 received text messages), Arousr becomes a pay to play service – meaning that you have to purchase credits in order to continue the chat or access additional features like video. Since people rarely talk on the phone anymore, Arousr is like a phone sex service for modern, smartphone obsessed times.

Although I wouldn’t normally promote these kinds of services,  as a woman who has been the recipient of far too many unwanted dick pics and sextual harassment, I do see the utility of an app like Arousr. Yes, you pay for the service. However, when used responsibly, Arousr provides single men with a safe outlet to release this kind of energy without alienating the women in their lives.

Just a thought.

Disclaimer: Although this post wasn’t tested on humans, it was brought to you by Arousr – a service for full-sized adults aged 21+. Thanks for supporting the posts and brands that keep Skinny Dip going! If you’d like me or Joe to review your sexy product, please contact us here. 

Meet The iRide: The World’s Most Inconvenient Sex Toy

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of recording an audio workshop (podcast) with one of my favourite people on the internet, Nicole of a Life Less Bullshit. We spent an hour talking about career paths, being a writer and what it’s like to write about sex on the internet – and it was so much fun! You can listen to the audio workshop here.

As you probably know, when it comes to sex toys I’m fairly adventurous and will try almost anything once. I’m not opposed to taking one for the team if it might lead to a great story. So, when Nicole asked me to share one of the most bizarre experiences as a sex writer, I told the story of the time I decided to try the iRide by Doc Johnson – a monstrosity of a sex toy that has since become the bane of my existence. As I described it to Nicole, the iRide looks like a cross between a dildo and a rocking horse, dipped in Pepto-Bismal pink. In other words, it’s utterly terrifying and I’ll never live down the fact that I owned this item. It’s also the worst sex toy ever.

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To quote the Doc Johnson website, The iRide is a “powerful new movement in sex toys” that provides clitoral and g-spot sensation, freeing your hands “for more exciting things.” Simply rock back and forth & enjoy the ride.

So, what exactly is wrong with the iRide besides the obvious? Oh, many, many things my friend. Here’s a quick summary –

It’s wildly uncomfortable. 

The insertable portion of the toy and it’s clitoral nub are made of ABS plastic – a material that although body safe, is notorious for irritating my lady parts. When I “mounted” this toy and inserted it, I immediately felt a familiar burning sensation that happens whenever I try to use ABS toys. Not fun at all.

It’s hard (and not in a good way.)  

As per the Doc Johnson website, “The naturally curved design [of the iRide] allows for sensual rhythmic movement, while the padded cushion makes for a soft, smooth ride.” Um, what padded cushion? This toy is made of hard plastic and the ride is anything but smooth. Although there is a bit of flexibility in the shaft, the large nubby bump that’s meant to stimulate your clit is rock hard. “Rocking” against it felt like I was about to bruise my pelvic bone.

It’s anything but ergonomic. 

Using this toy is awkward. If you try to use it on the floor you’ll inevitably end up with rug or floor burns. However, when I tried to use it on my bed, I nearly went flying.

It’s big…in all the wrong places. 

Hey, did I mention that the shaft on this thing is barely 4 inches long?! Although there are some smaller sized toys that I really love, this is not one of them. The penis portion seems inexplicably small and nubby compared to the rest of the toy which is massive. The total length of the “seat” is approximately a foot and a half. It also comes in the world’s biggest and least discreet box ever.

(I also have the sneaking suspicion that “Doc Johnson” isn’t a real doctor. Just a thought.)

IMG_0164Trying to store the iRide has been a royal pain in the butt. I keep most of my sex toys neatly organized in a cabinet with a bunch of different drawers. Unsurprisingly, the iRide doesn’t fit in the drawers…or any drawers really. The shaft isn’t long enough to be pleasurable, however it’s just long enough to make it impossible to fit under the bed….and there’s absolutely no way I’m leaving this thing out in public.

IRIDE 13 IRIDE 12Needless to say, Joe the Intern is very, very concerned about the storage issues the iRide had caused.

Frustrated, I eventually just put it in a large Marc Jacobs tote bag that has seen better days, stuffed it in the very back of my closet and promptly forgot about the iRide.

That was almost three years ago. Since then, I have moved to another area of the house and my former bedroom has been converted back to a guest room that my sister uses whenever she comes home to visit.

A few weeks ago, I was eating lunch with my sister when her face suddenly dropped.

“Simone, I need to tell you something” she said. “Mom and I were cleaning out the closet and well, we found something of yours. Mom is was really disturbed.”

The first thing that popped into my mind was, “OH GOD. THE IRIDE!”

Mortified, I decided then and there that the iRide had to go.

Although the disposing of the Nick Hawk Dildo was relatively easy, sending the iRide off to the big sex toy pile in the sky proved to be a lot more challenging. Along with being ridiculously inconvenient, the iRide is also nearly indestructible. Not to say that we didn’t try.

After a delicious Sunday brunch, I enlisted the help of my lovely boyfriend (more on him later!) to dispose of the iRide. High on coffee and omelettes, we were full of ideas of how to rid Skinny Dip headquarters of the iRide once and for all.

IRIDE 3 IRIDE 6However, we quickly learned that there is no way to dispose of the iRide discretely. When I mentioned to my Mom that I was thinking of just chucking it in the garbage, she was horrified.

“But, what if someone finds it and thinks it’s mine?!” she said, aghast at the possibility.

That’s when I suggested, “Maybe we could cut it up into pieces, wrap it in a trash bag and throw it out murderer style.”

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However, after much pulling and tugging we realized that there was no way the iRide was coming apart. Instead, we decided we might as well skip the dismemberment and just bury it in the shallow grave it deserved – an idea that was later vetoed out of fear that it would eventually rise like a bright pink phoenix (errr, penis) to terrorize future generations.

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Giveaway | Masters of Sex on CraveTV + We-Vibe

Masters of Sex 1There’s been lots exciting new things brewing behind the scenes at Skinny Dip headquarters lately. If you’ve been following my Instagram you may have noticed that we’ve acquired some new Interns and recently spent a week eating & shopping our way through Vancouver. We’re also in the midst of putting the finishing touches on a gorgeous new web design thanks to Ashley over at Little Leaf Design. I’m so excited and can’t wait to launch the new version of Skinny Dip!

In the meantime, I have a really fun collaboration (& giveaway!) to share with you guys. One of my favourite adult product lines, We-Vibe has teamed up with one of my favourite TV shows, Masters of Sex.

Currently streaming on CraveTV and based on Thomas Maier’s biography of Dr. William Masters and Virginia Johnson, Masters of Sex is an award-winning series starring Michael Sheen (The Queen, The Damned United) and Lizzy Caplan (Mean Girls, Bachelorette) as the renowned research duo of Masters and Johnson. I really love this show because it appeals to my feminist, sex-geek side; while also being a highly entertaining & sexy drama. I also adore Lizzy Caplan, who I’ve loved since Mean Girls and her portrayal of Virginia Johnson. When asked to describe Masters of Sex, I always tell people that it’s like Mad Men only with more sex. Yup. 

I just added CraveTV to my cable package and can’t wait to catch up on the episodes I missed once I have some down time!

To help promote that you can now stream Masters of Sex, CraveTV has teamed up with the makers of the We-Vibe 4 Plus, a Canadian-designed, premium sensual lifestyle product, ergonomically designed to sync with the human body. Its design is based on a deep understanding of the science and physiology  of sexual response achieved through research like that depicted in Masters of Sex.

I’m a huge fan of We-Vibe because they make two of my favourite vibrators: the Tango and the Touch. I own several incarnations of their famous couples vibrator. The We-Vibe 4 Plus takes the classic design of their popular couple’s vibrator to a whole new level by adding a smartphone app which allows you to stimulate your partner remotely – whether you’re in the other room or across the globe. Crazy right?

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Lucky for me, I was able to catch up with We-Vibe expert, Tristan Weedmark about how We-Vibe’s technology & philosophy relates to the research that inspired the show Masters of Sex.

1. How has Masters and Johnson’s groundbreaking research influenced our modern understanding of human sexuality?

Masters and Johnson were the first people to take human sexuality seriously as a science. With very little support and a whole lot of scrutiny they embarked on years of research that uncovered human sexual response and the stages of arousal.  Without having them forge the path of sexual discovery it is hard to say how much we would know today. Their determination has given the opportunity to all the great minds in the field of sexual science today. They laid the foundation of all modern understanding of human sexuality.

2. Have you applied any of their research on human sexuality to the design of We-Vibe products? How so?

Masters and Johnson debunked Freud’s theory that clitoral orgasms were inferior to vaginal orgasms. The duo cited that either directly or indirectly clitoral stimulation was essential to orgasm. Knowing this, the We-Vibe was born. Because of Masters and Johnson’s work we know that achieving an orgasm through penetration alone is not possible for the majority of women. The We-Vibe is a c-shaped product designed to be worn during sex for extra stimulation to her clitoris and G-spot, making orgasm through intercourse more achievable. Not to mention that they too believed that a vibrator can go a long way in teaching a woman about her body and sexual satisfaction. Thanks, Ulysses!

3. Why did We-Vibe decide to partner with Masters of Sex/Crave TV?
 
While Masters and Johnson collaboratively unearthed some of the biggest sexual discoveries of their time,  we really wanted to tip our hats to Virginia Johnson, a woman well ahead of her time. We can all learn something from her tenacity, she wasn’t afraid to break the mould and she definitely was in charge of her sexual pleasure. She was a woman who fought for her passion, never stopped learning and was always on the pursuit of knowledge. She was heard in a time when women were only meant to be seen, she demanded the respect of her, primarily male, colleagues, and like many modern women, she struggled with balancing being a single, working mother.

4. What can couples learn from watching Masters of Sex that they could apply to their own sex lives?
 
Sex is beautiful, but it is complicated. Sex is fun, but it isn’t always easy. Sex is physical, but has many mental barriers. Don’t take it for granted, always try to make it better. Most of all, when it comes to sex, never stop exploring.

(I agree!)

If you’re looking to add a little bit of extra fun and exploration to your own sex life, I have one We-Vibe 4 Plus to giveaway to one reader. Simply leave a comment on this post and follow the prompts below. I will pick a winner Monday May 25th.

Giveaway open to Canadian and USA residents only.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck & thanks for reading!

Happy 20th Birthday Match.com!

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It’s been a busy few weeks of editing and putting the finishing touches on my first book (!!!) I’m so excited to be on the homestretch of this project – partly because it means that I can get back into blogging on a regular basis. Stay tuned, I tons of beautiful lingerie, sexy toy reviewsContinue reading

Review | Shopping at Cupid Boutique

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Although I now do most of adult product shopping online, I probably never would have become interested sex toys had it not been for actual brick and mortar sex shops. Long before I was sex and relationship blogger with an enviable toy collection, I did all my adult product shopping at the stores that linedContinue reading

Giveaway | Skinny Dip x Crave

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On Monday I finished the first draft of my very first book!! I’m so excited. This has been a huge life goal for me for as long as I can remember, so I’m still kind of in shock! (Even typing the last few sentences feels totally surreal!) There’s still a lot to do editing wise,Continue reading

Why You Should Buy a Woman Flowers & How to Do it Properly

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If you check out my Pinterest or Instagram, it’s pretty obvious that I’m kind of obsessed with flowers – especially now that so many of them are in bloom around here! When it comes to me & flowers, the brighter, the more vivid, the better. Over the years I’ve learned exactly what kinds of flowers IContinue reading